hiya so this is another trash thing I wrote and put on my Instagram but am sharing it here for the diode love so enjoy. ash omg I'm pretty sure he did more than 5 things that are unacceptable but whatever
5 Things You Just Don't Do to People With Glasses
list by hawkeyearrow on tumblr — story by me
1) "wow you look so much better with your glasses off!" just. please don't.
2) take their glasses off their face and refuse to give them back. it isn't quirky or funny, it's really, really annoying.
3) "oh you got new glasses? i don't like them." you obviously have no idea a: how much those cost (hint: a lot, unless they were free w/ insurance) or b: how long whoever you're dissing probably spent picking those out.
4) "how many fingers am i holding up?!" i will break in to wherever you are and flip you off.
5) poke the lenses of their glasses. does this REALLY need an explanation?
Clemont sat at his desk, scribbling at a diagram for a new invention. Ash groaned, sprawled out on a nearby couch, obviously bored. When Clemont said they should hang out, he thought that meant they would be doing things together, not Clemont doing math and him dying of boredom.
After a few more minutes of absolutely nothing, Ash decided to act. Standing from the couch, he snuck up behind the blond, and gently lifted his glasses from his face. Instead of turning to confront the brunet, Clemont remained facing forwards, and sighed.
"Ash..." Ash only raised an eyebrow, now wearing the large round glasses of his boyfriend. He couldn't see— no pun intended, how these things actually helped Clemont see. His eyes took too long to focus as he looked from the back of Clemont's head to the desk where the blond dropped his pencil. Everything, though clear, was way too clear. He was starting to get a headache.
"How do you even see with these? Is your vision that bad?"
"Ash! Give them back!" The inventor whined, turning to face his boyfriend, who'd taken a step back, out of Clemont's reach.
"Here, how many fingers am I holding up?" Ash held out his hand, with his two fingers raised to give the appearance of a peace sign.
"You're holding up two— I'm not blind!" He reached in Ash's general direction, but the brunet took another step back.
"Uh, yea, you are," Ash said, carelessly removing the frames, taking no care to not get fingerprints on the lenses. "Hey! I can see now! You look really good without your glasses by the way."
"Are you implying that I don't look good with them?" He was offended.
"No, no, nothing like that." Ash took to swinging the glasses around by one arm, watching them spin as he did so.
"Be careful with those, they're new!" Clemont was horrified. Ash was like a kid playing darts with the Mona Lisa.
"They are? They look exactly like your other ones." His boyfriend's protests didn't make it through. Now he was spinning them faster than before. Clemont envisioned them going flying, out the window of the Prism Tower and shattering ten stories down on the street below, or even worse— hitting someone. Either way they'd be broken.
"Because I like how my old ones loo-"
"You should've gotten some cool ones!" Even more offended.
"Are you implying that the ones I have aren't cool?" Ash stopped spinning them and took a look at the rounded frames. They weren't the "coolest" but they definitely were Clemont and they fit him well.
"Well they're not the coolest, but they definitely fit you well!" How much more could Ash offend him.
"Wow, thanks, so I'm not cool." Ash scoffed.
"You're the coolest person I know! Not to mention the smartest, cutest, and all around awesomest! And bestest, did I say that?"
"Ash, 'bestest' isn't a word." He could feel a blush creeping up on his cheeks from the praise. Normally he would hide behind his glasses, but that wasn't an option right now.
"Exactly! That's why I need someone smart like you around. I need you Clemont— hey! You're blushing!"
"Am not!" He said, snatching the frames back from Ash and replacing them on his face.
"You're too cute."
so uh basically that was a wall of boyfriend dialogue but I NEED YOU omg