Loop Zero

Pete was ripped from a pleasant dream by a gentle dive-bomb to his vital organs. "HOOF OW!" Well, that's one way to wake up.

"Rise and shine, Feme-boy!" Pete groaned in pain, trying to shake off the dregs of sleep that still clung to his brain. "Time for another fun-filled week of the highest-quality education available to donkeys anywhere!" As far as Pete could tell, Gary thought that a stream of insults was the best way to wake up. Ughh… what's so wrong with listening to the radio in the morning?

Pete just turned over in response to his roommate's greeting. Consequently, Gary whipped his quilt onto the floor, making him curl up into himself trying to retain the warmth of sleep. "Come on, Petey, you can always get back to your stupid, girly fantasies later, mmkay?" Why does he sound so chipper, ughhh…

Pete raised his head, groaning out, "Okay, okay, I'm up..." Gary must've taken him at his word, since Pete could hear him droning on about something as his head hit the pillow again. Thank God. Geze, does Gary wake up at some ungodly hour and just wait to make me get up?

Pete mumbled an "Mm-hm" so that Gary would assume he was still listening. Hazarding a glance at his watch, he found that, yep, right before seven. Sigh. "…new kid we were discussing? Hopkins?"

What now? "Huh?" Pete glanced up, and Gary was actually looking at him and seemed to expect a response. "Oh um…" He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to remember. That does sound kinda famili—Oh yeah, "That kid who's been kicked out of, like, a bazillion schools?" Pete yawned, and figured he'd better get out of bed if he wanted to avoid just falling back to sleep. "What about him?"

"Well—" Gary's voice became slightly muffled as he pulled his shirt on over his head. "Rumor has it that he's going to be arriving here today." Gary's face popped through his shirt sporting one of the largest grins Pete had ever seen. "Doesn't that sound exciting, Petey?" He was about to voice his agreement, but Gary didn't give him the chance. "Knowing this school, I already know how to get him on my good side. If everything goes well, I might even be able to get him to not hate you, Feme-boy!" Gary looked up from his packing to give Pete an appraising look before smirking. "Well, at least keep him from wanting to kick your head in."

Pete just rolled his eyes. Because there's just a line of people who want to beat the shit out of me for some reason. "Whatever, Gary." And he finally pushed himself up so he could swing his legs out of bed to get ready for the day.

Gary shook his head, tsking. "Really, Petey? Don't you have anything better to say?" Pete would've responded, but he was interrupted by a large yawn. "Honestly Petey, you should show a little more gratitude!" …what the hell is he talking about? He watched Gary throw the last book into his pack with a huff through one eye, trying to rub the sleep out of the other. Gary threw the bag over his shoulder as he stood, speaking as if Pete were being the ridiculous one here. "Not a lot of people would be willing to take you under their wing like I have, you know." He then mock-fluttered his eyelashes in Pete's direction, smirking all the while.

Pete rolled his eyes at the 'flirting', but couldn't stop himself from saying under his breath. "Yeah, who wouldn't want somebody else constantly following them around, making fun of them…" He started fumbling with the latch on his wardrobe, trying to wake himself up enough to get dressed.

Gary was strangely silent after that, which made Pete turn toward him nervously. Gary was frowning at him—he said in a far less jovial tone "Wow, Petey—that's rather mean of you to say. Do you talk to all your friends like that, or am I just special?" He blinked, a little surprised. Since when were Gary and I friends? But before he could reply, Gary held up a hand and turned dramatically toward the door, like he had better things to do. "Know what, don't bother, Feme-boy. I'll just assume you're PSMing." Pete groaned, glaring at him out of the corner of his eye, but what was he going to do about it? Gary grinned when he saw Pete's glare as he walked out the door, waving cheerily before he took his leave.

Pete sighed. Good riddance. He didn't hate Gary, but being around him for too long, or too early in the morning, tended to make Pete's head hurt. He'd only been here for two weeks and it felt like Gary never left him alone. He started to tug his PJs off, reflecting on what Gary had been talking about. Hm, so the new kid is coming today? He sounds really tough, what with all those rumors of him getting into fights and stuff. What was his name again? Jack? No, it was Jimmy. Why this Jimmy would want to beat him up didn't seem to have crossed Gary mind.

Although… lately, Pete had noticed that people were acting differently towards him. People really haven't been talking to me much… man, I knew making friends was going to be hard, but nobody at this stupid school will even talk to me. He frowned at the discolored shirt he had to wear for his uniform now—he hadn't even been able to get a word in before Gary had started listing off possible nick-names. Well, except for Gary. Wonder what he would've called me if I'd left a blue or green sock in the wash instead of a red one… That thought was enough to get him to actually put the stupid thing on.

Pete's train of thought returned to the new kid. Maybe this Jimmy would turn out to be nice? Pete doubted that. Even if only a few of the rumors about Jimmy turned out to be true, it was clear that he was coming to Bullworth because he was being forced to, not transferring here out of choice. That didn't really bode well for his attitude coming here. Still, that doesn't mean he's a terrible person or anything.

The rumors about Jimmy said otherwise, of course. If Pete did believe all the stuff the students were saying about Jimmy, he'd have to believe that Jimmy had: Beat up a classmate so badly that he had to walk with crutches, beat up a gang member with his own wrench (Gary said the Greasers found that rumor particularly insulting for some reason), beat up a teacher so badly that he had to walk with crutches, gotten expelled for covering his classroom with peanut butter, and broken the collarbone of a teacher (not the one with the crutches, apparently) because they'd been hitting on a girl he liked.

Naturally, Pete was skeptical about the legitimacy of most of these rumors (like, seriously? Peanut butter?), but enough of them were circulating to get most of the kids in school pretty scared of this Jimmy. Which means most of the kids hate him already, even though they've never even met him... Pete thought this all over as he started packing things into his own backpack for the day, sighing. That really isn't fair to Jimmy. Nobody's even gonna give him much of a chance, since everybody around here seems to buy into the rumor mill whole-hog... He couldn't imagine arriving at a place where complete strangers had already decided they hated him.

Just coming here was scary enough… He didn't really talk with the kids who lived around here much, and he'd only ever seen most of the kids who lived on-campus just in passing around town. It wasn't that Pete didn't like people or anything, it was just that talking to people he didn't know tended to fray his nerves. Gary was the exact opposite—the first time he'd seen Gary in the dorm, he had been sitting on the couch, listening in on every conversation in the common room just enough so that he could butt into four conversations at once.

Pete chuckled to himself a little at the memory. Gary could be pretty funny sometimes, even if his sense of humor ran far darker than Pete's own. Luckily, Gary didn't seem as horrible a person as the rumors he'd heard over the summer suggested. He had taken Pete under his wing, showing him the ins-and-outs of the cliques, sitting with him in the cafeteria, stuff like that. Which was no small thing—moving from home-school to a regular school was tough enough, so having somebody he at least knew in passing was… comforting. And, honestly, as far as nick-names go, it could really be a lot worse than 'Feme-boy'.

Eventually, his train of thought drifted back to the new kid as he zipped up his book bag. Gary seemed pretty keen on befriending him; he hadn't talked about anything else since the rumor started circulating. I bet we can all be friends! Pete found a smile on his face despite himself, and let that thought lighten his steps a bit as he opened the door to the hallway.

Ha. If he had only known what was to come.

The dorm common area had finally emptied out long after the sun had stopped lighting the grime-encrusted windows and the "SKOOLZ OWT 4 EVAH!" banner somebody had hung up. Pete usually didn't stay up this late, but Jimmy kept dragging him back to hear various people's stories, praise, and just making him participate in the general celebration. And hey, it was a party—Pete didn't get to go to one this big very often. And even though all he'd really wanted was to go to sleep, at least Jimmy was trying to include him.

But he and Jimmy were the only people up now—even that guy with the sleep problems appeared to have passed out on the couch. Pete was picking through the leftover snacks on the poker table, and Jimmy was doing that leaning-against-the-wall-while-sitting-in-a-chair thing. "Wow, what a day, eh Petey?"

Pete smiled wryly. "Ha, I think that's a bit of an understatement." Jimmy laughed as Pete extracted a licorice stick from under the pile of junk food and sat down silently looking over the common room.

"Haha, yeah, for sure!" Nothing was said for a couple minutes, and Jimmy noticed Pete looked pretty pensive. "…how come you're so quiet? Aren't you happy we won?"

Pete started at that. "What do you mean, 'we won'?" He looked at Jimmy in mild confusion.

Jimmy reflected Pete's own look of confusion "Whad'ya mean, 'what do I mean'? We beat Gary! He got shipped off to Happy Volts, you're fuckin' Head Boy, the cliques've been dissolved, we won!" Jimmy's eyes narrowed in what could have easily been annoyance or confusion. "What, are you still looking out for that girlfriend?"

"What? No, no, not that, it's just…" Pete started counting his points off finger-by-finger. "Well, Gary got shipped off to an insanity asylum where he'll probably get way worse before he gets any better, you're going to have to spend the next three years keeping people from getting into fights, and… well…" Pete sighed, letting his hand drop. "Let's face it, I doubt any title is going to get me any respect or anything."

Jimmy scrutinized Pete a little before snorting. "Geze, Petey, that's kinda harsh."

Pete shrugged, chuckling dryly as he looked back up at Jimmy from boring a hole in the rug. "If I've learned anything from attending this school, 'the world is harsh' is it." Jimmy gave a that's fair shrug. Pete looked down, sighing. "I guess I just don't feel like anybody really won. I mean, I don't know about you, but don't you wish Gary hadn't been so crazy and had just stayed friends with us?"

Jimmy crossed his arms, glaring at the snack pile. "I'd never be friends with that motherfucker."

Pete nodded sympathetically. "I know what you mean, but what if Gary had never betrayed you? What would have happened? Could we have convinced Gary we really were his friends?" Jimmy laughed harshly at that, giving Pete a patronizing glance. "What?"

"Come on, man—" Jimmy shook his head at Pete's apparent naiveté, "Gary never thought we were friends. He just wanted to use us to take over the school."

Pete shook his head, turning his body in Jimmy's direction, trying to convey his idea. "But that's the thing… I get why he'd want to use you, but why would he want to use me?" Jimmy's amusement disappeared as Pete let his words sink in. A few moments later he continued, "I mean sure, Gary and I had met before this year started, but I didn't know him that well—I certainly wouldn't call us 'friends'. He just kinda pushed me around whenever we came into contact around town. But we had talked before, and he knew I couldn't fight or anything." Pete then gave Jimmy a questioning look. "So then why would Gary start planning this… thing, to somehow include me?"

Jimmy wasn't sure what to say to that. "Come on, who wouldn't want you on their side?"

Pete threw his hands up in a mock-shrug. "Uh, somebody who needed to beat up more than half the school in order to accomplish their goal? I'm just saying, Peter Kowalski is a terrible choice if you're trying to control a school full of people who're really good at punching each other. For somebody who's so smart, you'd think that Gary would want somebody who was, I dunno, good at networking, like Christy, or somebody who's good at tactics, like one of the Nerds."

Jimmy replied slowly "I guess? …So what're you sayin'?"

Pete sighed, leaning back as if his little rant had exhausted him. "I dunno. I guess I just want to know why all the crazy shit this year happened." Pete looked over at Jimmy. "Don't you want to know why?"

Jimmy shrugged, reaching for a candy bar. "I don't really care. I mean, isn't Gary being a fucking asshole explanation enough?"

Pete shook his head. "Yeah, he's an asshole, but he's smart about it. He's only openly douchey to people who are too weak to be a problem for him, like me, or that he thinks are too 'dumb' to care, like you." Jimmy paused in ripping the wrapping off the bar to give him a glare, and Pete was quick to back-pedal. "Not that you are, obviously! I'm just trying to think the way that Gary would."

Jimmy rolled his eyes and took a bite out of the candy bar. "Why fhe hewl wood 'ou wanna do 'at, Petey?"

Pete flinched at the flecks of candy bar that nearly hit the table. "Um… why would I want to do that? To find out why Gary did what he did. Why would he think any of this was a good idea? It just… doesn't make any sense. He must've known it couldn't last." Pete sighed again, looking back down at the floor. "…I guess I just want to know if I could've done anything different to help."

The two friends sat in silence processing those words for a few seconds before Jimmy thumped Pete cordially on the back. He let out what could only be described as a startled squeak, which Jimmy found funny but had the courtesy to resist commenting on. "Sorry, Petey. Forget my own strength, sometimes."

" 'sokay. Thanks for trying to make me feel better, anyway." Pete yawned and looked at his watch. "Dang, it's getting late—I still gotta pack up for tomorrow." He stood up as Jimmy yawned. "I think I'm gonna head to bed."

Jimmy stood up and stretched as well. "Yeah I gotta get some shut-eye too—" Jimmy looked over at Pete. "You still got my number?"

Pete grinned and nodded. "Yep! You've got my address, right?" Jimmy nodded back.

"Yeah. Hey, in case I don't see you tomorrow, have a great summer." Jimmy's face softened to look less angry than it normally did, and Pete was pretty sure he was trying to smile. He appreciated the effort.

"You too, man. See ya!" The two boys then split up, walking to their respective rooms.

Pete shut the door as quietly as he could, not wanting to wake anybody. He let out a breath, and wandered over to his wardrobe to start changing into his PJs. In the meantime, he studied all the stuff he had accumulated over the last… Wow, was it really only eight months? Felt like forever. It wasn't as much as what Jimmy had managed to amass in his room, but he still had a few things—some Grottos and Gremlins cards he had found lying around, some of the drawings he was particularly proud of, other knick-knacks. It wasn't home of course, but it felt lived-in. I'm almost sad to have to leave. Emphasis on almost.

Pulling on his pajamas, Pete found himself examining Gary's side of their room. Kinda weird that he's not here. He had almost always been in the room whenever Pete happened to be here these last few months, but he had tried to get out a little more—partly trying to avoid Gary, partly trying to get Jimmy to stop messing around and listen to him. So he wasn't sure just how much time Gary had spent in the room. Judging by the yelling match on the roof today, it had been a lot.

Looking at Gary's stuff without him there actually made Pete realize how...generic it was. It's like one of those showrooms in IKEA. Pete couldn't even say for sure if anything about Gary's side of the room was different from the start of the year. Did he really just sit in his room this whole time? He shook his head, sighing. Oh well… I guess there's nothing that I can do about it now. Maybe Gary really will get better at Happy Volts…

Pete really didn't believe that. He'd seen the way they treated children in this town, and he doubted that they would treat the mentally compromised all that much better. Still…can't dwell on the past. Pete finally got into bed, turning the lamp off with a snap. Nothing you can do about it, Petey.

Peter Kowalski fell asleep Saturday, June 2nd, 2007. It'd been a very long year.