Author's Note: I don't own anything except the computer I'm writing this on. Also, I generally try to avoid spoilers, and as such I expect this to be totally wrong. But I wrote it anyway.
She could feel his eyes on her as she waited.
The silence between them had grown uncomfortable once they entered the building. When they were in neutral ground – whether it was half a world away or the subway station down the block – it was like nothing had changed. But as soon as they entered their – his, she corrected herself – apartment building, the air between them had become charged. Neither of them wanted to speak, for fear of disrupting the careful balance that now existed between the two of them.
He fumbled with the keys as he tried to unlock the door. It took two tries before he heard the deadbolt slide back. He glanced over at her once more before twisting the knob open. They'd come so far, just getting to this point was enough.
Home.
They'd been together only a few months when she'd left. They hadn't had their first anniversary – or even their first fight. They were happy, blissful, the beautiful honeymoon period that she'd hoped would never end.
And then she walked out, leaving behind the only person she ever truly loved.
She gently rubbed her finger over her wedding band, feeling each individual stone. He'd given it back to her only days before. She remembered when she took it off, the only time she had removed the ring since he had slid in onto her finger at their wedding. She had made her decision; she had to keep them safe. But in that instant, leaving seemed nearly impossible. She knew what it would do to him, when he woke up and saw her gone, saw her ring laying there. But she knew what could happen if she stayed. Kurt, his daughter, Allie, Sarah, everyone they knew and loved was at risk. She had to keep them safe, no matter her personal cost.
In the months that followed, she had convinced herself that she had made the right decision. The pain of loss was just the price she had to pay. It was worth it, Jane thought, this was just her new normal. She would never be able to be happy; this was just penance for the crimes she had committed as Remi. She had been so naive to think it wouldn't come back. To think that capturing Shepherd and ending Sandstorm would be enough. No, this was her true penance. To know happiness and love, and to live without it.
But everything had changed the moment he walked back into her life.
And now here they were, standing in the entry way of the doorway she'd walked out of so long ago, never to return.
She felt her breath catch in her throat as he opened the door.
He let the door swing open, it gently hitting the wall before coming to a rest. For the first time since they'd walked into the building, Jane glanced over at Kurt. His bright blue eyes were clouded with worry as he gestured her inside. For the first time Jane thought about what this must be like for him. She'd thought about the pain she'd caused – that was all she thought about some times – but this was new. They'd been apart so long, and now she was back. They had had infinite starts and stops over the years, and all of a sudden, she worried if this was the one that would finally break them.
Jane tightened her grip on her bag, trying to work up the nerve to take that first step. One step at a time, she thought. The same way she had climbed the mountain all those times. The first step was always the hardest, she knew that. But all she had to do was take that step.
It was exactly the same.
Over a year later, and it hadn't changed. Even the plant by the window was still alive, the tendrils of leaves longer as they wrapped around the pot, but otherwise identical. Patterson had given it to them as a wedding present; she had insisted it was better than flowers which were doomed to wilt and die. This would continue to grow, she said, just like their love. Someone had clearly been watering it in their absence, probably Patterson, but Jane was grateful to see it still thriving.
She walked around slowly, taking it all in. It really was exactly as she'd left it.
Their favorite picture from their wedding, slightly off center, but the smiles radiating on their faces, was still hanging on the wall, a thin coat of dust resting on top of the frame.
The book she'd been reading was still left on the end table by the couch. She reached out, gently running her fingers over the cover. It was as if she could just pick it up, start reading from where she had left off all that time ago.
Jane swore that if she opened the fridge, she would see the same leftovers and take out containers that had been there last year.
She smiled at the newest pictures on the table – updated ones of Kurt's daughter. She'd been just a baby last time Jane had seen her. Now she was a toddler, the little girl clearly taking after her father in terms of looks.
In that moment, her heart started to race, the familiar panic returning. This was why she had left. She had to keep them safe.
"Jane," the voice seemed distant, until she felt his hand resting on her arm. "It's okay. We're okay."
She stared into his eyes, the worry that had darkened them before had abated, now they shown only with concern for her.
Taking a deep breath, she looked around once more, trying to process the scene that lay before her. How could it all be the same? How could it feel so much like she was returning home – when it had barely been her home to begin with?
She'd lived in the hut on the mountain for longer than she'd lived here with him. And although that tiny hut had provided safety, it had never felt like home. It was just that – a shelter from the storm inside her heart, waiting for her to ride out the pain and storms, waiting for her to find her way back here.
And now that Jane was here, she felt that warm feeling sweep over her.
They had made their life here, together. This had been their home, no matter how brief of a time they had shared it.
Early mornings spent with steaming cups of coffee, enjoying the silence so rarely heard in the city. She loved those moments, sometimes before Kurt would even wake, being alone, but so surrounded by his love she was never truly alone.
Lazy weekend afternoons spent lounging on the couch together. Sometimes reading, sometimes talking, oftentimes just daydreaming in silence. It never mattered as long as they were together. She could almost feel his gentle touch running up and down her arm, remembering the moments they shared together.
Evenings watching Kurt cook dinner in the kitchen. She didn't mind helping out, but oftentimes she spent the time perched on the countertop, sneaking bites and tastes as he did all the work.
Nights spent wrapped in each other's arms, safe, warm, and loved. Knowing that there was no place she'd rather be.
It was then she realized the truth – what she had been seeking for all those months. She had left to protect him and everyone she loved. But the only way she could truly be safe is if they were together.
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