I'd just like to say that the entire idea for this story was based off of how Nastasia and Ofdensen reminded me of each other.

I gotta tell ya, in the first few in-between chapters of Super Papes I was terrified of that woman. Nothing could stop her, and she knew it, and she was so casual about it. Then later on you saw another side of her and she was more humanized than before, so she was less bone-crunchingly horrifying. On the other hand you've got Ofdensen, who's also in a generic office job for an organization that's bigger than you can understand, who out of nowhere it turns out he can break the arm of a guy twice his size and stab him with his own knife, fence on top of a gargoyle, send people to their deaths with a smirk- and still be so freaking casual. And as the episodes go on, you see he's got so much more going on inside of him that he's less terrifyingly unstoppable and more... human, I suppose.

In the continuity of the show, all the cuss language is written out as a guitar riff. They read like (riff). This is partially to imitate the source material and partially to cop a T rating so it shows up without any settings. I'm not wimping out on typing cusses, I'm just trying to mix an M rated source with a K+ rated source. As such, there will also only be amusing cartoon violence.

Speaking of which, the "Mario" bit is actually from my series "The Count's World," if you haven't gotten here from there. I explain it somewhere in my profile...

And so. From there, I give you: Count on the Metalocalypse, starring Count Bleck's Minions and Dethklok. And then some, I assure you.


One happy three in the morning, a visitor came to Castle Bleck. Castle Bleck didn't really have that many visitors, given that it was positioned in a dimension so isolated as to be completely impenetrable to everyone. That, of course, wasn't the case, but the fact still remained that it was made to keep people away.

Count Bleck was aware of the visitor because their security system from Episode 9 alerted him to any inter-dimensional activity happening on the grounds after he set it, and it was programmed to wake him up in the most annoying way possible. Count Bleck was not a good sleeper, so it took him a while to lift his head out and mutter a coherent, "just let Count Bleck shut off this alarm..."

By the time he was sitting up, Tippi was wide awake. She was sitting on the pillow next to him, watching him with her antennae cocked slightly. "Do you want me to get it?" she asked.

"As master of this castle, it falls to me," said Count Bleck. "I'm surprised anyone is awake at this hour," he added as he staggered out of the room, weaving as he floated.

"Are you even awake?" she called after him.

Just down the hallway, an idea occurred to him, and he warped directly to the front door. He opened it and said, "Greetings from Castle Bleck!" before he saw it was Merlon who was standing on the front step. "Oh, good morning, Merlon."

"May I speak with you? It's urgent."

"It must be," said Count Bleck, "for you to come calling so late... or early... which is it, Bleck wonders?"

"It depends," replied Merlon, brushing past the Count. He had a thick, white book tucked under his arm. It took Count Bleck about nine of Merlon's paces in front of him for it to click that he was carrying the Light Prognosticus, the book that countered the Dark Prognosticus from opening the Void to End All Worlds. Count Bleck was still keeping the dark version squirreled away somewhere, although he couldn't exactly remember where this early.

In the next intersection, they crossed pathways with Dimentio, who was holding a Cooking Mistake.

"Good morning, Count," said Dimentio.

"Well, there you go," said Merlon to Count Bleck.

"I was attempting to prepare myself a delicacy to settle my oh-so-ravenous appetite." He gestured to the dish. "Unfortunately, I don't seem to be a well-versed chef."

"Feed it to Charlotte," said Count Bleck.

"Such was my plan." He disappeared.

Count Bleck led Merlon into the study. Right away Merlon opened the Light Prognosticus to the middle. "This is a magic book," he said. "Not all of his contents are available at all times. These passages were recently made available to me... I dread to know, but have you been following your Prognosticus?"

"Thank you for asking, I have not," replied Count Bleck.

"I didn't mean to imply that you were using it- only wondering if you were keeping up with any of its dark prophecies."

"I assumed you were giving me the benefit of the doubt."

"Could you bring that dreadful tome to me?" Merlon asked. "It may give information as to what is happening. This book only instructs how to stop it."

"Yyyyyyes, very well. Count Bleck will return momentarily-"

As Count Bleck rose, Dimentio appeared above him so as soon as Bleck was standing, Dimentio was standing on his hat. He held up the Dark Prognosticus and smirked. "It was at the base of your cape hamper."

Merlon raised an eyebrow.

"I hide it in fresh places periodically," the Count explained sheepishly. "It seems I can't hide it from everyone."

Count Bleck took the book from Dimentio. As he lay his hand on it, Dimentio leaned next to the Count's face and whispered, "If you stare too long into the abyss, my Count, you'll find the abyss staring back into you."

"The same to you," Count Bleck replied. He opened the book to the last available page: "It says here that the Seven who seek to undo evil will be sucked into evil itself. Five will stand tall to bring about the Void, and the clash will be like none seen before. No one will survive."

"Mine says that before the Five call the Void, the Seven will have a chance to enter a world unlike any seen before by them."

"Will they use the Chaos Heart?" asked Count Bleck.

"The Chaos Heart is the very embodiment of the void," replied Merlon. "The Void cannot exist without the Heart being summoned."

"The Chaos Heart was banished after the Pure Hearts were gathered..." Count Bleck traced the ancient text carefully. "The Pure Hearts are waiting to be needed again, traveling along waves of pure love... but what of the Chaos Heart?"

"It, too, is waiting," said Dimentio in his usual eerily cheerful way. "It lies in wait quietly, waiting to be summoned by a heart empty of all love and compassion."

"Thank, you, Dimentio."

Dimentio bowed.

"Now then."

Merlon spoke: "'A fair and lovely princess... A furious monster king... The union of these two will call forth the Chaos Heart, the consumer of worlds... And the Chaos Heart will ravage the sky, and so bring forth The Void.' So read the passage that initially summoned the Chaos Heart. Of course you found the very embodiment of the characters described in the passage. As I study more and more of these old texts, I realize the reason that the union of Peach and Bowser could summon the heart. Purity and Chaos cannot exist together. Uniting the pair in sacred matrimony set off a terrible reaction that could not exist in any world."

"Someone ought to tell that to Bowser."

Merlon chuckled. "If Pure Good and Pure Evil, purity and chaos, ever come together, it could mean the end of everything."

Count Bleck let that process in his mind. "So... we must separate purity and chaos before they combine and end everything?"

Merlon shook his head. "If this prophecy is accurate... they already have."