She couldn't put the knife down; cutting her skin away seems to help her feel better. What does feeling better really feel like? Will it bring happiness? But her happiness is clouded in dark grey. She can't smile, she can't feel happy. But why? Will there be somebody to save her?
She locked herself in the girl's bathroom of the school, during lunch time. It quiet and nobody will get to see her 'ugly' face as what they call her. She could hear the voices in her head echo. "Hey, ugly face." "What are you going to do, cry?" They laugh. "You don't belong here."
She cried loudly as the memories flashed through her. Why can't they leave her alone? Why can't she stand up to them and tell them to fuck off? She watched the crimson blood pour out of her wrist.
Blood, it rushes just like kids with their words, and it never stops. Knife, it hurts like hell if you get cut, but words can hurt you and stab at your heart. She has no friends, nobody cares to reach out to her all they do is call her names. What about her parents? She doesn't have any parents, she lives with Diz. Diz told her, that her parents couldn't afford to take care of her, so they gave her to an old friend, which was Diz.
The bathroom door groaned open, they must of heard her sobbing, because she could hear two girls giggling. "I guess the crybaby is in here."
Anger boiled inside her. She wanted to scream and kick the metal door, but what would that prove? Instead of screaming out loud, she screamed in her head, where nobody can hear her, and nobody cares. What if anybody could hear her screaming? Would they care?
The girls outside of the other side of the door were calling her names and laughing. The girl put her knife away and she pulled down her long sleeve and she opened the door. She didn't look at them, she kept going.
"What's wrong? Does the truth hurt?"
She left the bathroom, slamming the door shut as if it mocked them. She walked down the hall to get back to her class, as she entered the room. The teacher was talking and the students were looking up at her and listing what she had to say.
She took her seat at the back row, where nobody sat. As she took a seat, she noticed there was a folded piece of paper lying on her desk. She unfolded it, her eyes suddenly grew big and sad. It was all the names that they call her.
She quickly crumbled up the paper as the memories began to fill in her mind, and she set it on the floor. Maybe somebody will see it and maybe stop the bulling?
Suddenly somebody picked up the paper, she quickly turned her head, to see who it was. It was a boy, with blond spiky hair and big blue eyes. She never seen him before. He must be new, he must've came in the classroom when she was in the bathroom.
She watched him unfold the paper and he read what's on it. As he glared at her, she quickly turned her head and payed attention to the teacher as if she's ashamed of herself.
She suddenly felt a hand on her shoulder, she turned her head around, she met eyes with the boy. "I'm Roxas," he whispered.
"I'm Namine, nice to meet you," she whispered back.
Suddenly the bell had rung for lunch and the students grabbed their things and left the room. Namine was the first one to leave the room, to avoid all contact from the students and Roxas.
She usually brings her own lunch and she eats outside, by herself. There are a few others outside, but they don't bother her. She put her earphones in her ears, she blasted her music and she ate her lunch.
The sun hit her skin and it kept her warm, her hair blew gently in the wind, it was so relaxing to be alone, she loved to be alone. She took out her lunch out of her lunchbox and she took a bite in her sandwich. She hummed alone to her favorite song.
You can tell everybody about the state I'm in,
you won't catch me crying cause I just can't win.
I don't care anymore.
I don't care anymore.
Suddenly at the corner of her eye, she saw somebody sit next to her. Who would want to sit with her? Are they going to make fun of her? She turned her head, she was shocked that the new kid, was sitting next to her. She took one of her earphones out. "What are you doing?"
"I read the note over and over. How are you dealing with it?"
Well, I'm use to it and I just don't care anymore," she said in a sad soft tone.
"Namine, it's hurting you. I can tell! I just want you to tell me, and I want to be your friend."
Namine saw the hurt in his eyes. He wasn't lying, he's being serious. But who would want to be her friend? "No thanks. I'm fine." She grabbed her things and she walked off.
But what if Roxas has friends, and if she told him everything, he might go and tell his friends about her problems and he will make fun of her like everyone else. She can't let them get close together.
Roxas followed behind her as they entered the school. "Namine, please-"
She stopped to face him. "Roxas, just go. I don't need a friend. I don't care what you say. I won't be there anymore!" She walked down the hall, leaving Roxas wondering if she's going to end her life.