This is all that bitch, Mona's fault.
At least that's what Toby's inner selfishness was saying. Inner Selfishness had a big mouth. Always putting his two cents in when it wasn't needed.
Realistically, this was all Toby's fault.
He knew this was a possibility when he joined the A-Team and he really should have been more prepared for it.
The look on Spencer's face when he turned around was seared into his brain. She had been trying not to cry in front of him, but failing. Spencer was the strongest person he knew and the look she gave him told him everything he needed to know about how this epiphany was going to effect her.
He'd broken her.
All because he thought he could do a better job protecting her than Spencer could herself. Although, Toby was still convinced that someone needed to do it. She focused too much on keeping the people she loved safe, that she wasn't as careful herself.
It was why Toby was doing this, but he'd never be able to tell Spencer that. She wouldn't believe him and he couldn't blame her.
Standing up from his seat on the rock looking over Rosewood, Toby pulled his keys from his pocket. He had to grab a few sets of clothes from his place before he headed to the motel and he couldn't waste anymore time sitting at his and Spencer's spot, reminiscing over his dumb decisions.
Quickly closing his door behind him, Toby flipped on the kitchen light and stopped.
As if we needed another slap in the face, tonight.
At least Inner Selfishness was still able to form words because Toby was at a loss for them.
Spencer hadn't been at a dinner for Mr. Hastings tonight. She'd been here.
She'd been in his loft, getting ready to surprise him with dinner. Toby realized that one of the glasses had been drank out of and the saran wrap covered dish on the counter was no longer completely concealed.
Toby vaguely registered that it was lasagna as he stared at the scrabble board on his kitchen counter.
"Glyceraldehyde" and "Goofball" were in the top corner exactly how they had been the first night Spencer had spent the night with him.
And in the center were the words "I Love You". Words that had taken Spencer eleven months of being with him to say. She'd implied it, of course, from the very first time he'd said it to her and she replied with "I wanted to say that first."
But, Spencer wasn't the type to trust easily and it had taken a while for her to realize that Toby really was invested. She didn't wear her heart on her sleeve and after tonight's debacle, Toby was sure she'd lock it up tight and build a wall around it.
He couldn't even open the card, not wanting to see what other beautiful words the woman he loved had wasted on him.
Toby felt sick.
Jogging up to his bedroom, he grabbed the fist things he could find, clothes wise, to last him for a few days. He would have to leave the rest of his belongings behind until he could come back here.
If there was one thing Toby Cavanaugh was good at, it was running away. Rule number one; Always travel light.
Throwing his bag down and letting himself fall into a sitting position on his bed, Toby took a deep breath.
Everything had happened so fast, as cliché as it sounded. Toby had barely had time to think and when he left and went to their spot, he really hadn't let himself think. But, now, alone in his loft with nothing but his thoughts and everything Spencer had done for him, Toby had no choice.
It had seemed simple enough. Spencer and her parents were out for the night. Just pick the lock, get in, get the key, and get out.
He'd picked the lock and made it inside without incident.
The thunder and lightning had roared outside with the storm as the carpenter crept through his girlfriend's living room.
He'd made it to the drawer he had witnessed her toss it in and opened it, only to find no key.
Toby remembered thinking how impossible it was. There was no way it had just disappeared. Spencer must have moved it before she left.
He'd rifled through the drawer anyway, because Mona would have his ass if he didn't at least try.
Then he'd heard it. A little shuffle behind him. Then footsteps and a soft, cracking voice.
"Is this what your looking for?"
Toby didn't have to turn around to see who it was. He would know her voice anywhere, he'd spent countless hours wanting nothing more than to hear it. He also didn't have to look to know what she was holding.
A deer in headlights, Toby masked his expression before he heard the key slide across the kitchen floor. She must have thrown it.
But, the blue eyed man had already forgotten about his primary reason for breaking and entering. He turned and felt like he'd been shot in the chest.
He was supposed to be the one to take away Spencer's pain. Not add to it.
God knew what he was going to do without her, but it looked like he was about to find out.
She'd slapped him and he hadn't cared. He knew he deserved it and much worse. She handed him his forged badge and like the coward he was, Toby had run with his tail between his legs at the first thing to distract his now ex girlfriend which had come in the form of Veronica Hastings.
Closing his eyes and snapping back to the present, Toby did something he hadn't done in a long time.
He let himself cry.
He cried because in a matter of minutes everything he loved had been ripped away from him.
He cried because he had no one but himself to blame for it.
He cried for Spencer, knowing how devastated she must be, questioning every word he'd ever said to her, his every action in their relationship.
And he cried for himself. Because Toby Cavanaugh was a masochist. Almost everything that had gone wrong in his life had been his own fault and he didn't know how to stop.
Wiping his tears, the broken hearted boy stood and grabbed his backpack. Tossing in one more item, he made his way to his door, locking his memories tight in a box in his head.
Those kind of thoughts were too heavy for him at the moment and he had to travel light.