Have you ever had a moment where your actions are uncharacteristically unlike the person you have grown to be? The image you have perfected through your existence of changing and molding around your environment and social status has cracked because one person has somehow pushed and pulled inside your heart and settled, daring you. Daring you to be the real you, you hide from the world and prying, judging eyes of humanity. You know, the you that you find yourself being when you are alone in your room, in your car, in the bathroom singing behind the curtains while you lather your hair with shampoo. The off-key high squeal you call singing but you don't care because no one is home and you let yourself go. This one person is daring you to be that person. To let yourself go in front of them and you're scared... aren't you? What if it is too much of the real you or maybe you do not give enough of yourself to be considered real. You are barely pulling the curtains back letting the sunlight filter in the living room, not letting your true self all the way through. Now, you are confused. Your hand is on the door, wrist twisting, turning the knob. Barely, just barely. You don't know how you went to that point because you frankly don't remember moving and there is knocking. Consistent rhythm on the door. You are shaking your head and walking away slowly, backtracking until you feel safe again. You have to remind yourself that this isn't a life or death situation but that doesn't bring you the relief you were hoping for. Your heart is still hammering away in your chest, banging against your flesh. You feel sick and the venom is rising in your throat. Now you are cursing that person for doing this to you. You were doing fine living your double life. You were happy and a sweet taunting voice asks you if you really were and you frown because now, you are not sure. Just like you are not really sure of anything and you curse again. The knocking is louder than before and you cover your ears and shut your eyes until you see white light. You can still hear it, faintly but it is there and you whimper. You can't escape. You are trapped in a corner in your own home and the enemy.. is you. You know now, you can't get away.. ever.

"Spencer?"

and I am brought back. I blink rapidly as my eyes try to adjust to the white walls and the bright light being shined in my eyes. I lift my hand to slap the flashlight away but my body is too weak and I groan lowly,

"You need to relax, I can't keep pulling you out of the system like that. You know how dangerous it is." Markus was angry and I sigh because I did know that but every time I am close to figuring it out. I can't and I am so tired of repeating this life over and over until I catch it. Until it is all over and I can leave and never come back to this hell hole.

"Markus, I am sorry but everything started to close in on me and that damn knocking was.. it was scaring the shit out of me." I feel my whole body start to tense as he checks the vials and bags filled with white liquid. I don't know what it is and I never ask. I know they won't answer anything. I am just a toy in their game, a piece. Yes, I am a vital piece but they can always replicate my DNA and poof, another me to do the work.

"I'm going to put you back in." He goes around the system and checks the stats and makes sure everything is in order before filling the bag with more gooey liquid.

"No, I can't. Not right now please Markus. There is so much I can handle and I've already entered four time today. Give me a break for Gregorys sake." I tried to plead but in his eyes, a cold grey, show no remorse, no mercy. Times like this I am absolutely sure they injected steel in his veins. I don't know much about the 6 foot man. I've tried to pull information. Small facts of his past but he was always smarter.. faster than me.

"I can't do that and don't even try to fight me. You know what happened last time or should I remind you?" His raven eyebrow arch menacingly and I close my eyes and breath deeply because no, I did not need reminding. Flashes of giant men strapping me down, flashes of burning metal, and blood. I cringe as I feel the pain in my back emerge from the simple memory. Sweat beads drip down the valley of my breasts. "When I talk, you should listen. You don't talk, you don't say anything, ok?"

I look down and I nod. I wince as I feel a slight pinch in my forearm as he inserts the needle. I never look but I know the white liquid is flowing down the tube into my blood. It's being pumped throughout my body at 80 beats per minute. I start to feel faint but from experience I won't knock out for another couple of minutes. I feel his coarse fingers tip my head back and I mumble incoherently wishing he'll understand that I detest him touching me but it is no use. He slaps my face a couple of times and I shake my head trying to stay in reality a little bit longer. My eyes drip as I stare at him.

"Remember the mission Spencer, I'm going to set you back to November 15, 2005 and you'll meet Ashley Davies at Starbucks on 2134 West Sunset Boulevard at 1345 hours. I will get you out at 1500 hours... she... dead..." and I don't catch all the words but I know what I'm supposed to do.

I feel myself sinking into my bed slowly being engulfed. I wish I could explain what happens when I transfer from this worlds to the next but.. I can't. The closest I can come up with is swimming under jelly like substance naked and that still doesn't explain it because I've never met a person who has done it. I've never heard a person tell me, I know what you mean.

Soon enough sounds are blasting in my ear drums and I shakily get up. I push myself against the wall and I look around and I'm in an alley this time. I check the time on my wrist watch and it's 1300 hours. I damn Markus in my head hoping he'll choke on air, slip and bite his tongue off, trip and break his hip.. I run my hands through my golden hair and moan in displeasure. Why did it have to be me?

I walk out into the main street, passing strangers, shoulder checking some along my way. I can't lose focus, I can't stray and be swayed into this world. I don't have time to look around and relax. Be another tourist in Los Angeles and catch the stars that walk on this planet. I arrive at Starbucks five minutes early and I'm glad. Maybe I can enjoy whatever a damn Frappuccino is. I cut everyone in line and ignore their insults as I order and slam a twenty on the counter.

"I want a Frappucino and I want it now. It is the most urgent request I will ask in this coffee establishment." I could see the Barista was confused as he slowly took the money and punched into the machine my order.

"Your name?"

"Spencer."

"We'll call you when it is done."

"Thank you kindly..." I scan his name tag. "Rufus."

"Sure?" His eyebrows scrunch as his eyes follow me as I sit near the door and snaps back to take the next order.

I scan every person and decide no one is a threat. I glance at my watch and I have three more minutes before she arrives. I tap my foot impatiently...

"SPENCER!" I jump and retrieve my drink and slurp the sweet concoction as I sit back down. This is delicious. I ignore the pain in my head and continue to drink away until there is nothing left. As I move the straw around trying to get every last drop, my eyes snap instinctively towards the door and stand as you would when royalty arrived and there she is, Ashley Davies, daughter of Raife Davies, wearing a simple white blouse and tight jeans that will make any man groan in fustration. She is so damn beautiful that I let the pain seep into my skull and I hiss in pain and dig my palm into my eye socket.

"Hey, Are you ok?" Her voice is.. raspy. I don't look up because I know I will fall for her like I do every time I see her in Starbucks at exactly the same time, the same day. She doesn't remember me ever but I do. I remember her so vividly I could close my eyes and point to her adorable birthmark on her hip.

"Yes, I am. I think I drank it too fast." I shake the empty plastic and smile.. more like grimace but I try.

Her laugh is like a symphony playing through my soul and it pulls out the worst in me and I growl. She stops short and places her hand on my shoulder. That finally causes me to look at her and I crumble. I firmly plant my lips on hers and it is even sweeter than that evil brown drink. She gasps and no, she doesn't kiss me back but stands there in shock and my heart is saddened. I would of loved to have felt her lips move against mine in the most erotic rhythm before.. well before I killed her.

That was my mission. I, Spencer Carlin, member of the Guild must kill Ashley Davies. The link to the destruction of mankind.