The Letter
The silence penetrated through the barren cabin with a potent force. So many emotions course through every fiber of my being after reading the dreadful letter, once, twice, three times. Frustration and embarrassment engulf me as I push the tear soaked envelop aside. I swore to myself a long time ago that I would never shed another tear for a man…not like this, not after what he did, to me, to my mother. Not even during those years of abuse by apathetic buffoons. I can't help but think that this time, it's different. He left me. He abandoned me like so many others have done, my father, my friends, my peers, even my mother, the day she became a prisoner to her own mind. He knew that, and yet he left me...just like they all leave me.
The anger that is welling up inside of me at this thought, my mentor, my father, my friend, the only mentally competent person that understood me best... left me. I'm angry, and confused, and the dread…the overwhelming sense of doom consumes me. This man, the champion for justice, one of the most dedicated people that I've encountered in all of my short life, reached a breaking point. He couldn't take it anymore. One of the strongest men I know couldn't take it anymore. What are my chances now? What are my chances without him? How will I withstand the turmoil that this job entails without his guidance, his advice, his subtle way of assuaging my eternal fear of mental uncertainty and mental incompetency? Who will tell me that everything will be okay? That I will be okay?
The grief is overwhelming, the concern is unbearable. Where did he go? Will I ever see him again? The man who taught me all that he could teach. The man, who took me under his wing, healed some of the gaping wounds of my virtually non existent childhood. The man who respected me, and insured that others did the same. The man who challenged me, who wasn't intimidated by the depths of my mind. The man who loved me unconditionally. My father… my friend…my mentor…my saving grace. I can't tell him how much he means to me. I can't tell him how my life is better because of him. I can't tell him how he made me a better person, merely from being in his great presence. I can't tell him that I need him, that I idolize him, that …that I love him. I can't tell him how much I want him to be okay, that we will never be the same without him. I can't tell him goodbye.
I have to wipe my tears now. I have to pull myself together. I need to tell the others…my coworkers…my friends…my family…minus one now.