I was just that girl to girl in the hall. Your best friend. You never thought that I saw you differently than that boy. I had hoped that the hello you said would turn our relationship around and still do. I saw that you looked at me when you thought no one was looking. I had a feeling that you liked me in that same way that I like you. Please, please, please tell me your feelings. I need to know if I'm wasting my time or if this relationship will work out the way I want it to. Please, please tell me and don't spare my feelings.
*****5 Months Later*****
Hey. How are you? I haven't seen you in forever. Why have you been avoiding me? I told you to tell me the truth didn't I? I didn't want you to spare my feelings. We were best friends, now we don't even talk. What's wrong? You just shake your head no. I take this as a rejection and, although I'm broken inside, I force a smile and nod. See? That wasn't so hard now was it? You shake your head again to speak, but before you can say anything, my mom calls to me, signaling that it's time to go to our new life, and it's time for me to leave. I wish you best of luck, and clutching your email address in my hand, I say goodbye. I turn to leave, trying to not look back but can't help myself from looking back at my old life anyway. 5 months go by. A few emails here and there, a few phone calls. We've drifted so far apart, we barely talk. We were best friends, now we don't even speak. You barely cross my mind at all. Sure, there are times when I wish you were here with me. Like on the first day of school, when everyone looked at me like I was crazy, or when I had no friends, at least I would have had you. But you don't even call to see how I was coping. Slowly, I made new friends, Jenny, Draco, Pansy, Mariah, Sara... they were there for me when you were not. I can't believe all this happened because I was honest. So, the first dance is approaching, and I have no one but my four girlfriends to go with... I know it was stupid, but some part of me held on to you, hoping you would come through. Then it happened. Not it so much as Draco. It started at his birthday party. We all went roller skating. Everything was fine, until Astoria came along. Apparently, she was Draco's girlfriend. When I saw her hand around Draco's arm, I was so green with envy, I could have given grass a run for its money. I couldn't make sense of it all. After all, I was never jealous of any of your girlfriends. So, I just put it to the back of my mind and kept on being happy. Of course, when Draco said he liked my present better than anyone's and hugged me in front of his girlfriend, I was ecstatic. Boy, do I wish I had gotten Astoria's face on camera. Then, after that day (and that hug) I started to notice things about him. Like, how when he'd find something really funny, he'd turn red, or that the bracelet he wears is his good luck charm, or that he looks really good in black, white, and blue. Then, it came. The breakup between Astoria and Draco. My god, I don't think I've been that happy since forever. Just in time for the fall dance too. After a week from the breakup, I'm brave enough to ask Draco to the dance. As friends, of course. At that dance, I got my first kiss. AND my first boyfriend. He's so sweet. He's a gentleman, he opens doors, holds my hand, and soon he knew me better than anyone, even you. So, when my mom announces that for winter break, we were going back to London, I was dreading it. Well, not London, but you. We hadn't spoken for so long, I thought you had forgotten I existed. So, on the day of the trip, as I told Draco goodbye, I could help but wonder what was going to happen.
****Winter Break****
I see you. You're the first one to hug me. For a moment, everything is back to the way it used to be. Then, I remember Draco. Even now, in your arms, I longed for him. You tell me how everything's been and how everyone's doing. We get to your house and all my friends scream "Welcome back!". I'm so happy I can't do anything. Except grin like an idiot. My old friends come to hug me and I feel loved. Soon, I'm dancing, laughing, chatting with everyone. As I break away from my friends to get some cake, you follow me. You ask how I'm doing. I say fine. There was a silence. I take the time to notice how you changed. You have grown a bit, now 5'9, you have some peach fuzz, your shirt is quite clingy to your chest and I can see all those new muscle from football. As I'm looking at you, I realize I'm not in love with you anymore. In fact, I feel grossed out just by the thought of kissing you. Then, I realize that the love that I had for you was one of that is one that someone has for their brother. You get my attention. You look nervous. I ask if something's bothering you. You nod and tell me everything. How you've always loved me, how when I left, you were trying to tell me that but were so nervous that you couldn't say anything, how the days after I left were torture to you, how you've tried to call me plenty of times, but you had no idea what to say, how you've never stopped loving me, how the image of me with someone else would kill you, and that's why you've mustered up the strength to tell me. I stand shocked, and then I need some time alone. I tell you this and you nod, I go outside to the balcony. I think about how my life could have been different if you had told me this from the beginning. I try to imagine life without Draco and can't. He's everything I've ever needed and more. I think about how, if you'd told me before, I would have lost Draco. Maybe, if we really are meant to be, I would have found Draco again. As these thoughts swirl in my head, I start to cry silent tears. Isn't your love what I've always wanted? No, I tell myself. If it was, I wouldn't have gone to Draco. Draco was there for me when you were not. As I wipe my tears, I go inside to find you. I spot you by the punch bowl. I walk over to you. I tell you that, although I'm flattered, I only love you like a brother. I tell you about Draco, how he's the missing piece to the puzzle of my heart. I tell you that I could never kiss you because you're like a brother to me. You look broken hearted. You say that you will always wait for me, in case I change my mind. I tell you not to because I know that I won't be able to change it. You say nothing and walk away.
**** School Starts Again****
I run off the bus and into his arms. I run into the arms of my best friend, the person who was and will always be there for me. I look up into the face of an angel. His gorgeous green eyes look down at me. He hasn't changed a bit. I missed him. He was my Saviour, my one and only. He asks me how I've been. I say fine. I tell him about what happened with you. At first, he looks pained, but when he finds out that I didn't feel the same way, he looks relieved and happy. As he walks with me and my mom back to our home, carrying my bags, I realize I could happily love him for the rest of my life. He'll always be my better half, the missing piece to the puzzle inside of me, my soul mate.
