Pairing: SamXxXFreddie

Warnings: Minor cussing & Sexual themes

Disclaimer: don't own nothing. I only own the plot.

Our All

His life was officially falling apart.

On a warm summer night, there he sat on the sand, writing nothing but one name in the ground below with his pointed finger. The name that would constantly fill his thoughts for over one week now. How this all came to be, he had tried to find out. But every time he would try to prove himself what was going on, the ocean would roll onto shore and wash away those three letters forever.

That is, until he wrote it again.

Do you know what it feels like to never show your fiancé how much you truly love her?

He looked up at where the horizon met with the ocean line. Every streak of light in the sky blended in so perfectly, as if painted by hand in its most detailed way. How it started off with a warm yellow on the bottom then turning into a dark blue, almost black, as it went higher into the heavens. The sun was setting and it captivated him in a mix of thoughts. All about one thing; her.

They've been together since high school - junior year, to be exact. They were more than sure by graduation that what they had with each other was true love and life just couldn't gotten any better. Freddie had sacrificed going to a small campus in the city with Sam instead of taking courses at NYU because he knew more than well that long distance relationships aren't so popular with turning out on good terms. So they never stayed away from each other. They were inseparable. There was the few bickering moments now and then, but nothing too deep to actually leave a scar. Maybe a scratch, but those were curable. Scars on the other hand, never went away. They stayed with you forever.

And he had a huge one. Not physically (partially) but emotionally and mentally.

It had been a few weeks after he proposed to Sam and it was freshmen year of college…

He shook his head quickly, trying to remove the memory from his mind. But as he looked out into the sea, and the cold shore came onto the sand and landed on the tips of his bare feet, certain memorable words echoed in his mind. Certain words he would prefer to forget- never remember.

"…where were you?…don't lie to me…you're lying…get out of this damn room…how could you…after everything…"

He ran his hand through his hair and let out a shaky breath. A week later she had called him up. They had talked, not yelling nor shouting, but actual talking. He had apologized for coming home so late that night, lied that he had just been caught up on some school work at the library. He even talked about how he had bought her one of the most beautiful rings in Seattle, which now laid on her ring finger. Surprisingly, she had accepted his apology and allowed him to move back in the next morning.

Freddie pulled on his hair as a cool breeze blew against his freezing toes, digging them into the sand below him.

"Hey." a familiar voice brought a chill to his spine. He pulled his hood over his head. He felt her sit down next to him. She brought her arm on top of her bent knees and laid against it and starred out into the water. They were both silent for a moment as the sound of the waves crashing against the rocks and the party behind them all colliding into one calming sound.

"They're about to build the fire." she tried speaking again. She looked over at him and saw him starring ahead, his dark brown hair blocking her view as he turned his head away from her. She clicked her tongue, giving up. He was acting weird all day and she was starting to get annoyed, "Hey," she put her hand on his shoulder. He closed his eyes slowly at her touch. It didn't tingle like it used to. The fire burned out… "Do you wanna talk about it?" she asked softly, rubbing his shoulder with her thumb.

"What is there to talk about?" he asked simply, like there really was no reason as to why he was acting so strange and deserted.

She took her hand off his arm and returned her attention to the horizon, "It's beautiful, isn't it?" He wanted to shout yes, but it would have nothing to do with the sky. Right now, he was just confused with what he was feeling and wanted to handle things on his own. Small talk wouldn't work. It never did.

It's not like anything would change this time.

"Why don't you go back to the party? It's much better than sitting here with me." He didn't mean to sound so harsh, but she thought otherwise as her eyes showed a tiny split of hurt. That was soon replaced with confidence as she strengthened her voice.

"No, why don't you come with me? You've been isolated all day, and I'm starting to get worried. If something happened--"

"Nothing happened." he caught her off sharply as he turned to stare at her. Her dark black hair moved in a slow motion as the wind came around them. He realized how he might've sounded insensitive. He didn't mean to be angry with her, he just was. And he didn't know why, "Carly, really. Nothing's wrong, I just don't feel well." he smiled sweetly at her, "Kay?" he placed his hand on her knee and rubbed it playfully, "No worries."

Believing him, she smiled back and hugged him tightly. Freddie was slightly taken aback at this act of affection but hugged back, "That's good. I almost thought you were about to commit suicide right there. You just look so sad lately."

Freddie looked over her shoulder at the two people walking happily hand in hand across the shore line. He quickly looked away when he thought he caught Sam get a glimpse of him, "Yeah…"was all he said.

Carly pulled away from him and teasingly shuffled his hair, "You look bored. Come on, lets go." she quickly grabbed his arm. She had a huge smile on her face as she pulled Freddie across the beach to their friends and family gathering.

"Are we gonna roast marshmallows?" he asked excitedly, spotting the fire.

"Duh!" Carly started laughing and he couldn't help but join in.

The bright fire crackled in the darkness as several close friends sat around laughing joyfully and chit chatting about where they were going to sit.

"Alright!" Spencer's voice echoed around the 'circle' which basically looked like a massacre of teens trying to get through each other's way, "Come on, sit!" He motioned his hand downward.

Freddie was about to make his way around the fire to sit next to Carly, when he caught a flash of blonde moving towards the small beach house, just a couple feet away.

"Freddie, you coming?" he looked back to see Carly patting the beach chair next to the one she was currently occupying. Freddie thought for a minute if he should sit down and just have a great time with everyone or follow Sam into the house.

"Yea, I have to talk to Sam first, alright?"

The guilt was eating him alive.

He saw her at the small buffet, sneaking a French Fry and pig-in-a-blanket in her mouth. He couldn't help but bite his bottom lips as he saw how tight that beautiful strapless summer dress fit her body. The baby blue and white strap just below her breast (which gave her extra cleavage and more 'bounce') looked like it was professionally made just for her use. Her natural blonde curls flowed down her back as she continued walking down the long table, making a stop at the chicken nuggets, her wet bare feet (which covered in sand) squeaked across the dry tiles. She looked amazing. And the one thing that stood out the most in her, which caused Freddie's smile to somewhat fade and be substituted by a discomforting frown was her diamond ring.

Taking a deep breath, he collected himself together and walked up to her. She fit perfectly in his arms as he wrapped them around her small torso, pressing her body against his and whispering in her ear, "Hey, demon."

She sucked in a soothing deep breathe and arched her neck into the crook of his neck and smiled, "Nub."

He took one of the golden strands of her hair between his fingers and began twirling it around, "Did I tell you that you look beautiful today?"

She gasped sarcastically, "Really? You only tell me every other day." he chuckled as she turned around to face him cupped his cheek, leaving him a quick peck on the lips, "Quit being so cheesy, will ya?" she tapped his cheek then turned back around to resume picking out delicious food. He looked at her in awe as she took a noodle from one of the dishes, tilted her head back, and dropped it into her mouth. When she brought her head back up, part of the noodle was still sticking out so she had to suck it in.

Freddie gave her a somewhat disgusted look and commented, "Do you need a napkin?" he eyed the sauce around the lips.

She swallowed then grabbed a small piece of her dress, brought her face closer to her hand, and quickly whipped it. Freddie gaped at this, "Of course you would be the girl to do such a thing to such a beautiful dress."

"Well I'm not like other girls."

Freddie felt himself heat up again…he felt hot and sweaty...guilty…fear.

"and don't be surprised if I get red wine on my wedding dress at the reception, either."

He shoved the feeling behind him and just decided to focus on her for a moment, "Wow, so you are going to wear a wedding dress to our wedding. I did not see that coming." he smirked at her as he followed behind her.

She turned and pointed a finger at him, "Well, that's only if you're lucky." Freddie raised an eyebrow, "Of course I'm going to wear a dress, Fredwierd. Well, at least you're smart enough to know I would choose not to, but you know Carly…Sam this is your special day, you have to look beautiful and stunning so Freddie can look at you like you're worth a million bucks..blah blah." Freddie laughed at her imitation of Freddie.

He moved up closer to her and asked, "She really said that?" Sam nodded, "Well…" he grabbed her hand and wrapped her hand in his, bringing her closer to him. He gasped…her blue eyes never failed to captivate him, "no matter what you wear…you'll always be worth a million bucks."

She chuckled, "You are really cheesy, you know that?" he moved in closer to her face, smiled, and nodded slowly. She smiled back and brought her hand behind his neck, and made little patterns there-making him squirm, "Well, then. If you're lucky…" her eyes drifted to his lips, "…on our honey moon…" she touched his lips with her fingers as she looked up into his eyes, "…be ready to be blown away, cause when I'm gonna be wearing what I'm going to be wearing," she left a soft lingering kiss on his lips and smiled, "I'll be priceless. Not even Bill Gates will match up the costs to what I'm worth."

Freddie bit his bottom lip and twirled another strand of her hair and smiled, "About our honeymoon…Cancun outta be fun, huh?"

She whispered against his lips, "So fun." her voice was seductive, and there was no doubt that the images running through both their minds at the moment was X-rated. She smirked at him then wrapped her arms around his waist. Freddie responded by doing the same to her and resting his chin on the top of her head.

She let out an exhausted sigh, "I know this will sound really…cliché and girly, but…" she rested her head against his chest, "I'm so glad we're going to be each others first."

Freddie's gaze fell as his hear beat began to drastically slow down.

"You know, once there was this guy, I forgot his name, and I was reading about him in a magazine in the waiting room when I went with Carly to the dentist, and he said that every time you sleep with a person, it's like giving your pedal away each time."

Freddie gulped and sucked in a deep breath, "…pedal?"

"Yea, you know," she lifted her head off his shoulder and looked up into his eyes, "if I were a flower."

Freddie reluctantly ran his right hand through her hair and stayed quiet, enjoying this moment while it lasted. Because after what he was about to tell her, this could be the last time where they were like this ever again before she killed him.

That was, if he didn't kill himself first.

So this will be a multi-chapter and it'll involve some really deep topics. You'll understand why by the next chapter or so. And the next chapter will include the flash back of what happened that night.