Oh god it's happening again. I scratched at my arms frantically, willing the itch to leave. This wasn't good. I had been sitting here thinking the same thing for about half an hour, and I didn't know how much longer I could keep myself together. Out my window I could see us approaching a truck stop. As we slowed to a stop I knew what I had to do. Really wishing I wasn't what I was, I got up and walked to the front of the bus. After all, I had to tell someone where I was going.

Gently, I shook Chloe's shoulder, desperately hoping she wouldn't ask to come with me, but also wishing she would. I had to admit, I was scared. The sweat was plastering down my hair, and sticking my clothing to the rest of me. Chloe's skin felt cold through her shirt, though I'm sure it was mostly because I was burning hot. Chloe woke and looked up at me sleepily. She locked eyes with me and hers became wide, as she shot out of her seat.

"You're--" At least I wouldn't have to explain.

"Yeah, we're outside Albany. Truck Stop. I gotta get off." She reached toward Simon, and I tightened my hand on her shoulder to stop her. "I wanted to tell you, in case I don't get back on. I'll be fine. I'll meet you at Andrew's." Of course, I wasn't sure I was going to be fine. Or that I would be able to meet them at Andrew's for that matter. Who knew how long it was going to take to change? If I missed the bus I might get there days afterward. If it was dangerous they would have to leave.

She picked up her extra layers. "I'm coming with you." I knew I should tell her not to, that, again, I would be fine. But I couldn't. Not only did I not want to, I didn't I have time to argue. I turned away from her, taking my hand off her shoulder.

"Yeah, Okay"

"You go ahead," she said, "I'll talk to--" She looked toward Simon, but before I could protest-- I couldn't have him come after as after all-- she went out of the isle and headed toward Tori instead. I followed her advice and went ahead, walking quickly, but not so fast that she couldn't catch up.

I could smell her when she joined me again. "I need to get in as deep as I can," I said to her, "Follow my path. It's muddy" My shoes were sticking in the mud, but I didn't notice much. Somewhere in the distance a dog barked. I paused, then continued after discovering the noise came from the opposite direction. I pictured it in my head, the dog. Then in my mind the dog became a wolf, snarling and growling...what if I...?

"If I finish it, If I seem even close to finishing you need to take off." I hoped she didn't hear the ever-rising panic in my voice. She said nothing. "Chloe.." I began. Oh god what if I did change? What if I ate her or something? What if I chased her down and ripped...

"You aren't going to turn into some bloodthirsty monster, Derek," she said, cutting off the thoughts, "It'll still be you, just as a wolf." That is what Dad said but...

"And you know that based on how much experience with werewolves?"

"Okay, but--"

"You could be right," I conceded, "Dad said it would be like that-- still me in wold form-- but after what those guys did? Playing with our genes? I have no idea what will happen. So you're getting out of here when the time comes or you aren't sticking around at all." I wasn't going to let her be eaten by me. I wanted her company but there was no way I was letting her stay here to be ripped to pieces.

"Okay."

"I mean it Chloe." I said, turning slightly to look at her, see if she was sincere. I did mean it, I would carry her back onto that bus and have Simon restrain her if that was what it took.

"So do I. You're right. We don't know what will happen, and we can't take any chances. As soon as you sprout fangs and a tail, I'll run screaming for the truck stop."

"You can skip the screaming part." Not that she might not end up running and screaming anyway...

"We'll see" The small joke reassured me. I was pretty sure she would go and that was enough to have me continue walking through the forest.

I slowed as I could barely see the lights of the parking lot. Not that I couldn't completely see everything anyway, but I wanted it light enough that Chloe would know when to run. Actually that gave me an idea. I scratched again as my muscles rippled beneath my skin.

"There's a log here, if you want to sit and wait. I'll get a little deeper in-- I'm sure it's not the prettiest sight." She should stay here. It would be safer that way.

"I've seen it before."

"If it goes further, it'll be worse."

"I'm fine." I didn't have it in me to push the issue. We went a little farther in, hopefully not so much that she couldn't see anymore. I stripped off my sweatshirt trying to cool myself a little. My muscles continued to ripple, and I felt as if I might burst. Literally.

"On second thought," said Chloe, "maybe I can't watch. Unless you brought a change of clothes, you really should get undressed this time." I had forgotten. Last time I popped out of my shirt. I hadn't brought any other clothes, so...

"Right. Hold on." I hurried into the brush and stripped down to my boxers. I knew I probably should stay here, but I really did want her support through this. When I came back she was turned away. "I'm decent, Got my shorts on." I said, "Nothing you haven't seen." I could see the very edge of her cheek turn red. Huh. Oh well, no time to analyze it. I dropped to my knees and got on all fours, dropping my head. I took deep breaths, trying to calm myself, to force myself not to panic as I could feel the change approaching.

"Sit here." My sweat shirt was on the ground next to me where I pointed, so she wouldn't get too muddy.

"Thanks." She said, kneeling onto it, making a slight squishing noise.

"If it gets to bad, go, I'll understand." I didn't want to force her to do anything. I was scared enough as it is. I didn't want to scare her too.

"I won't." She said. It calmed me, but also made me feel incredibly guilty, for waking her, for taking her off the bus. I could feel it about to begin. I dropped my head again. I closed my eyes bracing myself. I could feel my back shudder, and change, the bones sliding. I winced, squeezing my eyes together tighter. I gulped in the air, trying to cool myself, to stop what was going to happen.

"That's a good idea. Stretch and work it out-" she cut off mid-sentence. Was something wrong? Did something happen that I couldn't see? "Okay, I'll shut up now. You don't need a coach." I laughed, though it sounded a bit like a growl. She thought I cared about that? I didn't care what she was doing as long as she was here, and she was okay.

"Go ahead. Talk."

"If there's anything I can do-- I know there probably isn't, but..." The words tumbled from her mouth. She was worried about me. Honestly, I was more worried about becoming a monster and eating her than the actual changing process. It seemed to have paused though, so I wasn't exactly sure how I would feel once it actually started again.

"Just be here."

"That I can manage." She seemed to notice the pause as well. "And we might not even have to worry about it. It seems to be passing. False start, maybe. We should give it a few more minutes, then--" She rambled, though it sounded like more of a wish, than an actual assumption. She cut off as my back shot up, it felt as if it wanted to break the the skin, stretch up into the clouds. A cry escaped from my lips. When it stopped I counted. One Mississippi, Two Mississippi. Another spasm, bringing new pains with it. My back arched, trying to get higher than the clouds, to the moon, the stars...I whimpered lightly, as I tried to think around the agony. I tried to look at Chloe, to calm myself, but was caught by another convulsion. I would get through this...unless of course I didn't. I was pretty much a failed experiment. Maybe I would just naturally terminate.

My hands became talons, digging into the soil trying to find some relief. I could hear footsteps, in the distance. Heavy, probably a man. I accidentally let out another yell, digging further into the earth trying to find the power to keep quiet. Chloe's hand was suddenly on mine, feeling cool and soft. She whispered to me that it would be fine. I tried to concentrate on that and not the pain, the fear. The person came closer, breaking a twig as he stomped along.

"Are you kids in there?" I recognized the scent, and the voice. As I looked up I could actually see him. He had driven our bus. "Someone saw you kids head in here. You've got one minute to come out or the bus leaves." Oh god Chloe was going to be stranded too. I hadn't thought about that. Well crud. She had to leave.

"Go." I whispered to her, sounding more like an animal than myself.

"No."

"You should- "

"I'm not going," She said meeting my eyes, no hint of doubt in them. "Now shhh." I did.

"Ten seconds!" he yelled. "I'm not holding up the bus so you kids can screw around in the forest." In a low voice he added, "Darn teenagers." He would walk away soon

"If he comes any closer, you go in there." Chloe pointed to something but I wasn't paying attention. "I'll stop him."

"He won't" Sure enough he left right after.

"That's okay, I have money. We'll catch --" she cut off as another convulsion hit me. I could feel my palms begin to roughen. As I shuddered, I vomited, rather unhappy that Chloe had stuck around for this. I really didn't want to puke on her. Spasm after spasm hit me, causing me to lose everything I had eaten the past few days. My stomach burned and ached with the rest of my body. When I had nothing left to puke up I dry heaved, my throat feeling raw. Chloe moved her hands to my shoulder blades, where I could feel the fur rising and then receding. She whispered that I was doing fine, that everything would be alright. I could barely pay any attention to the words, but they helped all the same. The hair grew, and my bones slid and collided with one another. Finally the seemingly unnatural convulsions stopped and I shook from exhaustion. My head dropped within an inch of the ground. I was so tired I couldn't keep it up. I wasn't going any further, I could already tell. At least that meant it must be over soon. Chloe rubbed my shoulder, as I braced myself for reversal

"It's okay. You're doing great. You're almost there." If only she knew. I shook my head

"No." I tried to say it but I don't think my vocal cords were human enough for her to know what I said.

"That's fine," she said, still trying to reassure me, "You will or you won't you can't rush it." I nodded weakly. Panting, like the dog I was. I could feel my face change, stretch. I tried to keep her from seeing. As she rubbed between my shoulder blades I struggled to stay up on all fours.

"Do you want me to stop? Move away and give you more room?" she asked sounding worried. I shook my head. There was no need. I wasn't going to become a wolf. Either my body was going to go back to normal, or just...give up. I could feel my body changing, as if I was mutating. It felt like false hope. Some of the pain had faded. My body just couldn't continue this anymore. My shaking paused.

"It seems to have stopped again."

I nodded, not trusting myself to speak. I wasn't human enough for that.

"That's probably it, then. For now, this is as far as-- " Yeah I wish, I thought as I tightened my muscles, ready for them to become normal again. My spine shot up once more, cracking, popping. It felt as if it might snap. Something slipped from my lips, which was supposed to be a scream, but actually came out as a howl, and I was glad I hadn't spoken before. I could feel myself becoming the wolf inside of me. Or not...it felt wrong...it felt as if my body really was just going to give up. It couldn't take it any more. I was absolutely terrified, and I tried to ready myself for either my life to end, or to become an awful monster. Then the last wave hit me, I knew only one of those things could happen next...but neither did. I seemed to pop back into human form. I gagged, as my mouth tried to normal. Bile dripped from my cheeks, and I shook it off. I began to choke, as my body protested to becoming itself once again. It seemed like my face didn't want to be human. My arms shook beneath me...so tired of holding me up. And then they just...didn't. I plopped into the mud. I sighed heavily, eternally relieved I was still here, still breathing. My muscles ached as I turned onto my side, covering my face with my hand, as it reverted back to normal. Next to me, I could hear a faint clattering, which I soon recognized as Chloe's teeth chattering. When I listened closer I could hear her jacket rustling from her shivers. I took the hand not resting on my face and wrapped it around her ankle. It was cold as ice, so cold that it didn't even feel good against my feverish flesh.

"You're freezing."

"A little." I grasped her knee and pulled her in towards me, so that I was whipped with the frigid wind instead of her. She didn't deserve this, being stuck out in the freezing cold. Eventually though she did stop shivering and some of my guilt, or more accurate my disgust with myself, faded. I changed positions to hold her ankle again.

"How're you doing?" I asked her, voice strained because of my raw throat. After all, what she had seen, what I had been, wasn't really something the human mind is really supposed to be able to handle. Besides that, she had been sitting in the muddy woods, becoming an icicle, and residing right by bushes covered in puke. She giggled.

"I should be asking you that. Are you okay?"

"Yeah," Well, now I was, "That must be what'll happen for a few times. A partial Change, then back to normal." Not exactly something I was looking forward to, but not something that warranted her to worry about me. Right?

"Practice runs."

"I guess so." I lowered my hand so my eyes, now normal and safe to reveal, were showing. "You still didn't answer my question. Are you all right?"

"I didn't do anything."

"Yeah. You did." I looked up at her because I had no choice but to find out myself if she wouldn't answer my question. "You did a lot." I met her eyes. Searching them for a sign of distress. But they didn't appear to be anything wrong, her eyes looked...something. There was something in them that I couldn't identify, but at that moment I think we felt the same thing. Our eyes meeting had flipped some switch inside of me, it mad me warm, but not like the fever did. I felt...well I just don't know. Some anonymous thing just seemed to nestle inside of me. All to soon she turned away, looking into the forest, towards the truck stop. We would have to get a move on soon. I really wanted to get her totally out of the wind.

"Yeah, we gotta go," I said beginning to push myself up with my elbow.

"Not yet. Lie down. Rest." That sounded fantastic. But I was alright for a bit longer.

"I'm--" I sat upright and felt a wave of dizziness come over me, trees swaying and vision blurring. "--not fine. Okay. Just give me a sec." I lay back down in an attempt to ward off the dizziness. As soon as it went away I would get up and go back tot he truck station with her. I would go now if I thought I could walk properly, or that she would let me get up after she saw me sway. I fought to keep my eyes open, knowing that I couldn't sleep yet.

"Close your eyes," she said. I really wished she would stop suggesting such tempting things.

"Just for a minute." I would not sleep. We were going to get out of these woods tonight.

"Mmm-hmm" She murmured. I gave into their weight, letting the forest become a sheet of black. I didn't mean to sleep and I had hoped Chloe would wake me if I did, though I knew it had been a vain hope. Before I knew it there was sun all around me and Chloe was sitting up right by me, eyes open, but not moving. I sat up and was glad I felt like myself again. Chloe didn't respond. She had her knees clutched to her chest. I had expected her to say something to me. Maybe she just hadn't seen me. I walked up next to her, looking at her small figure below me, still unmoving.

"Do you want to head out to the truck stop now?" I asked her. No response. What was wrong? "Chloe?" Oh god, what had happened? I crouched down beside her and waved my hand in front of her eyes. The waves getting more frantic and quick as nothing happened. "Chloe?!" I whispered urgently. She whispered something back. It sounded like "Cheer up, sleepy Jean" I cocked my head confused.

"Chloe?" I asked again, genuinely panicked now. I put my fingers on her shoulder, hoping the contact might make some difference. Finally she responded, turning to face me.

"S-sorry. I drifted off." Okay...so she didn't know anything was wrong.

"With your eyes open? Sitting up? I've been trying to snap you out of it for awhile."

"Oh?" She looked around her and yawned looking sleepy. "Long night." That couldn't be good. She had been sitting here awake all night. What had happened? Oh. Oh. My fault again.

"You've been sitting here awake all night?" I let myself fall all the way to the ground. "Because of what happened with me? I know that couldn't have been easy to watch--"

"That's not why." She looked like she meant it too. But what else could have happened in the middle of the woods that would have had this effect on her? Even if it wasn't me, I was the reason she had been in the forest in the first place. What had I done? The self-hatred from last night came back ten-fold.