"I've forgotten what it's like to feel brave."
These were the words Roxas typed out onto the blank screen...He had a horrible habit of doing this. He would be listening to a song, and try to type along with the lyrics at the same pace as the vocalist.
He felt that if he could just, at least keep up with these words...he'd be able to keep up with their meaning, or even his own life.
Needless to say, the blonde wasn't able to keep up with the vocalist.
The song ended a moment later, only to start once again at the beginning, forever in repeat. Another habit of his. Listen to a song over and over, and over again until it was burned into his brain. Until he could listen to the song and type faster then the vocalist could sing.
Though, even then he could never keep the pace of the artist. Just like he could never keep up with the pace of his life. It felt as though everything was either passing too quickly, and moving so slowly that he just drowned himself in boredom.
It was like he didn't exist. Every day was passing him by and it was as though he never really lived in them. He couldn't grasp a single moment and extend it. The sad truth was, he had no moments worth grasping.
Roxas had always known what he had to do, just take a step out of that door, walk to the mall, walk up to somebody during school...and just talk to them. But he never did, he was the outcast on purpose, the loner on purpose.
Always living too fast to live in the moment, watching behind fogged, glassy eyes at the minutes, at the hours, the seconds, the months and the years as they passed him by.
Before he knew it, had had graduated. Before he knew it college had begun and still he had not one memory he could really call his own.
That is...Until Axel stepped into his life.
Roxas had always believed that you have to go out there and MAKE things happen. Happiness never just FALLS into your lap, life never makes an exception for you.
At least, that was what his mother always told him.
'Well guess what, mom?' he thought, with an almost bitter smile on his lips...
Life made an exception for him.
Axel was that random, weird ass exception that defied all logic, he was a freak of nature, really. With bright FLAMING red hair with spikes sharp enough to KILL a man...Green eyes that were downright BLINDING when reflected by the sun...
And an unlikable attitude that was enough to get him expelled from three elementary schools and two high schools before he learned to just SHUT his mouth around his teachers.
But somehow, they met. And the moment they did? The world stopped.
Time slowed, and Roxas was finally able to tell just where he was, what he was doing. He was finally able to breath at his own pace, and see the world for what it was.
Now, four months since the beginning of their relationship...Four months which, instead of feeling like four hours...really felt like four months Roxas was making a move.
He wasn't scared anymore, he didn't CARE anymore. The blonde pulled himself away from his computer, standing and clicking the 'close' button on the word document. Before turning off the computer entirely.
This was it. This was his moment. Two light knocks to his door and he knew this would be the end of his current, blur of a life.
"Come in." The blonde mumbled, searching his closet, ass in the air as dug around the floor.
"Now Rox, couldn't you be a little more subtle? If you want me to screw you, you don't have to go around with your ass in the air. A simple 'Please shove your dick in me Axel, you sexy beast' would do just nicely."
Roxas rolled his eyes harder then he ever had before, but couldn't help the grin that found it way to his lips. "Oh shut up, Axel. They'll be plenty of time for that in the apartment. Now, could you unplug my computer and put it in the box? I'm kind of busy here."
The redhead nodded, tying his hair back with a black hair tie. "Sure thing." He went to work on unplugging the computer, watching in his peripheral vision as Roxas gathered the rest of his clothing, and shoved them in a box, before violently duct taping it shut.
Soon, the computer was set inside a box as well. All that was left in the room was the small boom box, playing quietly, but not unnoticeable in the room.
"All my life I wish I broke mirrors instead of promises..."
Axel blinked a few times as he listened to the lyrics, before turning his gaze over to his lover. "I thought this was supposed to be a good day, huh? This song seems a bit gloomy for a happy occasion."
"Shut it, Ax. Just help me load this crap into the car."
Rolling his eyes, the redhead nodded, and together they managed to take all the boxes down in one trip. "Right." Spoke Axel, slamming the trunk of his car shut. "All that's left is the boom box, right?"
"Leave it." Roxas said as he got into the passengers seat. Axel poked his head through the open drivers side window. "You sure?" He asked, his breath viable in the cold.
"Yeah." Muttered the blonde, wrapping his jacket tighter around himself, "I don't need it anymore." Shrugging, the redhead got into the car, rolling up the windows and turning the key in the ignition.
The heater blared to life, and Roxas was instantly relieved. He watched from the window, his house which he never really lived in, his parents which he never really knew, watched them all stay the same while he finally moved on. Moved away.
And he couldn't have done it without Axel.
A rare smile came to the blonde's lips at this thought, and he leaned over, placing a sloppy, wet kiss on his lover's cheek. Axel only laughed, keeping his eyes on the road. "And what was that for? Other then complimenting my astonishingly good looks, of course."
Roxas laughed at this and leaned closer, his warm breath hitting Axel's ear as he said, "Because you make me feel brave."
-END-