"I'm too hot." Tony Stark says, a small smile gracing his lips as he lies across the sofa in the Avenger tower.
He and Thor were doing a competition of who could make Steve quote anything. Asgardian works and Howard Stark journal didn't count.
Tony had been blasting 'Uptown Funk' all day yesterday, forgoing a whole 12 hours without making anything because it was hard to concentrate with some guy practically mooing in his ear. (The beginning 50 seconds has a guy going Mrahhhhh)
Eventually he pissed Natasha off, and man that lady was terrifying when she was angry.
Steve looked over at him, actually looking up from his magazine about the Beatles.
He stood up, in his blue skin-tight suit. The guy literally never took it off. Walking over to the air conditioning unit he called over his shoulder, "About that music yesterday, it was annoying. The 'pop-drivel-shit' as Tash put it, doesn't really suit you."."
Tony stared at Steve, even after he sat down.
Okay he may have been born over a century ago, but there was a flask of the really strong Asgardian wine and no dishwashing duty for a month riding on this.
It was important.
And he would win.
Tony hadn't forgotten his plan the next day. Steve's friend, Bucky was at the tower.
They- well Steve mostly- had found him. They had been fighting yet another guy who was determined to rule the world, whatever, when Steve had been caught by surprise and knocked out. Just as the evil dude was about to shoot him, he was pumped full of bullets.
This time after saving Steve, he stuck around and gained his memories (Tony didn't want to know how, after Steve took Bucky to his room and suspicious noises were heard from across the tower the whole night)
He came around often, but was wary of the other Avengers.
As Tony walked from his lab, he overheard Bucky say: "I'm too hot."
Tony almost killed himself running to the bottom floor to hear Steve's reply.
Tony hurled himself into the main room, and Steve looked up to stare him dead in the eye.
"Hot damn."
And that is how Civil War is started.
How are you lot? Hope you enjoyed this useless crack piece of work, but hey.
Have a great weekend kiddos.
Fez.