A/N: In revisiting this old story, I am re-uploading in an attempt to fix the formatting. If you like it, please check out the continuation I am now posting: Discoveries.

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha. That right goes to Rumiko Takahashi, Viz, et. al.

o0o

Kagome stumbled through the woods, wiping the tears from her eyes as she just tried to get away.

"Why? Why did this have to happen now? In this place?"

They were too far from Kaede's village for Kagome to escape to the comfort of the well, and she was not about to run to Sango and ask for Kilala. She couldn't face anybody just then. She didn't know what she would do if she did.

Sniffling, she couldn't help but replay in her mind what had brought her to this point.

o0o

Inuyasha had been distant lately. Quiet. Kagome had been hopeful that the lack of fights between them was proof that their relationship was progressing. But that was before she realized that they weren't fighting because he wasn't talking.

"Kagome?" The others were at the campsite while Kagome enjoyed what she thought was a peaceful evening star gazing with the boy she loved.

"Yes, Inuyasha?" Kagome was laying on the grass, hands behind her head as she turned to look up at him seated a couple of feet away.

"There's…uh…something I need to tell you."

Something in his voice caused Kagome to sit up slowly as she trained her eyes on his face. "Yes?" The probing question came out just a little breathless.

Inuyasha heaved a heavy sigh and stood up to pace. Finally he turned to face her, fists clenched, legs slightly apart in a position remarkably similar to his battle stance. "Look, there ain't no easy way for me to do this other than to just tell ya." Pause. "Kagome, I've made my decision. We're days from defeating Naraku, and it's only fair that you know…that…I—I won't try to keep you here after he is defeated."

Kagome was slightly confused. This is what he had to tell her? "No, you won't have to, because… I want to stay here." There. Her feelings were out. Peeking up at his face through her bangs, she awaited his reaction, trying and failing to tamp down the spark of hope growing within her. She didn't have to wait long.

Inuyasha's face looked pained. "No, Kagome, you don't understand! I won't try to keep you here because I…I." Inuyasha huffed and crossed his arms, ever on the defensive. "Dammit, Kagome, I've made my choice. After this is over, I am going to go with Kikyo. Wish her back with the jewel."

Kagome sat in stunned silence, for once not knowing what to say. Inuyasha must have seen the hurt and disbelief in her eyes because he sank down to his knees beside her.

"I won't wish your soul into hers or anything. I'll just wish for her to have a normal body with her own soul. Yours will be returned to you." As if that was what she was really concerned about at the moment.

"But—but you protected me! You always came to get me in the future and I thought…" Kagome couldn't go on. She would not make a bigger fool out herself by exposing all of her feelings to him.

Inuyasha reached out to lightly touch her shoulder. "Kagome, I care about you. I really do. You've helped me in so many ways, your presence in my life has made the days so much easier to bear." When Kagome looked at him with more confusion, and a slight tinge of hope in her eyes, he rushed on. "But I can't be with you, Kagome. Kikyo is my first love. No matter how much I try, I can never forget her. And now that I have the chance to be with her again… I have to take it."

Kagome was beginning to sniffle, and she stood quickly to wipe her eyes. She would not cry in front of him. "I understand," she said in a numb voice, "I…I…" and before he could stop her, she turned and ran. She couldn't hold back the tears any longer.

"Kagome! Kagome, wait!"

Kagome ignored his calls as she ran as fast as her legs could carry her. She glanced up once to see Kikyo's shinidamachu floating in the distance. And she knew why Inuyasha didn't come after her.

o0o

Kagome sighed as she stood up from the tree stump she had been sitting on. Maybe if she kept walking, she could finally stop replaying Inuyasha's words through her mind, finally stop torturing herself with what she could have said to him, how she was such an idiot for missing all the obvious signs. How could I be so stupid? For so many years? Why did I hold out such hope when…when he never loved me? Unbidden, the sobs returned, but she fought them even as she fought the underbrush around her.

Suddenly she stumbled into a clearing and gasped when she saw a figure stand at her approach. Not really caring at the moment if this was some kind of demon, she simply stood there, tears streaming down her cheeks, and tried to choke down her sobs.

"Kagome-sama?" came the quiet voice.

Kagome's head snapped up, and she noticed the staff in the figure's hand, the billowing robes. "Miroku-sama?"

Knowing she couldn't back away now that she had been recognized, she hastily scrubbed her face with her sleeve to try and hide any traces of her tears as she walked towards him. "What are-" she coughed to clear her throat. "What are you doing here?"

"Nothing."

Surprised at such a response coming from Miroku, she stepped closer to him and peered up into his face. When he turned to look at her, she was shocked at what the moonlight revealed. His eyes… they looked…almost dead, but…she could see pain hiding in their depths. "Miroku-sama—what's wrong?"

Miroku turned to look back over the valley stretching out of sight below them, the night once again hiding his face in shadow. "Tell me, Kagome-sama, have you ever felt your dreams slip away between your fingers…or crushed like so many clods of dirt?"

Kagome could feel her throat close up again at the thought of what had just happened with Inuyasha, even as she tried to push away her own feelings and focus on the monk before her.

Miroku shook his head, and leaned it briefly against the top of his staff, making the rings tinkle slightly. "Of course not. Forgive, me, Kagome-sama. I should not burden you with my troubles."

"Miroku," Kagome reached out to place her hand on his forearm, as if physical contact could ease his pain. "Tell me."

Surprise at Kagome's drop of the honorific made him turn to look at her. Something in her eyes… a swirl of emotion…of pain? convinced him to talk. It may have just been a trick of the moonlight, but right now, he needed a friend to turn to, someone to understand. He turned to look back over the valley, unable to face those eyes any longer. "Sango is getting married."

"Why, Miroku-sama, that's—"

"To someone else."

Kagome's mouth gaped open at this news. "What?! When? Wha—"

Miroku heaved a heavy sigh, feeling burdened beyond belief. Perhaps talking to Kagome had not been such a great idea. She would want to question her friend first hand so they could talk and laugh and share girl stuff about when the wedding would be. But now that he had started talking, he couldn't not answer her questions. Better to get this over with.

"She is going to marry Lord Kuranosuke. They plan to marry as soon as Naraku is defeated. It is only a matter of time since you wounded him so severely in the last confrontation. Kanna and Kagura are gone, Kohaku is back, and he is going to lead us straight to Naraku. Sango will come with us to defeat him, then return with her brother to the lord where she will live out her days in comfort and peace."

Something about this little speech…the way he spoke in such a dead, unfeeling tone….Except for that last part. Pain and a little bit of bitterness slipped through when he spoke of her living the rest of her days with someone else. Kagome knew how he felt. What were the odds they would both get dumped on the same night? Their dreams, hopes, plans for the future, all shattering before their eyes, before stabbing them in the heart. Kagome made a choking sound in her throat, and felt, more than saw, Miroku turn to look at her. "You, too. You…we…both of us. On the same night." This time Kagome did see Miroku's look of confusion, and she shook her head at her own inability to speak. She took a deep breath. "Inuyasha left me. He is going to go with Kikyo when this is all over. He—" she couldn't go on any more, nor could she stop the tears that once again coursed down her face.

Miroku slowly reached out one arm to offer her a hug. Kagome flew into his embrace as she sobbed into his chest, not noticing when he dropped his staff to hold her more tightly against him. She wasn't aware of what she said as she cried, but she clutched his robes as tight as she could, pulling him into her in an attempt to stop the ache, to fill the hole in her chest where her heart and everything vital used to be. Feeling the wetness on the top of her head, she realized that Miroku was crying. Miroku, the wise one in the group who always had the answers and never appeared to be ruffled. He was hurting as much as she was. And for some reason that realization made her ache all the more. Now unsatisfied with the distance her arms caused between them, she flew her hands around his neck and raised on her toes to press her cheek to his, needing to feel that human contact and know she wasn't alone, needing to feel his warm skin on hers to reassure herself that she could still feel, and also needing to soothe the ache Miroku was feeling as keenly as her own.

Stretching, she ran one hand up through his hair, spreading her fingers to cradle his head, to soothe, while at the same time she pushed her other hand between his neck and his monk's robes, spreading her fingers until she felt his shoulder blade, needing to feel that warm connection with her palm that told her she was still alive, even if she felt like she was dying inside. She didn't even realize when she had started placing little kisses down his jaw and around his cheek. When she did, she pulled back slightly to look into his eyes. Her own were a tumultuous pool of stormy grays and blacks, the moonlight sparkling off the tears on her cheeks and pooling into her eyes. For once, Miroku didn't hide behind his stoic mask, all thoughts of the lechery he normally hid behind pushed aside. What Kagome saw in his eyes surprised her, but was expected at the same time. His eyes reflected her own. Hurt, confusion, emptiness all swirled in his gaze, but most of all, a growing sense of need. Without a second thought their lips crashed together, sucking, biting, moving rapidly as if to draw the other person's life force into their own. The ache and hollow feeling inside seemed to fade even as a sharper feeling of urgency began to overtake them as they pushed aside clothes in a desperate attempt to fill their emptiness while they could.

All of Kagome's hurts, present and past began to fade as she felt Miroku's hot skin on her own. She kissed and stroked, and in giving herself to him, to a man who accepted her, who reciprocated her touch and her feelings in this moment, all the pain from rejection, all the confusion and uncertainty that years of being second choice with Inuyasha, of living with unrequited love, slowly began to fade away. For Miroku, too, a deep emptiness inside was beginning to subside as Kagome panted, clung, and called out his name. He gave himself to her, for once reveling in the freedom of being completely honest, of not hiding his emotions, of being completely understood. His lechery was almost all an act, an attempt to amuse and distract those around him, even as he tried to distract himself from the fear his kazaana brought. He tried to fill the lonely hours with meaningless encounters and superficial comforts so that he could lie to himself and claim he was really living when it came his time to die.

As the aches caused by years of loneliness faded with the intensity of their passion, Miroku new that he would never be the same. Sure, he would try to act the same on the outside, but after this moment of absolute connection and understanding, of sharing mutual pain with Kagome and comforting that pain in each other, he realized that he could never be satisfied with anything less than a partner who understood him completely, who looked past his flaws, and reached out from her own pain to comfort his.

He also knew that the sun would rise in the morning to find them tangled together on the hillside, his robes under and partially around them, and that they would go on with their lives. There would be awkwardness and apologies, as well as blushes on both sides as they sneaked off to get dressed. They would tell their friends nothing and try to go on with their lives and the duty laid out before them. But for right now, in this moment, as the moon set, Miroku would take what he could get, and give whatever he could. To have this one moment of comfort… that was enough.