Hello World! So, this is a fanfic that has been lying around on my computer for a while, and I decided to get this up here to get it done! This is my first true romance story, which is a bit exciting and scary. Expect some angst in this story. This story is loosely based on "Creature Fear" by Bon Iver, which is where the title is from, too.
I'm planning on this story to be only written in Bella's POV, Edward's POV might pop up sometime during this story, but don't count on it. I like the mystery of writing in just on POV. I can promise that everything I take up will be answered in one way or another, and I can promise that everyone will have their fair share of issues to deal with. I will try to keep this story as realistic as possible, so no insane drama, or stilted dialogue if I can help it.
If you hate Jacob or Tanya, sucks to be you. I'm tired of Tanya being the bad girl, and Jacob being the enemy of Edward, so they won't be the bad people in this Edward/Bella story.
At the moment I'm in my last month of school, and then I'm working throughout summer, so I'll do my best with updates. Please please please review and say what you think because I'd really like to hear people's opinion of this story, good and bad (no bashing though, lol), and I'll do my best with getting back to you and updating!
TY for reading :)
I can swear in ten languages. It's not that hard. The thing is, though, that I don't usually swear. Mostly I just like to know the words. Then there were occasions like these, where I didn't seem to know enough of them to sum up my frustration of being sent far away from home the whole summer.
My parents had brought it up for the first time in April. At that time I hadn't thought much about it, they had talked about summer camps before, but I had always opted out of them, and there weren't any fuss about it. This time though, it wasn't a summer camp, it was the Cullen's beach house in southern California.
The Cullen family was the picture-perfect family, and were constantly on everyone's lips in the small town that was Forks.
They consisted of Carlisle Cullen, the retired and kindhearted doctor, and his loving and unbelievably charitable wife Esme Cullen. Their sons Edward and Emmett, that inherited both intelligence, goodwill and looks from their parents. Emmett moved on to do greater and bigger things in the cities, as did Edward for a while before he decided to settle down with his family in Forks, too.
Edward married Tanya, who was probably one the most beautiful women in the world, and eventually they had the three perfect daughters Alice, Irina and Kate. They continued to feed to the perfect image, and they really were.
Despite the fact that I rarely indulged in any conversations, or even eavesdropping, I knew that all that was said about the family were positive things. It was impossible not to like the Cullens.
I had only crossed paths a few times with Edward's daughters, mostly Alice since she was closest to me in age, whereas Irina was four years younger than me, and Kate was eight years younger.
Alice was a social butterfly, beautiful, graceful and everything I was not. Even before she started high school she was the most popular person there. Everyone wanted to be her friend, and Alice wanted to be everyone's friend. She even wanted to be my friend.
It was because of this I didn't want to go. If they weren't so friendly and eager, it would have been easy to fade into the background.
There was no hiding of the motive of why my parents insisted that I went. Somehow they believed that if I spent enough time with Alice, Alice's ways would rub off on me, and I would actually find a friend, or something.
If it only were that simple.
"What have you packed?" Mom asked, startling me as I was staring at my suitcase that was still empty. "Oh, Bella," mom looked down into the suitcase and sighed. "Can't you make a little effort?"
She turned towards my closet, and took out three shopping bags filled with summer clothes that I had no intention to wear, ever. I preferred my denim shorts, and my old and worn t-shirts, not frilly skirts, and cutesy shirts. If I wasn't spending my summer in California, I would have opted for jeans and long sleeved shirts, but now I was going, and I'd actually have to wear next to nothing.
"Have you even tried these on?" She picked a pink blouse up out of the bag. I decided that the question was rhetorical, so I turned to look down in my bag, again.
"I don't like clothes like that," I look up at her again. "They're not me…."
"Fine, ok, I'll take them back to the store, just pack something, we're leaving at 5 am tomorrow." Both of us turned to look at the clock. It was 9pm.
"Ok." And I started packing all of the summer clothes I had worn previous years, not really caring if they were too small for me. Maybe if I dressed like a slob they'd let me be, and wouldn't drag me around to those useless dinner parties that upper-class people are known to hold.
Then I was reminded of the credit card, and Alice's passion for shopping, and that Irina was on the road to become even more passionate about fashion than Alice. If that was possible.
Ever since I had faced my doom, and realized that there was no getting out of this nine week trip to California, I had tried to gather as much information about the Cullens as possible.
To be honest, it wasn't easy. It wasn't just because I was opposed to eavesdropping, and hated talking to people I didn't know, it was because there was basically no information about them. What people knew, I already knew.
They were wealthy, earned a lot more money than my parents did, and that was impressive. Edward owned his own business, no one really knew what he did, and Tanya owned a very popular beauty salon and spa in Seattle. Alice's real name was Mary Alice, after Edward's grandmother. Irina and Kate's names weren't actually that. They were Esther Irina, and Greta Kate, named after Tanya's distant relatives. But they had the decency to call their children by their middle names, which were far more common.
Other than that, besides their address, the location of their summer house, and a few of their interests - which weren't unique or interesting at all, really - there wasn't much else to find out about the Cullens. Which bothered me.
With every other family in town I could easily find out their exact income, their hopes and aspirations, a few skeletons that had fallen out of the closet. I could find out everything about their grandparents, their cousins, everything. But the Cullens had a freakishly clean reputation.
Mom came into my room again at half past ten, and peered into my suitcase. I was expecting the sigh that came a few seconds later, as she pulled up a band t-shirt I had bought when I was thirteen.
"This will be too small, Bella, have you even tried it on?" I snatched it out of her hand, and folded it neatly in the bag again.
"Yes, and it fit perfectly," I lied. I was a terrible liar, and my mom saw right through me, and shook her head.
"You have grown a lot since last year Bella, clothes that fit last year won't fit this year," she pointed to my chest area. Feeling my cheeks heat up, I folded my arms across my chest, in an attempt to hide my breasts.
I had expected my breasts to stop growing when I was fifteen, so when I went from an A cup to a C cup in less than 18 months, I almost had a melt down.
"I like that shirt, besides, I'm not going to wear it if we're going somewhere…." Feeling self-conscious, I closed the bag and walked into my bathroom, knowing my mom would follow me.
"Have you packed anything you can wear when you're going somewhere, then?" She leaned against the door way, and looked at me as I started to brush my hair. My hair was too long, the ends almost touched the top of my hips. No matter how many times I had begged my mom to let me cut it short, she had persuaded me to let it grow. I went to the hairdresser once every six weeks and cut off the tips, so that it would grow even longer. I bet that in California my hair was going to make me combust because of the heat.
"I've packed a few shirts, two skirts since you basically harassed me into taking them with me, even a dress…, I've packed a lot of things."
"Ok, I trust you… have you packed your tooth brush, face creams and all that?" She looked into my vanity bag, only to see that I had already packed everything in there. "What about your carry on?"
"Books, Ipod, money, passport, notepad, laptop, phone, camera," I said monotonously, rolling my eyes. "Don't worry, I have everything I need."
"Your birth control then?" Of course, I had to forget that.
Mom put me on birth control when I was fifteen, she said that she didn't want me to go through what she had gone through when she was sixteen. She was stupid as a teenager, had unprotected sex, and ended up pregnant. Too embarrassed to tell her parents, she went through with an abortion without telling anyone. It would have been a scandal if Renée Bryce, daughter of the richest man in town, had ended up a teen mom.
Though, I wasn't sexually active at all. I hardly masturbated, even. There were times, but they were few and far in between, usually after I'd seen a film where I found an actor in it particularly good looking, or after a steamy scene in a novel I was reading.
"I'm going to pack it tomorrow, after I take it," that seemed to appease her.
"Sounds good," she walked up to me and hugged me. "Good night, Bella, I'll wake you up at four, so you should go to bed now."
"Yeah, good night."
After she left I brushed my teeth, washed my face and changed into my pajamas. But I couldn't fall asleep.
The Cullens were already there, they'd been there a week. It was awkward coming later, probably ruining an already established routine.
I thought about Alice, and how different she was from me, how different her whole family was. My dad was a former sheriff, but decided to invest in his own security company, which took off pretty quick, and earned us a lot of money. But I hadn't grown up with this amount of money, it happened when I was eleven, and I've had a hard time taking in the fact that I am that rich, and not living in the middle class family I was born into.
Alice was born into wealth, she was sociable, trained in gymnastics and in dance. Whenever she walked down the hallway it was almost like she was dancing. I was extremely introverted, and I couldn't stand on one leg without falling over.
The last thing I remembered thinking before I finally fell asleep was that I wished I had Alice's life.
The flight to California was uneventful. I arrived to SeaTac at 8am, my mom insisted that we drove, so that we could spend a few last hours together, crammed in a car. Though neither of us felt particularly chatty that early in the morning, so we sat quietly while looking our of the window.
I checked in when I got there, and sat quietly reading by the gate, waiting for boarding to start. Sometimes I looked up at a momentary commotion caused by a lost couple or a small child that had fallen.
At 11am the plane took off.
I'd never been to LA before, or California. Usually I went with my parents to Florida to visit my grandparents, so the heat wasn't as new to me, though after spending a cold winter and a record cold spring in Forks, it was quite a shock to me when I walked off of the plane. Immediately I started peeling off my shirt, leaving me in my almost see-though white tank top. I couldn't do much about my jeans, so I rolled them up as far as they would go, and fanned myself with the hand that wasn't carrying my carry-on.
After I had gotten my luggage, I looked up and saw the amount of people arriving, and picking people up. I panicked, how was I supposed to find anyone in this crowd?
Maybe I should just sit down, I thought, eventually the crowd would disappear, and it would be easier to find them. It might take a few hours, but rather that then wander aimlessly through the throngs of people, causing us to walk past each other. They always tell you to stay put, it's easier for the person searching for you to find you then. But what if they were doing the same thing, and we all were just standing there waiting for each other?
I was pulled out of my thoughts as a small girl with black hair threw herself towards me and gave me a big hug. As soon as I realized what was happening I let out a big yelp. A second later I realized that the small person hugging me had to be Alice.
"I'm so sorry, Bella, I didn't mean to scare you," she apologized quickly as she let me go. "I'm just so excited that you're finally here!"
"Yeah, me too," I said breathlessly. I was unsure if I was lying or not. It was nice to be there after the long trip, but I'd rather be home, searching through the library to find a book to read.
"This summer is going to be so great, " she took my carry-on in one hand, and my hand in the other. "My uncle and his wife live only a few minutes away from us, and my uncle's wife's adopted younger brother, Jasper, lives there too, he's 18 and so hot, he's going to take us to parties and drive us around… I know you have a driver's license, but you don't have a car, and then in July grandpa and grandma are coming down for a week, and they're going to take us to these amazing restaurants, only the best people go there. And our neighbors Jessica and Angela, they're so cute, we're probably going to hang with them a lot."
We reached Alice's father, Edward Cullen. He was handsome, to say the least, most of the female population in Forks wished they were Tanya, with the exception of the women who were more attracted to women. There weren't so many openly gay men in Forks, but there was no doubt that even the closet gay men would come out if they found out they had the slightest shot at Edward Cullen.
Edward Cullen was hot, and being able to ogle him all summer might not be so bad. Discreetly, of course, since I wouldn't want to offend Alice.
"Hi, Mr. Cullen," I said awkwardly, and put down my suitcase on the ground. My hands were starting to hurt.
"It's nice that you're finally here, Bella, and please call me Edward, Mr Cullen is too formal for the summer." He smiled, and it was one of those smiles that you couldn't help but return one.
"Ok, let's go," Alice interrupted, and hurried out of the doors.
The ride to their beach house was filled with Alice telling me all about our plans for the summer, probably the edited version, since she didn't mention anything about the parties with Jasper.
I was told that her friends Jessica and Angela were born and bred here in California, and they had a huge group of friends, and I was going to love all of them, apparently. Tomorrow night we were going over to their house for a barbeque, where I would be introduced to all of their friends.
It sounded exhausting. I longed for this summer to be over.