Disclaimer: Not mine, no copyright intended
A/N: I'm posting this "work in progress" here before I post it elsewhere as its easier to keep track of. Not sure about the title, PM if you have suggestions.
This is set in the aftermath of series 5 - at least what I'm speculating as the series 5 finale from the various spoilers circulating. Therefore, if you don't want spoilers, don't read as some of the events referenced have been confirmed as happening or are in the very least based on my educated guesses. Abby/Connor, Abby/Matt
There would almost certainly be some scarring the doctor had said, but Abby didn't care. She was just relieved that both of them had made it back alive. She had no idea what had happened on the other side of the anomaly that Burton had created – Connor was yet to regain consciousness, and Matt simply wasn't talking about it.
She was sat on the edge of Connor's bed, a place she'd occupied for the last three days. Matt was in the bed opposite because Lester had insisted the pair of them were kept together. He said it was easier to keep tabs on who was treating them, and the fewer people that were involved the better. The causes of their condition were classified, and Abby had been briefed not to comment on the events leading up to their hospitalisation. Speculation around the hospital was that Matt and Connor were soldiers caught up in a chemical weapons test that went wrong – their burns couldn't have been caused by fire because their hair and clothes were untouched, so it had to be chemicals. Abby knew differently; their burns were caused by the sun in a world somewhere in our future; the future Matt had originally lived in and was trying to prevent.
Connor had been close to death when Matt dragged him back through the anomaly, the doctor said another ten minutes and he'd have been dead. He was suffering severe heat stroke as well as second degree burns to his face, arms and shoulders. She remembered the medics pushing her aside to insert a saline drip into his arm and attach an oxygen mask to his face before whisking him away into the back of one of the ARC's SUVs. She had turned to thank Matt for at least giving Connor a chance of survival, but he too had collapsed. Becker was at his side, yelling for a medic. All Abby could do was hope that Matt would be OK; Connor was her priority now.
Matt stirred in the bed opposite, then yelled out in pain. "Do you want the nurse?" Abby asked, concerned.
"I'm OK," he responded unconvincingly. "They'll just stick another needle in my arm, I'm beginning to feel like a pin cushion."
Abby smiled. She felt sorry for him. The only visitors he had had were Becker and Jess, and they were only brief – almost as if they were doing it out of duty and not because they were actually concerned. She glanced down at Connor and then decided to go and sit with Matt for a while – after all, he had saved Connor's life and she at least owed him a thank you. Pulling up the chair, she stroked his hair and gently kissed the top of his head.
"What was that for?"
"To say thank you for bringing Connor home safely." Abby blushed, then held Matt's hand.
"How's he doing?" Matt nodded over towards Connor. "I've heard things being said, but it seems impolite to listen too carefully."
"They're still treating him for the effects of heat stroke, although its probably a blessing he's still out of it, I think those burns will be painful."
"Tell me about it!" Matt laughed, then winced in pain.
Abby looked worried. "How are you doing? When are they going to let you go home?"
"The burns are healing and they say there shouldn't be much scarring as long as I keep applying the barrier cream and change the dressings regularly to stop infections getting into the raw skin. Unfortunately, they know I live on my own, so they won't let me out for a while yet." Abby looked puzzled. "I can't do it by myself, not properly anyway."
"Isn't there someone you could stay with? Anything would be better than having to stay in here longer than you need to."
"Who would I ask, Abby? I've lied to everyone I've met over the last 9 years; who would want me around now? I can see the looks in people's eyes – they don't trust me. Even Jess and Becker seemed guarded." Matt looked sad, the hurt in his eyes obvious.
"I trust you," Abby said firmly. "And I know Connor will too – you saved his life. If people have their doubts at the moment you can't really blame them, but they'll come around and realise that you had no choice."
"Thank you, that means a lot."
"If Connor wasn't so ill, I'd offer you a bed at ours until you were sorted." Abby could see Matt was in a great deal of discomfort, and he was being a typical man about it. If it had been a paper cut on his finger, he would have been making an incredible fuss, but a real injury that warranted proper care was dismissed. "You must be due more cream soon?"
"More prodding and poking," Matt sighed. "Sorry, just on a bit of a downer today."
"I'll say!" Abby stood up. "Look, why don't you let me do it for you? I've become a bit of an expert the last few days, they showed me how to apply it to Connor's burns for him."
Matt seemed to perk up at that suggestion. "You don't mind?"
"If the nurses'll allow it, then I don't mind. I'll try to be gentle!" She disappeared from the room for a few minutes, returning with a nurse carrying a stack of dressings and a large plastic container of the cream Matt needed to ease the pain from his burns and to protect the skin from infections. The nurse gave Abby some instructions and she nodded politely, having heard it all before. She waited until the nurse had left then perched herself on the edge of Matt's bed. "Strip!" she commanded with a grin on her face.
Matt raised his eyebrows then smiled back. "Since you asked so nicely..." He was only wearing a standard issue hospital gown anyway, so all he had to do was tug at the ties at the back and it practically fell away of its own accord. He blushed slightly and pulled his bed sheet up a little further, but then decided it was silly to be embarrassed – Abby had probably seen much more of him when he was first brought in and they'd had to cut his shirt from his body. Besides, having Abby tend to him was infinitely better than having some elderly nurse who just wanted to get it over and done with and on to her next patient.
Abby carefully peeled away the padding and bandaging over his neck and shoulders and his breath hitched. She thought she'd hurt him and apologised, then proceeded a little more tentatively. Matt's burns didn't seem as bad as Connor's, in fact there were signs in places that the skin was starting to close over and heal. In a week or so the physical wounds would be healed, but Abby knew from their chat that the emotional scars caused by the last few weeks would take much longer to heal.
She slowly worked the cream into his shoulder using her fingertips like the nurse had shown her. He felt soft and warm to her touch, and she could hear his breathing deepen. For a moment she closed her eyes and wished it was Connor she was touching. She missed him terribly; things had been strained between them for a while – she'd accused him of actually enjoying the attention creepy April was giving him, and she'd got angry with him over his seemingly blind devotion to Philip Burton. She now knew all of that was part of Burton's plan to drive a wedge between them and distance Connor from his friends and the ARC. She'd been feeling so alone these last few weeks and having physical contact with someone like this was making her heart ache for more. It would have to wait until Connor was well... If he ever woke up.
She was suddenly jolted out of her thoughts; Matt's hand was on hers, resting on his left shoulder. "You OK?" he whispered.
"I'm fine," Abby said, shaking herself. "Let's get these fresh bandages on." She began fastening the bandages over his neck and shoulders in silence, trying to shrug off her feeling of unease - Connor would wake up and he'd be driving her crazy before she knew it. She had to believe that. "Done!" she declared, and moved away. He'd nodded a silent 'thank you' and said he was going to try and get some sleep, so Abby decided she would go and find something to eat in the hospital canteen. She needed to get out of this room and clear her head.
-o-
The room was in near darkness when she returned. The nurses liked to dim the lights at night so the patients could sleep. Matt had pulled the privacy curtain around his bed and she could hear the steady, rhythmic sound of his breathing; he was sound asleep. Pulling the curtain around Connor's bed, she slipped off her boots and pulled back the sheet covering Connor's body. She was supposed to use the camp bed that the nurses had provided for her, but she hadn't even unfolded it. Instead, she slid under the sheet and curled herself next to Connor, circling her arm around his waist and resting her head on his chest.
The rise and fall of his chest and the soft sound of his breathing was usually a comfort, but not tonight. Whilst she could touch him; she craved the feel of his hands on her bare skin and his warmth surrounding her. She wanted him to hold her, stroke her hair and tell her it would all be OK like he'd done on those long hard nights when they'd been stranded millions of years from home. She couldn't hug him as tightly as she wanted; fearing she'd pull out one of the IV lines that were supplying much needed antibiotics and fluids to his tired and battered body. She couldn't even hold his hand because they'd also suffered burns of a different sort when he tried to destroy the anomaly machine to prevent Burton from using it.
"Abby?"
She lifted her head. At first she'd thought it was Connor, but the voice was more distant. It was Matt. Her cheek was wet with tears; she hadn't realised that she was crying. How loud had she been and had Matt heard her?
"Abby?" he said again, a little closer this time. When she sat up properly, she could make out his silhouette through the curtain. He was out of bed and standing just the other side of it; she'd obviously woken him from the sleep he desperately needed.
"I'm sorry," she called out, sliding herself out of the bed and peering around the curtain. She didn't see the point in trying to hide her tears from him now, and when she saw him looking so concerned she couldn't hold back anyway. Before she could argue about it, his arms folded around her trembling body and pulled her close to his chest. She melted into his embrace, letting her tears flow freely and he just held her. She felt safe and comfortable in his arms, and she realised just how much she needed this. When his fingers slid into her hair and she felt his warm breath on her face, she fought an overwhelming urge to close the gap between them and kiss him – when she thought about it later, she had no idea where that had come from and tried to dismiss it as a knee-jerk reaction to all the emotion she was letting out.
"It'll be OK, Abby," he soothed. Those were the words she needed to hear, even though it wasn't Connor saying them. "Sometimes we forget how hard stuff like this is on those waiting around for their loved one to wake up." Abby could only nod; her throat felt as if it had closed off and even trying to swallow back her tears was difficult.
They stood there for ten, maybe fifteen minutes in silence, save for the sounds of Abby's sobbing which eventually quietened. When he finally released his hold, Abby felt the loss immediately and didn't want to let go of him. He leaned forward, kissed her forehead lightly then broke their connection completely.
"Both of us should get some sleep," he whispered. "You'll be no good to Connor if you make yourself ill."
Somehow, Abby managed to find her voice and squeaked out a "thank you" and "goodnight". She watched Matt disappear through his curtain and waited until she heard the creak of his bed before she went back through Connor's curtain and climbed into bed beside him again. She felt a little more positive now; she wasn't alone.
-o-
"I thought you might like something to read," Jess said, sounding far too cheery in Abby's opinion. She placed a pile of magazines on the cabinet next to Connor's bed. Jess meant well and Abby did appreciate the fact that she'd brought her some clean clothes from the flat, but sometimes she could be a little too intense for Abby's liking. "I'll take your dirty clothes home and put them in the washing machine for you if you like."
"There's really no need, Jess, but thank you. I don't want to leave Connor for more than a few minutes until he wakes up. I don't want him to come around and think we've abandoned him."
"I like to be useful, Abby." Jess turned to Matt. "Is there anything I can get for you? I could ask Becker to..."
"The hospital has provided me with everything I need, but thanks for the thought."
Abby noted with sadness that Jess seemed unable to make eye contact with Matt, and she wondered how the rest of the staff at the ARC felt about Matt's revelations. He'd already expressed his worry that people wouldn't trust him now. It was also beginning to occur to her that there might be some that felt Connor shouldn't be trusted either – after all it was his research that led to the development of the machine that made anomalies, and it was that machine that would've destroyed the earth. Connor would probably be blaming himself too. Abby was certainly going to have her work cut out for her persuading both men that neither of them need be ashamed of what they'd done. Neither had an evil bone in their body and both had set out with the best intentions.
After Jess had left, Matt sat up in his bed. "So, is there anything worth looking at in that pile?" He nodded to the magazines. Abby picked them up and flicked through; there were a couple of Connor's Sci-Fi magazines that he'd probably left lying around the flat but the rest were Jess's magazines. Abby passed the whole lot to Matt. "Oh, goody! 'New Woman'," Matt mocked.
"Hey, you might actually learn something!" Abby teased.
"I'll have you know that I am very much in touch with my feminine side, thank you very much!" he laughed. It was nice to see him smile, Abby decided. He'd seemed very down yesterday; as had she, but their hug last night seemed to have helped both of them.
She watched Matt for a few moments with amusement. He was flipping through the pages, wide-eyed and with a hint of disbelief on his face. She should go and shower, change into some clean clothes and go and get a coffee to wake herself up properly, but she was intrigued as to whether Matt would actually read the magazine. He'd settled on an article and Abby craned her neck to try and see what it was, but he was holding the magazine at an angle that prevented her from seeing. Giving up, she grabbed her toiletry bag and towel.
She felt Matt's eyes on her as she picked out a clean t-shirt and some jeans from the bag of clothes Jess had brought in. "Abby? About last night..." he began.
"Thank you for that."
"Come and sit with me." Matt put the magazine aside and indicated the space at the side of the bed. Abby put her things down and walked over, perching herself on the edge of his bed. "Did you feel it too?" he whispered. "Something connected with us yesterday, and I know you love Connor but..."
Abby knew what he meant; she had felt something now that she thought about it, but surely it was down to her feeling lonely and missing Connor? "Yes, I do love Connor, and when he's well again I'm going to work hard at mending the cracks in our relationship."
"Those cracks were caused by Burton. Now that he's out of the picture, you and Connor will be stronger than you ever were." Matt dipped his head, and Abby noticed him swallowing nervously. "I don't expect you to act on it, but I need you to know how I feel; I'm tired of hiding things."
Abby suddenly realised what he was trying to tell her, it all made sense now. When she was applying the cream to his burns yesterday he'd hitched his breath. She hadn't hurt him at all, he liked her touching him. Then their hug last night; it seemed she wasn't the only one that had to fight the urge to cross over a line. Come to think of it, it wasn't just last night she'd felt it. They'd been working together pretty closely the last couple of months; Connor had been spending more and more time on his project for Burton and she'd found herself not wanting to go home alone. Matt had been a good listener, and in return she'd felt an empathy for him once she'd worked out he was not from this time - she knew exactly how it felt to live so far from home; although he was here by choice. Abby had assumed from their discussions that he'd had feelings for Emily and that he'd had to push them aside when she decided to stay in her own time with her husband.
Maybe it was a case of her being there at the right moment when he needed it and a case of him being there when she needed it, but something hung in the air between them. The tension was so thick, Abby felt she could almost reach out and grasp it. Then it happened. Their lips crushed together and they pulled each other into a tangle of arms, sighing breathlessly into each other's mouths. His fingers threaded into her hair, and she pressed herself cautiously into his chest; fearful she'd hurt him but at the same time desperate to be closer and feel his warmth.
The tip of his tongue pressed into her lips, urging them apart so he could taste her. She responded by allowing her tongue to dance with his; her head spinning and her heart racing. It felt like an eternity since she'd been kissed like this and it felt like nothing else mattered except this moment.
The guilt only hit Abby after their lips parted. Both were breathing hard and she could feel her body tingling with arousal; she had to get out of this situation before it went any further and they'd both regret it. She turned without a word, grabbed her toiletry bag again and bolted for the door as fast as she could.
-o-
The "Family suite" in the hospital was a safe haven for patient's relatives who, like Abby, were staying at the hospital. There was a bathroom and a kitchen where they could make tea and coffee or heat up some food in the microwave, and there was a lounge area with a TV where they could just switch off for a few minutes or chat with the others for some much needed support. As Abby entered, there was a woman sat curled up on the sofa. The TV was on but she was just staring at it. Abby recognised her; they'd spoken a few days ago after the first night that Connor and Matt had been brought in. Her daughter was dying from Cancer, it would only be a matter of days they'd said.
The woman forced a smile at Abby, and Abby acknowledged with a nod. It jolted her back to reality and gave her some perspective back; things may look a little bleak right now but there were definitely worse situations to be in. There were no excuses for what she'd just done; this woman here wasn't cheating on her husband just because she felt a bit sorry for herself. It made Abby feel sick to the stomach that she'd allowed herself to be so weak – it must never happen again.
She had thought a shower would refresh her, but the sensation of the warm water on her skin only heightened her arousal. There was no way she could go back into Connor and Matt's room feeling like this, so she had to deal with it in her own way. She slid a couple of well-practised fingers into her aching core and brought about her release easily within just a couple of minutes. Her knees buckled beneath her and she was left gasping; there was no satisfaction but at least she had some relief. Straightening herself up she washed away the dirt; both the actual dirt on her body and the dirt she felt for having betrayed Connor's trust.
Cleansed and dressed in clean clothes, Abby felt ready to face Matt again. He was probably feeling as embarrassed as she was and she hoped there wouldn't be any awkwardness between them now. She went into the kitchen and turned on the kettle, ready to make herself some much needed coffee and leaned against the counter. She heard voices in the lounge and peered through the door; a nurse was talking to the woman on the sofa and then she moved towards the kitchen. "Miss Maitland?"
Abby's heart skipped a beat. "Yes?"
"Your boyfriend's starting to wake up and he's asking for you."
The coffee could wait, and any thoughts of awkwardness with Matt evaporated. There was now only one thing on Abby's mind.
-o-
"You had us worried for a while," Abby smiled, stroking Connor's cheek. He gazed up at her with his big, chocolate brown eyes.
"Sorry," he managed to rasp. He smiled and Abby leaned over and kissed him gently on his lips. It felt so good to finally feel his warmth, and when he responded by kissing her back and trying to wrap his arms around her, Abby almost melted. "Hurts," he winced.
"It's OK." Abby pulled away reluctantly. She would have to wait a little longer for the full on contact with him she craved, but that didn't matter. The main thing was that he was on the mend. The privacy curtain was still around his bed; Abby hadn't pulled it open after the doctor had examined Connor. She wanted just a few minutes alone with him so that he knew things between them were still good.
"I tried to stop him, Abby." Connor's face twisted and a tear fell down his cheek.
"You did; you and Matt. Burton's gone for good."
"If I'd known what he had planned, I would never..."
Abby put her finger to his lips. "Shh. None of that matters now. Just concentrate on what the doctor said and worry about getting well again. I want you home as soon as possible."
"Is Matt OK? The last thing I remember is..."
"He's fine, and just on the other side of that curtain. Lester insisted that you were both treated by the same doctor to keep as few people involved as possible."
Connor nodded then closed his eyes. Abby was disappointed, but the doctor had warned her that he would be very tired for a while. She felt considerably more positive than she had done earlier this morning, and the fact he was now just sleeping and not unconscious was comforting. Maybe she should call in at the ARC and update them on both Connor's and Matt's conditions? She scribbled a note for Connor, telling him where she was going and that she loved him, and tucked it into the bandage on his right hand so that he'd easily find it when he woke up.
She was relieved that Matt's curtain was also pulled around his bed; she really didn't want to face him right now and she was guessing he felt the same. Either that or he was just giving her and Connor some privacy. Glancing around the room, she then left. It would be the first time she'd left the hospital since she'd come in with Connor and Matt four nights ago and it was a huge relief.
-o-
It used to feel like a second home, but the moment she walked into the main hub of the ARC, Abby felt uneasy. There was a strange calm about the place which was unusual – normally at this time of day there would be a swarm of activity. Jess was at her usual spot, frowning at the computer screen in front of her and typing away furiously, but there was no-one else to be seen.
"Where is everyone, Jess?"
Jess swivelled around in her chair. "Oh, hi Abby! I didn't expect to see you here!"
"Thought I'd come and let everyone know that Connor regained consciousness earlier."
Jess jumped out of her chair and hugged Abby. "That's brilliant news! He's going to be OK? No side effects or anything?"
Abby peeled herself out of Jess's embrace. "He'll be fine, might just have a few scars as we already knew but otherwise... Why is it so quiet in here, Jess?"
Jess lowered her voice. "We're under investigation – or at least, Matt and Connor are, and Prospero."
Abby shook her head and stared at Jess; had she just heard her correctly? Matt and Connor were under investigation? "By who?"
Before Jess could answer, Lester appeared in the doorway of his office. "The Home Office," he said. Abby looked up at him questioningly. "It's good to see you, Abby. You'd better come up and I'll update you on what's been happening here."
Abby exchanged glances with Jess, who slunk back to her chair silently. Abby slowly climbed the stairs up to Lester's office, her heart pounding and a slight feeling of nausea in her stomach. "Why are they being investigated?" she demanded as soon as he was inside.
"Take a seat, Abby," Lester sighed, his voice softening. "The Minister requested a full investigation into what happened. After the whole débâcle over Leek, there were supposed to be stricter checks on new employees, so he wants to know how the fact Philip Burton knew Helen Cutter was missed and how he and Connor were able to conduct secret research right under our noses."
"Hang on! Connor's innocent in all of this!" Abby protested. "Burton manipulated him and..."
"I'm afraid I can't discuss the details with you. It's out of my hands now. The Minister has ordered all of Burton's and Connor's computer equipment to be brought to his team for scrutiny and every piece of equipment Connor was working on as well."
"What about Matt? Surely the Minister will see that what he did actually saved the world?"
"He lied his way into the job, Abby. Every single piece of identification he presented was fake; his passport, his birth certificate... " Lester leaned back slightly and pinched the bridge of his nose between his fingertips. "If Connor and Matt weren't on sick leave, they would be suspended from duties pending the result of the inquiry."
Abby couldn't listen to any more. She stormed out of the office, slamming the door behind her to make a point and then slumped against the wall. She couldn't decide if she should be angry or upset; of all the people she thought she could count on it was Lester. Why wasn't he arguing the case for Connor and Matt? He'd been there when Matt exposed Burton's project; he'd seen the photo of London lying in charred ruins that Matt had shown her weeks before, and he'd stood and watched as Connor chased Burton through the anomaly determined to try and put right what he'd done wrong.
She found herself getting into the lift to go to Connor's lab; it was almost like she was on auto-pilot. Standing in the doorway, her heart sank and she felt sick right in the pit of her stomach. Everything was gone; his computers, the various electronics and half-finished gadgets that were usually strewn about the place, his drawings and endless reams of paper with scribbled calculations on and all of his books and folders. Some of that work went back as far as the days when they were squashed in a tiny office at the Home Office. The room was an empty shell and the sound of her breathing seemed to echo around its walls.
The door to Connor's cupboard at the back of the room was slightly open, and even from the doorway Abby could see that it was empty. "Bastards!" Abby spat. That cupboard contained his personal belongings; what could they possibly hope to gain from taking his change of clothes, his ipod and... oh god, surely they hadn't? She rushed over and flung open the cupboard properly; yes they had! She'd teased him about the fact he had photos of her stuck inside the cupboard like a teenager at high school, but secretly she thought it was rather sweet. She hoped the Minister and his cronies could sleep easily at night.
Glancing at her watch, she decided she should be getting back to the hospital. It had been two hours since she'd left and Connor would probably be awake again now. How did she tell him what was happening to his beloved work? And Matt, what did she tell him as well? They both deserved to know the truth, but it would probably devastate them.