1 Yu Yu Hakusho 4378
1.1 Chapter 1 Here We Go A Campin'
By pan-chan (Credit to reihino576, N-chan, and C-chan too!)
Thanks to N-chan, I have once again decided to start another fan fic while typing my long one. This story is actually partially written out. I do not own any of the Yu Yu Hakusho characters from the first series, but I do own all the new ones except Yutan (since I created everyone cept him). This is supposed to take place after the series, no duh, and is basically just a weird continuation of it. Now for the characters! Kieima is the cute little three eyed youko and she is the fighter of the group. She can get anyone to do anything and she gets expelled from school constantly. She has long black hair, white ears and a white fluffy tail, green eyes, two little fangs, sharp claws, a third eye, a dark dragon, and she usually wears a headband around her forehead, a pair of white pants and a white long sleeve shirt, a dress-type thing over it that has a rose on the front and two sun flowers on the hip, and a belt. She is the daughter of Kurama and Hiei. Yutan is the gay cross-dresser of the group. He rides around on a broom and always wears a dress (in my drawings of him he has pants underneath). He has teal hair which he pulls back into a ponytail and big blue eyes. On the front of his dress he has a heart. He wears two bows, one on his head and one on his back. He is a real idiot and hasn't been to a day of school in his life. He is passed constantly to Hiei and Kurama for babysitting. They weren't sure who his parents were, but now they are sure that they are Botan and Yuusuke. Botan raised him first, before she found out who his father was, and she raised him like a girl. Kukina is the chicken of the group. His dream is to be just like Hiei and marry Kieima...once he gets over his fear of her that is. He looks just like Hiei besides the added hair around his ears. He is constantly drawing a dark dragon on his arm and got a third eye so he could be just like his idol. He can barely fight and is afraid of everything, and I mean everything! The reason for that though is because he was a very abused child and hit with lots of objects are beaten with them in some other way. He has some brains, he just doesn't use them. His parents are Yukina and Kuwabara. Koenma II is the brains in the group. The two is added to his name for lack of better combination of his parents names. Just like his father, he always has a pacifier with him, in fact he almost looks like him. He also has added hair around his ears. He can't fight at all, but he can tell his friends ways to win...if they were their parents. He is Yutan's love, but the feeling isn't mutual. He is usually doing paperwork and can hardly be a kid. He is the son of Koenma and Keiko. There! That's all I need for a disclaimer! Wow...this is my longest disclaimer ever...it's almost a page long...well, before I start the story I would just like to tell you a little about Kieima's past and her third eye. She was born with a third eye, which wasn't supposed to be possible since Hiei had it added later in his life. Hiei used to try to kill her before she was born and even a few times after. Kurama used to save her a lot, either that or her and Yutan would tie him to a chair and color him in with markers...ahem...but that's another fic I'm working on. There! I'm almost positive that's everything you need to know. If you have any other questions, e-mail me! Thank you and enjoy this crazy series!
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Kieima sighed as she trudged along the sidewalk. She hated the city and all the stupid ningens that lived there. She growled under her breath.
"Hey, hey! What's up!?" Yutan asked as he appeared out of nowhere and flew down to even himself with Kieima.
"I got expelled from school...again..." Kieima replied. She pushed her soft black hair away from her eyes and glared at some innocent bystanders who were staring at the little youko and the cross dresser on a broom.
Yutan laughed and zoomed high in the air, "I'll come with you! Afterwards, let's go scare some ningens at the park!"
"Yeah!"
-
"Hiei-puu...I think there's something wrong with Kieima..." Kurama trailed off as he sliced a piece of meat into even pieces.
"Really? I would have never guessed. She is the daughter of two men for starters, she always stays in her youko form, she's very violent, and she has already gotten expelled from five schools! Need I say more?" Hiei replied as he stood up and stretched.
"Oh, and I wonder what side of the family she inherits her violent ways from."
"Hey..."
"Besides, that wasn't what I meant! I was talking about her mood changes...it used to happen only at home, but just the other day I took her shopping and she suddenly dropped the bag she was carrying and whispered, 'I can see the darkness...it's very near...' then she screamed and took off down the street!"
"I think she was just trying to get out of carrying groceries."
"She's not lazy, unlike you."
"Hey! What's that supposed to mean!?"
"Nothing really..."
"Well, Kieima sure was born under the most unusual circumstances...you think I didn't have a reason for all those attempts on her life? A third eye is not supposed to be passed down through heritage, yet she has one..."
"If that's true, why haven't you tried to kill her for quite some time?"
"...I have my reasons..."
"Oh? I just don't thing you could live with the guilt. You truly do think of her as your daughter!"
"Oh, just shut up and make dinner."
"I'm home!" Kieima shouted as she threw the door open and ran inside. She handed Kurama the paper from the school board, "I'm going out! See you later!"
"Bye, dear," Kurama replied as he read the paper and handed it to Hiei. Hiei growled slightly. Kurama gave him a look as if to say , 'Hey! At least she tries to go to school!' Hiei grumbled miserably.
"I promise to be back before dinner!" Kieima stated as she threw her book bag down next to Hiei on the couch. She kissed him on the forehead and hugged Kurama before she ran out.
"So how did it go?" Yutan asked as Kieima shut the door.
"I'll get scolded by mommy for later, but for right now, let's go create some fear in those ningens hearts!" Kieima shouted as she punched her hand against the wall and left a hole, "Oops...hurry! Let's go!"
Kieima hurried down the flight of stairs, Yutan racing after her on his broom. She threw the door open and ran outside. Unfortunately Yutan wasn't fast enough and it slammed in his face.
Kieima laughed and took off again. Yutan threw the door open and followed after her. After about five minutes of running, Kieima slowed to a walk and Yutan caught up with her.
"Yutan, do you think I'm weird?" Kieima asked suddenly.
"Yutan gave her a confused look and replied, "Not at all! Hell yeah you're a little different then the ningens, but that doesn't bother me. If anything, asking that makes me think you're weird..."
"Alright!...Look! I can see the park!" Kieima replied as she took off running once more.
"Please...wait!" Yutan cried as he flew after her.
"Where is everybody?" Yutan asked when he reached Kieima's side. The park was deserted and empty. Not even a bird chirped nor a leaf blow.
"Do you feel that?" Kieima asked as she cautiously glanced around.
"Not really...Is someone groping my butt?" Yutan asked as he looked behind him.
"I smell a youkai..."
"Kukina perhaps?"
"Isn't he still on vacation? It's different from his anyways...huh? It's gone..."
"Hello, everyone!" Koenma II said as he popped out of the sky and landed on Yutan, knocking him to the ground.
"Oh, Koenma! I never knew you felt that way!" Yutan said happily as he got hearts in his eyes. Koenma II stuck out his tongue in disgust and scrambled away.
"Wait! Where are you going, Koenma-darling!" Yutan cried as he chased after Koenma II with his arms out stretched. Kieima laughed.
"Oh, Kieima-chan!" Kukina said as he glomped onto Kieima.
"Get off of me before I have to kill you..." Kieima growled. Kukina yelped and jumped away, slamming into a nearby tree.
"Looks like the whole shrimp patrol is here..." Hiei muttered as him and Kurama entered the park.
"Like you should talk, daddy! I'm almost taller than you!" Kieima teased as she stuck her tongue out. Hiei just glared.
"Now, now, Kieima dear. Please don't tease your father," Kurama said in a motherly tone.
"Yes, mommy..." Kieima replied.
"Good...I brought you guys some food," Kurama stated as he held up a picnic basket.
"Yeay! Food!" the four children cheered, "Thank you!"
"Good-bye! Have fun and behave yourselves!" Kurama said as him and Hiei walked off.
Kieima set the basket down and pulled the cloth off of it.
"Rice balls!" Yutan cheered as he picked up a rice ball and began eating it. Soon the group had emptied the basket.
Kieima burped slightly and yawned, "That was so yummy!"
Yutan rolled on his back and burped in agreement.
"Now for the reason I came, Koenma II stated as he stood up.
"You mean you had a reason to come here?" Kukina asked in a confused tone.
"Yes...I have to go on a mission...and Kieima, I need your help!" Koenma II said.
"What about us!?" Yutan and Kukina shouted in unison.
"What about you? Kieima...please train me!" Koenma II said as he bowed.
"Us, too! Don't leave us out!" Yutan and Kukina cried in unison.
"Oh, you guys want training, eh?" Kieima asked with an evil grin on her face.
The three boys gulped and nodded.
"Then pack your bags and be hear at dawn!" Kieima shouted.
-
"Where is she!?" Koenma II shouted angrily as he watched the sun.
"It's already an hour past dawn!" Yutan complained.
"Actually, it's been two hours," Kukina corrected.
"What's the difference!" Yutan snapped.
"Hello, boys," a seductive voice suddenly cut through.
"A voice that beautiful..." Kukina started.
"Must belong to something as beautiful," Koenma II finished.
"Let's go check it out!" Yutan suggested. Him and Koenma II started running forward, but they stopped when they saw that Kukina wasn't coming.
"What's wrong?" Koenma II asked.
"I only have eyes for Kieima," Kukina stated as he folded his arms across his chest.
"You're right!" Yutan said, "Besides, I'm not interested in girls. I only love my Koenma-darling!"
Yutan glomped onto Koenma II and Koenma II moaned and let out an annoyed sigh.
"Hey, guys!" Kieima's voice broke through.
"Kieima-chan!" Kukina shouted as he took off running. Koenma II and Yutan were on his tail.
The three boys ran through some bushes and right into a hole.
"Ha ha! You fell right into my trap! Rule number one: Always be on guard!" Kieima laughed as she peered into the hole from above.
"Hey! You're late!" Koenma II complained.
"Nu-uh! I told YOU guys to be here at dawn...I never said we!" Kieima taunted. She picked up a shovel and began piling dirt into the hole.
"What are you doing!?" Kukina cried out, but soon found his mouth full of dirt.
"Burying you guys...what does it look like?" Kieima replied as she stuck out her tongue.
"Damn you! You cannot do this to I, Koenma the second! I'm royalty!" Koenma II shouted angrily.
"A royal pain in the butt more like it...and it sure seems I can, cause I am right now!"
Kieima finished filling up the hole and sat down beside it. She took out a container full of rice balls and began to eat.
Yutan's ears twitched as he heard the sound of Kieima chewing rice balls. Kukina whimpered slightly and Koenma II just sighed.
"RICE BALLS!" Yutan shouted as he flew from the dirt, Kukina and Koenma II hanging from the back of his broom.
"It's about time!" Kieima stated as she ate another rice ball.
"Rice balls..." Yutan muttered as he eyed the rice balls greedily and drooled slightly. Kieima got a sweat drop.
"Let's go!" Kieima shouted as she stood up, a rice ball dropping form her hands and onto the ground. Yutan devoured it quickly.
"Where are we going?" Koenma II asked.
"I don't know!" Kieima replied and the three face faulted, "But then again, the real fun thing about an adventure is not having a planned destination! Kukina, would you be a doll and carry my luggage?"
"Of course! I'd do anything for you!" Kukina replied as he saluted.
-
Kukina sat down with a thud when it was time to make camp. Kieima wasn't a light packer.
"Wash up before you cook dinner!" Kieima ordered as she entered her tent through its little flap.
The three boys quickly scrubbed themselves clean. Then Koenma II and Yutan made dinner as Kukina retraced the Dark Dragon on his arm. A little later they were done.
"What is this stuff?" Kieima asked as she was handed a plate of food.
"Yutan's Famous Camping Stew! A combination of fish, berries, rice, and these nifty leaves I found!" Yutan replied as he held up a leaf.
"That's Poison Ivy..." Kieima stated as she began to eat the stew.
"AH!" the three boys screamed as they ran circles around the fire.
"What a bunch of wimpy idiots...I guess this training thing is gonna be harder than I thought..." Kieima sighed. She took her empty bowl and threw it at the boys. It connected with Kukina's head, "Snap out of it!"
"Owie!" Kukina cried as he fell to his knees and held his head that was now bleeding slightly. He then started scratching at the rash forming on his face.
"It itches so much!" Yutan cried as he scratched vigorously at his arms. He ran and jumped into the big pot full of stew. He jumped out quickly, "Hot!"
Koenma II calmly pulled out an ointment and began applying it to his legs. Soon the other two boys joined him.
"What did you guys pack? Rule 2: always pack wisely," Kieima stated. The boys dumped their bags out onto the ground.
"I'll go first! Let's see...I have two books, Botan's Elements of Botany and Yuusuke's How to Tell if Someone's Dead, a first aid kit, a broom doctor kit, my diary, two cups of instant ramen, a camera, my phone book, two rubber stamps, a block of cheese, a 'Stay away from Poison Ivy' notice, my math homework, and this pretty pink jewel I found!" Yutan cheered, showing each object as he named it.
"Me next! I have Kieima's old ribbon, a black permanent marker, six cups of instant ramen, two first aid kits, Yukina's Guide to Our Feathered Friends, an old license plate, a string of sausages, five packets of mayonnaise, a picture of Kieima, and a loaf of bread!" Kukina cheered as he showed his belongings.
"I have a first aid kit, bug spray, Yutan repellent, an extra pacifier, a clean pair of clothes, a bottle of Sp 45 sun screen, eight cups of instant ramen, two bags of rice, a map, and a demon detector," Koenma II stated as he pushed his things back into his bag.
"Well, you idiots don't know how to pack right! I do though, so no need to be worried! I brought a nail file, a hunting knife, a sword, a rifle, rope, duct tape, two packs of matches, a lighter, ten gallons of gasoline, two extra pair of clothes, a compass, a flame thrower, a machine gun, a pair of chopsticks, a fishing pole..." Kieima hesitated as she stopped to think, "Oh yeah! And you three wimps"
The boys finished shoving their belongings back into their bags and then trudged off to bed.
Kieima looked up at the night sky and shouted, "Good night, Star!"
"Who ya talking to?" Kukina asked as he sat down beside Kieima.
"See that red star up there? Me and him, we're friends!" Kieima replied.
"And you call me weird..."
"You just don't understand me! That star and I were born on the same day and we'll die together! We're different from everybody else!"
"I see...well, I'm going to bed now..." Kukina said as he slinked away once more, a smile on his face and a sweat drop on the back of his head.
Kieima stuck her tongue out at him and crawled inside her tent.
-
"Master, we have found her," a youkai with long green hair, pink eyes, and green markings under his eyes stated as he bowed before hid youkai prince. His prince had flaming hair, deep blue eyes, and fangs that sparkled in the dim lighting. He was a little young to be a prince.
"Excellent. How long will it take to reach her planet, Shinma?" the young youkai prince asked.
"One week, mater, but our ship will only be able to land for one day without permission from your father," Shinma replied.
"Excellent. Final all the preparations."
"Yes, master."
-
Kieima and the boys walked barefooted through a desert, its hot sand scorching their feet.
"Kieima...can we rest?" Kukina begged.
"Sure...if you want to die from the extreme heat or the poisonous creatures that make their homes in this desert," Kieima replied, an evil grin spreading across her face.
"WAH!" the three boys cried and they took off running and were soon out of sight.
"Hey! You idiots! Get your scrawny butts back here!" Kieima shouted, but they were to far away to hear, She sighed to herself, "At least they're moving..."
-
"Where are we now?" Yutan asked, gliding beside Kieima on his ever faithful broom.
"A jungle, obviously," Koenma II stated as he sighed and glanced cautiously around.
"Actually, it's an Asian rainforest! We have only completed the swim from Japan, and crossing the Sahara desert," Kieima replied. She suddenly stopped.
"What...is...it?" Yutan stuttered.
"Oh, it's nothing really. Just a Boa Constrictor!" Kieima replied as she threw the large snake at the boys. They screamed and ran away.
"Hey, you idiots! Get back here or I'll have to hurt you!" Kieima shouted. The boys were back in a flash.
Suddenly there was a big explosion behind the group. It sent them flying.
"What the hell was that?" Kieima asked as she headed to the area where the explosion had occurred.
"Don't leave us behind!" the three boys cried as they ran after her waggling their arms.
Kieima knocked against the hard metal ship and blinked as she dented it, "Oops!"
Yutan flew above the ship and stated, "It's round!"
Koenma II and Kukina walked cautiously around the ship. They screamed when the door opened and his behind Kieima.
"Hello, would you care to join us for dinner?" Shinma asked as she stepped out of the ship.
"Do you have rice balls?" Yutan asked and Shinma nodded.
"Will you come?" Shinma asked again.
"Hell yeah! Free food..." Kieima started.
"...and rice balls..." Yutan added.
"...we're in!" the whole group finished.
They all ran inside and the door was shut behind them.
-
"Greetings! I hope you enjoy the meal!" the young youkai prince, Shiro said.
The five of them were sitting at a long table. On one side sat Kukina and Koenma Ii and on the other side sat Kieima and Yutan. Shiro sat at the head of the table with Kieima on his right side and Kukina on his left.
"Yeay! Food!" Kieima cheered as she picked up her chopsticks.
"Let's eat!" Yutan shouted and him and Kieima began eating like pigs. Kukina nicely picked up his chopsticks and began to eat.
"I'm not hungry," Koenma II stated as he pushed his plate away in disgust.
"What is this anyways?' Kieima asked with her mouth full.
"Ningen flesh," Shiro replied quietly, a small smile on his face.
Kieima, Kukina, and Yutan all spit out the meat, "What!?"
"What? Is there a problem?" Shiro replied, the smirk never leaving his face.
"I'm a hanyou!" Yutan shouted as he stood up and slammed his hands against the table. It toppled over onto its side and soup was splattered over everything and everyone.
"Let's get out of here!" Kukina suggested as they were already making their way towards the door.
"Hate to eat, barf, and run, but we've gotta go! See ya!" Kieima shouted as they ran out.
"Oh, don't worry. We will surely meet again," Shiro said as he began to laugh evily.
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Kieima: Hello! After each chapter we have a special segment for you! Each one will be different!
Koenma II: Since this is our first one, let's tell a joke!
Kieima: Oh! Oh! I got one!
Koenma II: It isn't dirty, is it?
Kieima: No! Of course not!
Koenma II: Alright, tell ahead then.
Kieima: Okay! Here goes! If a plane crashes on the border of Canada and North America,
where do you bury the survivors?
Kukina: In Japan?
Koenma II: You don't bury the survivors...
Kieima: You don't? Oops...get the shovels back out, Yutan!
Yutan: Do I have to? I just put them back!
Kieima: Do it now!
Yutan: Yes ma'am!
Kieima: Thank you!
Koenma II: Where did you bury them anyways?
Kieima: Sore wa himitsu desu!
Koenma II: You buried them in Japan, right?
Kieima: How did you guess!?
Koenma II: It's obvious...
Kukina: Well, that's the end of this segment! Join us next time for more craziness!
Kieima: Next time I'll reveal some of their most embarrassing secrets!
Everyone: Until then, Bye bye!
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END CHAPTER 1
So what do you think? I'm not the best at writing funny things, in fact this is my first time writing one on my own. I did just recently write another one, but it's a little funnier. Please review! Thanks for reading!
1.1 Chapter 1 Here We Go A Campin'
By pan-chan (Credit to reihino576, N-chan, and C-chan too!)
Thanks to N-chan, I have once again decided to start another fan fic while typing my long one. This story is actually partially written out. I do not own any of the Yu Yu Hakusho characters from the first series, but I do own all the new ones except Yutan (since I created everyone cept him). This is supposed to take place after the series, no duh, and is basically just a weird continuation of it. Now for the characters! Kieima is the cute little three eyed youko and she is the fighter of the group. She can get anyone to do anything and she gets expelled from school constantly. She has long black hair, white ears and a white fluffy tail, green eyes, two little fangs, sharp claws, a third eye, a dark dragon, and she usually wears a headband around her forehead, a pair of white pants and a white long sleeve shirt, a dress-type thing over it that has a rose on the front and two sun flowers on the hip, and a belt. She is the daughter of Kurama and Hiei. Yutan is the gay cross-dresser of the group. He rides around on a broom and always wears a dress (in my drawings of him he has pants underneath). He has teal hair which he pulls back into a ponytail and big blue eyes. On the front of his dress he has a heart. He wears two bows, one on his head and one on his back. He is a real idiot and hasn't been to a day of school in his life. He is passed constantly to Hiei and Kurama for babysitting. They weren't sure who his parents were, but now they are sure that they are Botan and Yuusuke. Botan raised him first, before she found out who his father was, and she raised him like a girl. Kukina is the chicken of the group. His dream is to be just like Hiei and marry Kieima...once he gets over his fear of her that is. He looks just like Hiei besides the added hair around his ears. He is constantly drawing a dark dragon on his arm and got a third eye so he could be just like his idol. He can barely fight and is afraid of everything, and I mean everything! The reason for that though is because he was a very abused child and hit with lots of objects are beaten with them in some other way. He has some brains, he just doesn't use them. His parents are Yukina and Kuwabara. Koenma II is the brains in the group. The two is added to his name for lack of better combination of his parents names. Just like his father, he always has a pacifier with him, in fact he almost looks like him. He also has added hair around his ears. He can't fight at all, but he can tell his friends ways to win...if they were their parents. He is Yutan's love, but the feeling isn't mutual. He is usually doing paperwork and can hardly be a kid. He is the son of Koenma and Keiko. There! That's all I need for a disclaimer! Wow...this is my longest disclaimer ever...it's almost a page long...well, before I start the story I would just like to tell you a little about Kieima's past and her third eye. She was born with a third eye, which wasn't supposed to be possible since Hiei had it added later in his life. Hiei used to try to kill her before she was born and even a few times after. Kurama used to save her a lot, either that or her and Yutan would tie him to a chair and color him in with markers...ahem...but that's another fic I'm working on. There! I'm almost positive that's everything you need to know. If you have any other questions, e-mail me! Thank you and enjoy this crazy series!
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Kieima sighed as she trudged along the sidewalk. She hated the city and all the stupid ningens that lived there. She growled under her breath.
"Hey, hey! What's up!?" Yutan asked as he appeared out of nowhere and flew down to even himself with Kieima.
"I got expelled from school...again..." Kieima replied. She pushed her soft black hair away from her eyes and glared at some innocent bystanders who were staring at the little youko and the cross dresser on a broom.
Yutan laughed and zoomed high in the air, "I'll come with you! Afterwards, let's go scare some ningens at the park!"
"Yeah!"
-
"Hiei-puu...I think there's something wrong with Kieima..." Kurama trailed off as he sliced a piece of meat into even pieces.
"Really? I would have never guessed. She is the daughter of two men for starters, she always stays in her youko form, she's very violent, and she has already gotten expelled from five schools! Need I say more?" Hiei replied as he stood up and stretched.
"Oh, and I wonder what side of the family she inherits her violent ways from."
"Hey..."
"Besides, that wasn't what I meant! I was talking about her mood changes...it used to happen only at home, but just the other day I took her shopping and she suddenly dropped the bag she was carrying and whispered, 'I can see the darkness...it's very near...' then she screamed and took off down the street!"
"I think she was just trying to get out of carrying groceries."
"She's not lazy, unlike you."
"Hey! What's that supposed to mean!?"
"Nothing really..."
"Well, Kieima sure was born under the most unusual circumstances...you think I didn't have a reason for all those attempts on her life? A third eye is not supposed to be passed down through heritage, yet she has one..."
"If that's true, why haven't you tried to kill her for quite some time?"
"...I have my reasons..."
"Oh? I just don't thing you could live with the guilt. You truly do think of her as your daughter!"
"Oh, just shut up and make dinner."
"I'm home!" Kieima shouted as she threw the door open and ran inside. She handed Kurama the paper from the school board, "I'm going out! See you later!"
"Bye, dear," Kurama replied as he read the paper and handed it to Hiei. Hiei growled slightly. Kurama gave him a look as if to say , 'Hey! At least she tries to go to school!' Hiei grumbled miserably.
"I promise to be back before dinner!" Kieima stated as she threw her book bag down next to Hiei on the couch. She kissed him on the forehead and hugged Kurama before she ran out.
"So how did it go?" Yutan asked as Kieima shut the door.
"I'll get scolded by mommy for later, but for right now, let's go create some fear in those ningens hearts!" Kieima shouted as she punched her hand against the wall and left a hole, "Oops...hurry! Let's go!"
Kieima hurried down the flight of stairs, Yutan racing after her on his broom. She threw the door open and ran outside. Unfortunately Yutan wasn't fast enough and it slammed in his face.
Kieima laughed and took off again. Yutan threw the door open and followed after her. After about five minutes of running, Kieima slowed to a walk and Yutan caught up with her.
"Yutan, do you think I'm weird?" Kieima asked suddenly.
"Yutan gave her a confused look and replied, "Not at all! Hell yeah you're a little different then the ningens, but that doesn't bother me. If anything, asking that makes me think you're weird..."
"Alright!...Look! I can see the park!" Kieima replied as she took off running once more.
"Please...wait!" Yutan cried as he flew after her.
"Where is everybody?" Yutan asked when he reached Kieima's side. The park was deserted and empty. Not even a bird chirped nor a leaf blow.
"Do you feel that?" Kieima asked as she cautiously glanced around.
"Not really...Is someone groping my butt?" Yutan asked as he looked behind him.
"I smell a youkai..."
"Kukina perhaps?"
"Isn't he still on vacation? It's different from his anyways...huh? It's gone..."
"Hello, everyone!" Koenma II said as he popped out of the sky and landed on Yutan, knocking him to the ground.
"Oh, Koenma! I never knew you felt that way!" Yutan said happily as he got hearts in his eyes. Koenma II stuck out his tongue in disgust and scrambled away.
"Wait! Where are you going, Koenma-darling!" Yutan cried as he chased after Koenma II with his arms out stretched. Kieima laughed.
"Oh, Kieima-chan!" Kukina said as he glomped onto Kieima.
"Get off of me before I have to kill you..." Kieima growled. Kukina yelped and jumped away, slamming into a nearby tree.
"Looks like the whole shrimp patrol is here..." Hiei muttered as him and Kurama entered the park.
"Like you should talk, daddy! I'm almost taller than you!" Kieima teased as she stuck her tongue out. Hiei just glared.
"Now, now, Kieima dear. Please don't tease your father," Kurama said in a motherly tone.
"Yes, mommy..." Kieima replied.
"Good...I brought you guys some food," Kurama stated as he held up a picnic basket.
"Yeay! Food!" the four children cheered, "Thank you!"
"Good-bye! Have fun and behave yourselves!" Kurama said as him and Hiei walked off.
Kieima set the basket down and pulled the cloth off of it.
"Rice balls!" Yutan cheered as he picked up a rice ball and began eating it. Soon the group had emptied the basket.
Kieima burped slightly and yawned, "That was so yummy!"
Yutan rolled on his back and burped in agreement.
"Now for the reason I came, Koenma II stated as he stood up.
"You mean you had a reason to come here?" Kukina asked in a confused tone.
"Yes...I have to go on a mission...and Kieima, I need your help!" Koenma II said.
"What about us!?" Yutan and Kukina shouted in unison.
"What about you? Kieima...please train me!" Koenma II said as he bowed.
"Us, too! Don't leave us out!" Yutan and Kukina cried in unison.
"Oh, you guys want training, eh?" Kieima asked with an evil grin on her face.
The three boys gulped and nodded.
"Then pack your bags and be hear at dawn!" Kieima shouted.
-
"Where is she!?" Koenma II shouted angrily as he watched the sun.
"It's already an hour past dawn!" Yutan complained.
"Actually, it's been two hours," Kukina corrected.
"What's the difference!" Yutan snapped.
"Hello, boys," a seductive voice suddenly cut through.
"A voice that beautiful..." Kukina started.
"Must belong to something as beautiful," Koenma II finished.
"Let's go check it out!" Yutan suggested. Him and Koenma II started running forward, but they stopped when they saw that Kukina wasn't coming.
"What's wrong?" Koenma II asked.
"I only have eyes for Kieima," Kukina stated as he folded his arms across his chest.
"You're right!" Yutan said, "Besides, I'm not interested in girls. I only love my Koenma-darling!"
Yutan glomped onto Koenma II and Koenma II moaned and let out an annoyed sigh.
"Hey, guys!" Kieima's voice broke through.
"Kieima-chan!" Kukina shouted as he took off running. Koenma II and Yutan were on his tail.
The three boys ran through some bushes and right into a hole.
"Ha ha! You fell right into my trap! Rule number one: Always be on guard!" Kieima laughed as she peered into the hole from above.
"Hey! You're late!" Koenma II complained.
"Nu-uh! I told YOU guys to be here at dawn...I never said we!" Kieima taunted. She picked up a shovel and began piling dirt into the hole.
"What are you doing!?" Kukina cried out, but soon found his mouth full of dirt.
"Burying you guys...what does it look like?" Kieima replied as she stuck out her tongue.
"Damn you! You cannot do this to I, Koenma the second! I'm royalty!" Koenma II shouted angrily.
"A royal pain in the butt more like it...and it sure seems I can, cause I am right now!"
Kieima finished filling up the hole and sat down beside it. She took out a container full of rice balls and began to eat.
Yutan's ears twitched as he heard the sound of Kieima chewing rice balls. Kukina whimpered slightly and Koenma II just sighed.
"RICE BALLS!" Yutan shouted as he flew from the dirt, Kukina and Koenma II hanging from the back of his broom.
"It's about time!" Kieima stated as she ate another rice ball.
"Rice balls..." Yutan muttered as he eyed the rice balls greedily and drooled slightly. Kieima got a sweat drop.
"Let's go!" Kieima shouted as she stood up, a rice ball dropping form her hands and onto the ground. Yutan devoured it quickly.
"Where are we going?" Koenma II asked.
"I don't know!" Kieima replied and the three face faulted, "But then again, the real fun thing about an adventure is not having a planned destination! Kukina, would you be a doll and carry my luggage?"
"Of course! I'd do anything for you!" Kukina replied as he saluted.
-
Kukina sat down with a thud when it was time to make camp. Kieima wasn't a light packer.
"Wash up before you cook dinner!" Kieima ordered as she entered her tent through its little flap.
The three boys quickly scrubbed themselves clean. Then Koenma II and Yutan made dinner as Kukina retraced the Dark Dragon on his arm. A little later they were done.
"What is this stuff?" Kieima asked as she was handed a plate of food.
"Yutan's Famous Camping Stew! A combination of fish, berries, rice, and these nifty leaves I found!" Yutan replied as he held up a leaf.
"That's Poison Ivy..." Kieima stated as she began to eat the stew.
"AH!" the three boys screamed as they ran circles around the fire.
"What a bunch of wimpy idiots...I guess this training thing is gonna be harder than I thought..." Kieima sighed. She took her empty bowl and threw it at the boys. It connected with Kukina's head, "Snap out of it!"
"Owie!" Kukina cried as he fell to his knees and held his head that was now bleeding slightly. He then started scratching at the rash forming on his face.
"It itches so much!" Yutan cried as he scratched vigorously at his arms. He ran and jumped into the big pot full of stew. He jumped out quickly, "Hot!"
Koenma II calmly pulled out an ointment and began applying it to his legs. Soon the other two boys joined him.
"What did you guys pack? Rule 2: always pack wisely," Kieima stated. The boys dumped their bags out onto the ground.
"I'll go first! Let's see...I have two books, Botan's Elements of Botany and Yuusuke's How to Tell if Someone's Dead, a first aid kit, a broom doctor kit, my diary, two cups of instant ramen, a camera, my phone book, two rubber stamps, a block of cheese, a 'Stay away from Poison Ivy' notice, my math homework, and this pretty pink jewel I found!" Yutan cheered, showing each object as he named it.
"Me next! I have Kieima's old ribbon, a black permanent marker, six cups of instant ramen, two first aid kits, Yukina's Guide to Our Feathered Friends, an old license plate, a string of sausages, five packets of mayonnaise, a picture of Kieima, and a loaf of bread!" Kukina cheered as he showed his belongings.
"I have a first aid kit, bug spray, Yutan repellent, an extra pacifier, a clean pair of clothes, a bottle of Sp 45 sun screen, eight cups of instant ramen, two bags of rice, a map, and a demon detector," Koenma II stated as he pushed his things back into his bag.
"Well, you idiots don't know how to pack right! I do though, so no need to be worried! I brought a nail file, a hunting knife, a sword, a rifle, rope, duct tape, two packs of matches, a lighter, ten gallons of gasoline, two extra pair of clothes, a compass, a flame thrower, a machine gun, a pair of chopsticks, a fishing pole..." Kieima hesitated as she stopped to think, "Oh yeah! And you three wimps"
The boys finished shoving their belongings back into their bags and then trudged off to bed.
Kieima looked up at the night sky and shouted, "Good night, Star!"
"Who ya talking to?" Kukina asked as he sat down beside Kieima.
"See that red star up there? Me and him, we're friends!" Kieima replied.
"And you call me weird..."
"You just don't understand me! That star and I were born on the same day and we'll die together! We're different from everybody else!"
"I see...well, I'm going to bed now..." Kukina said as he slinked away once more, a smile on his face and a sweat drop on the back of his head.
Kieima stuck her tongue out at him and crawled inside her tent.
-
"Master, we have found her," a youkai with long green hair, pink eyes, and green markings under his eyes stated as he bowed before hid youkai prince. His prince had flaming hair, deep blue eyes, and fangs that sparkled in the dim lighting. He was a little young to be a prince.
"Excellent. How long will it take to reach her planet, Shinma?" the young youkai prince asked.
"One week, mater, but our ship will only be able to land for one day without permission from your father," Shinma replied.
"Excellent. Final all the preparations."
"Yes, master."
-
Kieima and the boys walked barefooted through a desert, its hot sand scorching their feet.
"Kieima...can we rest?" Kukina begged.
"Sure...if you want to die from the extreme heat or the poisonous creatures that make their homes in this desert," Kieima replied, an evil grin spreading across her face.
"WAH!" the three boys cried and they took off running and were soon out of sight.
"Hey! You idiots! Get your scrawny butts back here!" Kieima shouted, but they were to far away to hear, She sighed to herself, "At least they're moving..."
-
"Where are we now?" Yutan asked, gliding beside Kieima on his ever faithful broom.
"A jungle, obviously," Koenma II stated as he sighed and glanced cautiously around.
"Actually, it's an Asian rainforest! We have only completed the swim from Japan, and crossing the Sahara desert," Kieima replied. She suddenly stopped.
"What...is...it?" Yutan stuttered.
"Oh, it's nothing really. Just a Boa Constrictor!" Kieima replied as she threw the large snake at the boys. They screamed and ran away.
"Hey, you idiots! Get back here or I'll have to hurt you!" Kieima shouted. The boys were back in a flash.
Suddenly there was a big explosion behind the group. It sent them flying.
"What the hell was that?" Kieima asked as she headed to the area where the explosion had occurred.
"Don't leave us behind!" the three boys cried as they ran after her waggling their arms.
Kieima knocked against the hard metal ship and blinked as she dented it, "Oops!"
Yutan flew above the ship and stated, "It's round!"
Koenma II and Kukina walked cautiously around the ship. They screamed when the door opened and his behind Kieima.
"Hello, would you care to join us for dinner?" Shinma asked as she stepped out of the ship.
"Do you have rice balls?" Yutan asked and Shinma nodded.
"Will you come?" Shinma asked again.
"Hell yeah! Free food..." Kieima started.
"...and rice balls..." Yutan added.
"...we're in!" the whole group finished.
They all ran inside and the door was shut behind them.
-
"Greetings! I hope you enjoy the meal!" the young youkai prince, Shiro said.
The five of them were sitting at a long table. On one side sat Kukina and Koenma Ii and on the other side sat Kieima and Yutan. Shiro sat at the head of the table with Kieima on his right side and Kukina on his left.
"Yeay! Food!" Kieima cheered as she picked up her chopsticks.
"Let's eat!" Yutan shouted and him and Kieima began eating like pigs. Kukina nicely picked up his chopsticks and began to eat.
"I'm not hungry," Koenma II stated as he pushed his plate away in disgust.
"What is this anyways?' Kieima asked with her mouth full.
"Ningen flesh," Shiro replied quietly, a small smile on his face.
Kieima, Kukina, and Yutan all spit out the meat, "What!?"
"What? Is there a problem?" Shiro replied, the smirk never leaving his face.
"I'm a hanyou!" Yutan shouted as he stood up and slammed his hands against the table. It toppled over onto its side and soup was splattered over everything and everyone.
"Let's get out of here!" Kukina suggested as they were already making their way towards the door.
"Hate to eat, barf, and run, but we've gotta go! See ya!" Kieima shouted as they ran out.
"Oh, don't worry. We will surely meet again," Shiro said as he began to laugh evily.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kieima: Hello! After each chapter we have a special segment for you! Each one will be different!
Koenma II: Since this is our first one, let's tell a joke!
Kieima: Oh! Oh! I got one!
Koenma II: It isn't dirty, is it?
Kieima: No! Of course not!
Koenma II: Alright, tell ahead then.
Kieima: Okay! Here goes! If a plane crashes on the border of Canada and North America,
where do you bury the survivors?
Kukina: In Japan?
Koenma II: You don't bury the survivors...
Kieima: You don't? Oops...get the shovels back out, Yutan!
Yutan: Do I have to? I just put them back!
Kieima: Do it now!
Yutan: Yes ma'am!
Kieima: Thank you!
Koenma II: Where did you bury them anyways?
Kieima: Sore wa himitsu desu!
Koenma II: You buried them in Japan, right?
Kieima: How did you guess!?
Koenma II: It's obvious...
Kukina: Well, that's the end of this segment! Join us next time for more craziness!
Kieima: Next time I'll reveal some of their most embarrassing secrets!
Everyone: Until then, Bye bye!
**************************************************************************** ********************************
END CHAPTER 1
So what do you think? I'm not the best at writing funny things, in fact this is my first time writing one on my own. I did just recently write another one, but it's a little funnier. Please review! Thanks for reading!