A/N: I'm procrastinating again, I admit it, but it was for a good cause this time! This one-shot/squeal thing is dedicated to one on my followers, Elizabeth Zara, who wrote the 100th review on my main story, New Narnia! Thank you Elizabeth, and thank you everyone else who has ever read or reviewed New Narnia! You guys are the best!
Disclaimer: I don't own Narnia, I only own my strange, AU movieverse plot lines :)
"PETER WILLIAM PEVENSIE! YOU GET BACK HERE THIS INSTANT! YOU ARE SO LUCKY I CAN'T RUN AFTER YOU RIGHT NOW!" came the furious voice of Narnia's Gentle Queen. Peter was running for his life, cowering in fear of his little sister. He was flying across the lawns of Cair Paravel, moving faster than anyone had ever seen him run. Edmund as Caspian stopped in the middle of their sword fight, watching in blatant disbelief as their brother careened past them, quite literally making for the hills. Once Peter vanished over the ridge, the two dark-haired kings collapsed in laughter, dropping their weapons and falling to the floor. Caspian was howling, rolling around on his back, while Edmund was on all fours, struggling for air as he beat a fist against the ground.
Both of them knew without asking exactly what had happened… The Magnificent ex-High King of Narnia had done something to upset his very, very pregnant sister. Susan was due any day now, and he mood swings were positively deadly. They had been bad enough when they'd first started around the middle of her seventh month, but now, so close to the due date, they were catastrophic.
Once Caspian was able to stop laughing, he vaguely wondered what Peter had done to upset Susan so much, that she had been shouting at him from a balcony, shooting daggers into his back with her eyes as he ran for his life. Glancing up, he saw his beautiful wife still standing on the balcony, trying to spot her older brother in the distance. If Peter knew what was good for him, he was halfway to the Lamppost by now. Caspian rose from the grass, patted Ed on the back once, and made his way into the sea-side palace. Making his way to the throne room, he ran into Lucy, who looked a little worse-for-wear.
"Don't even think about it. She's calling everyone by their first and middle names. It's bad." Lucy warned, bracing a hand on Caspian's chest, backing him away from the throne room doors.
"But I have no 'middle' name." he said, hoping this would allow the youngest queen to let him in to see his wife.
"That will probably make her more angry. She'll call you 'Caspian Telmarine' or 'The Seafaring Idiot' or something like that. That, or she'll just get even madder that she can't call you by a middle name. Either way, you're asking to be castrated if you go in there." she said, and Caspian blinked four times rapidly.
"Did you just say…? Were you referring to…" Caspian sputtered, and Lucy laughed at him.
"What is it with you men? Between you and Peter, I'd have thought ONE of you would realize I'm not as young as I look." Lucy chuckled, shaking her head as she patted Caspian's arm.
"Your looks are deceiving, little sister. Sometimes I forget you have the brain of a woman much older than I." he said, shaking off his sudden shock. Lucy laughed again.
"There we go. So, want to know what Peter did while you wait for her to cool off?" she asked, and Caspian laughed.
"Most definitely. What did 'Peter William' do, exactly?" he asked, relishing in this new knowledge of the Magnificent Kings 'middle' name. Now he knew what to call him when Peter ticked him off. Lucy snickered, and looked back at the door leading to the throne room.
"She came in, Pete and I had just finished taking audiences, looking for me. We were supposed to walk along the beach, and audiences had run long (as usual). Anyway, she came to see if we were done, and you know how she has to walk lately. Leaning back, and she, you know, waddles." Lucy said, and Caspian cringed. He was pretty sure he knew where this was going.
"He made fun of her walking, didn't he?" Caspian asked. He had made that mistake. He only made it once.
"More like her… weight. It was almost a fat joke, if we're being honest here." Lucy said, and Caspian barked a laugh. He wasn't stupid enough for that, why on earth would Peter comment on Susan's pregnancy weight gain…?
"What kind of 'fat joke'?" Caspian asked, wanting all the details. He could tease Peter about it later, if he ever returned from wherever the hell he ran to.
"Oh, something along the lines of 'sure you aren't carrying two babies, Su? You seem to be getting bigger every minute'. You know, Peter's usual thoughtless blurting-out of words. Susan turned purple in the face, then she started shouting. I'm fairly certain Peter wet himself as he was running away." Lucy said, and both of them collapsed into giggles.
"That… most definitely sounds like something Peter would say. He had best not come back until after this baby is born." Caspian said, wiping under his eyes. He had started crying, he was laughing so hard. Lucy grinned.
"I can't wait to finally meet my niece." she said wistfully.
"You mean MY nephew." came a slightly nasal voice from around the corner. A moment later, Edmund appeared, and joined the other royals on a bench just outside the throne room.
"I'm pretty sure it's my baby." Caspian added in, and they all snickered.
"You never know Cas. Maybe Su had an affair with that ambassador from Archenland. He had such lovely eyes." Edmund teased, and Caspian stuck his tongue out at him. If one didn't know any better, you'd think the three of them were school children, not royalty.
"Shut up, Ed. Susan would never cheat on Caspian. She loves him way too much." Lucy said, siding with her preferred brother. It was an ongoing joke among the Pevensie's, dating back as far as 5 years ago, when Susan and Caspian were just courting, that Lucy preferred her brother-in-law to her actual brothers. Something Lucy refused to confirm or deny.
"Is it safe?" a voice whispered. The three royals turned, and were rather surprised to see Peter in the corridor with them, half hidden behind a potted plant.
"No, not at all. Are you crazy? You've only been gone ten minutes." Lucy said, shaking her head at him. Peter glanced warily at the door, and sat on the every edge of the bench, so as to make a fast getaway if needed.
"I didn't mean it the way she took it!" Peter said, throwing his hands up in the air. Caspian shook his head at his brother-in-law.
"You're incredible, you know that? Only you could 'accidentally' call Susan fat." Caspian said, shaking his head. Edmund snorted, looking at his brother.
"That's what you did to her? You are an idiot." he said, shaking his head at Peter. Peter sighed heavily, and leaned against the wall.
"It really was an accident…!" he muttered, and Lucy patted him on the knee.
"I'm sure it was, Pete. We all know you don't think before you do anything." she said.
"Thanks, Lu, that makes me feel… wait, HEY!" he shouted, and the other three monarchs started laughing. Two seconds later though, they were all completely silent. It had just dawned on all of them that a very angry, very pregnant Susan was just on the other side of the door. However, no one heard any sounds indicating she was moving to get the door open.
"Think she heard us?" Lucy asked. Caspian nodded dumbly.
"The King of Archenland probably heard us… from his palace, in Archenland." he whispered back. Peter was slowly inching off the bench, preparing to run for his life if Susan did exit the throne room. Edmund stood warily, and pressed an ear to the side of the door. What he heard worried him a little.
"It's way too quiet in there. Someone should go see if she's alright." he said.
"I'll go. She won't yell at me too much." Lucy volunteered, and as she moved to open the door, the three kings backed up speedily, prepared to run for it if necessary. Lucy shook her head at them, and entered the throne room. She walked up to her older sister, who was standing rather rigidly in front of a window.
"Lu…cy. Is that you?" Susan asked, he voice strangled. She hadn't turned around yet, and this worried the youngest queen a tad.
"Yes, it's me. What's the matter Susan?" she asked. Susan turned around a little, and Lucy noticed that the lap of her dress was all wet. She knew Su went to the bathroom 65 times a day because of her pregnancy, but really? There's no way it could be what Lucy thought it was, so it had to be…
"Lu, I think… I think I've just gone into labor." Susan whispered, looking her sister in the face for the first time. Susan looked to be absolutely terrified. There was complete, utter silence for 15 seconds, then Lucy screamed.
"CAAAASPIAAAAAAAAN!" the Telmarine King came flying into the room the moment the fist syllable was out of Lucy's mouth. He took one look at the pale faces of the queens, another look at the wet spot on Susan's dress, and just about fainted.
"EDMUND!" he finally roared, coming to after the shock passed. The Just King came flying into the throne room as well, "Send for the midwife, the physician, handmaids, anybody! Susan just went into labor!" Caspian shouted at his brother. Edmund stood frozen for three seconds, then nodded, and dashed off, running at breakneck speeds down the corridors. Caspian scooped his wife up in his arms, and quickly carried her to their chambers. She was hyperventilating, and Caspian was unsure is this was a good thing.
"Su, Su, you have to relax your breathing, remember? Gertrude told us that at your last three check ups…" Lucy was babbling as Caspian set Susan down on their bed. She seemed to comprehend Lucy, and slowed her breathing down. In the next second, her first contraction hit. The scream was blood-curdling, and Caspian felt his whole face pale, as though a layer had just fallen off at the sight of his beloved wife's pain.
"Your Majesty, breath!" came the voice of Gertrude, the palace midwife. She came bustling into the room with four handmaids, towels, a bowl of water, and an few other things Caspian didn't care to know the use of.
"Susan, Susan, look at me. It was just a contraction, just a contraction. There's a lot more to go." Lucy said, quietly, holding tightly on to her sisters hand, stroking her forehead. Caspian had her other hand, and was at an utter loss on what to do.
"My King, I'm going to have to ask you to leave. We have no room to accommodate you at this time." the midwife said softly, and Caspian looked up at her, unable to believe his ears.
"You're asking me to leave my wife?" he asked. Susan tugged weakly at his hand, bringing his attentions back to her.
"Go. I'll be fine, I've got Lucy, her cordial, and Gertrude. Come back when it's all over, and then you'll get to see your little son or daughter. I… I'd rather you not see me like this…" she said, punctuating her sentence with another gut-wrenching scream. Caspian paled even more (if that were even possible) and squeezed her hand.
"Stay strong, my love. For our baby." he whispered, kissing her forehead. Caspian dared not look back as he exited the chambers, for fear if he did, he wouldn't be able to stop himself from running back to her, and refusing to leave her side. On the other side of the door, Peter and Edmund were pacing furiously.
"There you are! We thought they would never get you out of there." Edmund said, pausing when he heard the door open. Susan screeched again, and all three kings flinched.
"Let's… let's go somewhere else. They'll send for us when there's any news." Peter said shakily, dragging Caspian by the arm to get him away from the door.
"ARGH!" Susan exclaimed, falling back onto the pillows, panting after what felt like her millionth contraction. She was tired, she was sweaty, blood was pouring from not-so-pleasant places, and she just wanted to sleep.
"Do be sure to stay awake, my queen! Falling asleep during labor could be very dangerous, very dangerous indeed." Gertrude scolded, bustling about, then checking Susan once again. She'd been in labor for five hours, and wasn't sure how much longer she could take it.
"You're going to be okay Su, you're going to be okay. Just think, soon enough you'll have a little baby to love and cherish!" Lucy condoled, wiping a cool cloth across her older sisters forehead. Susan gave her a weak smile.
"Thanks, Lu." she whispered. Gertrude's head popped up a moment later, looking quite excited.
"I believe it's time to push, you Majesty!" she exclaimed, and Susan seized up in panic.
"Push? PUSH! How am I supposed to do that?" she shouted, then screamed when another contraction hit.
"It's quite natural, dear. At the peak of the next contraction, lets push this baby out, alright? I think he or she is eager to finally meet their mommy. You've had quite a brief labor." Gertrude said.
"BREIF! I've been at it for five hours!" Susan shrieked, and Lucy tried to clam her down, relax her between contractions.
"I know dear, I know. Though, most labors I've seen last, on average, seven to nine hours." Gertrude said matter-of-factly, prepping some of the items that would be needed as soon as the baby was born.
"Nine hours?" Susan squeaked, quieting down instantly. She was going to be damn thankful for five, thank you very much. Then, another contraction rocked her body, and Susan felt the sudden urge to push. With an earth-shattering scream, the Gentle Queen of Narnia gave it everything she had, and flopped back onto the pillows when it was over.
"Very good your Majesty, very good! One or two more should do it!" Gertrude said, smiling warmly at Susan. Lucy squeezed her sisters hand.
"Come on Su, you can do it. I need to see if I've won my bet with Ed." she said, and Susan laughed weakly. She had almost forgotten Lu's bet on the gender of the baby with Edmund. Susan took a deep breath as the next contraction rolled in, and with another scream, she pushed as hard as she could. And when Susan though she could go on no longer, she heard the most beautiful sound she'd ever heard in her life.
A baby was crying.
Caspian was pacing again. He had been doing so on and off for the past 5 hours. Pacing, sitting, standing, pacing… a continuous cycle that was making Edmunds head spin. The brothers had tried to force some strong drink down his throat, hoping it would calm him down, but he had all but tossed the cup across the room every time they offered.
"Come on Cas, relax. It's only been five hours." Peter said, sounding like he was trying to convince himself more than Caspian.
"Only. Five. Hours?" Caspian hissed through clenched teeth. Peter was silent, clearly out of half-composed attempts at comfort. The three kings sat in complete silence, save for the sound of Caspian slowly wearing out the carpet. Several minutes later, a guard came bursting into the room.
"Your Majesties!" he shouted, and he needn't say any more. All there kings were on their feet, dashing through the corridors at impossible speeds, surprising even themselves when they didn't go flying into corners or suits of amour. Caspian stopped short at the door to his and Susan's chambers, unsure if he wanted to know what happened. Edmund ran right up to him, and threw the door open in one fluid movement. He shoved Caspian once on the back, and the Telmarine King stumbled into the room.
The first thing he saw was the midwife. She and the handmaids were wrapping up the last of the things they had used during the birth. Gertrude nodded to the king, and smiled.
"Congratulations." she whispered, leaving the royal family alone with themselves.
As she left, Caspian next saw Lucy, who was, quite literally, bouncing up and down next to the bed, positively beaming. Following Lucy's gaze, Caspian finally laid eyes on his wife. She looked absolutely exhausted, but she had a massive, radiant smile on her face. When she beckoned him over, he saw, for the first time, the little bundle she was holding. Caspian moved to her side slowly, sinking down on the mattress next to her, eyes locked on the little bundle of cloth.
"We have a son." she whispered, tears in her eyes. Caspian felt moisture gather in his own eyes, and he leaned forward to kiss his wife on the forehead, then look down at the bundle between them. The smallest little person Caspian had ever seen lay in his mother's arms, sleeping peacefully. He already had a few wisps of dark hair, and his fingers curled around the edge of his blanket adorably. Susan leaned down and kissed the baby's forehead, before passing him off to his daddy. Caspian held his little son as delicately as one might hold a crystal glass, and sighed happily.
"This is the most beautiful day of my life." he whispered to Susan, and she smiled at him.
"And he's all ours." she whispered, kissing her husband quickly on the lips.
"Have you picked a name?" Lucy asked, still standing next to the bed. Peter and Edmund had joined her quietly, giving the new parents a moment to themselves. Susan and Caspian looked at one another, and smiled.
"Rilian. His name is Rilian." Susan said softly, and Lucy cooed.
"That's so sweet. It's a little bit Narnia, and a little bit Telmarine." she squealed.
"Just like my nephew." Edmund added, making everyone laugh. Their quiet giggles woke the little prince up, and he blinked sleepily, laying eyes on his father for the first time. Caspian felt his heart melt a little bit.
"Hello my Prince, welcome to Narnia." Caspian whispered to his son, delighted when he made a soft baby sound, and snuggled closer into Caspian's chest. Everyone 'awed'.
"So, do I get to hold him?" Lucy pleaded a few minutes later. Caspian laughed again, and relinquished his son to his favorite (and only) sister-in-law. Lucy sighed, cradling the little boy to her chest.
"You so owe me 15 gold pieces, by the way." Edmund added, and Lucy stuck her tongue out at him, turning her attention back to the baby.
"Don't you worry, Ril. I love you just as much as I'd love a niece. Your mom and dad will just have to have another baby." she said, making Peter fake vomiting.
"One pregnancy at a time, please." he said, and Susan scowled at him.
"I'm still rather upset with you for that fat joke, by the way." she scolded, and Peter looked down sheepishly.
"Sorry about that." he mumbled. Susan smiled, and shook her head, turning back to her sister and son. The little boy was closing his eyes sleepily, and Lucy passed him off to his dark-haired uncle. He gave a small whine in Edmund's arms, turning over a bit, and dozing off. Edmund chuckled at the sight, earning some raised eyebrows from his family members.
"I think I know what that means." he said.
"What?" came several voices at once.
"This one's going to take after his daddy, I can tell right now. He totally just said 'five more minutes'." Ed concluded, and the entire room erupted in soft laughter.
A/N: Come one, everybody with me, AAWWWWWWEEEE! Cuteness overload, much. Well, there it is. I hope you liked it, Elizabeth! (and yes, I'm going to go back to work on chapter 17 of the main story...)