Author's Note and Disclaimer:

Crack fic I thought of when watching New Girl.

I do not own DC Comics or the CW TV shows Arrow, The Flash, Legends of Tomorrow, Supergirl or any other characters or elements pertaining to the mentioned franchises.

Hope you have fun

With regards

Bl4ckHunter

Ray Palmer and Felicity Smoak have been roommates for a while when Ray knocked on Felicity's door in her room in their shared apartment.

"Would you mind giving me a ride to the hardware store? I want to get a punching bag for training and some stuff has been missing from the garage." Ray said.

"Sure." Felicity nodded.

Felicity was helping with the cart full of tools as she groaned in pain. "Do we really need all this stuff?" Ray showed her a list on paper.

"Long-shafted drive drill… a nut wrench…" Felicity narrowed her eyes. "Why a nut wrench?"

"Our old nut wrench is bad." Ray said.

"Quick-hardening caulk." Felicity read as they started to look around.

"Hey, guys, check it out!" Ray cheered as he held a long piece of metal. "Look at this big old pipe!" Suddenly, he slipped on an oil slick as he fell down and hit Felicity in the chin accidentally with the pipe.

"Felicity, I got you some soup…" Ray said as he later entered Felicity's room with a bowl of soup in his hand as she was in bed, in pajamas and on the nightstand was a bottle of pills and her jaw had a big red bruise.

"I feel good… Lissie feel good…" Felicity said, smiling. "I like to say words with my mouth…"

"Well, your jaw is super-bruised, so you should get some rest but at least you've got some pain meds to keep you occupied." Ray assured her as he put the bowl with soup on the nightstand.

"I like you." Felicity said.

"I like you too, Felicity." Ray said. Suddenly, Felicity reached for Ray's pants as he tried to hold her hands. "Whoa, whoa, slow down, what are you doing?"

"I want to play…" Felicity said.

"Whoa, whoa, you're way too loopy on meds to do something like this." Ray tried to back off.

"This little piggy went to market." Felicity reached for Ray's belt.

"This little piggy can't be touched right now." Ray buttoned his pants as he tried to put Felicity back to bed but suddenly, Felicity whipped her head, hitting Ray in his eye as he yelped and while blinded, he put his hand into the bowl with the hot soup as he screamed in pain. "Aaah! It's hot! I put my hand in the hot soup!"

Ray grunted in pain as he held his bruised eye and was shaking his other hand which he had dipped into the hot soup.

"Hey, Ray, will you be so nice and bring me some mustard?" Felicity asked, oblivious of what she did, while Ray left the room, holding his bruised eye and shaking his wet hot hand.

The next morning, Oliver entered as he saw Ray with a bruised eye and bandaged hand as Oliver laughed while Ray was making himself a coffee. "Who gave you that shiner?"

"Let's just say hypothetically that a girl tells you something, while on painkillers, after you accidentally hit her earlier and she says that she might want to make out with you and you don't want to take advantage of her and it ends up with her accidentally hitting you back." Ray said as Oliver snickered, realizing what Ray was implying.

"Please, don't tell me that…"

Oliver got his answer, when Felicity entered, in her pajamas and bathrobe.

"Hey." Felicity smiled before noticing Ray's bruised eye. "What happened with your eye?"

"You hit me in the face with your head, remember?" Ray reminded, laughing.

Felicity laughed. "Very funny. But seriously, what happened?"

"Is your jaw OK?" Oliver changed the subject, noticing the bruise on Felicity's chin.

"Yeah, I can't even feel it." Felicity said as she approached the sink and poured herself a glass of water. "The doctor's got me so goofy on those meds, it's like it never happened."

"It's like it never happened." Ray whispered.

"But I sure got a chin shiner." Felicity said and Ray winced, while Oliver snickered, realizing they both accidentally hurt each other and in his mind were replaying thousands of scenarios, the next one more hilarious than the previous one.

"Don't say it." Ray growled as Oliver was laughing quietly.

Author's Note:

So, what do you guys think?

Please review and let me know if you have enjoyed this one-shot.

With regards

Bl4ckHunter