Mary Sues I Hate the Most
Disclaimer: I don't own Eragon or its Mary Sues. Well, I may own a few, but I hope not. The line about the angst being piled on thick is from The Mary Sue Alphabet from the Harry Potter fandom.
Mary Sues I hate the most.
In hell may they roast.
When them we see,
All others are OOC.
Rider!Sue has been seen a few times too many.
Her dragon has so little personality, it's uncanny.
She's better than the hero,
And to her, Galby is a zero.
Half-breed Sue is just as bad.
It's really quite sad.
Her mother's an elf
Who's like Mary herself.
Of Galby's daughters there are even more.
I guess he's somewhat of a male whore.
With Murtagh she'll break out of the keep,
And with him or Eragon she'll sleep.
As for Wanderer!Sue, we see her less,
Though she will always join Eragon and Murtagh on their quest.
But which one will she be?
You'll have to read and see.
Criminal!Sue
Joins the Varden crew,
Reforms her lawless ways,
And leaves behind her evil days.
Evil!Sue may wear the crown,
But a good Sue always brings her down.
Still, she'll seduce somebody
Before another gives her a run for her money.
As for Varden!Sue,
She'll win the war.
But will she die?
Maybe if pigs fly.
And as for Child!Sue, she can be cute,
So we're less likely to give her the boot.
But if she's the center of the story,
Reviews just may get gory.
Earth!Sue swears she just dropped in.
Shame it wasn't into the rubbish bin.
She's outright annoying,
Because he personality is so cloying.
Arya's sister we will most definitely see
Even though it's not canon to any degree.
And because she's better then her sister,
She'll no doubt steal her mister.
Slave!Sue wallows in self-pity
And occasionally recites some sad ditty.
The angst is piled on thick,
And it frankly makes me sick.
But who among this host
Do I loathe the most?
Why, it's Author!Sue,
Who's based on you.
So, how did you all like it? If I missed one, please tell me.