A Little Green
A/N: Just a little story that came to me today on St. Patrick's Day and I thought I would share it with you all. I hope it brings you all a smile as I send St. Patrick's Day blessings to you all from Ireland. :-)
Steve sat at his desk looking sheepishly into Mike's office hoping to see an improvement in his superior's mood. Since the time he had picked him up this morning he had been like a bear with a sore head. All he could glean so far from the few words he had managed to drag out of Mike's foul humor in the car was the fact that he hated St. Patrick's Day and all the " tom foolery" as he put it ,that went with it. Some of the guys from Homicide were going to join some of the other Officers down at Harry's Bar for lunch and then watch some of the parade to support the SFPD officers who were taking part but so far Steve hadn't plucked up the courage to ask Mike if he could join them. Things had been fairly quiet so far and all Steve had been assigned were the dreaded reports and his fingers were starting to ache and as lunch time approached his stomach was starting to rumble.
At five past noon, Norm, Bill and Lee stood up and put on their jackets and Norm called over to Steve.
"You coming Steve?"
Steve looked again towards Mike's office and sighed as he saw the thunderous face of Mike, speaking on the phone as he was giving whoever was on the other end a tongue lashing of the highest quality. As Mike slammed down the phone abruptly, Steve cleared his throat and gave up any hope of being allowed join the guys for the festivities.
"No .. ah I think I better stick around here and ... ah man the phones, you know?"
The three men exchanged a look between them and smiled knowingly at each other. Norm walked straight over to Steve's desk, grabbed him by the shoulders and bent down to speak in his ear.
"You haven't asked him yet have you?"
"Norm ... just lay off will ya?" Steve said laughing, knowing he had been found out and also knowing that Norm was going to have a field day with Steve's reluctance to ask Mike for the time off.
"Ask him kid. His bark is worse than his bite. Just march in there and ask him will ya?"
"No ... he's in dangerous form today Norm. He's already taken a few scalps this morning and I don't want mine to be next ... thank you very much. "
"Ok, suit yourself Kid. But you're gonna miss all the fun. And all those pretty Irish dancing girls ..."
Steve sighed heavily knowing Norm was right but on the other hand knowing Mike well enough to leave him well alone when he was in that mood.
"You three just go on ok? If I can get away I'll catch up with you ..."
"Come on guys ... Steve's too chicken ..." Norm announced and all three started making chicken noises and laughing.
Their laughing soon stopped as Mike arrived outside his office banging his door over as it opened.
"What's going on out here? he bellowed. "Last time I checked this was a Homicide Department and not a CHICKEN COOP!"
Steve stifled a laugh as Bill, Lee and Norm looked suitably chastised and Lee blurted out nervously.
"Sorry Mike, we were just fooling around. Anyway we're just heading out to lunch. We won't be long."
"Make sure you aren't! Just because it's St. Patrick's Day doesn't mean crime stops in this city you know?"
"We know Mike. " Bill answered nervously and then shot an apologetic look at Steve. "See you later Steve."
The three men then hurried clumsily out of the bullpen as they were followed by Mike's famous Stone glare. Steve was now grinning from ear to ear at how their teasing had backfired on them when he turned and saw Mike's glare directed at him now instead and his smile vanished immediately.
"What? What are you glaring at me for?"
"What was that all about?"
"What was what all about? " Steve feigned innocence hoping that Mike would take his foul mood back into his office with him and leave him to sulk over his reports and his missed fun lunch arrangements.
"Don't give me that butter wouldn't melt look. Why were they making chicken noises at you? Come on now. Spit it out buddy boy."
Steve shifted uncomfortably in his chair as he felt Mike's intense glare almost burning a hole right through him and he stammered.
"They said I was chicken because I wouldn't ask you ... " Steve trailed off unsure how to phrase the last bit of his answer and also not sure what response his honesty would be rewarded with.
"Because you wouldn't ask me what?"
Mike wasn't letting the subject drop so Steve swallowed hard and decided to get his telling off over with.
"Because I wouldn't ask you for time off to join them for lunch and to ... watch some of the Parade. There I said it. Are you happy now? And before you fly off the handle and chew me up and spit me out, I told them I wasn't going. Ok?"
Steve finished his explanation quickly and avoiding further confrontation, he spun back around in his chair and started typing again furiously hoping Mike would take the hint and return to his office. But Mike didn't move. His presence behind Steve was still palpable and Steve resisted the temptation to turn around and see what expression he had on his face. Mike stood looking at Steve's back and his expression softened. He walked closer and startled Steve who jumped, as Mike's hand landed on his shoulder. But he still resisted the temptation to turn around and continued typing, cursing the fact that in his current nervous state he was hitting some wrong keys and hoping that Mike wouldn't notice.
"Do you want to go with them buddy boy? "
Mike's tone was soft and warm and finally Steve felt able to turn around and look up at his friend and partner.
"Is that a trick question?" he asked lightheartedly, smiling his famous Keller smile.
Steve couldn't believe it when Mike actually laughed for the first time that day and patted Steve's shoulder.
"No ... no tricks. A simple question. Do you want to go?"
Steve studied Mike not quite believing him but deciding to play along anyway.
"Yes Michael ... I would like to go?"
Steve's use of Mike's full first name made Mike smile again and he answered back equally playfully.
"I see ... well tell me this Steven my boy ... Why do you want to go watch the Parade? I mean there's not a Irish bone in your body. Is there?"
Again Mike's use of his full first name upped the stakes and he felt braver at Mike's changing mood but all the same knowing he was taking a very big risk he answered bravely.
"No, no Irish bones but this body still has a little sense of fun. Watching the Parade would be fun Mike. You do remember what fun is don't you?"
"Ha Ha ... Very funny wiseguy. Yes I know all about fun but do you honestly regard watching people dressed up as Leprechauns and in green clothes and bowties marching around for one day every year as fun?"
Steve laughed at Mike's over simplistic view of the St. Patrick's Day Parade and answered.
"Yes Michael I do ... I mean what harm is there in it huh? It's just a bit of fun Mike, that's all. Some music, marching bands, nice things to look at ..."
"Baton twirlers? ... " Mike added thinking he knew what nice things Steve would most likely be looking at.
"Now, now Mike ... don't always judge me like that. I was talking about the floats that's all. " Steve said, his best "butter wouldn't melt" look returning .
"Yes, I'll bet you were ..." Mike said incredulously and then saw the neatly piled, newly typed reports on Steve's desk and changed the subject briefly. " Did you type all those up this morning?"
"Yes, actually I did ... not a bad morning's work huh? And if you don't believe me you can inspect my blistered fingertips." he added grinning like a Cheshire cat.
"Not bad at all buddy boy. Actually I'm impressed. Seeing all the other guy's desk you seem to have been the only one working hard this morning so ... Go on! Get out of here before I change my mind."
Steve's face fell in amazement.
"What? You're letting me go?"
"That's what I said didn't I ? ... So go on. Have fun buddy boy ... but be back by two o'clock Inspector ..."
"ALRIGHT! " Steve beamed and getting up he grabbed his jacket and pulled it on and started to head towards the door of the bullpen.
But something stopped him. Looking around he saw that Mike had returned to his Office and was sitting at his desk looking as fed up as ever. Apart from Art who was manning phones on a desk in the corner of the bullpen he was alone and Steve suddenly felt guilty going off to join the guys. He really wished that Mike would join them but knew he probably had a snowball's chance in hell of getting him to come. But he knew he had to try anyway. So thinking of a plan and gathering up his courage he walked back towards Mike's Office and knocked on the door.
Mike looked up from his paperwork and was confused when he saw his partner at the door. Beckoning him in, he sat back as Steve entered looking slightly nervous.
"What's the matter Steve? Why haven't you left yet?"
"Aren't you coming along?"
"ME?" Mike said laughing. "Haven't you listened to a word I've said all morning buddy boy? I dislike this holiday and I have NO intention of watching the Parade. So just run along and enjoy it yourself, ok?"
Steve put his plan B into action and with his best downhearted look he spoke dolefully.
"Well then to hell with it! I won't go either. "
With that, Steve exited Mike's office, closed the door behind him and returned to his desk leaving Mike sitting at his desk openmouthed at Steve's sudden announcement. Sitting down Steve placed a new piece of paper in his typewriter and started to type and counted down the seconds before he figured Mike would open his office door and come out to speak to him or at least he hoped that he hadn't read the situation wrong and that it would go down like that. As several seconds passed and Steve was beginning to feel like his plan had backfired, he heard Mike's office door open and smiled smugly to himself, while he waited for Mike's footsteps to arrive behind him.
Sure enough he heard them and then he heard the older man clearing his throat but he never looked up from his typing.
"You're not going now?"
"Nah, if you're not going ... then neither am I."
He could almost hear the cogs and wheels working in Mike's head behind him and knowing how much Steve wanted to see the Parade, he was probably feeling guilty for being responsible for him missing it so he waited patiently until he heard the words he wanted to hear.
"Ok, wiseguy. You win. I'll come with you but only because I'm hungry and I'm not going to promise that I'll watch the Parade. Ok?"
"Ok Mike ..." Steve said simply, standing up and smiling warmly at Mike as he waited for Mike to get his coat and hat.
As Mike came back out of his office, he stared accusingly at his grinning partner.
"Why am I getting the distinct impression that I've just been had buddy boy?"
"I have absolutely no idea Mike ..." Steve answered innocently as Mike playfully turned him around and pushed him towards the door and followed him shaking his head and smiling.
Steve and Mike caught up with the others and they all enjoyed a rather heavy lunch except for Mike who never stopped complaining as various people pushed past him in the heavily packed bar, dressed in various shades of green and laughing drunkenly as they toasted St. Patrick and various other things. After their nice meal, Steve patted his full stomach, stretched and looked at his watch as Norm announced that it was time to go check out the Parade. As they left the Bar and walked across to where the Parade was passing, Mike nudged Steve on the arm.
"I'm heading back to the Office. I'll see you later."
"Aw come on Mike. Stop being a grouch will you, please? Look the SFPD guys are coming up next. At least just stay and watch them, huh? For me huh? " Steve coaxed, using his best puppy dog eyes to maximum effect.
"Ok, ok... just our boys and that's IT!" Mike surrendered, not admitting it but rather enjoying watching Steve's almost childlike enthusiasm for the Parade. As a marching band passed and then a group of baton twirlers in scanty costumes passed by, Norm whistled loudly and as Mike turned to reprimand him he saw Steve staring admiringly at the girls too and frowned at the pair of them. Seeing Mike's disapproving look Steve blushed and spoke defensively.
"What? I was just admiring their twirling skills that's all ..."
"Of course you were buddy boy." Mike said chuckling at the young man's audacity.
While they waited for the baton twirlers to pass and for the SFPD band to step up , Mike stared across the other side of the road and spotted a small guy dressed as a Leprechaun slipping through the crowd picking people's pockets while they were distracted by the Parade. Seeing red at the blatant nerve of the pickpocket, Mike spoke to Steve.
"I don't believe it buddy boy!"
"Yeah I know, you'd think they'd feel the cold wouldn't you?"
Mike turned to look at his partner and saw his gaze still on the departing baton twirlers and he elbowed Steve playfully.
"OW! What did you do that for?" the young man complained.
"I wasn't talking about them! I was talking about the guy dressed as a Leprechaun over the far side of the road picking pockets." Mike said pointing towards the man he had witnessed.
"Where? Which Leprechaun Mike? There's at least five or six where you're pointing."
"THAT ONE!" Mike said again his voice riddled with a mixture of annoyance and exasperation and this time Steve saw the man in question himself dipping into a man's back pocket and stashing the stolen wallet into his costume pocket.
"Come on Steve, let's get him."Mike yelled and before Steve could stop him he had broken through the side barrier and was racing across the Parade's path towards the culprit.
"MIKE! You can't just go ... that way. Aw Man! " he moaned with little alternative but to follow suit.
As Mike pushed his way past trumpet players and drummers in his haste to catch the wrongdoer, Steve followed behind apologizing as he went.
"Excuse us ... Sorry about this ... We're Police Officers ... No need to panic ... Carry on."
Gradually the crowd spotted the two detectives and started staring at them wondering what was going on.
"YOU THERE? STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE. POLICE." Mike yelled loudly at the pickpocket.
As Mike approached the suspect, he saw his pursuers and pushing Mike backwards forcefully, he jumped the barrier and started running down the middle of the Parade. Steve reached out to try and catch Mike as he flew backwards and managed to stop him from hitting the ground too heavily but as he bent down to pick his partner up, Mike yelled again.
"Don't mind me. Just get him Steve."
Steve let go of Mike and ran at top speed after their suspect weaving expertly between the band members and baton twirlers, avoiding getting his eye taken out on at least two occasions as he ducked past the twirling sticks and he turned an even brighter shade of red as he almost collided with one twirler and grabbed her by the waist to stop her falling.
"Pardon me Ma'am " he said blushing as he righted her, handed her back her baton and sighing heavily he continued his pursuit.
Further along there were floats that the culprit ducked behind. Steve had lost ground on his suspect after his earlier near collision and cursed his luck as he lost sight of his perp. Luckily the crowd had been watching their chase and a man from behind the barrier whistled at Steve and pointed to a float on the other side that was moving slowly. Nodding his gratitude to the man he hunched down and spotted the green trousers and feet of his suspect on the other side of the float and smiled to himself.
Climbing up on the float as it moved slowly and getting angry looks from the furious people who were on it he hushed them quiet with a finger on his lips and a flash of his badge and peered over the other side of the float to see the suspect moving along beside it nervously looking all around him but not up at the float.
Steve smiled as he crept up closer and stowed his badge back in his pocket and then without warning, he launched himself down onto the suspect who had been totally taken by surprise. As he landed on the suspect a large gasp exploded from the crowd as the pair tumbled sideways, Steve being unfortunate enough to slam his side into the side barrier as it stopped their sideways tumble. Luckily the suspect had been winded so Steve had a few seconds to breathe through the blinding pain and getting up onto his knees painfully he roughly turned the suspect over and retrieving his handcuffs he clasped them onto his perp as he proceeded to read him his rights in pain filled gasps As he finished the right reading and stood up, dragging his prisoner up with him, the entire crowd erupted in appreciative applause as Steve blushed a deep shade of crimson and as Mike and two other officers arrived beside them. Mike beamed proudly and smiled as his partner got the recognition he deserved for his pursuit and successful arrest and laughed at the same time at Steve's quite obvious embarrassment.
"Get off me you lousy pig?" the suspect yelled frustrated at being caught and struggled against his restraints as Steve reached into the suspect's pockets and found numerous wallets and purses belonging to a number of people.
Shaking his head from side to side, still feeling slightly breathless, Steve spoke jokingly.
"Well, well, who's been a naughty Leprechaun then?"
The perp spat viciously in Steve's direction as Steve just narrowly avoided it and Mike angrily grabbed the perp by the arm and handed him to the other Officers.
"Book him Harris." Mike said before he turned back to Steve just in time to see his partner suddenly bend forward clutching at his stomach as a spasm of pain tore through his banged up side and Steve suddenly regretted his heavy lunch as a wave of nausea accompanied it.
Mike grabbed at his partner and steadied him, worried by his sudden sickly appearance.
"Steve? What's wrong?"
Steve looked up at Mike and spoke breathlessly through the pain.
"Hit my side ... when I tackled him ..."
"Ok Steve, take it easy. Let's find a medic and get you looked at. You did good buddy boy and think of it this way, not only did you get to watch the Parade but you also ended up being a part of it."
Steve glared at Mike at that statement suddenly regretting having insisted that Mike came along in the first place. As Mike guided a half bent over Steve towards a Medic on the sidelines he added mischievously.
"You know you were right Steve. I actually did enjoy this year's Parade but I'm even more impressed that you even tried to blend in buddy boy?"
Steve looked at his partner with a puzzled look, but feeling too sore and sick to figure it out himself he asked the inevitable question.
"How?"
"Well you even look a little green buddy boy." Mike added bursting out laughing as Steve groaned loudly at Mike's literally sick sense of humor and inwardly vowed that next year he would go and watch the Parade by himself!