A/N: Please, please, please don't kill me for writing this.
Summary: Basically, Draco abandoned his family for reasons undisclosed. Ten years later, he's forced to make a reappearance when Hermione dies. His return, however, is not welcomed, especially by his son, Scorpius. The weird thing is that he really, really believed that he, Draco Malfoy, deserved it.
The Really, Really Sad Truth
Draco Malfoy trudged up the stairs grudgingly. He could hear his own heartbeat sounding in his ears, and could almost feel his heart itself attempting to claw out of his chest. He stopped at the last step, before looking to his right and left.
To his right, he knew…had been their room. Their room for five years. To his left…his children's rooms. Last he'd been there, Sophie's bedroom had been a nursery. She was turning one. Scorpius's room was the one at the end of the small corridor. He headed for it first.
Hand on the door knob, he hesitated. He didn't really want to walk in and see his son after…ten years. He didn't want to see what he looked like, though, as he recalled every single day since he'd left, from the moment he woke up to the moment he slept, his son had his blond hair, and his grey eyes. Though, as he also recalled with much pain, he had the characteristics of his mother almost all the time – except when he was in what Draco would term as a "Malfoy" mood. He remembered the way his son's eyes would light up when he came home from work and reached for him, spinning him off the ground. He remembered the way his son would absolutely beam everytime he took him for a ride on his broom. He remembered the way his son would hide behind him whenever wary, clinging onto his pants. He remembered the way his son would laugh at his jokes.
Too many memories, Draco concluded. Too many memories that plagued his mind. He could not forget his son during the five years Draco had been a part of his life. In the same way, he had no idea what the boy was like now. Especially now.
Draco let go of the door knob. No, he was not ready to face this. Given the choice he probably would've faced this when his child was around twenty-years-old, and perhaps not so young, not so…ugh, was he really going to think this? – Not so damaged by what Draco had done.
Draco didn't want to see his son. He didn't want to see any trace of evidence that he had messed up big time. He knew it, it was a fact after all through his eyes, but to actually see the pain in another person's eyes…that would probably kill him.
Death jokes aside, he thought it over. If he didn't go to see Scorpius first, he'd go to see Sophie.
Ah, trickier.
Turning around, Draco stepped infront of Sophie's room, and looked at it. The flower pattern design on one side of the door that he had cast on it when she was born was still there. It looked just as it had the day he'd cast the spell. Nothing, not even ten years worth of time, had caused any defrayment.
His baby girl. She'd had his hair as well, but it had been barely showing. He'd left before she'd learned to talk. He didn't even know what her first word had been. He supposed it would have been 'Mama' or 'Ma' or something of the sort. No way in the world could it have had anything to do with him. What was she like, now, he wondered. He had literally no idea. Except for the fact that she'd had her mother's eyes. Those brown eyes that seemed to melt with warmth everytime she looked up at her parents. Draco shuddered at the thought of coming in contact with those eyes again. Given the current situation, he was almost sure that one look into them would send him weeping.
And, being the person he was, weeping was generally something he avoided like the plague.
Oh, forget it. Turning around, he headed for the stairs. He could not do this. Not yet. And not alone. He'd go down, join his mother who was having some tea, and then come up again later, with said mother, and meet the children. He could not do this alone. He would not do this alone. He would –
"Dad?"
Draco stopped, having taken his first step down the stairs. To his right was the wall. He could not see the source of the sound. But it was definitely Sophie. Merlin. So that was what her voice sounded like. Draco knew he'd never forget that now. Ironic, wasn't it? The first word she'd said within his range was 'Dad'. He hoped Merlin was enjoying this sick joke. Turning around, Draco heard her as she ran, stopping infront of him.
Oh my…
She had blond hair as well, but it was neither straight, nor bushy. It was…messy. Not messy, no. Just…somewhere inbetween the bushiness and the straightness. Like she had been caught inbetween his and her genes. She stared at him, yes, with those brown eyes. He felt himself choke back a…sob? No way. He wasn't going to go teary-eyed at this first acquaintance. She looked at him, almost in disbelief.
What was he playing at? He was glued to the floor, that's what it was. Glued to the floor, as though held by some jinx as he stared up at her form. Her hair was just below her shoulders. She was wearing a jumper Draco knew in his heart belonged to her mother. And maybe that was what broke him.
Seeing such a little form – his daughter – looking like she'd just been crying, with her cheeks shining with what he believed were dried up tears. Goodness, she looked small for a nine-year-old. She was almost ten, though, he reminded himself. She looked so beautiful. She looked like a mixture of him and her mother. He found himself gaping.
Had he really spent ten years away from her? Unable to protect her? Unable to be there for her?
His thoughts were brought to a frightening halt as she ran her hand down her arm, looking at him, breaking as well.
"S-s-sophie?" Draco himself stammered.
She nodded at him, almost too quickly.
A moment later, another figure came into the scene. He was much taller than Sophie, almost as tall as Draco. He had the same hair, the same eyes. His didn't portray the same emotions as Sophie though. True, his cheeks looked glazed with tears, but his eyes were hard. Cold. Angry almost. He stared at Draco dismissively, then said, voice icy, "You're here."
Draco's heart almost dropped at the sound of his voice. His son…
"Yeah, I am," he replied, trying to pull himself back towards reality. The gravity of the situation was hitting him. Hard.
"You should leave then," Scorpius sneered, walking away.
That time Draco's heart did drop. He stared at the spot where his son had been. Fifteen-year-old Scorpius, who back then would've been overjoyed at the sight of his father returning home, now willed him to leave.
His son didn't owe him any kindness, Draco thought to himself. His son didn't owe him anything. Didn't have any reason to be nice, or civil, or even respectful.
Sophie stared at him a little more, as though battling within herself whether to reach out to him, or to walk away. Embarrased, as the color rose to her cheeks, she ran, and he heard the sound of two doors slamming shut.
"Draco?" Another voice. Turning around, he found his mother, looking up at him expectantly.
"I – I have to go," he stammered, before taking off, grabbing his coat off the coathanger, and almost running out of the house. He strode, too fast for her to catch up. She called at him.
He apparated on the spot, leaving her alone infront of the house.
When he reached his apartment, he barely flinched, dropping more than sitting on his bed, his hands reaching up to cover his face as he thought furious curses towards the world, and wept. It had been too much. Ten years worth unintended faults. Merlin.
Scorpius placed a heavy hand on his sister's shoulder. She looked up at him, and caught his eye, before looking back at the new grave infront of them. It was an hour after the official burial, and they were still rooted to the spot, Sophie more than Scorpius. She looked back, and instead of staring at her mother's coffin, stared at her mother's tombstone. Emotions rushed back up her blood to her head, and she leaned against Scorpius, who, thankfully, provided much support.
"Scor?" she called out quietly.
He grunted in reply. Scorpius wasn't making much use with the words lately…ever since…ever since…Sophie could not bring herself to say it. Let alone think it. She held on to her brother tighter, and his gaze softened.
"What is it, Sophie?"
She almost snorted. Always her brother, never coming up with some smart way to shorten her name. Sophie. Always Sophie. Why, even her mother – no. It was too painful to think of that. Sophie held on even tighter after that.
"I miss her."
The last part came out almost in a sob. She turned at that point, and Scorpius gave her a hug with one arm. She felt a fresh wave of tears begin to fall down her cheeks as her brother rubbed her back comfortingly.
"It's going to be okay, Sophie," he told her quietly. "I promise."
"You promise?" she asked, sounding so much like the child she rarely attempted to be.
"Promise," Scorpius said. "You and me against the world, Sophie," he said.
She turned away, looking back at their mother's tombstone. "It's not fair."
"Life isn't fair."
Merlin, why was Scorpius being so morbidly impossible? Sophie almost lashed out.
"It used to be."
Scorpius snorted at her response.
"Do you mean the part between Draco Malfoy abandoning us and mum dying?" His voice shook slightly. Was it in anger? Or pain?
"Don't talk about dad like that."
"I have no father," Scorpius bit off shortly, settling the matter.
"You're being such a teenager, Scor."
"I'm fifteen, Sophie. What were you expecting?"
She let the topic drop, and the silence hovered over them.
"It's around a month to September," she sighed.
"So?"
"You'll leave for Hogwarts again," she said, turning to him once more, looking at him with teary brown eyes.
Oh, that, Scorpius thought.
"I'll be back for Christmas. You know how time flies, Sophie."
"It used to. I mean…what am I supposed to do, Scorpius? I'll be all alone. Mum – Mum's gone."
Scorpius inhaled deeply at the truth of his sister's words.
"Mum's gone," he echoed.
Draco watched them from afar. He didn't dare take a step forward throughout the entire thing. He didn't come close to even pay his last respects. He didn't want to see her face, with her eyes closed. No longer breathing. He'd watched her sleep countless times before, but now…now he was sure he wouldn't be able to take it. His own eyes teared up as things progressed. He saw his kids, in the front row, next to his own mother. He saw how Scorpius's hand would come to rest at Sophie's shoulder protectively.
He saw his own son try to fight back tears like any Malfoy would, but in the end he failed. His tears fell silently though, just a few, which he wiped away soon, the hard look coming back to his eyes. Just like on any Malfoy.
Merlin, Scorpius, if only you knew how sorry I am, Draco thought. How sorry I am that you turned this way. You used to be so…happy. So full of life. And now, now you're just like me.
Draco watched them, not daring to come out of his own little hiding place in the shades of the trees, until they left. At that point, he moved forward, each step dragging him deeper into the ground as he walked. Each step increasing the pain he bore on his shoulders. The guilt he carried in his heart. His eyes were already watering up, and he hadn't even reached the grave yet! He was a disgrace.
Finally, when he reached there, he broke down. There was no fighting it. No fighting at all. He dropped to his knees, there and then, convulsing in the sobs of a sorry man. He was sorry.
If he could, he would trade places with her. He would go down happily, knowing that his children would be happy with their mother. Their mother who did nothing wrong according to his books. Their mother who didn't deserve to die. In comparison to him – Draco Malfoy. The mark on his arm still burned him within, and that was enough evidence in itself as to why he deserved to go first.
"I'm sorry," he said, barely in a whisper. "I'm sorry, Hermione."
And the really, really sad thing about it was that he truly was.
A/N: Hey, guys. I'm considering keeping this as a one-shot, but I guess with enough coaxing I might go into stretching out his story. I have a possible plot played out in my mind. I've had this idea in my head for almost years now (over-reacting, much?) and finally decided that Dramione was the right couple to play it out for. If I do make this a more than one-shot (where has my grammar gone?) it will include certain flashbacks about their love, and what went wrong. And it'll include Draco as he tries to reconcile with his children, especially Scorpius. So, tell me what you think?
Starzunderthesky