Anyone else noticed how when one of the guys is one on one (not being dirty here) with an outside character, we almost always see the actual interactions, but hardly ever with Penny? I think the only complete scene with Penny, another character, and NONE of the four guys was her laundry room discussion with Alicia. So I decided to write something that happened, but we didn't see it. I do think it was better that way, but that's onscreen. This is a Fanfiction website.
I own…hmmm…nothing.
"Hi…Penny."
"Hey Stuart," she said, flashing him a big smile. He didn't see it. Her date was looking at his feet, the epitome of uncomfortable. "Come on, let's go."
"Great." He followed her down the stairs. "Um…you look nice."
"You do, too," she said, smiling again. This one he saw and he smiled back. The conversation continued on the way to the restaurant. It was mostly small talk, since Stuart still avoided eye contact. Penny kept pushing for him to look at her. Both of them felt slightly awkward, that much was obvious, but no matter, their friend had given them advice that both would do their best to follow to the letter. Penny watched Stuart for any sign that he was comfortable around her. He kept the eye contact to a minimum, and when Penny leaned over and kissed his cheek casually he met her eyes for a moment and then dropped them. She would never have thought that putting pressure on him would help, but that's what Leonard had told her to do, and Leonard always meant well.
When the food arrived, they kept up their act, Stuart remembering to take things slow and Penny pushing him for more-more eye contact, more conversations. The waiter brought them wine, and Penny kept draining her glass, encouraging Stuart to do the same. Both of them knew alcohol lowered inhibitions, but perhaps that was for the better. Perhaps it would help both of them relax and be themselves. The small talk continued, but it got louder and was accompanied by more drunken giggles as the evening progressed. At one point Penny gave a loud hoot at something Stuart said and four other couples turned to look at them. "So so sorry!" She laughed her apology.
They had drained an entire bottle of wine by now. Stuart was finding it harder to act shy and quiet, but Leonard told him to, and if he wanted a shot with this woman, he had to play the part his friend had given him. But then he began to think that maybe he'd done it enough-she was clearly encouraging him, and as the wine kept vanishing from the second bottle she was getting more and more flirty.
When the dinner finished the two went to his car. When they reached it, Stuart held the door for Penny, and then got into the driver's seat before he realized something. "I shouldn't drive."
"Yeah," Penny said, sounding as wasted as she was. "We might hit something." She held her hands out in front of her as if she was holding a steering wheel, and then imitated a crash, complete with sound effects. The couple giggled.
Suddenly the tone changed. They looked at each other for a moment, and Penny leaned over and kissed Stuart hard on the mouth. He twisted in the seat, kissing her back.
He couldn't believe his luck. He had sure been right going to Leonard for help-what a great friend! What you do and say when drunk, you want to do and say while sober, and here they were! They were completely into it now, and it seemed, for a moment, as if there would be no going back.
That's when it all went to hell. He didn't even have to sneeze. The very person who had given Stuart the advice he needed to get to the make-out session had ruined it all.
Leonard. Leonard had ruined it. And why?
Well, because…that's what she said.
Those jokes get really old after a while (I have a friend who you can no longer have a conversation with, because that's her response to anything you say) but hey…this time, she really did!