Welcome to Juli's incredibly history-geeky mind. Yes, I did just write a oneshot based on the biggest wars in American history. I'm that kind of person. Maybe I can get extra credit for it.

The title is based on the song "How You Survived The War" by The Weepies.

I don't own Grey's Anatomy (sad), and I don't own any of the wars (happy).

The Seven Years' War

There had been a period of salutary neglect at the beginning. She hadn't cared what the man did, because he wasn't under her tutelage. It didn't matter that as an attending, technically she was responsible for the behavior of every intern. He was Mark Sloan's protégé and clone, and, well, she really couldn't care less about Mark Sloan, be him cloned or otherwise.

And then he fired the first shots. This was no war over a simple disagreement as they claimed. This was all about who would come out on top. This was about territory. And she couldn't resist a territorial fight. She had utter faith in her ability to win. After all, one didn't become the best in her field without fighting a few battles.

The war seemed to wage forever. He was forever insubordinate and rude to her. She was cold and sarcastic. She constantly sent him to work scut. Anything to get him out of her sight, anything to punish him for his lack of respect.

Eventually, it seemed she won. She took her territory and forced him to submit to her will. It was a brilliant win and the future seemed to sparkle like diamonds.

The Revolutionary War

As they got to know each other more, it became nearly impossible to keep her rebel intern under control. So she tried to make him pay for the energy he had sapped from her. She loaded him with even more work than was usual for an intern. She forced him to work long hours and do tedious tasks. She came this close to forcing him to fetch coffee or food, but she caught herself. There was no way she was allowing herself to become Mark Sloan.

Finally, he managed to piss her off so much that she just snapped. Even though she knew it would backfire, she decided upon the Coercive Acts as a plan of action. "Congratulations, Karev," she smirked. "Your ass is mine until I say otherwise."

He continued to struggle under her firm hand, and finally one day broke free. She snapped and released him from her services. She told him to enjoy Plastics and sent him off. He could deal with himself. She was done with him.

The Civil War

He hadn't liked the idea of falling for her. In fact, he hated it. He hated the way she treated him. He hated the way she would smirk when she was right (and she always was). He hated that she thought she was better than him. All in all, he couldn't find a reason he should like her.

But then she had started to let him on surgeries. She had started to show him that if she thought she was better than him, it was only because, well, she was.

So when he became aware that Mark Sloan, his idol, was nothing more than an incredible jackass, and that Addison Montgomery fought his advances and insults every single day, he gave in.

He gave Mark Sloan a vanilla latte.

World War I

She fought the idea of getting involved. She very much disliked the idea of getting involved in the war against him or with him or whatever. But he gave Mark Sloan a vanilla latte. He gave Mark Sloan a vanilla latte because Mark Sloan had been rude to her. It was the best thing anyone had ever given to her.

So she got involved. She kissed him in a bar. It wasn't the smartest idea, but he had provoked her. She hadn't meant to get involved, but that steaming liquid caffeine had sealed the damn deal. She joined the Allies and fought.

And he nearly decimated her. He dragged her into a supply closet and yelled at her. He told her things that no man had ever said to her. By the end of his tirade, she was so tired. She didn't know what to do. She was fairly new to this whole war thing. She didn't know how to respond. But she went and she fought back, and at the end of the whole thing, she emerged victorious. At the end of the day, she had a bet with a man he despised and she was still stronger than he could ever dream of being.

World War II

There was a short interlude of peace. They actually worked well together. They still argued; they argued like hell. But at the end of the day it wasn't Yang and Burke or even Meredith and Derek that people were citing as the dream team. No, that title clearly went to Montgomery and Karev (known in some circles as Satan and Evil Spawn). And then the ferry crash.

The ferry crash was too multifaceted to be considered a good or bad thing. They became closer than ever. If she went missing, he would notice. He'd never told such a complete truth before.

And then Ava. Ava happened and she drove a wedge between them even as her case caused them to work even more closely together.

When the bomb was dropped about his possible entanglement with Ava, she lost it. "Do I have another Denny Duquette situation on my hands?" she had practically screamed before shoving him into an on call room and having her way with him. It was quick, it was dirty, and it wasn't her usual style. But now she was involved and she would give it her all.

Then he had returned fire with the biggest bomb he could find. A simple invitation to her hotel room turned down, the simple phrase "you're not my girlfriend" forever imprinted on her heart.

So she went and she discovered the best way to destroy him. And without apology, she left.

The Unwinnable War

And now she's returned. Not for long, and certainly not for good. But he looks at her and asks her how long she's staying. She can't give him an answer.

It's not long before Montgomery and Karev are back. He's become humbler, more willing to learn. She can't pass up the chance to teach such a willing secret. It's one of her weaknesses.

He notices that she's different. He had told her he would notice if she went missing, and he was right. He had noticed. He had agonized. And now she's back and he's noticing that she's changed. She's more subdued. She's not the same fiery spirit he once knew. She's been beaten down. He hates to think about his hand in her destruction.

He finds her at Joe's. She looks exhausted. "You're different," he comments.

"I am," she replies. "So are you."

He shrugs. "It happens," he says.

"It does." They sit in silence. Finally she says, "You got married."

"I did."

She swallows a lump in her throat. "Good for you."

"You think so?" he asks. She nods, not trusting herself to speak. "Because I don't."

Her eyes widen in surprise. Those eyes he's suddenly certain he could get lost in. Then, just as abruptly as his confession, he stands up and leaves.

She sighs. Just another chapter in the war they've never seemed to have stopped fighting. And for some reason, she still thinks it's worth it to keep fighting.

Hope you enjoyed it enough to take time out of your busy schedule to review!

-Juli-