Elizabeth, honestly, are you eating for two these days?
Alice Cooper's words rolled around in Betty's mind, leaving her burning with shame at the thought of every head at the dinner table snapping up to look at her. Polly had pulled her aside and told her to pay no mind to what their darling mother had to say but that was the problem: Betty always listened to the words Alice Cooper uttered, both good and bad. And lately, they had been pretty bad. Sighing, Betty stood in front of her mirror, twisting and turning her body at different angles to see if she could see what had bothered her mother so much.
Eventually, she gave up scrutinizing herself and made a vow to wake up an additional hour earlier than normal and go for a very long, very calorie burning run the following morning. It wasn't much but it was a start. And that was good enough for her.
XXX
Her alarm went off at four-thirty sharp and Betty was suddenly wide awake upon pressing her palm down on the off button. Pushing herself up from her bed, she stood up and made her way to her chest of drawers where she pulled out yoga pants and one of her dad's old college sweaters, before slipping into her tennis shoes she left by the foot of her bed. Throwing her hair up into a tight ponytail, Betty made her way down the stairs quietly, careful to not wake up anyone else in the house. Then, she was outside, the cool air tickling her face.
XXX
As Betty's feet hit the pavement, every word that ran through her mind was Alice's beratements, tantalizing her to run faster, harder, further. She ignored the stitch in her side in favor of finishing strong. The streets were quiet at this time and, while she knew it was a relatively safe town, Betty stayed tucked close to the road, head up, and eyes peeled. When her hour was up, she had managed to loop back to her house, out of breath and sweating. She took a moment to calm her erratically beating heart, knowing that no matter how much her mother would approve of this morning run, Betty still needed to present herself as a lady.
Once she was absolutely certain she had her breathing under control, Betty opened her door quietly, letting herself enjoy the coolness of the front foyer.
"Where have you been?" Polly's voice sounded surprised, and Betty looked up.
"Oh, hey. Nowhere. I just went for a run, Pol," Betty replied, and Polly quirked an inquisitive eyebrow at her.
"And since when do you workout before the sun is up?" Polly queried, and Betty shrugged.
"Just felt like changing things up a bit this morning," she remarked.
"This wouldn't have anything to do with what was said at last night's dinner, would it?" Polly asked, and Betty quickly shook her head.
"No, I've been meaning to do a bit more cardio each day. Cheerleading practice is good for core strength, but running helps clear my mind," she lied, superstitiously crossing her fingers behind her back.
Polly assessed her before nodding her head. "Alright. You better go shower before you're late for breakfast."
Betty sighed but nodded. Breakfast. How was she supposed to get around Alice's condescending tone this morning?
XXX
When she was ready for school, Betty went back down stairs to the smell of fruit and pancakes. Opting out of the pancakes completely, Betty grabbed a handful of fruit before glancing at her mom.
"I've got to go edit something Juggie wrote for the paper. I'll be home tonight," she said, and Alice waved her off. It was that simple.
XXX
In the coming weeks, Betty would find herself falling into an obsessive routine. Wake up every morning at four-thirty, go for an hour run around the town, get back home, manage a few pieces of fruit, and then bolt from the house, where she wasn't under the watchful eye of her sister. (Or the scrutinizing one of her mother, for that matter.) Once she got to school, she'd be free of worries about having to eat in front of people. Archie and Veronica were wrapped up in themselves; Kevin and Moose were always off in some unused classroom, claiming they needed some time together during lunch; and Jughead was busy with the Serpents. No, she was doing just fine. Until she wasn't.
The first time it happened, she had stood up too fast from her desk in the office. One minute she was standing up, the next minute she was peering into the eyes of one worried looking Toni Topaz.
"Betty? Are you okay?" Toni asked from where she was crouched down next to her. Betty, who couldn't ignore the tremors in her hands, nodded faintly.
"I'm fine, stood up too fast," she managed. Toni eyed her suspiciously but nodded, nonetheless.
"Here," she said, reaching into her bag and pulling out a package of crackers. "Eat these."
Betty looked at the crackers, then Toni, then the crackers again before exhaling shakily.
"Thanks, Toni," she said, managing to be able to take a bite off one cracker. Toni was satisfied and left Betty alone for the rest of the afternoon.
The second time it happened, there was a bigger audience.
Jughead, Veronica, and Josie were all at Pop's, enjoying their usual Friday night meal while Betty was sipping on a water and barely managing a salad. When she had her fill, she excused herself, and went to walk out, but found herself on the ground once more. When she came to, it was to see Jughead and Veronica staring at her in concern.
"How long was I out?" Betty asked.
"I think the better question is, "when's the last time you ate something of substance?" Jughead asked softly. She looked at him, noting the concern swimming in his orbs. Jughead and Betty had always walked the line of, "should they or shouldn't they", something all their friends thought they should. She just didn't want to bring him into the mess that was her family. She sighed.
"Juggie, you literally just saw me eat a salad," she reminded him.
"Correction: I saw you picking at a salad and gulping down water like you have been deprived of it for days," he murmured gently. At this point, he looked at Veronica, who nodded and stood up.
"Get her home safely, okay?" Veronica asked, and Jughead nodded, wrapping an arm around Betty's waist and helping her to stand up. Once she was comfortable on her own two feet again, he loosened his grip and they walked out of the shop and towards his motorcycle.
Once they were situated on it, Betty wrapped her arms around his waist and they were off into the night, wind kissing their cheeks tenderly.
XXX
The days passed and Betty began to fade more and more. Her mother was pleased, that much was clear. However, when she sat down at the lunch table, it was to an unusually somber group.
"What's wrong?" Betty asked immediately, looking at each of her friends in turn.
"Where's your food, Betts?" Jughead asked quietly, and she bit her lip.
"I had a big breakfast," she lied, but he shook his head.
"I talked to your sister. She says you barely manage a handful of fruit after an hour-long run and then you're out the door," he said, and she sighed. Traitor.
"What do you want me to say?" Betty asked in a small voice.
"We want you to say if you have a problem or if there's anything you want to talk about," Cheryl said gently, and Betty shook her head, swallowing the lump that had lodge itself in her throat.
"Nothing to talk about," she said.
"Betty, you look like a fucking stick," Archie said, voice hard. Betty jumped at his calloused tone but made no attempt to rebuke him for it.
When they could tell she wasn't going to say anything else, Veronica spoke up. "Sleepover, my place. All are invited."
"Oh, no, I…" Betty trailed off, wishing Veronica wasn't going to back her into a corner.
"All are invited," Veronica reiterated firmly, giving her a hard look. Sighing, she nodded.
XXX
The group was all there by the time Betty arrived at Veronica's, even Jughead. She didn't miss the snacks that were laid out – noting that none fell under a healthy category. Sighing, she pushed her duffel bag higher up on her thin shoulder, noting the way it dipped into the valley between her neck and shoulder blade. She should feel concern for that but all she felt was her mother's praise.
She placed her bag on Veronica's bed and joined the group in the living room where Archie forced a plateful of pizza into her hands.
"God Archie, give me a minute to get adjusted," she snapped, and he rolled his eyes.
"Just eat it, Betty," he said, and she shook her head stubbornly.
"No."
"Betty, I swear – ",
"I said no, Archie," Betty snapped, pushing the plate back into his hands.
"Betty what the hell is going on with you?" Cheryl demanded, brows furrowed in concern.
This wasn't happening. They weren't ganging up on her. They weren't, they weren't, they weren't. She trapped her palms with her nails, grounding herself to the life preserver they provided.
"Will you all just shut the fuck up for a minute?" Jughead asked, scowl on his face. They looked at him, the only one in the room who wasn't barricading Betty in a metaphorical cage. He looked at her for a long moment, and she him. They understood each other on a level that most people didn't and she suddenly knew he understood her exhaustion.
"Come talk with me, Betts," he murmured, holding his hand out to her. She wanted to shout at him; tell him she didn't need to be placated. However, that exhaustion that had crept into her bones was weighing down on her heavily and she didn't have the damn energy to argue anymore. She nodded, accepting his hand and allowed him to lead her to Veronica's bedroom. Once there, she sat down on the bed and he sat down backwards in Veronica's chair. They looked at each other for a long moment.
"Well?" Jughead asked softly.
Betty said the only two words that she knew would convey what she was feeling. "My mother."
She heard his sharp intake of breath and looked at him to notice a fire burning in his eyes.
"My mother -," she began.
"Does not have your best interests at heart, Betty," he interrupted her.
She looked at him for a moment.
"It's too much," she said.
"What is?"
"The pressure to be the person she cannot," she said. "I feel this weight around my heart every time she says something to me and it just clenches my heart tighter and tighter until it's three times too small."
"Betty, hon, why didn't you just say something?" Jughead asked softly.
"It's too much. I can't breathe," she muttered, feeling the weight of her mother's cold words crushing her. "I try so hard to be good enough for her and it's never enough. No matter what."
Jughead got up and went towards the bed, bending down on his knees and placing his hands inside of hers.
"That's why you have us to help you breathe," he murmured, and that was the permission she was looking for to let herself fall. She nodded, letting the first tear fall, followed in quick succession by a second and third.
"I want to run away, to where she can't get to me."
"Let me run with you," he replied, and she nodded, heart a little least constricted.
"Thank you," she said.
They didn't say anything else as they leaned towards one another, allowing their lips to meet in a chaste kiss. Betty reveled in it; reveled in the warm blanket of safety she found herself cocooned in. She was home. All was as it should be.
Author's note: This one was more personal. Hope you enjoy. Reviews are lovely.
Xxx