Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of its characters sigh
Author's Notes: AU, Kyuubi attacked, but Yondaime is still alive and taking care of Naruto, but he is having trouble balancing work and talk care of his son who is almost two years old. He is looking for a babysitter…
Chapter One: Jiraiya
"Naruto doesn't talk much, even though he is physically active, but it's easy to tell what it is he is trying to say through his body language. Now, there's formula in the cupboard, extra bottles and nipples with it. Lunch is in the icebox. Don't worry; it's food that he will eat. He can't have more then 1 bottle of formula, but he can have all the juice and water that he wants and he'll eat again around noon." Yondaime said, a little panic showing in his voice. This father did not like leaving Naruto alone, but he did have to go back to work…without Naruto. The Third said that he needed to find a babysitter because Naruto was no longer allowed in the office. Even though it was cute, running around naked with a diaper on his head was not very good… at least when there weren't any delegates from other villages there.
"Don't worry about it," Jiraiya said, waving Yondaime off. "Leave everything to me; Naruto is in good hands."
"Okay, but if you need me, just send a toad to the Hokage Tower." Yondaime said, as an ANBU member had to 'help' force the Forth Hokage out the door. "I'll be back by sundown," was the last thing that was heard before the door closed and Jiraiya was left alone with the almost two year old Naruto who was playing with a toad plushy quite happy and oblivious to anything else going on.
Jiraiya went and picked the kid up, smiling at the child and said, "Well kid, you want to go and have some fun?" His smile held a different meaning, but Naruto didn't notice it and just smiled in response.
Jiraiya packed Naruto's diaper bag, which was orange and put Naruto in his matching orange jacket and buckled him into his matching orange stroller. Sure, it looked cute, but really, that student of his was obsessed with having matching items, and in one of the worst colors ever. But, that was just Jiraiya's opinion, and he decided not to comment about it. After all, the orange might just be a blessing, since it was very eye catching.
"Oh yeah kid! It's time for Jiraiya to teach you to pick up girls! For research purposes only, of course." Jiraiya said, laughing, his eyes and face giving away his true meaning. It was very common knowledge that women loved men with babies, and the cute kid in orange would defiantly get him some.
"Wait! What's that smell?" Jiraiya asked out loud, really to no one as he sniffed the air to find something smelly, something smelly that was coming from a Naruto who looked like he just stepped in something nasty.
"You kid, you really cramp my style you know that?" Jiraiya said, sighing, but at least he did it now instead of later.
The two finally set out around mid morning, with Jiraiya pushing Naruto along in the stroller. He planned to take Naruto to the market place, were the lonely pretty house wives would be out shopping for groceries. A perfect place to pick up some women- correction, to begin his research for the day.
An hour later Jiraiya was close to being in heaven, as he sat at an outside table in a small café. Girls were leaning around Jiraiya and Naruto, cuddling up to the two boys. They were all talking about how cute Naruto was, and how nice and sweet Jiraiya was for helping take care of the little boy.
Naruto was okay with the attention too, since some of the ladies were playing with him and his toy toad. It was a nice couple of hours, but he was getting bored, and already finished his bottle of juice, and Jiraiya said it wouldn't be good for Naruto to drink more so close to finishing off his first bottle. Naruto wanted to go and walk, or crawl (since he was faster at crawling then walking).
So, to grab the old man's attention, he did his best to turn around and climb up Jiraiya's cloths and began to play with the older man's hair, pulling it as hard as he could.
The women thought it was really cute and Jiraiya knew what it meant, the boy was getting restless. 'Best not bite the hand that feeds,' he thought, and bidding the ladies farewell, after paying for his tea, the two men (as the waitress called them) headed for their next destination, the park. The park where Naruto would be free and he could go off and play. Nannies, Jiraiya had learned, were more then willing to give advice to novice babysitters like himself. Oh yeah, they both would get some fun this time.
They got to the park, and Jiraiya laid out the orange blanket covered in tiny green frogs. Jiraiya feed Naruto some cheese and crackers along with apple slices without the peels (His student was seriously pampering his son), attracting the attention of several nannies that came over to investigate the two. They thought Naruto was so cute with his blonde hair and bright blue eyes.
Once the boy was done eating, Jiraiya cleaned him up, and making sure that the boy knew he was not to wonder beyond the other side of the sandbox, Jiraiya let the little boy go off and play.
Naruto went and sat down in the sand box and began to play with a chubby kid who was making some kind of mountain thing out of the sand. They talked to each other in their little kid voices and Naruto began to help put sand on the mountain.
Jiraiya remembered to keep an eye on the child, but most of his attention stayed on the women he was talking to, all of them talking about the different types of food that the children liked and the different cloths and toys, and all the troubles that they went through everyday- al the while giving advice to the male novice, pitting him when the time was right. 'And when was the time never right,' Jiraiya thought.
Over the next couple of hours, children and nannies came and went, all the while Naruto continues to play in the sand box, where the one mountain thing became several mountain things, with small sand bridges connecting them together.
Naruto was not one to "talk to adults" expect for a few baby words, but he was defiantly capable of talking to other children his age. It was cute, but also very weird, not that that bothered Jiraiya. He didn't really think much of it, except that it gave him sympathy from the ladies.
Kids, especially babies were so lucky to get the attention of the ladies. If he was a child again, oh the knowledge that he could gain from it! Being able to get a hug from a big-breasted woman with no chance of being slapped and called a pervert! That really must be what heaven is like!
Jiraiya sighed, lost in his perverted thought, partially aware that the ladies all left and that Naruto came back to curl up beside the sitting man, resting up against the older man to take a nap. Jiraiya took this time to drink some sake while he let his thoughts gather and wrote himself some notes as reminders for his next book.
That's when it hit him, the perfect plan to get himself some attention from the pretty ladies that he oh so loved. And with Naruto sleeping, he wouldn't have to worry about watching him. It was fool proof.
"Jiraiya-sensei!" Yondaime said, trying to keep himself from yelling and upsetting his son who just work up from his nap. "What were you thinking?!"
"I was gathering research materials for my next book," was all that Jiraiya said. He didn't really want to explain why he had been arrested in the park- how was HE really suppose to know that that lady was an Uchiha? Really, she didn't wear any clothing that had their family symbol on it, like all other Uchiha's wore.
"Gathering research materials!" Yondaime said angry, "You were using my son to pick up girls!"
"Well, in my own defense," Jiraiya said, "Your son is quite the chick magnate- I've got several numbers and LOTS of information."
"Jiraiya-sensei," Yondaime said, managing to get himself under control again. "Do I have to remind you as to WHY you've been arrested?"
Jiraiya did not bother to answer at first, he merely looked away and rubbed his sore cheek where the lady slapped him and destroyed his illusion. "No," the older man replied, sulking.
"I really hoped, wished, WANTED, to be able to leave Naruto in your care, but it seems that that is not the case." Yondaime said, sighing sadly. "You are a great teacher, but a terrible babysitter."
Naruto finally woke up from his nap, to see his father; he climbed off the bench that he was sleeping on (not that he knew how he got on the bench in the first place and he didn't really care that he was in some strange place with all the mean looking people on the walls). He wobbled over to his father and pulled on his pant's leg. He was getting thirsty again and wanted to go home.
"Naruto! Your daddy's right here!" Yondaime said cheerfully, picking up his son and giving him a really big hug. "You always make my day," he continued with Naruto returned the big hug with a small one of his own.
"Now, lets get you home, and I promise to find you a better babysitter next time." The father said, as his son smiled brightly at him.