A/N: Alright, so this is my first time posting any stories online. I have written plenty, But usually they just get pushed back into storage in a musty file on my computer. XP I do plan on making this a series, however I would appreciate some feedback letting me know that someone is interested and listening. Warning: this has not been proofread. I do not currently have any friends in the fanfic community, but comments are always appreciated. If anyone would like to perhaps remedy my problem, so not hesitate to say so. ^^ Okay, I know this is overly long, but it is my first time after all, cut me some slack. And comment!
There is a single bathtub that occupies a small space within Serenity, a simple brass basin that rests on four sturdy legs. It's nothing special, but will last 'till the end of days and is large enough to comfortably accommodate two. For this reason it is only used once or twice during landfall- dependant on the amount of time the crew will be staying, but seeing as how they never make to stay long, once or twice is a fair ground rule, and only during landfall. It is hard to come by hot water in any case, and enough to fill the tub is absurd unless planet side.
For this reason there is a very strict and widely revered bathing schedule on the Serenity. Everyone gets a turn and sometimes it takes months for that turn to come by. Simon is hugely grateful that his turn has finally come around again. Most everyone has left the ship for the few nights that they will be here, but he has stayed behind- finding an urgent need for the now precious alone time and piece that is rather scarce on the ship.
The tub is filled as full as possible and steam rolls off the top. Simon strips, discarding the clothes in a wanton manner- able to do away with the calm and collected façade he works so hard to keep intact. With a prolonged hiss he slides into the water, letting the warmth envelop and numb him. Sighing deeply he sinks into the water, allowing only his nose on up to remain untouched. His breaths come out strained as he tries desperately to shut down his brain.
But he is praised for his ability to always run at such a high function. It is never quiet inside his head and it nearly drives him wild. He can see quite easily how his sister drove off the brink. He is always analyzing, deciphering- everything under close scrutiny. He just wants it to stop. A great wave of emotion flows over him and out of instinct he forces it down. He has been taught from the time that he was quite young just how useless and burdening emotions are.
He owes his current predicament to this upbringing. For months now he has begun feeling detached, weightless- as though if he is not tied down he will simply float away. Right now he stays for River, she needs him. But sometimes he finds that he will suddenly realize he's not sure where he is or what has been going on for the last half hour. The frequency with which this happens has been growing steadily and no matter how he tries to fix it, he can't stop this feeling that he's fading.
The water relaxes and he can feel the stress slowly leaking out. He focuses on the feel of the warm water penetrating his nerves. Sighing contentedly he starts to feel the familiar slip. As he sinks lower and lower into the water he is becoming less and less aware of what is going on around him. His head slips under and he revels in the clarity that surrounds him so completely. Everything down here is so calm and peaceful. The water flows effortlessly, the push and pull soothing. He could stay here- possibly forever. Here, away from it all…. He lets out the last jet of air within his lungs unaware of just what that entails.
His mind is sinking deeper, nearly at the bottom where it will finally quiet. But then, pain- searing pain. He vaguely feel a solid weight pressing down on him- insistent and panicked. Then everything seems to flood back with the water and bile that rises out of his chest and out his mouth. It takes a while for the fuzz to clear from his vision and brain. He sees Jayne sitting close to him- eyes puffy, lips wet, breathing labored. It takes a minute for this to sink in.
Jayne begins to yell at him, his arms making violent gestures, but he can't quite make out the words. He watches the large man's mouth as though it were a complex puzzle trying desperately to remember any kind of language. Then he watches dazedly as Jayne's large hand flies and smacks him in the face with a resounding slap. Everything snaps into place then. "Why you Ching-wah tsao duh liou mahng! Don't you ever do that to me again, Dong ma? What were you thinking? Couldn't you feel your gorram lungs screamin'? Hwoon dahn." he rubbed his face stressfully, closed his eyes and murmured something incoherent into his tightly folded hands.
"T-to you?" he's not sure why, but that is what he catches. He rubs tenderly at his stinging face and stares at the unfamiliar state Jayne is in, sitting before him. His cheeks are burning with shame- he feels so stupid and… useless.
"I-I meant ta yer sister. You're the only one in this 'verse that can take care o' her and you know it." he turned away quickly and started massaging his neck awkwardly. "You might wanna cover up now." he gestured with his chin and tried to throw a sneer at Simon, but neither of them believed it for a second.
Realizing for the first time that he was, in fact, naked Simon hurriedly grabbed the towel he carried in with himself and wrapped it around his waist. When he turned around again Jayne was already shouldering through the door. Simon ran a trembling hand through his hair and let out a tired sigh, falling back against the bulkhead. What the hell just happened?