(A/N: Okay. So my weirdo-freak sister Lovely SOS is making me write this oneshot. Apologies to my Seddie fans who aren't getting what you want, it's HER fault *glares at sister* Anyway this is inspired by both the promos I saw for SWAC where Tawni has too much spray tan, and the BTR episode "Big Time Fever" where James turns equally orange. Here we go...)

Disclaimer: I do not own Sonny With a Chance, Big Time Rush, any crossover they might have, or any of the products, fake and real, mentioned here.

Everyone knows I'm the prettiest girl in Hollywood, and of course, the whole world. That means you should automatically know who I am! That's right, it's me, Tawni Hart. As we both can see, I obviously don't need any help in the beauty department, but that doesn't mean I don't like to have a little fun with cosmetics. For instance, my trademark discontinued Cocoa Moco Cocoa lipstick that I adore.

Right now, I'm really into this stuff called "Golden Goddess." Stop making that face at me! It's NOT just a spray tan! It totally makes me look like I'm glowing even more than usual, which is really hard to do. Plus, it's winter now, and I cannot afford to look pasty. Urgh, pasty. It even sounds horrifying.

So now I'm on my way into the local drugstore, and I'm heading straight for the glow-enhancing aisle (it's not a spray tan! My tan is real!). But wait a minute- there is this guy standing there in my way, loading up a huge basket full of Barracuda Spray in Mangerine. Why, oh why, does this dude look like a Cheeto snack?

I tap him on the shoulder. "Uh, do you realize that you currently resemble a box of Cheez-its?" I ask him with a snort. "You'd be doing EVERYONE a favor if you would put those 'sprays' back on the shelf. Now."

He turns to face me. "What are you talking about, lady? And don't you know who I am?" He does this weird jazz hands thing next to his face. "Recognize 'the face'?"

"No..." I say slowly. Then I flip my hair. Underneath his orange, he's not that bad looking. Shame he'll never be as pretty as me! "I know you know who I am though. Duh."

He stares blankly at me. "The only thing I've noticed about you is that you called me orange, yet you look like an Oompa-Loompa."

WHAT? That's INFURIATING! "Are you calling me a fat little man with green hair?" I yell at him.

"Maybe I am!" he yells back.

"You'll be sorry one day that you insulted Tawni Hart! I'll make SURE that you never make it in this town, doing whatever it is you're going to decide you want to do!" He has made me really angry considering I just met him.

"And you'll be sorry one day that you insulted JAMES DIAMOND!" he shoots back. Then he does a double take. "Did you say you're Tawni Hart?"

"Did you say you're James Diamond?" I ask, shocked.

"Yeah, I am," he says kinda bashfully. "But now I know you're way more famous than I am...I can't believe I'm meeting Tawni Hart!" he says, getting excited suddenly. "My friends are gonna flip when I tell them what happened."

"Well... don't get a big head or any thing, but I've heard Big Time Rush's songs. You guys are really catchy," I admit.

"Sorry I called you an Oompa-Loompa," James winces.

"Sorry I compared you to a cheese cracker," I say. "We're both really orange, aren't we? This isn't a natural color for a human being."

"I guess you're right. What do you say we ditch this stuff and hang out at the Palm Woods pool instead?" James offers.

I smile. "Now that's a good idea."

The two of us link arms, and he escorts me out of the store. "Did you hear about the new hair dye, though?" I ask as we walk outside. James just shakes his head and grins.

(A/N: So, there you go, a wee bit of randomness from the brain of yours truly. You better be happy Snoodledoo! At any rate, I find whatever writing I do to make me a better writer in the long run; I can only hope there will be someone to enjoy it. Thank you and ta-ta!)