After seeing the episode where Bonnie almost died I immediately wanted to write a story. Obviously it has been a while since that episode so here it is! I hope you like it!
Enjoy
Elena P.O.V
I stared at the fire in front of me. Not really seeing the orange flecks crackle and slowly fall to the ground. Not really hearing the crackle of the burning fire. Not really feeling the warmth it should have been giving me. All I felt was an empty hole in the middle of my chest. Almost as if someone had taken a wooden stake and drove it straight through my heart and twisted it.
That would have been fine, but I wasn't a vampire. I didn't have a way to deal with horrible emotions. I could not turn them off and as soon as I wanted to feel somewhat normal, turn them right back on. I didn't have the power because all I was, was Elena. The same Elena that had gotten her best friend killed because she was going to die. The same Elena that had gotten everyone she loved into a huge mess.
Everyone wanted to save Elena because she was so perfect. Elena Gilbert had the perfect life. She had the perfect best friends. The perfect boyfriend. The perfect family. The perfect look. But, it's not true. I am not at all perfect. For just once, I wish someone knew that though. I wish someone cared about it like I did because it would be so nice.
I wanted them to know the pain I felt. That I have so much of it. That I'm not some perfect Barbie. I have had so much pain. Unbearable pain actually. It hurts so badly. All I wanted was for it to all go away. The pain of having such a messed up family. The pain of having you best friend die for you because she gave it all up for your life.
I didn't want that much pain. I never wanted any of it. I knew this would happen. That Bonnie would die. It's not like anything goes right for me anyways. For just once I wished it did though. It would be so nice to have it that way.
"Drink this," it was Stefan's voice.
I shook my head no. I didn't want any of it. I didn't want to keep living like this. My best friend had died and no one seemed to even care about it. I wanted to curl up and cry myself to sleep. I wanted to get out of this god-awful outfit and go to sleep. I wanted to close my eyes and pretend that it was not happening because then it would be better. I didn't want to drink whatever Stefan was offering me it wouldn't make me feel any better.
"It's not fair!" I screamed at Stefan
He had a look of sorrow written deeply in his features. I knew I shouldn't be yelling at him. That it wasn't his fault. If anything, I should be yelling at Damon. It was his fault that we couldn't save her.
I felt an arm go around my slim shoulders and a tight squeeze. I looked up and saw Stefan's face.
"I know Elena. Don't worry about it. I know that that sounds like such a horrible thing to say, but it gets better, I promise it does. One day you will wake up and it won't hurt anymore. You will not forget it I can't tell you that you will, because I don't want to lie to you. You will get through this I promise.
I looked at him, tears pouring out of my eyes. My arms found their way around his neck and I embraced him.
"Thank you Stefan."
I looked out the window wind clashing with the glass and I knew that one day I would wake up and my heart wouldn't hurt as much as it did now. Eventually, the tears would dry.
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