InvaderBeckyandClad:We own nothing except the idea.

Chapter 1 Zim Is one Weird Alien

Zim was jumping on his desk waving his arms around widely screaming at the top of his lungs. "OH! OH! PICK ME! PICK ME! PICK ZIM! ZIM! ME! ME! ZIM! CHOOSE ZIM! I AM ZIM!" he yelled so loud that the windows chatter

"What is it now, Zim?" Ms. Bitters asked not caring but her ears were starting to bleed.

"Hyperthetically speaking. Is it possible to use weasels to cripple the human race if they shoot lasers out of their eyes?" Zim asked eyes widened with curiosity.

Ms. Bitters stared at him blankly and let out a low growl. "No. No it's not."

Zim looked very disappointed and for whatever reason decided to say his plan out loud. "But I had this ingenious plan to send weasels to the Dibworms house where they would eat his big head!" he grinned looking proud of himself

Dib stared at Zim thinking the little alien was out of his mind. "That's. That's just stupid. And my head's not big!" he frowned.

"Is too! You should cut it off. Stuff it up your big fat nose and eat it," Zim said grinning wide.

Dib was disgusted, freaked out, and made a mental note to stay away from Zim until he became sane again. Or as sane as the weird alien ever could be. "First off if I cut off my head I'll die. Second if I die I can't stuff it up my nose. Third if my head is cut off I wont be able to wait...I mean. ARGH! I can't eat my own head it's not possible. You have no sense of logic!" he waved his hands in the air and faced the window.

Zim looked ticked off and annoyed. "Zim, has more sense than you Dibworm! I am so full of scencenessness that it will make your big head explode." he said smugly.

Dib sighed and walked over to Zim staring him straight in the eye. "Did you eat too many soapy waffles again?" he asked

"No..." Zim eyes shifted. "Now get out of my face Dibworm," he whacked Dib nose.

Dib flinched and held his nose glaring at Zim spitefully. "I will expose you one day you horrible alien monster," he growled

Zim didn't look intimated. "Blah blah. I am a normal human worm baby and nothing you ever say will change that. NOW BE GONE WITH YOU!" Zim ordered waving his hand, signalling for Dib to leave.

"Would a normal human call his own kind worms? Were not worms!" Dib declared exasperated.

Zita glared at Dib unhappy with him. "Hey! You watch what you say around Worm Girl," she glared pointing to a 3 foot tall worm wearing girl clothes.

"WAHHHHH!" the Worm Girl ran off leaving a trail of slime behind her.

"Oh I give up! You're all so stupid and ignorant," Dib took Zims wig off revealing his antennas. "You see! What is he? Part ant? NO! He's an alien! You all see these antennas so there are no excuses," Dib picked Zim up by his head showing his baldness to everyone.

The children all glared at Dib hatefully feeling insulted. "He's just ugly and bald," Letter M said.

"What? Not baldness! Alien head. Antennas. ALIEN! ARGH! RARGH" Dib started having an episode jumping on desks and destroying stuff.

Zim laughed manically enjoying his enemies madness. How it filled him with joy. It was neat. "HAHAHAHA! Poor pitiful Dibworm you should go and screw yourself over." he laughed.

The kids turned their attention to Zim grossed out. "Okay. Maybe Zim's not an alien. But he's creepy," Zita backed her desk away from him.

Zim grinned at Zita. "Ahh yes I am creepy in fact I know all kinds of things about you and everyone else in here too. Letter M bathes in mucus. Melvin is naked in bed. Keef bedroom has pictures of me everywhere. That horrible human. And you Zita human heh heh..," he grinned evilly.

Zita gasped and raised her hand. "Ms. Bitters can we send Zim and Dib to the Crazy House for Weird and Crazy People?" she asked hopeful.

"Yes and you get an A, Zita," Ms. Bitters slithered over to Dib and placed a red flashy collar on him. "I hope they keep you this time," she hissed then slithered over to Zim.

"Get that flashy thing away from Zim!" Zim growled.

"If you don't stay there it's the underground classroom," Ms. Bitters placed the collar on Zim and slithered off.

The men in white coats barged in and trapped Zim and Dib in a net. "Hey! Wait! I'm not crazy," Dib frowned.

"RELEASE ZIM! I will destroy you for this," Zim tried clawing his way out of the net only to be shot with a tranquilizer. His eyes became hazy and he fell on top of Dib snoring quite loudly.

Dib sighed in annoyance. "Great. Stuck with my enemy can this get any worst?" his eyes widened as nightmarish images flashed in front of him.

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