My first fan fiction! Akatsuki AU, in the real world! This story will no doubt be author fulfillment, but hopefully it'll entertain you too! P.S. I don't cuss, so Hidan's language is improvised with asterisks.

Rated teen because I don't really plan my stories so it might get iffy. But I am a clean person so no (real) cursing or really bad "adult themes." I'm not against violence though... So no promises. :)

If you didn't know, I DON'T OWN NARUTO!

The Hazards of Akatsuki

Chapter 1:

Yukiko discretely slipped her ipod's earbuds into her ears. She spun the volume up daintily with her finger just as the sound came blaring out, louder than she had expected. She jumped and quickly spun it in the opposite direction.

"Well that was stupid," she muttered to herself.

She skipped rhythmically to the beat, away from the dreary, teenager-filled, building she had spent her day in.

Without entirely realizing it, Yukiko began dancing along with the peppy J-pop she cherished. She didn't even notice the perplexed onlookers she passed. She didn't care either. School was over and it was friday, this day was looking up.

She slid through the wooden gate that closed off her backyard from the rest of the world and let it shut noisily behind her. She walked through the tall, uncut, grass lawn, which resembled a rice field.

She popped out one of her earbuds as she opened the back door. She paused as she stepped in.

"Mom?"

No reply.

"She must not be home yet," she concluded as she shoved her backpack onto one of the red dining chairs surrounding the glossy, wooden table.

She balanced herself on the now wobbling chair as she slipped her dirt-covered, purple shoes off. She then proceeded to saunter off towards the stainless steel refrigerator in her green and white polkadot socks. She opened the fridge and leaned in to inspect the food it contained.

She fingered over an array of leftovers, fruits, and bottled drinks, not seeing anything that suited her fancy.

"Hmm, maybe I'll have some ramen," Yukiko said thoughtfully as she closed the fridge.

"Yeah, that sounds good," she decided as she headed towards the pantry, which was directly across the hall from the kitchen.

As she was entering the door some movement caught her attention and she spun towards it.

Nobody's home, she thought, her mind now racing.

Her eyes widened as she stepped cautiously towards the suspected hiding place of the thing that had distracted her. Stifling her breath, she poked her head around the corner of the doorway into her mother's room.

Before being able to look inside, she sensed movement behind her; she wheeled around, now feeling panic well up inside her.

"Who's there?" she demanded in a shaky voice. Dead silence greeted her ears.

It's only your imagination. It's playing tricks on you, she thought, see?

She peaked into the room once more to reassure herself, but what she saw achieved the complete opposite.

Her mother was lying on the floor, covered in blood.

"Mom?" Yukiko managed to choke out, tears filling her wide eyes, ready to burst at a moment's notice.

She took a step forward and fell to her knees, her arms at her sides and her hands lying limp on the floor. She stared at the lifeless corpse of her mother, her mind numb and unfeeling.

Yukiko could barely notice the presence of three figures that appeared in the doorway. She didn't care about them. Her mother was dead, what did she have now? All the rest of her family had died in a car crash. Hollow loneliness welled up inside her chest.

She realized she had to leave, or they would kill her too.

Her tears stopped as she solemnly stood up and turned towards the door. She stepped forward towards the figures whom she didn't bother to look at. She placed her hand of one of their chests, about to push past them.

Yukiko stopped short. Her vision focused as she looked at what she was now touching.

A blood red cloud with a white border was appliqued onto the silky black fabric right above where her hand was placed. Her mind processed it instantly, Akatsuki.

Yukiko slowly craned her neck upward to see the man's face. Her eyes rested on dark eyes full of suffering, which looked inattentively down back at her.

She took a step backwards, one thought pulsing constantly through her head, Itachi.

She turned towards the middle figure and before she could think, she was captured by the beautiful ocean colored eyes staring smugly down at her.

Yukiko's eyes scanned over him repetitively. He was more beautiful in real life than she could ever have imagined.

Movement to the right of the blond figure brought her out of her daze. Yukiko looked over and saw a silver-haired man, Hidan, shifting impatiently; his customary scythe placed on his back.

On seeing the dangerous weapon, her mind snapped back to reality, what do I do?

She felt uncomfortable in the silence she knew she had to break, but how? She couldn't abandon the chance to meet Deidara, so leaving was out of the question. No way out, I gotta say something.

"Why are you here?" Yukiko said, hardly able to maintain a steady voice.

"We need your house," Itachi answered bluntly.

"...What?" Yukiko asked, confused.

"We need you house,"

"I heard you the first time but, why?"

"We need a place to live,"

"Oh... How did you get here?"

Itachi looked slightly confused.

Crap! Yukiko screeched in her head, Don't tell them you know who they are! It'd freak them out!

"I mean, you don't look like your from around here," Yukiko improvised.

"We're not," Hidan interrupted, "we don't know where the * we are or how the * we got here!"

Deidara elbowed him in the stomach, causing vulgarity to spew from Hidan's mouth.

"We're going to live in your house," Itachi said, barely loud enough to be heard over Hidan.

Yukiko looked perplexed, "OK? But, I kinda need to live here too."

"I guess we'll share my house, it's plenty big," Yukiko said, " Just... don't kill me."

Deidara smiled, clearly amused by her comment.

"Alright then," Itachi said as he walked out of the doorway. Hidan and Deidara followed.

Even though her mother was dead, she couldn't help but smile. She was now living every Akatsuki fangirl's dream... Well, to a point.

Yukiko turned back to her mother, the same empty feeling plaguing her heart.

Familiar tears welled came into her eyes, but she stopped them.

I'm not going to cry when the Akatsuki are around. That'd be embarrassing.

She wheeled around and walked swiftly out of the room as she rubbed one eye with her sleeve.

Yay, I get to meet the Akatsuki! And no! I don't like Deidara! *blushes* Hope you guys liked it, sorry if you don't. If it isn't obvious, I am Yukiko (not my real name but...). Reviews would be love. Thanks for reading!