Edited: 3/11/2016 :)
Carter
First of all, I was not the "dating" type of guy.
During the dates I went on with Zia, I recalled constantly turning red in the face and stuttering over the simplest of conversations. Going on a date just wasn't my thing; I would have much rather have spent time watching a Lakers game or talking about Twenty-One Useful Ideas for the Egyptian Flint Knife with someone.
So when I found myself straightening a black tie upon a burgundy dress shirt, I was seriously questioning myself.
"I can't believe it," Sadie snorted from the couch. She was flipping through a magazine. "Who would have agreed to a blind date with you?"
I thought back to the dating website Sadie had registered me on as a joke. However, it had strangely backfired on her when I received a request saying someone in the area was interested in me.
"I don't know," I answered honestly, dipping down to tie my black dress shoes. "She didn't have a picture on her profile, but in her message she said she knew me and wanted it to be a surprise. Maybe a magician within one of the nomes?"
She shrugged. "It sounds kind of sketchy."
"The restaurant we're meeting at is only a few blocks down the street," I said. "It should be fine."
"Well, call me if she ends up being a murderer or something," she said, turning her attention back to the magazine.
I sighed and grabbed my phone from the coffee table, turning to walk through the Twenty-First Nome. Thankfully none of our trainees were around to ask me where I was headed, even though it was only eight o'clock in the evening.
Walking out the door, I was hit by the brisk chill of the winter air. The moon was almost full and shined high above, illuminating my path along with the streetlights.
I eventually reached the restaurant and had to stop before going in. I took a deep breath and ran a hand through my hair, silently encouraging myself.
You can do this, Carter, it's just one simple mystery date.
I pushed the door open and was thankfully met with warmer air. I made my way to the front desk where a lady in her early thirties was hunched over a map of the restaurant and its seats.
"Uh, hey," I greeted and she looked up. "I've got a table under the name Kane."
The lady narrowed her eyes at me through her glasses. "You're the Carter Kane?"
My eyes widened. "Um, yeah, that's me." What was that accusatory tone for? She wasn't the person I was supposed to be meeting, was she?
She laughed briefly. "You're pretty cute, but the one who came in asking for you made it sound like you had features of a god or something."
I was confused for many reasons. A god - like Horus or something?
"Anyway, your beloved told me to give you this," she continued, handing me a handwritten note.
I took the piece of paper and looked down at the scrawled writing. It said:
Hey, Carter Kane! Thanks for actually coming to meet me. I'm sorry, but could you meet me in the alleyway behind this restaurant instead?
Okay, that definitely wasn't sketchy and dangerous at all. My eyes shot up to the lady at the counter who was just smiling.
"I think you can trust this one," she admitted, obviously having read the note as well.
I hesitated before nodding and left back out the front door. What the heck was going on?
I turned down the alley leading behind the restaurant, not knowing what to expect. Would she be waiting there, or was this some kind of joke? My shoes made low noises against the pavement as I walked down the dark path.
After a few seconds, I realized a shining light was sparkling at the end of the alleyway. I thought that maybe it could've been her phone illuminating in the darkness, so I called out.
"Hey, is that you?" I asked the light.
Suddenly, the small light started to rapidly get bigger. I started to turn the other way to get the heck out of there, but the light hurled itself at me. I tried to scream for help, but it was too late as it engulfed me in its white flame and seemed to throw me through space and time.
When I landed with a thud and a groan, I opened my eyes warily. A sudden fear wrenched in my chest as I realized just where I was. Dead scarab shells surrounded me everywhere, and a sickening smell drifted to my nose.
The mystery date had been a trick.
"Carter…" a voice whispered through the darkness. It sounded raspy like an old man who had spent his whole life smoking. I shivered.
"Carter, I lied about my identity on that dating website," it told me. I had a bad feeling about this.
Laughing nervously, I said, "Well, obviously. What do you want from me?"
"I'm down here," it answered. "Come and see me."
I was confused for a second before I realized the voice meant it was beneath the scarab shells. Digging around, I choked back a scream when finding an amber eye glowing up at me. My fears were confirming themselves.
"A-Apophis?" I stuttered, heart beating fast.
"Yes," he answered, sounding pleased.
"What do you want?" I asked frantically, about to pull my sword out of my Duat locker.
"I just wanted to get to know you, Carter," the serpentine manifestation said, his uncovered eye focused on me.
"Wh-what are you talking about?" I asked, confusion and fear taking ahold of my thoughts.
"Carter, I've developed these deep feelings for you," he continued. "Watching you do everyday things from afar… Working with your trainees, training to defeat me, drinking some ginger ale… I got so flustered that I made a dating account on that website to try and contact you."
No way. This was some weird twisted dream.
"Carter, after all this time of wanting to kill you and destroy the world," Apophis said, "I've realized that I've actually fallen in love with you instead."
I couldn't believe it.
"I love you, Carter."
I was glad it was so dim in his lair so he couldn't see my creeping blush.
"Apophis, I-" I stuttered, shivering. "I've never thought about you that way before, but…" I gulped. "Now that you've admitted your feelings for me, I think I could learn to love you too." The thought of the god of chaos's large serpent body was exhilarating.
"Then kiss me, Carter Kane."
I was then aware of being pulled down into the shells and into a deep and passionate, under-scarab kiss with the serpent of my dreams.
No longer would I have to worry about freaking out over dates if I had Apophis to love for the rest of time. This mystery date had turned out to be the best thing that had ever happened to me.
Apophis was my true destiny.