A/N: Okay, I decided to do another EdEdd yaoi fanfic~ So here's the legal stuff!
I do not own any of the characters or concepts in this work. However, the story itself does belong to me.
Also, and it might be obvious, but I don't do background research. So if I get something wrong, oh well, deal with it. I'm pretty sure I'm going to get something wrong, fact wise, so just assume that it's not important.
And please forgive the Fire Emblem bits in the middle. I couldn't help myself.
Okay. First chappie! Not much actual yaoi-ness but be patient!
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Chapter One: Just Your Average Day…"Hey, Sockhead!"
Edd glanced up from his copy of The Origin of Species to the familiar voice. It belonged, of course, to Eddy, his childhood friend. Sensing an extended conversation, Edd gingerly placed his bookmark between the pages of the book, slowly closing it.
"Yes, Eddy?" replied Edd, no longer bothered by the nickname (it was appropriate, after all). He probably wanted to pitch a scam that was doomed to fail. What would it be this time? Revamped rocket car? Perhaps a fake world cruise? Something involving mystery meat, maybe?
"Lumpy invited us over to his house today. Said he had a surprise or something. Who knows." Eddy took a look at the book Edd was reading. "Origin of Species? What is that, some sci-fi novel?" he asked.
"Hm? No, actually, Charles Darwin's Origin of Species is a thorough essay (at the mention of the e-word, Eddy began losing interest) on evolution. He observed many species of animals, like turtles, on the Galapagos Islands to formulate his thesis."
"I like turtles, Double D!" said yet another familiar voice. It was Ed, Edd's closest friend, in his typical detached-from-reality happy stupor. Edd derived a strange pleasure from saying something with a high requisite of intelligence necessary for comprehension (such as his Origin mini-lecture) and then letting Ed take something from his speech and going off on a tangent with it, as Ed had just done. Being as he was in a good mood, Edd decided to feed Ed another potential tangent line. He chuckled mentally at that pun. Tangent line. Ha-ha. Why do all the jokes I come up with have to be high school level and above?
"Why, hello, Ed! Did you know Charles Darwin's ship for his research was the Beagle?"
"Beagles! Like Snoopy! They're so cute! Hey, Double D, why did you recognize turtles specifically as Darwin's subjects? Why not birds?"
Edd and Eddy deadpanned. Not for the same reasons, though. Eddy did because, to him, Ed's question made exactly zero sense. Edd did because, to him, Ed's question had been a good one.
"Er… I'm not sure, exactly. Maybe because turtles were easier to—"
"Ed?" asked Eddy. "Is that you?" He waved his hand in front of Ed's face.
"Why of course it is me, Silly Eddy!" Ed smiled happily.
Edd decided to shrug off Ed's comment. Maybe Ed had had a sudden disjointed memory flash of something Edd himself had said. He did remember musing aloud over the same question about a month ago.
"You freaked me out there, Ed…" remarked Eddy. "That was something I'd expect Double D to say."
"Yeah, me too, Eddy! Maybe I was possessed by an alien cyborg stepmom from Planet Exturon! Oh no!" Ed dove under the lunch table. "Beware, friends! It has come to infest your brains! Protect your heads! GET EARPLUGS!!!"
Edd stifled a chuckle at this typical Ed-ism. Still, his question about Charles Darwin's famous work left Edd wondering about his friend…
"All I'm saying is the kids have no idea what they're in for!"
"Oh, I'm sure, Eddy. Because goodness knows they'll never see it coming. Didn't we try this same thing like three seasons ago?"
Eddy was pitching another food scam. They'd been here before, of course. Paper plate tacos, to name one example.
"Oh come on! Everyone'll love Ed-burgers!" protested Eddy.
"And what, pray tell, will we use for meat?" asked Edd.
"… Look, the meat's not important." Obviously, Eddy hadn't thought this through. "It's all in the condiments!" He certainly liked to sound like he had, though. "Trust me on this one. With enough ketchup, no one will know the difference!"
The two went on like this all the way to Ed's house. Edd know the Ed-burger plot was doomed to fail, but he couldn't adequately convince Eddy of this fact. That would be like trying to teach a cat to snorkel by providing written instructions. It just wasn't possible.
As they walked, Edd saw a flyer on the ground in Ed's yard. It advertised the chess club's tournament, asking to people to come "en passant" to the event. Chess pun. How clever. Edd picked up the flyer to throw away later.
Edd and Eddy circled around to the back of Ed's house, letting themselves in through the basement window. Ed was lying on his bed, playing a DS. He closed it when his friends entered.
"Hey, guys!" he chimed happily. "Thanks for coming over!"
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, what game were you playing?" asked Eddy. "Let me see." He snatched the DS, but Ed had shut it off. He turned it back on, and on the menu screen was the game's title. "Hunh? Fire Emblem: Shadow Dragon? What's that?"
"It's the eleventh game in the series, but it's a remake of the first one, which was only available in Japan," answered Ed. "I'm to the eighth chapter."
"Oh, yeah, Fire Emblem. I remember that. Wasn't the last one like… Oh, Radiant Dawn, wasn't it?"
"Uh-huh!" affirmed Ed. "My favorite class are the knights. They're slow but so useful."
"Figures you'd like them. I like the thieves. They get to take the stuff in chests and pick locks without keys."
"You know they stink at combat, right, Eddy?" Ed stifled a giggle.
"… shut up. Hey, Double D, have you played Fire Emblem?"
Edd shuffled uncomfortably. "… yes."
"Which ones?"
"… Sa-Sacred Stones." The eighth game, and second released outside of Japan.
Eddy laughed. "The one with the girl lord character, Eirika? Pah ha ha ha!" After a solid minute of laughing, Eddy calmed down. "So, what about you, what's your favorite class?"
"Well, I've always liked magical attacks, so I'd have to say mages. They're quite versatile."
They discussed this topic at length, deciding what class the other kids in the cul-de-sac would be in one of the games. The list came out as such: Kevin was a Pirate, as he was violent and arrogant; Nazz a Pegasus Knight, elegant as she was; Sarah, they couldn't decide between a Dark Mage and a Myrmidon, because she was both vicious and deadly accurate; Jimmy was easy, a Curate, because he was a nonviolent healer; Rolf was a Cavalier, because he was good with animals; and Johnny a Sniper, with a bow dubbed Plank, smiley crayon face and all. They chose not to think about the remaining three for the sake of sanity.
Eddy had been drinking cola the entire time, having raided a mini-fridge in Ed's room. And all that soda had to go somewhere.
"Erk, hold that thought," he said. "Too much soda!!" He hobbled upstairs to the bathroom, forgetting that Ed's basement had a bathroom in his haste. So now Ed and Edd were alone.
"Hey, Double D, what's that?" asked Ed, pointing to the flyer Edd had in his hand.
"Hm? Oh, it's just a flyer for the chess club," he replied.
"Chess? Ooh! Double D, let's play some now!" Edd had been teaching Ed how to play chess lately. Ed had all the movements down, but he still struggled with the knights. Their peculiar L-shaped movement patterns baffled Ed, so he tended not to use them.
"I don't see why not," replied Edd. Ed ran to his closet and got out the chess set Edd had given him as a Christmas present and they each set up their side of the board. Ed was white, Edd, black. They began to play, and Edd, knowing his opponent, didn't give his moves too much thought.
"So, Double D, anything going on with you?" Ed asked with his childlike innocence Edd had grown to adore.
"Well, the science club is going to a state competition this weekend. You can come with me, of course, but you might feel out of place. You could see the chemistry part, I hear they're using highly caustic chemicals. Did you know that pure sodium metal explodes in water?"
Ed grinned and slowly and clearly enunciated one word.
"Checkmate."
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A/N: Ah haaa! Plot twist! Betcha didn't see that coming!
Oh, and I threw in the FE stuff because I made that list of class matchups and I had to work it in somehow, it was too good to pass up. Forgive me if it seems out of place. Oh, and I used the class names from Shadow Dragon, so yeah.
But yes! Ed defeated Edd in chess, and excessively quickly, too! Find out how and why, next time in Chapter Two!