i am just the singer (but you are the song)

chapter one

they say that the road ain't no place to start a family

right down the line it's been you and me...

and lovin' a music woman ain't always what it's supposed to be

oh, girl, you stand by me -

A bump in the road jolted the tour bus, startling a moody, pensive Rachel Berry from the song running through her head, and from the daydream that accompanied it. She was twenty-six years old, already the recipient of two Tony Awards, a Grammy Award, and rumor had it she was sure to be up for an Emmy for her televised performance special, "The Art of the Stage: An Evening with Rachel Berry." She had come a very long way from her difficult teenage years as a small-town girl with big dreams in a very short time, achieving so many of her goals so quickly that it made her head spin to think about it.

But she had learned that one always pays a price to make a dream come true, and in the world of show business, that price comes in the form of having to spend time away from friends and family. It was a price that her loved ones all told her they didn't mind her paying, but it was still very difficult for Rachel to accept having to say 'goodbye' all the time. Her dads were notorious criers at those moments, which always set her off, and some of her longtime friends were no better, like her college apartment mates Tina and Kurt, and – surprisingly – her ex-girlfriend Quinn.

Hardest of all, of course, was parting from the love of her life, the one person who had helped her most of all along the way, and the one who understood the stresses and strains of life as a performer more than anyone else, having become quite a successful one in her own right: acclaimed pop singer / songwriter Santana Lopez. She was the reason for the song, and the thoughts it evoked, that had been dominating her consciousness these long days on the road.

This was Rachel's first major tour, in support of her first album of all-original material, and when she had balked at the idea of going on the road to perform the songs for the fans that wanted to see her all across the country, Santana had narrowed her eyes and asked Rachel if she was crazy.

"You have to do it, querida. It's the logical next step in your career path. You have thousands - millions of people, even - clamoring to see you, people who will never be able to go to New York and see you perform on Broadway. You need to get out there and connect with them, let them know youknow about them and that you love them just as much as you love everyone who comes to the theater."

Rachel frowned. She knew that Santana was right, of course, but she didn't have to like it.

"They know I know about them. That's why my fan club sends out an official newsletter – with pictures! - every month."

Rolling her eyes at Rachel's weak, half-hearted protest, Santana replied, "Right, because that's exactly the same as seeing you on stage, singing for them the way you sing for the people at the theater."

"Okay, okay," Rachel laughed, holding her hands up in surrender. "I know, I know, you're right. But...we just bought a house! With a pool, Santana! A pool, and a multimedia room, and a sauna, and...I just really wanted to spend some time with you, enjoying everything we've worked so hard for. I don't want to spend six months, or a year, on the road, away from you, away from everything we've built here."

Left unspoken was her fear that the time away would have a negative effect on their relationship, that they would grow and drift apart, and when she returned, it would be to an empty house.

"That's very sweet," Santana said in her best placating tone, knowing the fear behind the words, taking Rachel's hands in hers to draw soothing circles on her palms with her thumbs. "And you know I feel the same way, but look – we got through my last two tours just fine. Granted, they weren't as extensive as yours is probably going to be, but...still. Nothing's going to happen to us, all right? I love you, and you love me, and there's nothing in this world that can change that fact. We'll keep in touch every day. We'll Facebook, we'll Skype, we'll actually talk on the phone. Everything will be good, trust me."

Rachel smiled, allowing herself to feel reassured, enjoying the warmth of Santana's hands in hers. She nodded, indicating her desire to hear more.

"Call Shelby and tell her you'll do the tour, then call Tina and Mercedes and let them know you're in the market for backup singers. Kurt's already your personal stylist, and of course he's been designing dresses for you to wear since you started recording the album. Let the people who love you help you and share in your success. They want this for you as much as you do."

Rachel's expression brightened still further at the thought of wearing Kurt's new creations and singing with Tina and Mercedes again. It would be just like the old days, when they were chorus girls and Santana was playing coffee houses.

"All right, all right, I'm convinced! I'll call Shelby now and tell her to start booking shows," Rachel conceded. Santana let out a soft yay! and Rachel couldn't help but giggle at her girlfriend's affectionate silliness, leaning forward to plant a gentle kiss on her lips.

"Mmm," Santana hummed with pleasure at the feeling of Rachel's lips on her own. "I gotta admit, I'll miss our sweet lady kisses when you're gone. But I promise you, Rachel – I'll come out to visit you when you're on the road. Somehow, somewhere, I'll find a way, I swear."

"I'll hold you to that," Rachel said, and the look in her eyes let Santana know she meant it.