This, people, is my first attempt at an all-out crackfic, set vaguely a short time after the series' end. It is not supposed to be intended as anything more than a little light entertainment, in hopes of preventing such ennui as displayed by our commentator. So, let us sit back and enjoy the best TV show ever aired in the company of the driest, least-easily-entertained character to be shown on it. Oh, and I don't own Avatar. Otherwise, I wouldn't be writing crappy fanfic for it on a crappy Kindle Fire tablet.
All was quiet as three masked figures slipped through the Fire Nation Capital, in quick succession from each other as they hid at each street corner. At last, they saw the towering spires of the Royal Palace, and a quick nod passed through the group. Silent as mouse-cats, they dashed out to where the vast palace grounds began, but instead of throwing themselves over the wall, they turned off and headed towards the unguarded manor next to it, huge but yet looking like a tiny cottage next to the overwhelming decadence of the palace. Another nod rippled between them, and the three ninjas went in for the attack.
Mai loved the night. She often did not retire until one or two o' clock in the morning, preferring to stand by her bedroom window and gaze out into the dark sky, sometimes allowing her eyes to drift towards the palace. On this particular night, she was lounging against the window-frame, savouring one of her last nights of complete freedom before her parents returned from Omashu with a cup of tea in her hand. Her quick eyes caught sight of a flash of movement just outside her window, and she froze for a minute, trying to figure out what it was. Probably just a wolf-cat. Her gaze was drawn once more to the palace opposite, thinking of her boyfriend and wondering what he could be doing. Was he taking a bath, perhaps? If so, wouldn't she like to join him! Mai lost herself in contemplation of what pleasurable activities this situation could lead to for about a minute, before she heard footsteps outside her bedroom door, and really froze this time.
A forceful kick to the door sent it flying off its hinges and three black-clad figures burst into the room. Mai did not stop to ask questions and instead reached into her sleeve, her tea sent hurtling to the floor, and pulled out a knife. Within seconds, one of the three was pinned to the wall just to the left of the door. The other two, taking note of their companion's fate, managed to slip round behind her, and Mai shrieked frantically as a gag was pulled over her seldom-opened mouth. Whipping around, she struggled free of her captors' grasp and managed to give one a solid kick to the stomach, sending them flying into a wall. She pulled out a knife to see to the last one, but, to her horror, the one she had kicked staggered to their feet, and suddenly she found herself battling two at once. But unbeknownst to her, the one pinned to the wall had been slowly working at their bonds, and managed, with one hand, to reach for their belt, bring a shooter to their mouth, and blow. Mai felt something sharp hit her squarely between her shoulder-blades, and barely had time to register her vision blurring at the edges before she fell to the floor, transported to a place of strange dreams and even stranger laws of gravity.
When Mai woke up, she was in a brightly-lit, cheerfully furnished room, lying on what appeared to be a softer, poofier version of a sofa. She sat up. There was a gentleman sitting in one of the other seats. Mai instinctively reached for a knife, and with a pang of horror, found that they had been taken.
"Hello, Mai." smiled the gentleman. "I trust you slept well?"
Mai gave him one of her usual deadpan stares. "Where am I?"
The man smiled. "In an underground bunker. You are in a different world, now. Think of it as Our World, as opposed to Your World."
"Who are you, and why have you brought me here?" Mai cut to the chase, giving away her rage by way of folding her arms across her chest and letting out an irritated huff.
He shrugged. "Don't ask me. It's not important who I am. What is important is why we brought you here." He snapped his fingers and a gentleman swept in, carrying a small, but flimsy-looking box, which he placed in her captor's hand, hovering next to him. Mai saw that the box depicted two glowing eyes and a downwards arrow, which seemed to shine in the light. Mai couldn't figure out how the room was lit anyway; it didn't seem to be with fire or crystals. Nonetheless, the man looked ready to speak, and so his captive listened.
"This," He gestured over to a tall, black piece of furniture that stood just opposite where Mai was sitting, "is called a television. It's moving pictures - it can show us something that's happening now, something that happened a while ago, or even," He tapped the box, "something that never happened at all. Got that?"
Mai hadn't, but she didn't care sufficiently and so allowed her captor to continue.
"Avatar: The Last Airbender is widely considered to be one of the greatest TV shows ever to air. It had ingenious plots, relatably complex characters, and animation better than a lot of shows whose style they were imitating. It's set in your world, and it's about Avatar Aang and the last nine months of the Hundred-Year War. Which brings us to why we've brought you here. You are going to watch it, and after each episode - each twenty-minute section - you are going to stand just here," He took her hand and stood her in front of a bookcase, on which a small, strange-looking box with an attachment that looked like a telescope pointing towards her rested at about eye-level, "and tell us what you think of it. Understand?"
Mai frowned, but nodded sullenly.
"Any questions?"
"Yes. Why would I do this for you?"
"Do you see a way out?"
Mai's frown deepened into a scowl and she sat back down on the sofa. She still didn't know how this "television" thing was supposed to work, but she reasoned that she was about to find out. The man who had been hovering in the background came forward and extracted a smaller box from the one he held, which he opened and removed a flat, shiny disc. Squatting down before the television, he pressed something and a small tray opened. He placed the disc on the tray and then pressed the symbol again, sending the disc and the tray back in. At once, the television sprung to life, and Mai was shown a brightly-coloured picture. The man who had been questioning her picked up a strange-looking stick thing, the top surface of which was covered in bumps, and pointed it at the television, pressing some of the bumps. Mai watched as the picture changed, and then, when he seemed satisfied, he handed the stick to her. "When you're ready to start," he told her, "just press this button here. When you reach the end of an episode, press this one, and then give your review." He headed for the door. "For a more polished video, you'll be the only one in the room. Happy watching, Mai. Call us if you need anything!"
And he was gone.
OK, so that was the prologue. If this comes across as rushed, or just complete shit, in my time, it's twenty past five in the morning, and it's taken me four hours to do this, including frequent distractions such as reading other people's fanfic and googling silly shit like "How to Annoy People", and so both the quality of the writing and my crudeness of wording can be blamed on that. Also, the fact that I lost quite a bit due to unreliable Wi-Fi. That pissed me off, and makes me more likely to half-arse the bit I lost. In the next chapter, a disgruntled Mai will explain context: bending, the Asian influence, et cetera. See you there.