Alone
I…can't believe what I just heard. I was… created. Made as the angel of death for those on Gaia. For all I thought was my home. I can't face them. Not anymore. I fought by their side, true, but I was supposed to be their enemy. Fate made it this way and it is fate that will ultimately win. If I cannot fight them, then I will leave this world and give them a chance at life. I am the angel of death.
My own…
I wake up to the sound of someone calling my name.
"Zidane! Zidane wake up!"
Yes, I used to be called that. Who am I now?
What am I?
I open my eyes to find myself sitting in a throne of some sort. "Vivi? Eiko?" I see the little summoner girl looking worriedly at me. I see the black mage, his face emotionless. He too, only one of many, yet an individual. He has a soul, as do I, but what to do with it now?
I get up and begin limping my way towards my ultimate death. I can't be near them knowing I was meant to be their cause of death. To know I was meant to be their enemy. The bringer of death for them, children so young yet brought into a war started by another like me.
Kuja.
I thought we were so different. How wrong I was…
"Zidane!" Eiko calls out to me.
Vivi blinks as I walk past them both, my face emotionless. "Zidane?" So naïve, I was like that once. Funny how knowledge comes at such a price.
My humanity.
I walk through a gate that closes behind me. Even that doesn't startle me.
"Zidane wait up!" Eiko continues to try and get to me. There's no getting through to me. I'm not even human; I'm a thing. Something created by another man's hand. No parents, no nothing…
"Shut up!" I finally shout. "Just shut up you little brats! You don't know anything! Just leave me alone!"
This silences them, and leaves me feeling alone once again.
I continued to limp towards the unknown end, when I see Steiner and Quina get thrown in front of me by a monster. "Steiner? Quina? What are you…?"
"Wretched breast!" Steiner exclaims, jumping into battle.
"I cook you good!" Quina shouts and follows Steiner.
I join in the fight. I don't know why I did. They will both die at some point. Why prolong the inevitable?
"You guys…" I mutter.
"You're late!" Steiner shouts, attacking as heroically as any knight would.
I was meant to kill them a long time ago, yet I fought in battles similar to this one and continuously saved their lives. Now I see pointlessness to everything I've done. A wasted life soon to be extinguished…
The battle ends and I continue to walk away from the people I once called my friends. They shout out to me, but it doesn't matter anymore. Nothing matters anymore.
Another battle begins and I find myself out of strength. Finally, a fitting end to my torn soul.
"Always were the stubborn one, weren't you."
I look up and see Freya standing besides me in battle. Why is she here? My strength returns and we fight side-by-side, just like old times. But what were the old times? I'm beginning to forget. I wasn't supposed to be in those old times, was I? I was supposed to be on Terra, with those others created like me.
I was meant to destroy Freya, probably a long time before she meant Sir Fratley or endured any sadness. If I had been here to be the angel of death, she wouldn't have had to suffer at all.
Another failure to add to my mile-long list. A failure. Even my creator sees me as a failure. I walk past her, seeing nothing gained nor nothing lost. I need not stay by her side any longer. I'm not helping her by sticking around. Death is all that can help anyone. My death.
I enter the next room and see someone I hadn't expected to meet, though I only feel a small murmur of the feelings I once felt for the beautiful princess, now Queen Garnet.
"You think you can just walk away from us, don't you?"
"I don't want to be anymore trouble to anyone anymore." I say, not being able to move forward for the moment, my death prolonged a few moments more.
Garnet looks heart broken. "But aren't we your friends?"
I scoff. "Friends? I'm your enemy. I was meant to be your bringer of death. My brothers and sisters here on Terra knew that. I can't be by your side any longer. Now move." I tell her, beginning once again to walk towards the room where I will end my life.
She doesn't move and looks me right in the eye. "You don't get it do you?"
"…"
"You were always there for us. If you hadn't been there for Vivi, he would have never seen the truth in the beauty of his individuality. If you hadn't been there, Steiner would still be going around, proclaiming his duty and ignoring the duty to himself, to make his own decisions and become his own person."
Where was she going with this? They could have all done it without me.
"If you hadn't been there…I would still be in Alexandria, deathly still, my eidolons ripped out of me, barely holding onto life. My mother would still be holding onto a greed so powerful, she destroyed our own allies. If you hadn't been there, none of us would be who we are today, fighting for what's right, fighting for what we believe is right."
She paused and I could see the corners of her eyes water. Was she going to cry?
"If you hadn't been there all those times we went through all those battles, saving lives others didn't bother to protect, we would have all been dead a long time ago. It was all you, Zidane. I was all you who protected us and made sure we were safe. Now it's our turn. We want to protect you because you've always protected us. We want to protect you…because you're our friend, and you mean a lot to us."
A…friend?
Thinking back, I do remember believing in the fact that nothing in this world comes easy, and that sometimes to live, you must fight. Fight to earn the right to live and be free. Burmecia, Lindblum, Alexandria…they all had people, children, who were too small to protect themselves.
That's when we stepped in. We saved them and made sure they would live to open their eyes and see the world again. See the ones they love and learn to someday protect others. We did the impossible so many times and this Garland…my creator, is going to take all that away?
He's going to destroy all we've fought so hard for and rip out all the bright souls we've been protecting all this time? I can't allow that. But I can't do it alone either.
I look up and see Garnet with her eyes closed, streaks of soft tears falling down her cheeks. Is she that afraid of loosing me?
"I can't." I say. She looks up in horror. "I can't do it alone. Garland must be stopped. And we're the only ones who can do it. Now let's go get him…together…" I let a small smile through.
I no longer feel alone. I have people here who care enough about me to risk their lives to save mine. One out of millions, they're here to save mine. And the most important one is right here, standing in front of me, her short hair falling in front of her face, sticking to the wetness of her skin, now moistened with fallen tears.
A part of me seems rekindled at the sight. She is my friend. My best friend. One I feel I was in love with since the very beginning. That very first moment we met. And look at all we've been through together.
Was I ever truly alone? I don't think so anymore. Though hidden from view for a while, I always had friends. We have our different backgrounds, we have our different personalities and preferences, but we all have one thing in common.
We are alive. We always have been and we won't stop living as long as we use the time we have to it's fullest. Living our lives to their fullest, serving others or ourselves. It can only get brighter from here on out, can't it? The darkness gone, and Zidane Tribal returns.
I walk up to Garnet and hold out my hand. "Together?"
A smile breaks upon her face and it seems to jump start my heart back into living. Real living, not just barely getting by. Her look of happiness and relief of my survival makes it seem like I can fly.
She takes my hand and gently encloses it in hers. "Together." She says softly.
The way it was meant to be; the way it will always be. Together forever.