Disclaimer: LOTR belongs to Dr.Tolkien, not me. BonJovi owns 'It's My
Life', but I own the re-written lyrics.
THE LORD OF THE DANCE
Once upon a time, Sauron was sittin' on his bum, on his evilllll evil throne in the evilllllll evil land of Mordor.
Then, he jumped up and exclaimed
"I NEED A SONG!"
The Nazgul gathered round and muttered melodically amongst themsleves.
"Sauron needs a song?" sang one.
"Yes Sauron needs a song!" sang another.
"He wants to hear a song?"
"Because he needs a song!"
They all started dancing in synchronism in a circle.
"Why does he need a song?"
"Cuz he's gotta' hear a song!"
"A song?"
"A song."
"A song?"
"Yes a song."
"S-O-N-G!!!!!!!!!"all nine sang.
Sauron stepped forth and the camera closed in on him.
"Because I need to siiiiiinnnggg!" he sand in a very very low tone.
The Nazgul exited the scene and reappeared with guitars and drums.
"This is a song for my broken he-art," began Sauron as he pranced and danced around his evillllll court.
"A musical lament cuz I'm Ring-departed,
I'm gonna' sing this really really loud,
You're gonna' feel my pain
When you hear my so-und"
Then everyone sang as they danced:
"WHERE'S MY RING?
IT'S GOLD AND SHINY!
IT WHISPERS EVIL WORDS WHEN NO ONE'S LOOKI-ING!"
"That didn't rhyme." Whispered one Nazgul.
"I JUST WANT MY RING BACK WITH ME!
IT GIVES ME POWER AND KEEPS US BLACK
JUST LIKE I SAID
I WANT MY RING BACK!
I JUST WANT MY RING BACK WITH ME!
WHERE'S MY RING?"
Everyone broke into a bunch of synchronized dancing and singing.
Sauron started jumping up and down, screaming. He ended the song short, ran to the window, and bellowed to all of Middle Earth
"I AM THE LORD OF THE DANCE!"
Everyone in Arda heard him.
"He is NOT the Lord of the Dance!" remarked Elrond.
The camera backed up, the lights went out and a single spotlight shone on him.
"I, LORD ELROND OF IMLADRIS, AM THE LORD OF THE DANCE!"
More instruments struck up and Elrond got out his microphone that he always kept in the back of his pocket just for occasions like these.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Should I continue? YES! MY LYRICS SSSSSSSUUUUCCKK! I SUCK AT RE-WRITING LYRCS, BUT I DID IT ANYWAY CUZ I WANTED TO HUMOR MYSELF!
THE LORD OF THE DANCE
Once upon a time, Sauron was sittin' on his bum, on his evilllll evil throne in the evilllllll evil land of Mordor.
Then, he jumped up and exclaimed
"I NEED A SONG!"
The Nazgul gathered round and muttered melodically amongst themsleves.
"Sauron needs a song?" sang one.
"Yes Sauron needs a song!" sang another.
"He wants to hear a song?"
"Because he needs a song!"
They all started dancing in synchronism in a circle.
"Why does he need a song?"
"Cuz he's gotta' hear a song!"
"A song?"
"A song."
"A song?"
"Yes a song."
"S-O-N-G!!!!!!!!!"all nine sang.
Sauron stepped forth and the camera closed in on him.
"Because I need to siiiiiinnnggg!" he sand in a very very low tone.
The Nazgul exited the scene and reappeared with guitars and drums.
"This is a song for my broken he-art," began Sauron as he pranced and danced around his evillllll court.
"A musical lament cuz I'm Ring-departed,
I'm gonna' sing this really really loud,
You're gonna' feel my pain
When you hear my so-und"
Then everyone sang as they danced:
"WHERE'S MY RING?
IT'S GOLD AND SHINY!
IT WHISPERS EVIL WORDS WHEN NO ONE'S LOOKI-ING!"
"That didn't rhyme." Whispered one Nazgul.
"I JUST WANT MY RING BACK WITH ME!
IT GIVES ME POWER AND KEEPS US BLACK
JUST LIKE I SAID
I WANT MY RING BACK!
I JUST WANT MY RING BACK WITH ME!
WHERE'S MY RING?"
Everyone broke into a bunch of synchronized dancing and singing.
Sauron started jumping up and down, screaming. He ended the song short, ran to the window, and bellowed to all of Middle Earth
"I AM THE LORD OF THE DANCE!"
Everyone in Arda heard him.
"He is NOT the Lord of the Dance!" remarked Elrond.
The camera backed up, the lights went out and a single spotlight shone on him.
"I, LORD ELROND OF IMLADRIS, AM THE LORD OF THE DANCE!"
More instruments struck up and Elrond got out his microphone that he always kept in the back of his pocket just for occasions like these.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Should I continue? YES! MY LYRICS SSSSSSSUUUUCCKK! I SUCK AT RE-WRITING LYRCS, BUT I DID IT ANYWAY CUZ I WANTED TO HUMOR MYSELF!