Chapter One
To say that Shikamaru adored Temari was perhaps the world's largest understatement. Though he would not, or rather, could not bring himself to say the words aloud, for fear of troublesome reactions, he loved her more than anything that had ever existed. When he got up in the morning to begin his day, hers was the face he thought of. When he faced troubles of massive proportions, she was the one he fought to see again. That is why, when she urged him to travel the many miles between their lands, he quickly agreed without question. That is why he stood there, before the gates of Suna with excitement churning in his stomach, lighting up the dark eyes set in an expressionless face.
"Good afternoon, sir. May I see your profile?" Shikamaru's gaze shifted back from the sand-smoothed shape of the Kazekage's mansion to look at the gate guard. He was old compared to Shikamaru's mere seventeen years, but the Konoha native knew the ancient guard as two other people. From frequent crossings between Konoha and Suna, Shikamaru knew him as a humorous friend. From only one mock-battle, he also knew him as a formidable opponent.
"It is good to see you again, Minoru," Shikamaru greeted as he reached for his passport. He withdrew his small booklet from the pocket of his worn flak jacket and it changed hands. "How have you been?"
"Fair enough," Minoru replied honestly. He smudged a small stamp across one page of the book and handed it back to Shikamaru. "My eldest son is finally sending his youngest child off to our Academy as my youngest daughter plans to get married. Other than that, I have no news to report."
"No news is good news," Shikamaru recited, returning his profile to the pocket he had pulled it from. "I will see you again, soon." He gave a small wave and turned towards the tower that was the Kazekage's mansion.
As he walked through Suna in the direction of largest building, many people called out greetings to him. After so many trips to Suna to not only visit Temari but to act as an ambassador from Konoha, the majority of the village people knew him by face if not by name. Shopkeepers and market-goers alike raised their hands in salutation. Shikamaru smiled and nodded his responses to all. After all, there was no other place that welcomed him as heartily as Suna. Admittedly, after a particularly difficult, well-publicized mission, he was greeted warmly in Konoha upon return, but it did not compare to the amiable air in this sandy village.
The friendliness welled up in his chest, lasting the entire remainder of the trip to the huge double doors that guarded the entrance of the mansion. Upon opening the doors, it was apparent that the mansion, like the gates into the village, was manned by a ninja guard. Shikamaru, after entering, found himself the target of an unknown kunoichi's smile. He returned it only tentatively.
"Er…hello," he said. The female ninja raised her hand in greeting and grinned only wider.
"Good afternoon, Shikamaru." Before he could register the fact that this unknown character knew his name, the woman answered his unprepared questions. "Lady Temari said that if a Leaf Ninja were to enter, to let him pass without question. She is just up the stairs, I believe." The woman bowed slightly and turned around. Shikamaru shrugged and trekked up the stairs that led into the main greeting hall. As he gained the landing, an interesting sight met his eyes.
Temari sat with her face in her hands on the stairs that led to her personal quarters. Gaara stood facing her, face contorted with anger and hands raised in the air as if he had just finished arguing with, and winning against, her. Shikamaru coughed uneasily to alert them of his presence only to be met with an uncharacteristically dirty look from the village leader. The glare seemed to stretch for many moments before the young Kazekage turned with a rustle of his heavy robes and stormed away from them. Shikamaru found himself running to Temari's side. When, however she looked up at him with dry, confused eyes, he came up short and slowed to a walk.
"I-" he started. "You-… What-?" His usually well-thought-out plans eluded him now. He resorted to accepting any form of communication that slipped out. Temari shook her head, the confused look trading with a hardened one before she stood up.
"It's about lunch time," she said. "Perhaps I should have you fed after your long trip." Temari shuffled off in the direction of the vast kitchens, leaving Shikamaru walking slowly in her wake, trying not to step on her purple train. His mind was attempting to wrap around any possible cause of the tense situation he had just walked into.
Minutes late, he sat over a large plate of food, across from Temari, who had a similar amount on hers. He said his thanks before beginning to eat with a satisfied growl erupting from his stomach; No food beat Temari's food. It was a moment before he looked up and realized that Temari was not eating off of her own plate, but instead staring out of the large windows that overlooked the village. This was odd because, for the entire time that he had known her, Temari had never tiptoed around food the way some other women did. She had politely, but aggressively, stated her appetite and then had no shame in eating any myriad of things in front of him. It was, in fact, one of the greatest things he knew about her. He set down his chopsticks and carefully swallowed what he was chewing.
"Temari, what is wrong?" He asked, wincing when his voice boomed in the great empty hall. Her gaze turned from the window to his concerned face and immediately and abruptly fell to her lap. He reached a hand out to touch hers but she withdrew it and stood up, walking to the window she had just been looking out of from the table.
"What do you want from me?" She asked quietly. So quietly, in fact, that Shikamaru almost did not hear the question. He stood as well and crossed the room to where she stood. He looked out of the clear glass at the bustling of the market below. He opened his mouth to say something, but none of his thoughts would form the appropriate words.
"You don't have to answer," she said, her voice lowering closer to monotone with every syllable. She chewed on her lip for a minute before turning away from the eyes that had turned away from the market scene to study her face. "Shikamaru… I don't think you should have to return to Suna to see me."
He thought about this for a moment. His mind split into two completely equal halves. One side of his brain alerted him to her previous tone and actions and prepared his body for any pain that would come with the idea of her refusal to see him anymore. The other half of his brain pulsed adrenaline through his body because surely she meant that the trip was too long and hard to endure and that she would follow him to Konoha to live there. He decided to speak along the lines that one side of his mind was pushing wishful thinking.
"The trip isn't that bad," he said. "But if you would like to come to Konoha, we can find a residence there."
"No," she replied, confirming the other half of his theories. "What I mean is I… don't want you to return to Suna to see me." There was something hidden under the many layers of her voice that he could not quite place. If the very thing were not tearing him apart from the inside-out, Shikamaru might have registered it as pain.
He thought of many things at once. He could walk away this instant and never return, and very much of his will-power demanded he do just that. He could spill one-thousand break-up clichés and try to persuade her otherwise. A lot of his heart and mind told him to just say the three words that had often choked him up… even in the most passionate times of their relationship. Instead, he sufficed with a different selection of speech.
"I'm sorry for whatever I've done," he said and turned on his heel to walk out of the room. He admitted it to himself as he had crossed the entire distance of the dining hall: He had walked slow, hoping that she might turn around and laugh about this joke. As he crossed the threshold into the entrance hall, however, he willed himself not to look back. He knew it was over.
He crossed the entrance hall in the same manner that he crossed the village, and ultimately, the desert. His head was down, his hands were thrust deep into his pockets, his heart had slowed to nothing but the most necessary thuds and his breathing came through what felt like a constricted straw. He did not cry, but he did not force himself to think about why he was not crying. It took most of the concentration he had to trudge back home without thinking, seeing as the action was what came easiest to him. It seemed that he was moving through thick mud in every way until he reached the doors to his home.
"Welcome back, Shikamaru. That wasn't a-" The guard ninja's voice droned to a stop as Shikamaru passed by without a greeting. The brunette's feet took him all the way home before he even began to register how tired he was. He kicked off his shoes, and without receiving a salutation from either his mother or his father, fell into bed and slept.