I always thought my first X-men story would be about the good guys. But obviously I was wrong. I dunno when this is set, I just did it cause I was bored and wanted to write some crack. None of the characters belong to me. This was fun, maybe I'll do this is again.

This story was inspired off my stupid sunburnt knee, which before you ask I do not scratch with cutlery, but it's hella itchy anyway. Over my time of watching X-men, I haven't actually paid that much attention to the brothhood, but Pietro is one my fave characters, and Todd is my sisters, so I decided to base it off them, so if I made any mistakes feel free to correct me.

Sunburnt

"Yuck, I'm all itchy." Pietro scratched his arms wildly as Lance looked on nonchalantly
"Hey, that's what you get for not wearing sun cream."
"What bad guys have you ever heard of wearing sun cream?" Pietro replied angrily, then continued scratching his sunburnt arms. "Yuck! It's peeling!" He yelled, trying to look at his shoulder awkwardly in the mirror. "And it's got white bumps all over it!" He got right up to the mirror, and started trying to poke them, closing one eye and struggling to inspect them closely.
"Gross. Put a turtle neck on. I don't want your flakes all over the place."
"A turtle neck? Are you crazy? It's the middle of summer! I'll boil!" Lance inspected a scab on his hand, looking up as Pietro continued to speed towards him, then back to the mirror. "Plus they're itchy! And stupid looking!"Lance looked up again slowly to interrupt his rant
"And I should care, becauseee?" Pietro wasn't even paying attention anymore, he was too busy trying to reach areas on his back with a fork, whilst holding another mirror in his other hand.
"You… are disgusting." Lance deadpanned, deciding to not watch anymore in case he thought too much about it. After all, in the entire building there were only 3 forks, so next time he picked up a fork to eat there would be a pretty good chance it would be the same one. Lance couldn't stand it anymore and chucked an old sports jersey at Pietro's head. "Just put it on." He grumbled.

Suddenly Todd kicked open the front door, Fred struggling to get in behind him
"Yo, we're back." Todd dumped some bags on the table and proceeded to hop on it himself. Only to get accidentally buried under the massive load Fred was carrying, emerging dizzily with an ice lolly stuck to his face. Lance raised an eyebrow

"Back from where?" Fred grinned widely

"The food store!" Lance's eyebrow went even higher

"You went grocery shopping?" He finally got up from his chair, opening a few bags and inspecting the objects inside "My mistake, you went crap shopping."

"Well, who wants to eat vegetables?" Todd grabbed one of the bags "Besides, we got some great bargains! You can get tons of stuff for like, a quarter when it's past it's sell by date!" Lance looked at the pair irritably.

"Gee. I wonder why."

"I'm serious!" Todd pulled out a packet and held it up to Lance's face "we got this for a nickel!"

Lance grimaced, and pushed the greenish packet away.

"Great thinking, slime ball. You got relish and no salad?" Todd looked at him confused

"What are you talking about, dude? This is mayonnaise." He said, pointing to the label. Lance jerked back from it

"Is everyone set on making me puke today?" He mumbled, disgusted.

"Oi! Hey! Can one of you scratch my back?" Pietro sprinted round the kitchen, tugging on their sleeves and trying to drag one of them to the mirror. "I can't reach anymore!" He yelled, zooming back to the mirror to inspect his reflection and then back to the table to try and get one of them to do it.

"Pietro is pink." Fred said simply through a mouthful of potato chips.

"Yeahhh, he kinda looks like one of those naked rat things." Todd said, opening the green mayonnaise and scooping some into his mouth. Lance felt himself retch. He grabbed the jersey off the floor and chucked it in Pietro's face again.

"Put the freaking jersey on rat-boy." Lance grumbled, trying not to watch the content Todd eating. Pietro frowned, putting it on, and then tried to figure out how he could still scratch without anyone noticing. Finally Lance looked back at the kitchen table, just to see half a dozen empty crisp packets all over it, and Fred with a ton of crumbs on his face. "What's the point buying food round here? It always gets eaten within half an hour. Thanks to somebody." Directing evils at the large teenager. Pietro suddenly grabbed the jersey, ripping it off himself in a mad frenzy and jumping on the table, making Todd spill his disgusting snack on the floor.

"CAN SOMEONE PLEASE SCRATCH ME ALREADY?!"