Warning this story might contain language and adult themes. I will put a warning at the beginning of each chapter.Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter that world belongs to the wonderful J.K.Rowling.

This story is rated M possibly MA in later chapters.

Remus Lupin, 6th year Gryffindor prefect, of Hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry was sat on top of his trunk at platform 9 3/4. His mother had just left and his father hadn't even bothered coming. He expected it of his father but he didn't expect his mother to leave the station before the gleaming scarlett Hogwarts Express had departed. He had one of the worst summers ever and was happy to be going back to school. He didn't know what to tell his friends as he hadn't replied to any of their letters and he knew that they would want answers. In all honesty, he hadn't done anything at all all summer. As he sat there trying to repress the memories of that terrible night his friends were worried sick looking for him and he knew he should go and find them but he couldn't bring himself to face them. He got up and dragged his case behind him as he slouched of to find a compartment at the back end of the train. He sat down and pulled out his old and battered notebook that he loved and flicked through to the last page he wrote on. He had wrote himself a list of reasons to be happy which was as follows: I go to Hogwarts, I am friends with the 2 most popular boys there, both of my parents are alive and love me in their own way(even my father i guess), I have the best friends ever, thanks to said friends the full moons are more bearable, Sirius Black. 6 reasons to be happy. He had been trying to list 10 and had only managed to get a measly 6. It was at times like this when he truly hated being a perfectionist. He had to have everything neatly arranged in a certain way and had to have everything he did perfect and he would push himself until he had perfected even the simplest of spells. He saw it as the only control he would ever get in his life and ever since Greyback had bitten him before his 5th birthday he had found comfort in control, familiarity, routine and schedules. Just as the view in the window changed from city streets to the green country landscape James Potter stumbled into the compartment. His unruly black hair as messy as ever and his hazel eyes flooded with relief behind his glasses that were askew. He turned back into the corridor and shouted loudly "I've found him." He sat down as Peter Pettigrew with his sandy hair and blue eyes walked in and sat next to him. Suddenly, but not long after that a tallish boy with raven hair and stormy grey eyes tumbled into the compartment and was in a heap on the floor. It was, obviously due to the dramatic entrance, the one and only Sirius Black. He looked up at Remus and his face broke into a genuine, charming smile. Remus felt like there were butterflies in his stomach and he became a bit uneasy. Before they broke up for summer it had been declared to the four friends that Sirius Orion Black was in love with one Remus John Lupin. Remus felt the same way but they had never officially become a couple so he wasn't so sure what to do with himself. He decided to just move up and motion for Sirius to take a seat next to him and made a mental note to talk to Sirius about weather or not they were dating later as he didn't really want to have it in front of the other two. As Sirius yawned he slung his arm over Remus' shoulders and James asked him how his summer was. Remus had flashbacks of his basement floor and his father in st mungos with his aunt and uncle and him not being allowed to receive letters from his friends. He decided not to tell his friends about that as they would freak and he didn't want them worried about him, especially as he had almost killed someone and could have ended up in Azkaban or dead.

"It was ok," he said "a bit boring without you guys though."

As they arrived at Hogwarts Remus became quiet and detached and only picked and nibbled at small portions of food during the feast. He stayed up late with Sirius and when the common room was empty decided to talk about their relationship.

"Sirius, you know that I'm kinda in love with you right?" He said.

Sirius nodded with a confused expression carved into his perfect features.

"Well i was kinda wondering if you would maybe consider being my boyfriend," Remus stuttered.

Sirius' face broke into a gleeful smile as he chuckled "There isn't anything for me to consider with you Remmy. I love you and that's that. Of course I'll be your boyfriend Remus."

And for the first time since they had broken up for summer break he felt less broken and that was ok for now.

Let me know what you think. This is my first fanfiction.