SORRY THIS IS MY SECOND ATTEPMT AT ANGST, AND WELL I'M NOT SO GOOD AT IT, PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT, SO ANY ADVICE WOULD BE APPRECIATED.
Gokudera POV
Three hours ago I was happy, my boyfriend of five years had proposed to me, of course I had said yes. Mukuro and I had been in love, our relationship wasn't perfect as were both guardians from the highest Family, but we made it work, we fought, we laughed, but no matter the distance we always did our best to make our relationship work. Of course not everyone was in support of our relationship, Lambo never liked that I was dating Mukuro, he accepted the fact that I was gay a long time ago, the problem was that he wished I was dating someone "nice and cuddly" like Yamamoto instead of Mukuro.
Lambo was still a spoilt brat like he was ten years ago, only difference was that he was he stronger and fit to be a Vongola guardian. After Lambo turned ten he started living with me. He was like a son as well as a little brother to me, and I admit it was also my fault that he was such a spoilt brat. I pampered him as well as gave him vigorous training menu which he accepted gladly…. Ok not so gladly. We got along well except for matters that involved Mukuro. I had told him a million times that I didn't see Yamamoto that way, Yamamoto and I had become close over the last ten years. He was the closest thing I had to a best friend, he was never a judgmental person, he always had a smile and listened to all my problems, he was like my human diary. I loved Yamamoto but as a brother, guardian and friend, I wished Lambo could see that and stop trying to my relationship with Mukuro.
When Lambo found out from Haru, that Mukuro took me for a lunch date and proposed he was furious and when we got back, he demanded to know if it was true. After hours of trying to convince Lambo that loved Mukuro irrespective of what he says or do, he lashed out at me and left the house yelling insults and threats. And that was the last time I ever saw him alive.
Three hours later after lots of calls, text messages and the other guardians searching for him. I received a phone call, the caller ID said Lambo but the person who picked up the phone wasn't my Lambo, it was one of the members of a rival family we had been dealing with. I became alarmed and threatened the person.
"Are you sure you are in any position to threaten me Storm guardian?" The gruff unfamiliar voice asked.
"Who the fuck are you, if I find you I'll blow you to pieces"
"Haha… I'll like to see you try, you should see what the boss did to your little brother, it's one of his best works. I didn't know Vongola guardians were so careless as to be ambushed easily. The boss even left a note for you."
"What did you do to him?" I asked pleadingly, I had a bad feeling about this. The idiot finally told me where Lambo was before hanging up.
"Babe, what's wrong?" Mukuro asked, he noticed the change in my voice, and instantly knew something was wrong, Tsuna as well as the other guardian except Hibari were here, as we had all been looking for Lambo.
"They got him, I got angry at him… and he left… and they ambushed him" I whispered, trying to hide the pain and worry in my voice.
"Hayato, who got ambushed?" Yamamoto asked, everyone was starting to look at me with a worried look.
"Lambo" I answered.
After Gokudera told them what the caller said they all rushed to the location.
Normal POV
When they got to the location, they were shocked, Lambo was scattered on the floor and walls, his entrails were spread around, blood was everywhere in contrast to the white wall, like an amateur abstract painting, his hand held a paper of some sort, his head was placed on the table with his ring next to it, as if to mock the Vongola, his eyes were blank and staring directly at Gokudera telling him this was his fault.
The sight sickened Gokudera, he looked at what was left of his little brother, no one would called him stupidera or nii-chan, he had lost his little brother because he was careless, because he didn't show him how much he meant to him, because he was selfish. It was his fault for dating Mukuro if he hadn't, Lambo would still be alive, it was Mukuro's fault for loving him, protecting him and always being there for him. He was mad at Tsuna for making the little boy a guardian, maybe if he hadn't, Lambo would still be alive and would have led a normal life, the pain and guilt ate him.
Gokudera's eyes were bloodshot red, cold, distant and full of hate and pity. Tears refused to fall stinging his eyes making sure it hurt, he was frozen, he couldn't move, he couldn't avert his eyes from the sight in front of him, this would be permanently imprinted in his memory, the guilt would forever eat him away, he stared at the note in the cold, lifeless arm, it was directed to him, it was from the rival boss leader, warning him and celebrating his victory.
He felt a pair of arms wrap itself around him, it was probably Mukuro, he let the arm console him but instead of feeling better he felt worse, he removed the arm around him, and walked away, saying nothing. No doubt the guardians were looking at him, they were watching him walk away, they knew he needed to calm down, he needed to be alone.
He heard some footsteps behind him; someone was following him, Probably Mukuro or Yamamoto. He didn't want to be consoled he just wanted to end it all.
He walked in to his apartment; he walked into Lambo's room. He felt like a foreigner, he felt like a murderer, he had practically killed his little brother. He walked to the bed; he sat down, and drowned in the scent of his lost one. The pain was overwhelming, the voices in his head, mocked him, judged him, blamed him and he accepted it, he deserved to be the one laying on the ground lifeless not the poor boy.
His eyes were stinging, but the tears refused to fall, content with making his eyes hurt and his vision blurry instead. He walked towards Lambo's wardrobe. The realization that he would never see the spoilt brat the next morning in pajamas bottoms demanding coffee hit him, the pain got worse, he felt someone at the door staring at him, the person said nothing, the silence was comforting yet painful. He walked past Mukuro and went to the piano room. He never got to play for Lambo, he always refused and said he wasn't ready yet, but would be soon. He was ready now but it was already too late.
He grabbed the piano harshly, holding unto it as if it was his lifeline then he suddenly let go, the piano had always been filled with pain, it always held bad memories for him, and now it had claimed yet another bad memory. He sat down, lifted up the lid and closed his eyes.
His fingers began to move, the sound of the piano began to fill the room, his mind was in turmoil he didn't know what was going on, everything was moving slow, everything was in black and white he was having a bad dream he would never wake up from, by the time he regained his senses he realized he was playing "Hallelujah by Leonardo Cohen". What an irony.
He suddenly stopped playing and staggered to his room, like a lifeless doll and collapsed on the bed, a pair of comforting arms held him and stroked his hair, those arms were always there for him, the owner was said to be a sadist but he knew that wasn't true.
Mukuro sat down at the edge of the bed watching his lover drown in misery and realizing that he didn't want to be saved, he didn't want anyone to console him. He wanted to bear all the pain… alone.
Three hours later, Gokudera stood up, Mukuro was sleeping besides him, he silently walked in to Lambo's room, he looked around the pain was still too much, he took the knife Belphegor had gotten Lambo as birthday gift, he took the bloodied note the bastards had put in Lambo's lifeless body. And he left the house.
Now I've heard there was a secret chord
That David played, and it pleased the Lord
But you don't really care for music, do you?
It goes like this
The fourth, the fifth
The minor fall, the major lift
The baffled king composing Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
His body was moving on its own, everything was still moving slowly and was in black and white. He had walked into the Rival family's base unconsciously, the tears finally began to flow, his vision got blurry, but he didn't care, his body began to move on its own, slashing, blowing up and killing anyone in his path, his body was covered in cuts, bullet holes but his vitals were okay.
"You don't care about me, all you care about is that pineapple bastard. He'll leave you someday and you'll be miserable, why can't you date someone like Yamamoto" Lambo yelled.
Gokudera and Lambo were arguing about the engagement, Lambo was angry and pissed that Gokudera agreed to Mukuro's proposal even though he knew Lambo didn't like Mukuro.
"Shut up and listen to me you spoilt brat, I accepted his proposal and there is nothing you can d about it, I don't care what you think, I'm not breaking up with him just because a spoilt brat doesn't like him"
"Fine do what you want I hate you" Lambo said storming out of the house in rage.
"I hate you too"
Your faith was strong but you needed proof
You saw her bathing on the roof
Her beauty in the moonlight overthrew you
She tied you to a kitchen chair
She broke your throne, and she cut your hair
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
He hadn't realized that he was crushing the windpipe of the man in front of him, the tears were falling down his face, his eyes were red, the pain was overwhelming, and the guilt made him feel worse, the last thing he told him was that he hated him. He hated himself for letting Lambo leave the house; he hated himself for not falling in Love with Yamamoto in the first place.
Five years ago
Gokudera agreed to let Lambo live with him, as he lived alone and there was a spare bedroom, the two of them were always arguing but as time went on they learned to live together without fighting or arguing, they were like family, he remembered when he took Lambo with him on a mission. Lambo was happy and even hugged him. He felt like a father and big brother
There was a time when you let me know
What's really going on below
But now you never show it to me, do you?
And remember when I moved in you
The holy dove was moving too
And every breath we drew was Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
He walked to the second floor and found the Boss staring at him in horror, everything went by quickly yet slowly, his brain hadn't registered what was going on, not that he cared. When he finally came to his senses, he saw the walls covered in blood and entrails, some walls were crumbling, windows shattered, he was covered in cuts and holes, the boss was screaming in pain, Uri in Leopard mode was by his side. He had slashed the boss stomach, he took out the note from his pocket, and it was now covered in his blood as well as Lambo's. He finally realized that his other hand was holding a knife covered in blood and what looked like a part of someone's organ. The tears didn't stop, the flashbacks didn't stop, his eyes were red and swollen, he wanted to wake up from this dream, but he couldn't. He pushed the boss and using all the strength he had left he pinned the to the table with the knife, he screamed, blood was everywhere.
You say I took the name in vain
I don't even know the name
But if I did, well, really, what's it to you?
There's a blaze of light in every word
It doesn't matter which you heard
The holy or the broken Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
The building was silent, except for the sirens outside and the sound of people coming out of a car, the silence was cut short with the sound of doors slamming. He wanted to die, he wanted to end it all, he closed his eyes, and finally realized that he was in pain, he was seriously injured, he had lost a lot of blodd and was probably going to die here, he couldn't move any more, the image of Mukuro flashed his mind, the image of Lambo laughing followed, then he realized that he really didn't want to die, he wanted to live, he has someone who cared about him , he had someone who loved him unconditionally, the pain got worse; the pain was physical, mental and emotional. He wanted to hold Lambo one last time but it was too late, he wanted to kiss Mukuro one last time, but it was too late.
I did my best, it wasn't much
I couldn't feel, so I tried to touch
I've told the truth, I didn't come to fool you
And even though it all went wrong
I'll stand before the Lord of Song
With nothing on my tongue but Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
He finally gave up struggling, the sounds of voices, people shouting his name from afar, the voices sounded familiar but his braid couldn't identify whose voice it was, then everything went black, all the pain stopped, everything became peaceful, he was finally going to meet Lambo.
Thirty minutes earlier
Mukuro had woken up and found out that Gokudera wasn't in bed with him, he panicked, he rushed to Lambo's room but he wasn't there, the room was a mess; no doubt Gokudera had been ear earlier searching for something. He rushed to the piano room, but it was cold and empty, the checked the kitchen but it was also empty, he found out that the door wasn't looked and that Gokudera's car was gone.
He picked up the phone and asked Tsuna, Yamamoto if his fiancé was there but neither knew where he was. This was really bad, then he considered the fact that Gokudera had gone to the rival family's base. He told Tsuna and Gokudera to gather all other guardians, they all had the same suspicion that Gokudera might be at the rival's base.
Tsuna, Yamamoto, Mukuro, Shamal, Bianchi as well as the other guardians had arrived at the rival's base, some parts of the building was crumbling, no doubt Gokudera had done this. Yamamoto, Hibari Bianchi and Mukuro rushed into the building without thinking only to meet mutilated body parts, entrails all over the floor, red walls stained with blood like an irregular scarlet curtain, the floor was covered in blood, the walls were crumbling, glasses were scattered everywhere. They checked the bodies but Gokudera wasn't among them, they ran up the shaking stairs to the next floor but like the previous there were only bodies, blood, and glass. Gokudera wasn't there; they screamed his name but no reply.
Tears were falling down Bianchi's face, she wasn't weak but she was worried about Hayato, considering the amount of damage he had done there was no way he would be okay, she prayed he was still alive.
They climbed to the second floor, and saw the walls crumble, like the other floors it was gore, vile and sickening. Mukuro ran to check the boss office while the rest checked the other office for any sign of his fiancé.
Mukuro saw the rival boss, one hand was pinned to the table with the knife Belphegor gave Lambo on his last birthday, the other hand held the note that was found in Lambo's hand. Next to him was Uri and Leopard form protecting something, he came closer only to be faced with his worst nightmare, his fiancé covered in cuts, bullet wounds drowning in his own blood. Bianchi screamed and tried to run to Hayato but Yamamoto held her, Hibari stood next to his lover Yamamoto saying nothing.
"Get shamal her now" Mukuro yelled. His voice was cold, and filled with menace.
It had been three days since Gokudera had been in the hospital, the Vongola doctors as well as Dr Shamal had done the best they could, the bleeding had stopped, there were scars all over his body, but despite everything Gokudera hadn't woken up, Mukuro sat next to him, his eyes were red and had bags underneath, he hadn't slept for three days and yelled at anyone who told him to sleep.
The guardians watched Gokudera through the glass wall they were filled with sadness, worry and disbelief. Disbelief that Gokudera could kill an entire mafia family, even though he barely survived, they knew he was strong, careless and let his emotions get the best of him, but he had never gone this far before. Members of Vongola allied families as well as rival families sent their consolation. Families came to check to see if the rumors of Vongola storm guardian were true.
Mukuro closed his eyes to take a short nap when Suddenly the heart monitor started beeping differently he woke up instantly, and felt a weak grip on his hands and a pair of dull green eyes looking at him, he smiled before calling for a doctor, threatening to kill any doctor who didn't come immediately.
"You look terrible" Gokudera said weakly.
"You look worse than me" Mukuro replied. Gokudera laughed, before coughing heavily, causing Mukuro to become worried. "Don't say anything the doctor is coming. Don't try anything this stupid ever again, I almost lost you."