Okay, oneshot(?) about how Keller copes – or rather, doesn't – with being stuck in Daybreak headquarters (or is it enclave? or hideout? Oh I don't know, whatever it was in 'Thicker Than Water' – check LJ Smith's website if you haven't read it!).
Inspired by the many adorable fanfics already out there about this lovely and perfect couple.
Sadly own nothing but this individual plot. I'm sorry if I OOC'd any of the characters, but I think and hope I did okay.
PS: Am I the only one who thinks of Yaksha from "The Last Vampire" books by Christopher Pike? Cos they're similar words and the two monsters have similar origin depending on which myths you've read. Personally, I think they'd like the comparison to each other, they just wouldn't admit it.
xxx GC
"Keller?" Galen murmured, looking more than a little embarrassed as he gazed up at her from his position in front of her. He studied her face for a moment, the swirling fog of her smoky eyes "Raksha, are you okay?" He attempted to reach out to touch her arm, try and bring her mind back from wherever it had gone wandering to this time.
She jerked backwards, away from him, and yes that stung, but more important than that was the need to know why. Keller had been acting strangely for a little while now, but he'd been a little busy arranging and psyching himself up for the big question… which she seemed to have just ignored in that infuriating way she ignored anything that she thought could hurt her in any way other than physically.
"Keller!" He screamed after her as she turned tail – not quite literally yet – and fled, beaming the words I'm sorry! into his mind, or perhaps, more accurately, his soul, as they were soulmates not… mind mates. Even as he stood up, thoroughly confused as he shut the ring box and returned it to his pocket, he got chills at the knowledge the Keller was his, his own personal soulmate, the other half of him, the other half of the painting that made everything turn from abstract to focus.
But still, he thought, why had she run? It hadn't been a rejection per se, she hadn't felt unhappy to him, just… restless. But then, of course, Keller was almost always restless, she was one of the people that felt a need to move to gain any sense of relaxation. Galen didn't quite understand that need, but the longer he was a shapeshifter, the more and more it made sense, and of course, being around Keller a lot had given him insights into what made her so, well, restless.
Galen took a frustrated breath, blowing his growing hair from his eyes, and started to walk in the general direction of her that he could feel from their bond – an almost perfect compass. I might love her eternally, he thought, but she can still be bloody exasperating when she does this. Yet he couldn't shake the idea that she had only started this particular method when she met him – which made him a bad influence… or a good one if it meant she wasn't forcing herself to suffer more than necessary… Oh Goddess, Keller was confusing sometimes.
…
Okay Keller, let's pretend that you're on a mission, and that you've got to find an exit beyond the obvious, but highly guarded gates. The comparison calmed her a little, working always did, that's why she had ever done it, because it stopped her thinking, or perhaps more importantly, from feeling.
Yet still, even as she furiously paced through the Paradise, she could feel its fakeness, and she trembled a little even in her panther skin – she was not cold, she would never allow for such a lowly cause for shudders – as the thought spiralled powerfully into her panther's brain. She had shifted to escape that thought, and still it pursued her! What did she have to do to get away from it, from this pretty cage?
Galen proposed to me. Galen asked me to marry him. Galen wants to marry me. Galen knelt in front of me like I'm royalty or something. Galen, Galen, Galen, Galen…
Keller stopped, giving an all-over body shake that only animals could perform – and shapeshifters. I said not to think about that! She yelled at her mind, accompanying it with a rasping growl as if to try and scare herself. If I don't think about it, it won't have happened, or at least it won't have to me, and I can go on as normal.
But the war was a losing one, because she couldn't rid herself of that fragile, shaking fear in her. The same terror she had tried to cover with training and duty and brutality her whole life, the essence of her that cried so easily which she had hidden away behind her icy mask and fatal claws.
No, I said stop. Now move it pantheress!
And she did, she leapt forward with a snarling yowl to chase away that pitiful part of her that only emerged around Galen. She chased imaginary foes and followed the trails of prey-scents, but nothing helped! The burn of her strong muscles after so long of movement, of endless movement her body was not designed for. One flaw, she thinks, in my animal form, I need to move endlessly, but my panther doesn't have the stamina for it. It's built for stealth and speed damnit! Whoever assigned such things did a crappy job for me!
What shape would you rather be? The gentle thought angered Keller, putting energised fire back into her lungs which again commanded her to move, and like any grunt, she obeyed.
Trees blurred past her, deer and other wildlife crashed away from the crazed predator, screeching warnings to each other which Keller chose not to notice. Even though her twitching ears heard all, she was quite capable of filing things into Important and Not Important, where sensory stimulation was concerned.
She surged through the whole Paradise, 'vast' as it was supposed to be, she was frightened enough to supply orders to her body long after it should've refused to take them. Her weary legs came to a final stop at the fence, and she realised that it had been what she was looking for this whole time, what she'd needed to see. What she must defeat at the soonest possible time.
…
"Keller?" Galen asked, upon spotting the chiaroscuro form a little ways away, black hair falling like a curtain, and fur jumpsuit dipped in the perfume of her sweat. What he could see of her skin looked whiter than was entirely healthy, almost ashen. It was exactly how she'd looked the one time she'd admitted to feeling ill.
His soulmate was collapsed against the border-fence which surrounded the Daybreaker headquarters and prevented any and all from leaving. Her hands pressed weakly against the painted metal – no mere chain-links here, only an almost-indestructible metal alloy – and she was making this… sound, it was heartwrenching, not quite gasps, or sobs, or whimpers or moans, but a mixture that he hadn't known existed.
As he got closer to her, the vibrant scent of her strengthened, as did the volume of that noise. He almost couldn't bear to hear it, but knew better than to leave her, though she'd rarely ever admit it – that single time she did, she had been high on painkillers – she needed comforting on occasion.
"Raksha?" he whispered, using her first name was something she didn't let him do very often, so he liked to use it to get her full attention – which otherwise could be a challenge.
She stiffened, pressed her forehead to the fence – wall would be a better word – and a faint growl emanated as she hunched her shoulders, as if… as if he would attack her.
Realising that that particular tactic was not going to work, he tried another. Keller, kitty-cat, what's wrong?
She didn't answer him, or at least, not in the conventional sense – aka, words, through their bond or aloud – her answer was a wave of feeling which sent Galen reeling, but towards her, not away. What she'd sent him… was horrible, the awful sensation of being trapped and not able to escape, of living one of your nightmares, of seeing and smelling and hearing the world outside, but being barred in, caged. But worse than even all of those combined was the terrible crushed feeling from her, like she was dying inside at the loss of her freedom.
"I can smell it Galen, the air from outside, it's driving me mad. I'm just… just… just—" she broke off on a groan of frustration, rising fluidly into a stand, whereupon she immediately began to pace, black hair snapping back and forth whenever she turned. "I've got to get out of here." she finally looked right at him, and the sight of her eyes broke his heart, because what watched her was not his soulmate, but the dumb stare of a caged animal you see in photos about abusive or negligent zoos. Not helped at all by the fact that – while pacing – she'd reflexively shifted a little, into her half-and-half form which Galen could not accomplish.
"Kitty-cat, come here." he murmured, opening his arms to receive her, but she just looked at him mutely, her only movement the swish of her tail. Okay, he thought to himself, I know how to deal with this, I don't like it, but I know it works when she's this… distressed. "I said, come here." his words were now an order, and orders were something she had a hard time refusing, even when whatever made her her was elsewhere.
She obeyed, walking towards him with that agonising pain written all over her body as it twitched and tried to flow from one form to another but not knowing which way to go. Galen could not forget his idea that Keller liked shifting so much because she didn't want to belong to anything. As if even her body, human or panther, was a trap she longed to escape, though apparently half-and-half improved her happiness a little, as long as she was alone or with him only.
…
Galen closed his arms around her tightly, fusing her body into the state it was in, trapping her as the strange thing that had forced her parents – even one of whom who was a shapeshifter himself – to name her Raksha, or 'demon'. For no other shapeshifter they knew of could be two things at once, only she, and she was repulsive because of it, a freak of nature.
"Keller, don't you dare think that!" Galen spoke harshly into her face "You're beautiful like this." he whispered, reaching out to stroke the soft, thin skin of her panther ear, which twitched reflexively at the contact, but he didn't stop.
Keller couldn't help herself, she giggled, because it tickled immensely – in a pleasant sort of way – and her ear wouldn't stop fidgeting at the attention, no matter how much she commanded it to. After about a minute of focussed stroking of her hair and sensitive cat-ears – which forced her to grab hold of him to stay upright – Galen relented with a smile.
She hated to ruin the moment, but her heart was still pounding, she still needed to move, to just get out of here! She didn't do cages, and no matter how big it was, or how pretty and comfortable, she was still barred in, and she couldn't stand it. Her skin begin to try to liquefy, uncertain of which shape to become, as she herself wasn't sure either.
"Oh my kitty-cat, you know we can't leave…" Galen murmured apologetically, "None of us can, unless we're given a mission."
Missions… The idea had once appealed to Keller, in the early stages of her desperation, before she had realised they were just another trap, the only excuse she could keep hold of was that they were a useful employment of her time. Yet, the problem remained, she would have to go to a specified place, to do a specified task, for a specified duration. She would not be free.
Her skin itched, felt wrong and uncomfortable, like it didn't fit, because it didn't. She knew better than to wonder if shifting would help, if her half-and-half form didn't satisfy her current need for liberation, more solid ones could only make it worse. She was caged, trapped in the Daybreaker hideout, trapped in her body, unable to escape either.
Let me out, let me out, let me out. Her mind repeated the words over and over again, beginning to blur them together until they just became nonsense.
"Raksha Keller!" Galen exclaimed, shaking her by her slightly furry shoulders. "Stop this." he begged, those golden-green eyes big and in such an attempt at puppy-dog, but dogs don't get on with cats, so it had no effect on her. "I can't bear to see you like this."
She looked mournfully at the wall, which had been so cruelly painted like a continuation of the world, the outside world she may never see again. She was going to die in this gilded cage…
"No, no Keller. We're all going to get out of here one day."
She could hear that he believed that, with a strange determination that didn't make sense for a moment, until she realised, he was trying to convince himself too!
Galen nodded, and Keller had to silence her mind, he was too good at picking up her thoughts "Even the best of us hate it here sometimes, Keller. You're just not coping as well as other people."
That was a surprise to her, but not for long, she had learnt long ago that she sucked at reading people, so if Galen said she was not the only one struggling, then she would believe him.
"Come on, there's no point in us just standing around out here." he took her right hand.
"I'm as close to outside here as anywhere."
He gave her one of those looks, the ones she knew weren't deliberately designed to seem princely, but she felt they did nonetheless. "It's no use pining out here, it won't change anything."
Then she remembered, her mind had stopped briefly and recalled how this had all started in the gardens, Galen had proposed to her.
…
She was thinking about it, Galen could almost always tell what she was thinking, and this wasn't even a maybe, the image of him on his knee with a ring in hand was blazing through her mind, igniting the same fear he'd felt from her before, the same sensation of being trapped.
That was awful, not only had she run away, she was scared by what he'd asked her. But why? What was so frightening?
"Galen… please don't look at me like that." her eyes glittered with tears as she spoke miserably. "It wasn't— I didn't—" she bit her lip and closed her eyes, struggling to find the words, it was not something Galen was unused to waiting for. "I'm sorry I ran," she whispered finally, blinking to try and clear away the shininess of her eyes. "But— I—" the sheer despair on her face was palpable, Galen could feel waves of her anguish at the lack of an ability to explain herself. "It's not you," she said finally, eyes hard now, but Galen knew better than to think the anger was for him, despite his own annoyance at the cliché "I just can't… I can't do the marriage and babies thing, it's not who I am. Oh Galen, I do love you, but I can't— I can't be…"
"You feel trapped by my asking to marry you." Galen attempted to sum it up for her.
Keller nodded "I don't know how to say this nicely, so please don't be mad."
Galen waited, anxious to know what was so desperately horrifying to her that her body kept trying to change shape, switching between human features, and more panther-like ones.
"I can't be owned by anyone, even you."
…
Keller could not believe she had just said that aloud. It was true, yes, but the look of pure anguish on her soulmate's face made her want to take it all back and say yes to his question, if only to please him – but she could not, it was not in her nature, the idea of belonging to someone was repellent to her, it was one of the many reasons she had struggled so fiercely against accepting their connection in the first place.
The idea of a ring on her finger, or around her neck or wherever, marking her as Galen's property – no, not happening, not ever.
The idea of a child clinging to her leg, or her arm, or her hair, cooing at her, or feeding from her breast – again, not ever going to happen, because she wouldn't let it.
Keller belonged to nobody, and was attached to nothing except her soulmate, mostly because she didn't have a choice in that factor. Keller was purely her own. Keller needed her freedom, and it would not count if it was given to her by Galen, even though he'd never intentionally—
"Keller, stop, I get the point." those green eyes that were filled with glistening light, were now also filled with tears.
"I'm sorry Galen!" the sob was wrenched from her, showing all the sincerity she could muster "I promise that it's nothing to do with you, I just can't bear the idea of—"
"I know Keller," he interrupted her again with a small smile "I heard you, and, before you ask, I forgive you." Keller gave a quiet, fluttery sigh of relief "I wouldn't change you even if I could, so I'll just have to learn to accept another of your weird idiosyncrasies."
"I really am sorry Galen." Keller repeated, even if she were blind she would've been able to see the pain radiating from him which put her trapped-animal screams into the background – for now.
"You know what? I kinda am too, I spent so long trying to be brave enough to ask you, that I didn't notice you doing that all the time." his tone made the words a lot kinder than their literal meaning could've been as he gestured to Keller's unintentional shaking. "Now, come on, let's get you back and find you a cup of tea or something, calm you down."
She couldn't help it, she burst into laughter "Tea?" she smirked "Do you really think I'd ever drink tea?"
"You might if I asked you to." he answered without turning back, so she was obliged to follow. "It's very good for the nerves y'know."
"I don't care!" Keller exclaimed, still chuckling a little "It's tea, the drink of posh people, and the British!"
"Tea actually comes from Asia." Galen pointed out "But, ignoring your ignorance of that matter, which does it make me?"
"Posh, duh!" Keller's left ear twitched at a noise in the undergrowth, reminding her she needed to shift back, it was public decency to not startle the shit out of people with it. She stopped for a moment, focussing on her human shape, and willing her tail – her beloved tail! – to retract, her ears to melt back into the human place and shape, and the misting of fur across her skin to fade away. It was hard, saying goodbye to the magic of that shape, the clear memory of human thought, combined with the things she loved most about being a panther – and it was not just emotionally difficult this time. She had to stand and breathe levelly for some time before she could flick that hidden switch inside herself and force her body back into that of a human.
…
Galen waited, both patiently, and nervously for Keller to become fully human again, nervously as she'd never had such trouble shifting in all the time he'd known her. It took almost a full five minutes, and that was not natural for any shapeshifter, even for the inexperienced shifting was next to instantaneous, not the slow torture Keller had just endured.
"Keller…" he murmured sympathetically.
"I'm fine!" she snapped, striding ahead and putting her back to him as she ran. Galen said nothing in reply, just began to jog after her, deciding not to let her out of his sight for the foreseeable future, or someone rational's sight anyway.
…
How dare they do this to me? How dare even Lord Thierry trap me here?! Out, out, out, let me out! No, calm down, Prince Galen says you have to stay here, and Prince is higher than Lord, I can obey my Prince. No, no, no, no I can't! I need to get out of here! I can't stand this! I can't live like this! I need to see the sky, I need to feel the wind on my face, I need to feel the real sun! I need to get out of this place!
Keller's thoughts spiralled uselessly in her head, as frantic for escape as the rest of her, body and soul.
Patience, she told herself, think of a plan, then see it through. You can't get out of here on your own, but there will be others willing to help, just think of who would want to go, who would actually go if given the choice, and who also wouldn't tell. Now you have a list of possible candidates, narrow it down to who would be in any way useful on the outside, who would be able to hold their own in a fight. Now, cross-reference that with who could possibly have a way to get out without having to kill any guards.
"Hiya sissy!" Rashel called, leaping up from snuggling with Quinn in their shared bedroom, at which he only looked a little annoyed.
Keller was a little uncertain as to why Galen had led her autopiloted-self here, to her sister, but she was certain of one thing at least "How many times must I tell you not to call me that?" she asked her twin wearily, and incredibly anxious of the truth of the word's other meaning.
"Probably once more, as always." Quinn smiled at her, he'd always been very kind to Keller and it had only increased since learning his soulmate's relationship with her. "But still, anything we can do for you, this fine day?"
Keller looked at Galen, she herself wanted to know why she'd been brought here, not that she minded seeing her sister, but she really wasn't in the mood for teaching.
…
What's wrong? Quinn's mental voice was powerful, but calmly concerned, a pleasant sort of not-sound.
Keller's wrong. I need someone to keep an eye on her while I go talk to Lord Thierry.
Quinn smirked a little. You want us to babysit your soulmate.
Yes, and don't you dare let her go anywhere on her own.
Ooh, now you have to tell me why.
She's… not coping well with being here, I found her by the wall earlier, and she got stuck in her half-n-half form for ages she was so… upset.
What is Lord Thierry supposed to do about it? Quinn leant forward, and Rashel followed suit, twigging on to the fact there was a conversation happening.
Do about what? She asked, and Quinn filled her in quickly. Oh poor Keller!
Galen frowned at them. Just make sure she doesn't do anything… Then answered Quinn's question. I'm going to ask Thierry to let her out.
With that, Galen turned away, leaving the three to do whatever they would do.
…
Keller was thoroughly confused, and her head was pounding like crazy, that same thought bouncing against her skull and causing a splitting headache. Let me out, let me out, let me out!
Of course, she still physically heard when Rashel came up beside her, and still saw the face of her twin, so like her own, as she spoke "Keller?"
"Yeah?"
"Is there anything we could do to help?"
Keller shook her head for only a moment before remembering her list, and answering instead "Yes, well, maybe." she smiled at Quinn, trying to appear apologetic "Can we have some privacy?"
The vampire narrowed his eyes at her, suspicious, but nodding anyway, yet still giving Rashel a meaningful glance that was lost on Keller. Quinn left the room, shutting the door with a soft click, since Keller knew the extent of his senses, she waited until she herself could no longer hear his footsteps, and a minute more until speaking.
"Rashel?"
"So, how can I help?"
"You probably don't have to do much, but let's first find Jez."
Rashel's brow furrowed "Jez? As in, the Wild Power? Why?"
Keller grinned grimly "You'll see, but I think she'll like my idea. C'mon."
Rashel followed obediently, watching Keller's slinking movements reverently and particularly staring at the way her sister scented the air. "Why are you doing that? Does Jez stink or somethin'?"
"No, but all the, um, active Wild Powers have a distinctive scent and life signature, so I can narrow down her more likely locations, and search each one till we find her."
"You still haven't said what we need her for." Rashel pointed out with a pout as they descended one of the many seemingly-endless staircases.
"You'll see," Keller replied again.
"Okay, if you won't answer that, then tell me this, what do Wild Powers smell of?"
"What do you think they smell of?" Keller challenged.
"Smoke, cos of the fire?"
"Nope."
"Burning?"
"No."
"I give up."
"Thunderstorms, wet pavements, lightning. I don't think blue fire is fire, I think it's more like lightning."
Rashel paused on the steps "Then why the hell is it called 'blue fire'?!"
Keller shrugged, bounding forwards to force her sister to follow "I know where she is, I think all three are there."
"Where?"
"Where d'you think?!" Keller snapped furiously.
"Jeez Kel, calm down, if I had a clue I wouldn't've asked."
"They're practising." Keller had to fight to keep her voice calm when all of her wanted to scream and run around so anyone would notice how awful it was to be trapped here.
She burst into the Wild Powers' training room without so much as a knock or a hello, she got straight to the point and sought out Jez. Jez who had turned instantly upon the unexpected arrival, as had Delos, but Iliana was slower on the uptake – as per usual.
"Um, hi Keller." Iliana smiled that angelic beam and waved gaily, spilling drops of red blood from the cut on her wrist. She peered at Rashel for a moment, until reconition clicked "Ah, I've been waiting to see you, you're Kel's sister aren't you?"
Rashel nodded, edging away from a very fidgety Keller "Yeah, I'm Rashel." then turned her attention back to her sister "Sis, why did you want Jez, you owe me an answer."
Jez stepped closer, red hair bouncing as she licked the blood from her palm "Me? Why'd'ya want me?"
Keller took a breath, ordering her skin to stop moving "Can you just come with me for a moment? I have something I wanted to ask you about."
Jez, Delos and Iliana looked at each other "Um," Jez answered as Delos made a small she's-crazy motion "I guess so."
Keller turned on her heel and left the room, followed by the two bemused girls. She led them outside, to the border of the Paradise, and told them her plan.
Jez loved it, and Rashel thought it would be fun. So they travelled through the Paradise's forest to the border-wall, and set to work.
…
"Come in." Lord Thierry called when Galen knocked, he did and promptly saw the leader of Circle Daybreak at a desk surrounded by paperwork. "Ah, greetings Galen, what can I do for you?"
"Not for me, I've come to ask if there's anything we can do for Keller."
Thierry glanced up from some report to look him in the face "All right then, how can I be of help to Keller?"
"The thing is, I think it might not just be her, so it would be helping a lot of people, not just her."
Thierry narrowed his eyes, placing the paper on the desk and resting his hands on either side of it "Galen, I would advise you to get to the point. Even for the son of the First House of shapeshifters, I do not have all day."
Galen bit his lip, he had not anticipated having to just… well, just say it, he'd intended to equivocate until Thierry figured it out, because that way it was more likely he'd say yes – Galen had hoped. "I was hoping I could persuade you to allow Keller and perhaps a few others to leave the compound."
"You're making requests for missions, on the behalf of others?"
"No, my Lord. Keller needs to, well," now Galen really understood her difficulty with explaining herself, it was not fun when you were also trying be polite. "Keller is struggling to cope with being here all the time, and only leaving on missions."
"Galen, what are you asking for?"
"Permission, for Keller to leave, for an undetermined amount of time, to do whatever she wishes."
Thierry blinked – blinked! – at him in surprise "Well, that's a new one. I am afraid to say Galen, that I cannot allow anyone to just leave, it's too dangerous, and yes I realise missions have the same level of risk, but they are necessary and justified."
"My Lord, I feel I must object." Galen said slowly, not able to believe he was arguing with the master of Circle Daybreak "I believe Keller is a danger to herself like this, she was unable to shapeshift earlier she was so distressed."
As Galen was speaking, the all-amber figure of – Galen had to think for a moment to remember her name – Lupe emerged from a back room, knocking on the wall for his attention "My Lord Thierry, there is something I must speak with you about at your nearest convenience."
Thierry nodded at her, "Just a moment Lupe," then turned back to Galen as she retreated, "Keller shall have help of whatever form is required, relaxation treatments or therapies and the like, but if she is incapable of shapeshifting on command, she would be far more vulnerable to attack. Therefore I must continue to decline your proposal for exit-passes, regardless of how many would like them, it is too great a risk."
Great, Galen thought as he left, my best chance to help her, and he's just said 'no'. She's my soulmate, and he still said 'no'! Surely I am the authority on what would be the best way to help her, but no, he wants her to have massages, manicures and therapy! The idea of Keller having such treatments actually made him laugh as he walked the distance back to Rashel and Quinn's room.
When he got there, he found the door open, but nobody home, so, slightly irritated, he went in search of them. Normally his bond to Keller would make finding her easy, but it seemed the theory that one could block the other was correct, as he had no sense of her whereabouts.
Okay, stay calm Galen, he told himself, there is sure to be a good reason she's preventing you from sensing her. So, let's play her game and go looking the old-fashioned way.
The first logical place to look was his and Keller's room, if the girls had been having a private sisters-only chat. When he discovered his room empty – and he did check under the bed, cos Keller sometimes liked to hide under there – he went to the next logical location, the training rooms. But she, Quinn and Rashel were not there.
The pattern repeated itself quite a few times: idea, travel, disappointment. He did ask the people he met if they'd been seen, but only Quinn had been spotted, and that was not with the girls, so they must've separated.
Galen had run out of ideas, and as he slouched against the wall of a corridor to think of where to try next, the sleek form of Lupe arrived. She did not walk casually past as he had expected, instead came straight to him.
"Prince Galen," she murmured, bowing her head briefly in acknowledgement "I bring news from Lord Thierry."
What? Had he maybe changed his mind and decided to let Keller go after all?
"If you remember, whilst you were talking with Lord Thierry, I requested his attendence."
"Yes…"
"Well, that was because we had just received an alert that one of the perimeter walls has been breached—"
Galen pushed away from the wall "What? How?"
"My Prince, please let me finish. It was decimated from the inside, by blue fire."
Galen's eyes widened, why were the Wild Powers breaking the wall that kept them safe from the Night World?
"And a trio of Daybreakers are missing."
Galen had a bad feeling he knew two of the names he was about to hear.
"Jezebel Redfern-Goddard, Rashel Jordan, and Raksha Keller."
Galen knew that it wasn't the done thing for a Prince, but he couldn't help his whispered frustration "Damnit Keller."
"My Prince?" Lupe blinked in surprise, "If, if I might take my leave, I have others to alert of the news."
"Yes, but first one question."
"Yes sir?"
"Have you seen Morgead Blackthorn or John Quinn?"
"Not recently sir, but I could make it known for them to meet with you at a location you specify."
"I would be grateful Lupe, have them meet me at the breach in the wall, I am sure we can hold it long enough for it to be repaired."
"Yes, at once my Prince." Lupe bowed and began to depart, only to turn back "It may not be my place to say it sir, but it is a little strange that all three have soulmates, but none of you were aware of their plans."
Galen frowned "That, is most likely because if we had, we would have stopped them." and with that, he walked away, to find the proof of Keller's claustrophobia.
…
"I can't believe that worked!" Jez laughed as she walked beside Keller. "I'm so glad you thought of it Keller!"
Rashel grinned too "So am I, I'd almost forgotten what real sunlight feels like, it's so lovely and warm."
"It kinda makes me want my Harley though, that thing's a beauty to ride, and you could've come too Ras."
"What about Keller?"
Keller smirked "I could keep up with you till you got to about forty mph, but even then, panther's aren't long-distance runners, no matter how much you train them."
Rashel sputtered "You've, you've tried to adapt your panther to be an endurance runner?"
"Yes, if I can defy human science with my existence, then surely going a mile nonstop isn't that much of a step up?"
Jez lifted a fist "Respect girl," and Keller obligingly bumped it with her own, and they all began to laugh at the stupid joy of having escaped.
"This must be what Jews felt when they got out of Nazi concentration camps." Rashel commented.
Keller glanced at her, "I was just going to say the same about when they got out of Egypt."
"So which of us is Moses?"
"Jez of course, she parted the wall for us."
Jez herself cracked up at that "Parted the wall!" and had to lean on Keller to not fall over "By the power of the Apocalypse, I am the Wild Power!"
"That's He-Man, blue fire for brains." Rashel remarked, pushing the chortling Jez off of Keller. "So, now that we're out, what do we do?"
Keller rolled her shoulders as she answered simply "Enjoy it."
"Well, since the Apocalypse is late, let's go watch a zombie movie!" Jez suggested, still giggling a little.
"Jez, are you drunk?" Rashel asked, braver than Keller.
"Yes, drunk on freedom!"
Keller had to agree with her.
…
"So, guess you heard the news then?" Galen enquired upon noticing Morgead and Quinn's murderous faces. The two nodded, probably not trusting themselves to speak. "Well, I had it arranged with Lord Thierry that we are to guard this gigantic gaping hole to the outside world."
Quinn frowned "Why? Why are we watching the hole instead of getting them back?"
Morgead caught on quicker "Duh! We are getting them back! But this way Thierry won't know to stop us!"
Galen nodded "Shall we go?"
Quinn continued to frown "Y'know, this is a major security disaster."
"I know, but what would you rather, a small risk for Circle Daybreak, or a big risk for Rashel?"
"That's low Galen."
"Besides, I have it on good authority they're going to start patching the wall in under half an hour. Nothing that bad could happen in twenty minutes."
Quinn and Morgead rolled their eyes in perfect unison, but said nothing, and Galen was the first to crawl through the flawlessly cylindrical tunnel in the wall.
…
"I think…" Keller said slowly as Jez ate ice cream and Rashel devoured a hot dog, whilst Keller herself had nothing, she was too worried about being caught to enjoy herself. "I think that we should prepare a plan for if we're found."
Rashel rolled her eyes "It's not like they're gonna find us any time soon sis, stop thinking and just enjoy being out in the sun!"
Keller sighed "Even with us blocking the soulmate bonds, there are many ways for them to find us, and we have no means of transport, where Thierry could send helicopters after us at any moment."
Jez thought for a moment "Well, I could hotwire a car, it's not hard."
Keller shook her head "Too obvious, the Circle could trace the theft report."
"Oh, lighten up Keller, it was your idea that got us out and now you're just moaning about how soon you're gonna be forced back in again."
"Freedom isn't freedom if it has a time limit."
Rashel stared at her, "Jeez, Keller, life has a time limit, but you don't hear anyone else complaining, you just get on with it or you've wasted what time you have."
Jez nodded "I never took you as a whiner."
"I'm not whining, I'm very reasonably suggesting we do something to make it harder to be found, or at least, harder to be forced to go back."
"We have to go back sometime sis, they'll be worried about us, or hadn't you thought of that?" Rashel frowned as she spoke.
"Of course I thought of that!" she snarled "But I thought you two would want to come. I guess I was mistaken. Go on back now if you want." she turned her back to them and started to walk away, planning furiously for if, no, when she was pursued by the Daybreakers, who would put her back in her cage.
"Keller! Kel, come back!" Rashel sprinted after her, followed by Jez, they overtook Keller and spoke again to her face "We didn't mean it like that, I'm glad you thought of it, today has been fun."
Jez nodded "Yeah, but these things are only fun if it's once in a while, it'd be way too dangerous for us to stay out here, the Apocalypse is due any moment, and the Night World are probably after any and all Daybreakers."
"Especially you Jez," Rashel pointed out.
Keller faked a smile "Go on back then, but I've fought dragons, I'm sure I'll be fine."
"You had help Keller! Don't you dare take all the credit!"
"I'm not, I said 'fought', not 'defeated'. And I would've got Azhdeha the first time around, if he hadn't stopped me."
Keller refused to even think the word, or all her walls would fall away again, revealing the tiny, terrified creature that she was. I hate how scared I am, so frightened of everything, I hate that I was forced into the life of a soldier, fighting and doing my duty when inside I was screaming, always, endlessly. So I built my walls, cut away my soul with the sword of duty, the blade of honour, the knife of obedience – until he had crumbled them, and brought me back to life, into terrible, tearful, fearful life. His beauty had captured me, the soul of a poet had soothed my constant terror, made the world feel absolutely safe, because he would protect me from everything…
But no, none of that made sense, nothing in my head ever makes sense. I am the fighter, the soldier, the 'grunt', he is the Prince, he gives the orders and I obey… So how did we switch places, how did he become the hero, and I the damsel? I have always been the damsel, except I used anger and hatred and a hard-learned lesson to force my bravery by putting my fear in a box, along with my soul. I had been soulless for so long, I had not cared if I died, but he saved me, he's saved me over and over again.
What am I doing? Why am I running away? I'm always running away. So often when I'm with him, he'll do or say something, and I'll get scared again and leave. I am sick of being scared, being the chicken – time to be a cat. And this cat isn't being caged, not ever again.
"So girls, the question still remains, what're we gonna do when they find us, cos I think we could have a lot of fun with them before we go back."
And she told them a fraction her plan – all that they needed to know – they all laughed together, and set to work.
…
"This is kinda nice actually, I can see why they wanted to leave. I'd forgotten so much of the stuff they can't simulate." Morgead commented as Quinn searched for the girls' mental signatures.
"Quiet." the aforementioned Quinn scolded, closing his eyes again.
"Like what?" Galen whispered.
"The smell of cars? I've always loved the smell of petrol, for whatever reason, but Jez hates it."
Galen wrinkled his nose, he could not even imagine liking the smell of car exhaust, what was there to like? It was filthy, polluting and just overall bad. Hmm, what rhymed with petrol?
"So, Quinny, any luck, or…"
"I'm not gonna find anything if you don't shut it Morgead." Quinn grumbled, glaring at the younger vampire, but they all knew that translated as 'not a bloody thing'.
"Okay, plan D." Galen murmured, "We look the old-fashioned, human way, since bond, scent and mental signature are a no-no."
But even as he was saying the words, snippets of Keller's thoughts came to him: "I hate how scared I am, so frightened of everything … inside I was screaming, always, endlessly …brought me back to life, into terrible, tearful, fearful life … force my bravery by putting my fear in a box, along with my soul … I'm always running away … I'll get scared again and leave … this cat isn't being caged, not ever again."
Oh dear, that was not good. His poor Keller… Her thoughts were a whirlwind of confusion and pain and fear, he'd never realised before how much of her soul was shadowed by fear. He could not even get a sense of what scared her so much, it seemed to be very general, but surely his courageous Keller was not afraid of anything, let alone everything.
"Guys, I just got a tiny little sense of Keller, they're in the highstreet of the town the other side of this wood."
"Let's go!" Morgead and Quinn rushed into the wood, in eerie unison, but Galen assumed it must've been a vampire thing, and followed after, only a little more slowly.
…
Keller had selected the perfect place, and the other two girls were ready. She knew full well that Galen would have sensed her by now, she was not gifted with the ability to block her thoughts – that would require some organisation and order in her mind, and there was none.
But still she felt content as she crouched on the rooftop, half shifted already, able to pounce at a moment's notice. She was pleased with herself at the location, it was mostly deserted, and full of places to hide, and a high perch for the ambush predator to enjoy. All that was left, was to wait.
She did not have to wait long.
…
"I don't like this, it screams trap to me." Morgead frowned as the three of them observed the area Galen had last felt Keller to be in.
"Yes, it does, but would you rather leave Jez and the fate of the world here, or go after her?" Quinn smiled as he said the words.
"But what are they doing here? It's getting dark, and they're not stupid enough to stay outside after nightfall."
Quinn shrugged "Galen? Did you get any feel for why they're here."
"They're playing with us," Galen answered, scanning the buildings for any sign of his soulmate, then, guiltily, for Rashel or Jez also. "Keller knows we're here, and they split up a while ago. Guess they're hiding. Keller knows where they are, but she's veiling everything except that she's here. Somewhere."
Quinn rolled his eyes "Useful little brother, very useful."
"It's more than you got, and you're meant to be the mind ninja."
"Only cos Rashel can shield her mind better."
Galen's jaw clenched, but he refused to bite back at the insult to Keller, it was nothing but the truth.
Morgead clapped, breaking the tension a little "Well, trap as it may be, let's get the girls back before they spring it." and led the way towards the abandoned buildings.
…
Closer. Closer. Closer. Patience, girl, Keller told herself, wait till they're in the spot you marked… All right, wait for it. Three, two, one… pounce!
She did, shifting effortlessly as she fell, pushing her would-be captives to the ground and holding them there with her body – not that she was heavy enough to be much trouble for two vampires, but she was certainly an inconvenience. An inconvenience for long enough that the girls heard her yowl and rushed forward, Rashel with bast fibres at the ready, binding them to a nearby lamppost.
Keller retreated with pride filling her simple panther mind, pride that her sister was such a brilliant hunter as to have the sufficient knots completed in a matter of moments, though even her cat mind had to take Jez's aid into account. Keller paced her captives, ensuring that if by some miracle they escaped, that she could hunt them down and return them in a matter of moments.
"Hi girls!" the unfamiliar vampire chirped, grinning at Jez in particular as Keller struggled to think why that was – panthers did not have minds for such frivolous things as relationships. "Never took bondage as your thing Jezebel," those glacier eyes lit up cheekily as he spoke, straining against the ropes.
"Oh shut up Morgead." Jez answered, pulling his ties tighter, preventing any movement of his limbs.
"No, not shutting up."
"Yes, you are." Quinn scowled before addressing Rashel "Why'd you have Jez break the wall? You know how much risk it puts the world in if anything happens to her!"
Jez scoffed "Hello? I'm right here! Maybe I wanted to blast the wall? And I'm not a child, I can look after myself!"
"And we would've backed you up," Rashel stood at Jez's side.
"Still," Galen murmured, eyes on Keller's predatory stance "Why?"
"Why'd you think? I'm sick of being coddled!" Jez narrowed her eyes "Just cos I'm a Wild Power doesn't mean I need to be put in a padded room!"
"They never put you in anything," Morgead pointed out.
"Shut up." Jez answered him.
"Okay, so that's Jez's reason." Quinn cocked his head a little as he observed Keller pacing "What's yours Rashel?"
Rashel's face was incredulous "Are you kidding me Quinn? It's so boring in there! There's nothing to do but mill about or train for an Apocalypse that some think isn't even going to come in our lifetime!"
"Keller?" Galen murmured, staring sadly at her fierce yellow eyes. Keller shook her panther's head and blocked her mind, refusing to answer.
But Rashel did it for her "It was Keller's idea, she planned it all."
"If Keller decided to jump off the Golden Gate bridge, would you follow along then?" Quinn asked.
Rashel rolled her eyes, "Of course not! It was just a bit of fun Quinn, lighten up."
All three guys blinked at that, surprised, then all yelled, fighting their bonds "A bit of fun?!"
Jez smiled "Yep, it's been a great day, and this had been an epic climax." she started to laugh "Tying you all up, classic, thanks for bringing me along for the ride Keller."
…
Galen watched Keller slowly shift back, a mournful expression on her face as she answered "No problem, glad you enjoyed it."
"Yeah. Hey! What did Thierry say when he heard we broke out?" Jez sniggered at the idea.
Morgead shrugged "Dunno, he doesn't know we came after you."
"He's probably guessed it by now." Quinn frowned "How're we gonna get back in anyway if they're fixing the wall?"
"Jeez, I dunno, how about that great big gate we didn't leave by?" Rashel answered jovially.
"Wait, did you just say you're gonna come back with us?" Morgead's eyes widened.
"Yesss. It was only a day out, you didn't exactly need to come after us with torches and pitchforks." Jez stuck her tongue out at her soulmate as she began to untie him.
…
Keller was outraged. How dare they just decide to go back?! She had selected them for being some of the most unhappy to remain, and they had betrayed her, willing lambs to the slaughterhouse. Well she wasn't going to play ball. She was not going back.
"You guys can go, but I'm not."
"You have to come back eventually Kel," Rashel remarked whilst freeing Quinn and Galen simultaneously.
"No." was all Keller could say as Galen gazed at her with those green pools of light that served him for eyes, she raised her walls and continued "I don't. I'm not ever going back into that prison."
"You don't have a choice little sister." Quinn frowned at her, they all were. Keller's heart began to race, she couldn't bear them all staring at her, each pair of eyes was a bar to her cage, trapping her in and smothering her.
"I make my own choices." she snarled, skin rippling into her half-and-half form, making Jez and Morgead's eyes bug out, but she did not care, she had to escape. They were going to put her back behind bars, and she had to stop them.
"Keller, we're not going to hurt you…" Galen approached her, speaking softly, everything about him begging her to relax and submit— No! I will not be taken! I will not be forced, not trapped, not caged, not ever again!
"I'd rather die than go back there!" her hissed words broke off when Quinn leapt at her, trying to pin her writhing body to the wall, soon aided by Rashel. Keller's body twitched with fury, tail thrashing a warning that no-one heeded.
But Keller had an advantage over her sister and Quinn, they did not know of her concealed weapon in this form. And she unleashed her desperate rage across Rashel's stomach and Quinn's face, claws diving deliberately deeper into the vampire to stall him longer.
No-one could suspect her plan, as she did not know it herself until she found Jez's throat in her hands, claws only temporarily sheathed.
"I heard you were staked once." Keller spoke low, into Jez's ear, letting only her hear.
Jez nodded jerkily, the only movement in her frozen body as she saw the wound in Rashel's abdomen and realised the lethality of the panther-human hybrid.
"And the blue fire saved you…" Keller purred, knowing that she technically wasn't – panthers cannot purr.
Again, Jez nodded, gulping as she stared wide-eyed at the equally frozen Morgead, Rashel, Quinn and Galen.
"But, what about decapitation? Hmm?" Keller stroked her nails across Jez's throat "I don't think blue fire would save you then." and Keller laughed, a throaty, completely insane-sounding cackle – and she knew it.
"Keller…" Jez murmured, licking her lips nervously "Why are you doing this? You're a good person."
"Perhaps I was once, but at the moment I am more importantly a desperate person. And desperation causes desperate actions." Keller smiled at her captive, knowing Jez could not see the iciness of the grin. "Oh, I may have been good, but just now, I would far rather kill you and bring about the end of the world than be locked up by the Daybreakers again."
"Kel, let Jez go. Let's talk about this like reasonable adults." Rashel murmured painfully, clutching her bloody stomach.
"There's nothing to talk about! I am not going back there!" Keller screamed. "Daybreak has been ordering me around my whole life and it stops here!"
"But, you worked for them all that time…" Rashel gasped as Quinn ripped her shirt to staunch the bleeding, his own wound nearly healed.
"NOBODY ASKED ME! I wouldn't have been with them if I'd had the choice." she put on her cruellest, most chilling, predatory smile. "I wouldn't have been on either side, I wouldn't belong to anyone! I AM NOT GOING BACK!"
…
Galen severely hated to have to do it, especially with the fearful light in Keller's eyes, but Quinn had asked it of him, not just for hurting Rashel, but for Keller's own safety. It needed to be done, so as Prince, Galen put duty before his personal feelings.
"Raksha Keller, I order you to return with us." he commanded, using the voice his father had taught him, the one that screamed authority and demanded obedience.
Keller cocked her head a little, tail twisting around her right leg as she smiled, a little more genuinely this time "I don't belong to you, you have no power over me."
…
It was breaking her heart, but she could not do it anymore, it needed to be finished, so she would finish it. Looking for one last time at her sister, she said "You're going to need a new teacher, because I'm never shapeshifitng again."
And before Rashel or any of the others could speak, Keller threw Jez towards them, turned tail, and walked away, fully shifting as she went.
At least now it will all stop hurting, she thought, fighting to think her last human thoughts, I will not be afraid anymore. Nothing will touch me ever again. Not fear. Not weakness. Not my own uselessness. Not me. I am giving up my humanity to keep my freedom, and my sanity. Goodbye Raksha Keller, it was nice being you.
…
No. Galen could not believe it. He refused to believe it. Keller was gone, she had shifted and her thoughts had been open to him. She was never going to change back, she didn't want to. She had removed her humanity to end all of the feelings inside of her, the pain, the anger, the fear. She had decided that having only animalistic thoughts was better than being caged by Circle Daybreak.
Oh my Keller, what have I done…?
Because it was all his fault, this had all started with his proposal, it had caused something in his soulmate to snap, and possibly be broken beyond repair. He couldn't let her face this alone, even if it meant never being human again himself.
He had decided.
"Galen?" Rashel whispered, her voice so similar to Keller's that Galen flinched. "Should we go after her, or um, leave you to…?"
Galen shook his head, staring at his hands, thinking that it was probably the last time he would ever see them. "No, you all go back without us, and… tell my parents I'm sorry." with that he started to follow in the direction Keller had gone, shifting as soon as he was out of sight.
I can't return if she does not. I can never be human again if she isn't. I cannot live without her. I cannot let her be alone, not ever again.
…
I am a panther. I am one of the top predators. I am a hunter. I have no owner. Nothing can possess me. I am no-one's but my own. I will always be free.
The panther's ears twitched, she heard something, the soft rustle of concealment, the faint wheeze of a stealthy approach. She surged to her feet, ready to attack and defend herself, powerful muscles tensed, lethal claws flexing in preparation. A warning growl emanated from her throat, a signal to any that she would fight to the death if necessary.
Her rumbling threat was answered by a a chuffing sound which any cat knew was distinctly not dangerous, but a sound of pleasure, companionship. But why? Why did this golden creature reply in such a way? It was indeed familiar, of course it was, they were the same species, only she was black and the male was yellow.
The male sauntered cautiously towards her, making small movements so as to make her believe him safe. When he reached her side, he lowered himself to the ground and rested his head on his paws to repeat his message of safety.
The black panther still watched him warily, unsure of why this male was acting so strangely, but returned to her relaxed position on the grassy ground.
I won't force you to come back.
The voice in her head startled her, it was no normal sound, and nothing that should've been happening, but still it somehow seemed right – but why? Still, regardless of the weirdness of the direct communication, she felt the need to answer.
Nothing can force me. I belong to no-one but myself. Then, suddenly inspired by a bizarre thought, a memory that didn't fit with her animal logic, she added. I had forgotten, a part of me is you.
She rubbed her head against the male's side as he answered her, intense eyes gentle as he looked at her. I want to be with you always.
I belong to no-one, not even you.
I will not own you.
Then you can stay with me, for I must always be free.
There could possibly be a sequel to this if anyone wants one, I've had an unformed idea for it ever since finishing the plot. (It would follow what happened when Rashel tells everyone why Keller and Galen aren't coming back, and Thierry's demand that they are retrieved.)