A/N: One shot! Enjoy!
July 29, 2009
Dear Diary…
I loved him so much and he told me loved me, but he didn't. He told me he would always be there, but he wasn't. I knew that my crush would go away, I was so sure it would. He was just my best friend; there was nothing more or less.
I never wanted it to go this way, but it had too. I couldn't let me marry her, she wasn't right for him. I loved him, she didn't. I wanted him for him, she wants his money. I could tell you everything about him; she could tell you what titles held and the obvious, she didn't know him.
I thought I was a good enough friend or actress to get through this, but I couldn't. I was a good friend, but I couldn't stand by, silently, while he ruined his life. I didn't want to stand by him when he went through divorce, when she ruined him, or when she used him and kicked him to the curb. Marriage isn't supposed to be like that; he didn't need that.
He needed me. He needed everything that I could give him and everything that I had to offer. I wanted to be the one to nurse his wounds, to make him breakfast, to grow old and sit in rocking chairs on the porch, to be the one who he loves at the end of the day, and to be the one who meets him at the end of the aisle. He promised me that she wouldn't change anything between us, but she did. I couldn't take it anymore. I didn't want to… I wouldn't let him.
I had always loved him and I knew that somewhere he felt something more for me, I hoped. I just never told him because I didn't want to be the nagging friend or the idiot who ruined everything. I also couldn't face the rejection that would come when he told me that he loved me, but only as a friend. I knew that I would be talked about for being the crazy girl who tried to ruin everything.
I was sure that at least this way the haters couldn't get to me. I was sure that whatever was said would soon be nothing more than whispers in rumors in a few weeks. He would be remembered as a great wrestler; I would be remembered as the psycho friend. I didn't care; I was the black sheep in my family, so I just gave them what they wanted.
I just hope that when he is in heaven and I am in the deepest darkest pits of hell he can find forgiveness somewhere in his beautiful. He is beautiful even when he was mad at me he was perfect. I loved him
XOXO- Jane
Randy POV
I just stood there as the police told me what had happen. I was at the church and I got called to go to John's home. I didn't know what was going on. I arrived with a few other wrestlers to see police and a corner's van there. I knew that Jane was supposed to bring John to the church where he was marrying Liz. I didn't know what to think when I saw two bodies, covered in sheets, being taken out of the house.
I didn't know what happened and I wouldn't find out for two weeks. I found out what the police through happened in the last few minutes of their life. I found out that Jane had shot John and shot herself. I should have been angry at her, but once I read her diary I didn't know who to feel worse for: Jane for being tormented or John for not knowing.