I guarded my heart from all who tried to steal it, everyone who tried failed
'I guarded my heart from all who tried to steal it, everyone who tried failed. I swore I never would let anyone steal my heart or hurt it like it has been in the past, yet you slipped past my wall, over the barbed wire and past the lock to the chest that held my heart, now you wear it around your neck as a prize, a token of a won battle. You are the only one to get past my walls and live to tell the tale. And now you are the keeper of my heart now. It never was supposed to happen, I never believed in it, but I fell in love. But I beg of you please do not break my heart like it has been in the past I don't think I could live if it was broken again.'
I looked up from my writing and whispered his name. My father told me 'Kagome, guard your heart with you life because in the end a broken heart is the worst death. Guard your heart with all you might. Never lose it. Never give it away. Never…' That was the last thing he ever told me, right after he finished telling me that he passed away. It had scared me so much because my mom had left us and after he died my mom came back with her father and he told me 'he died from a broken heart… he could not take it in longer… he had to ease the pain…. Always know that we all loved you.' Grandpa was never happy that Mother and Father split up he was devastated about it but did not speak about it because Mother was his baby girl and wanted the best for her and he knew that she would have been upset if he ever spoke a word about his opinion on the matter. Ever since that day I guarded my heart with everything… many tried to steal my heart… many have died trying… not form blood spelt but from the disappointment and the heartache of their love not being returned. Yet now it is me who is not having any love returned.
I looked around me as I locked up my little journal of my private thoughts and of my venting and saw the beautiful forest that had become my second and favorite home. Just then I noticed that I had been crying while I was writing. 'Why her? Why can't he love me? Why can't he forget her and move on?' The thoughts have been running through my mind all day never stopping and never finding any answers always just going around and around in a circle in my mind.
"Thought I would find you here, wrench." He said. He must have not noticed that I had been crying, either that or he finally had had enough of my tears and would not let them bother him. Apparently the first one was right. "Why were you crying?" He asked in a softer tone. I smiled to my self, he was always kinder once he realized that I had been crying for some reason or another although I love him I always liked him better when he was kind.
"… It… it is nothing Yasha." I said simply. He didn't need to know that I had been crying over him again. He just looked at me, confusion in his eyes.
"…Alright…" He seemed to be waiting for something, like somehow in the short amount of time I would start to cry again.
I smiled sadly and just stared back to our camp site. He followed my eyes, and offered me his hand. I knew he thought I wanted to go back there. I just grabbed his hand and pulled him down to sit next to me on the cool, soft green grass.
"Kagome…" he said questioning why I pulled him down.
"Yasha I have to know…" He looked at me patiently, waiting quietly for me to explain, I also knew that look in his eyes, it meant he wanted an explanation now and there will be no trying to bead around the bush. "Why her Yasha, why her?" I asked whispering the last part.
He looked at me completely confused. "Who, Kikyo?" I just nodded my head because I knew if I said anything the tears would come. "What do you mean?" He asked me completely confused.
"I mean why do you love her? She is dead! She is just a walking piece of clay! Why, Yasha why?" I practically yelled then let the tears fall as I put my head in my hands felling sad but at the same time a little bit of relief, for finally letting what had been weighing me down for quite a time out. "Why? Just please tell me why her." I whispered hopping he would hear me, but unable to bring my head up from my hands, there I was safe, he couldn't see how much that little question hurt me to ask.
He stared at me for a second then whispered barely loud enough for me to hear, "Kagome… I don't love her… never will… I feel bad for her… because of me she died… I owe her, nothing more… plus I have to settle for her… although I want you…" he whispered the last part so quietly that I almost didn't catch it.
I smiled to myself slightly, 'he wants me… not her!' my mind whispered to itself not sure if it was true or not or if that was good or bad. Then it clicked he wanted me!
I looked up at him to see his hair was hiding his eyes. I slowly reached my hand up to his hair and moved it out of his eyes, and softly grazed my hands past his soft, white, dog ears and whispered looking into his eyes, "Why do you have to settle?"
He looked up, he had been trying to avoid my eyes, but now he stared into them and whispered, "you deserve someone better than me… you deserve someone better than a half-breed, you deserve the best… and with me you can never get it… you deserve everything… but I can offer you nothing." He was looking down by the time he whispered the last part, seeming to be ashamed of what he was.
"Yasha," I whispered, and he looked up into my eyes again, "I fell in love with you… you are perfect. You can show emotions and understand me better than any human, and you can protect me better than any demon could ever try to. You are not a half-breed, and I never want to hear that word again. You are wonderful and with you… I would have everything and more."
He smiled as she said this but saw that she was opening her mouth to say another thing but quickly cut her off by giving her a quick kiss on the lips and whispered into her ear, "you talk too much."
I smiled when he said that, "Then shut me up." I challenged.
He just smiled and leaned in closer, "my pleasure." With that said he leaned in closing all the space between and kissed her softly and passionately.
Well that is it what did you guys think? Review 3 Oh and the little poem like thing at the top is an original I did it myself if you want to use it give me credit! Arigato (for you non-Japanese speaking people that means 'thank you') Might be a squeal where he finds her journal and reads it… if you like the idea let me know!