"Harry Styles, of the internationally renowned boy band, One Direction, has passed away."
Leaning back against the counter, I paused what I was doing, and turned down the television. Harry Styles. Even after all these years, the name still brought me back to a time when I was eighteen, and in love with just a boy in a bad, who didn't even know I existed, much less cared. It's crazy how just a name can bring back feelings that you forgot even existed. A few tears leaked out of my eyes, and my hand trembled a little as I went back to peeling carrots for dinner.
Carrots. I smiled as a memory of Louis Tomlinson flashed across my mind. "I like girls who eat carrots." Funny how that pops up now, after all these years. I hadn't thought of the boys in years. Sure I heard their songs occasionally, like when the radio spewed out some oldies. I could still sing along to every song, and my kids would laugh at me every single time. It wasn't the same though, like when I first fell in love with them, I didn't actively seek out information on them, and I didn't pick up a magazine, just because I saw their name. A few more tears leaked out, until a steady stream fell down my cheeks. I put down the carrot peeler, and sunk down to the floor.Harry Styles. I guess old crushes die hard. I thought about that as I sat on the kitchen floor, and let memories of my late teen years flash over me.
I had just been a girl from a small town when One Direction blazed on the scene, and captured the hearts of millions. Immediately I had fallen in love with the cheeky Harry Styles. When I went to my first concert, I spent most of my time watching Harry. The way he moved across the stage, his confidence, and the way he took my breath away, every time he opened his mouth. I watched every single video diary, and laughed along with the boys at all the stunts that Louis pulled. I watched all the interviews, the infamous Alan Carr ones being my favorites. I joked around that Harry and Louis would get together, and cheered when Liam and Danielle announced their engagement. I smiled and kept taking a stroll down memory lane. Sixty years later, and I could still remember exactly when I fell in love with the band. It was while they were on the X-Facter. It was week nine. The boys had sang the song "Chasing Cars", and hearing Harry sing, I just fell in love. Then came their video diaries. Every hilarious moment, every heartbreak, every moment of my love for them flooded over me as I sat on that kitchen floor.
Eventually my love for them waned, and I no longer felt that little rush of joy everytime their name was mentioned, I stopped blogging about them, I didn't look up old videos, and I stopped reading fanfictions on them. I didn't forget, I just moved on. I eventually got married, and had kids. The band got bigger and gathered even more followers. They had conquered the world. Then, they all got married, had kids, and fell to the background. About forty years ago, they threw a reunion tour, and I went, with my kids, for old times sake. Once again, my love for the band washed over me, and I found myself singing along, to songs I thought I had forgotten. My kids laughed at me about it later, but that didn't matter, because in that instant, I was eighteen again, and my love for the five men in front of me, was suddenly fresh again, and it was like nothing had changed.
I got up and strolled over to my computer, and logged onto the internet. I logged onto my Facebook account, and checked the old One Direction fan page. A wall of posts dedicated to Harry was the first thing I noticed. Then, as time went on, people started posting about their favorite memories of the boys. It's true, what they say. You never forget someone who changed your life. It didn't matter that the boys hadn't sang in almost forty years, or that they were no longer the five boys who walked across that X-Factor stage over sixty years ago. In that moment in time, all of us who were there at the beginning, seemed to be propelled back to a time when it seemed like the boys could sing forever, and that our love for them would never fade. We were all teens again, and in that instant, I realized something.
We may grow out of our love for something, but you never forget it. Those five boys changed our lives. They weren't just some boy band like N'Sync, or the Backstreet Boys. They were five boys who had the chance of a life time, and they conquered the world. The boys had wormed their way into our hearts, and they never really let them go. Now they were just a fond memory, as was my love for them. I refreshed my internet browser, and saw the post from headquarters at the top of the page.
"Thank you all for your posts. We know Harry would have appreciated them. 1DHQ". I smiled and logged off the internet. I walked back into the kitchen, and continued preparing dinner. I turned the television back up, and listened as they talked about the next big headline in the news.
A couple of nights later, when I was in my bedroom watching the news, they showed pictures of Harry's funeral, and I smiled as "What Makes You Beautiful" played in the background. It seemed like forever ago, since their first single came out, and their fandom exploded. I laid down on my bed and closed my eyes, falling asleep to the song playing in the background.
As I slept, I was no longer seventy-eight years old. I was eighteen, and in a crowded arena. Five single spotlights hit the stage, and suddenly, five boys that the world hadn't seen in a long time hit the stage. The beginning notes of "Torn" started. When the boys started to sing, the audience cheered, and you could plainly see the smiles on the boy's faces. Once again, the boy's were together, and you could tell they were ecstatic. They ran through each X-Factor performance, and then all their albums, followed by all their covers. It seemed like my dream would never end, not that I wanted it to. I was transported to another world that night, a world I had almost forgotten existed. When they had sang their last song, they all embraced each other, and then my alarm clock was buzzing, and I opened my eyes to see the bedroom that I had been in for almost fifty years.
It's true what they say, about fandoms, no matter how old you get, you never forget, and as long as we remember, that fandom still exists, and it's something that your love for it never really fades. It's still there, and it will always be there. It's a part of who you are, and it's a part of the world you live in. You may grow up, and you may forget about them, but it's always there waiting for that one moment in time for something to reawaken it, and burst forth, so that you can once again relish it, and enjoy it. You won't know when, where, or even why it happens. You can only wait for those moments in time, and enjoy the time when you're brought back to your youth, if even for a brief second.