COLD
by AerynQ and Erin Cale
(Finally, our first completed collaboration that we didn't feel like trashing)
Disclaimer: Not mine. Rockne O'Bannon's/Sci-fi's (can y'all tell I'm getting I bit tired of writing disclaimers… they just keep getting shorter, and shorter, and shorter…).
Notes: Post ep for DMD… Just HAD to resurrect Aeryn. If the creators keep her dead, I'm gonna be so frelling angry… (My co-author says that the ending sucks only because she wrote only the last paragraph. You should've read it before.)
Spoilers: DMD, TWWW
Feedback: PLEASE!!!! Send it to carlottaq@hotmail.com Thanks y'all (about the excessive use of the word y'all, I just finished doing a skit for my Drama class in which I played a young southern girl and it just kinda stuck).
Thanks: Thank you to my BETA readers, Rebecca and Megan for their constant support.
Rating: PG, just because I don't trust myself to write a "G" story.
"Go away Aeryn we don't need you yet…" The words echoed in Aeryn's mind for several before she looked up at the speaker. It was… Velorek! But that couldn't be Velorek was dead. "Are you listening… you have to leave. If you don't you won't be able to…" Velorek gestured to a tunnel that she dimly remembered having traveled before. Just after… oh god. Suddenly memories that felt a million cycles old came rushing back to her. She remembered falling through the air and crashing through something hard and cold. She remembered taking in a deep breath, not of air but of thick, icy water. Then she had sunk for the longest time… deeper and deeper, until suddenly she wasn't sinking any more. She was floating; floating all the way to… wherever she was now. She remembered John once telling her that after you died you would meet with loved ones who had also passed away. Velorek was certainly dead. Could that mean she was… "Aeryn!" Velorek's ever persistent voice broke her from her reverie. When she turned to face Velorek he seemed relieved that he was finally getting through to her. "Do you want to get out of here or not?" Aeryn nodded numbly still somewhat in a daze because of recent events. Velorek took her arm and began to lead her swiftly down the tunnel. He seemed remarkably fit for a dead man…
As she ran next to Velorek she could not help but notice that the walls of the tunnel were changing. They had been white and vaguely luminescent //John's 'white light'// but now they were beginning to form pictures… no not like pictures, they were moving, more like the images on the clamshell. Fascinated she observed the pictures, without stopping her run. It showed a young Sebacean with raven black hair that matched her own holding a squealing baby. With a shock Aeryn realized that the baby was her and that the woman was her mother. Velorek must have noticed her surprise.
"You were a cute kid… you can ignore that though, it's mostly for effect." He explained with a trace of humor.
"Effect?" Aeryn echoed.
"Oh so you haven't lost your speech!" Velorek exclaimed with mock surprise. "People tend to enter the afterlife with certain… expectations. It seems that having ones life flash before their eyes is a popular one."
"The afterlife?" Aeryn asked apprehensively. Velorek stopped running and turned to face her very seriously. Dimly she noticed that she was experiencing none of the normal effects of physical exertion. Her heart rate hadn't even risen. It was as if she hadn't been running at all.
"Aeryn, you just died, don't you remember?" Aeryn nodded.
"I drowned…" She was silent for a moment searching her memory for the things John told her about the afterlife. So far everything he had said had been correct; the white light, loved ones, life passing before her eyes. "Is this heaven?" John's word for the utopia people entered after death seemed foreign on her tough. Velorek shook his head.
"They don't make heaven for people like us."
"Hell then?"
"No… though that is were most peacekeepers tend to go. You and I landed somewhere in between. Still peacekeepers but…" he smiled suddenly, "I told you you were more." Velorek faltered looking at the wall them. "But you can't stay here now… I'm supposed to be guiding you back to your body… there are still many things you must do in your mortal life."
"What?" Aeryn asked stubbornly. She found this whole scenario unsettling, and wanted desperately to return to her mortal life, but she also wanted to know what was so important about her that she deserved divine intervention. Velorek merely grabbed onto her arm again and resumed their run.
"We have to get out of here quickly, before our window closes and you get stuck." He explained haltingly. It was a while before she looked back up at the walls of the tunnel. She was dismayed to see that it had already reached the part of her life involving Velorek… as luck would have it very close to his death, the point when she would betray him. When she glanced over at her companion she realized he to was watching the tunnel walls. He gave her hand a quick squeeze, apparently he understood.
*******
Suddenly the tunnel closed behind them and Aeryn found herself standing face to face with herself. Only she is in one was of the freezer chambers in "the doc's" lab. As she moved closer to the tinted glass she noticed that Rygel's belt and D'Argo's qualta blade were in the freezer unit with her. Her face seemed so old and pale, not like hers at all, and a lock of her hair was missing.
"You can go back into your body whenever you're ready. It won't offer you any resistance." Aeryn was surprised to see Velorek still behind her. "If our timing is correct, one of your friends… a Luxan should be coming this way pretty soon. I'm sure he'll let you out if you bang on the glass hard enough. Of course if you wish to wait until he gets here…" Aeryn nodded.
"You said you'd tell me why I'm being resurrected," she said pointedly.
"Of course, though I don't know much about it myself. There is a man who loves you. This man holds the fate of almost half the universe in his hands. But he doesn't know this yet, and without you he's worthless." The door creaked open and D'Argo began to walk in, "Go, return to your body now or all is lost!"
"Velorek… I…."
"I know, just go!" Aeryn stepped somewhat regretfully back into her body, and abruptly her awareness changed. Suddenly she found herself in a pool of thick slush, almost ice. Her lungs were burning for air and it was so incredibly cold. For a moment she was certain she was going to drown again, but then she remembered her task. Every muscle in her body screamed with pain as she rammed her arm up against the glass with all the strength that she could muster.
"D'Ar-" her voice gave out as her body tried to expel the water in her lungs. She saw his face as he turned to her. The surprise that she found there was almost palpable. He jammed the control mechanism and she found herself falling as the door's support was suddenly yanked from underneath her aching body.
"Aeryn?" D'Argo muttered as he caught her and lowered her to the ground gently. "But you're dead." He seemed more than a little suspicious of her.
"As John would say, 'It wasn't my time'. Where is he?"
"I don't know. He was going through the operation, but Scorpius showed up and we had to hide from him. He came down to the planet for a few minutes, then he left. I came down after, to find John. He wasn't in the operating room, he's not in here... I don't know where he could be."
"Do you think that Scorpius took him?" Aeryn's face was worried as she tensed her body, getting ready to stand up and go after John.
"No, after he left, Moya detected John on the planet, but his lifesigns disappeared soon after."
Aeryn coughed violently, then asked, "Is the transport pod still here?"
"Of course, why?"
"Do you remember where I crashed- the frozen lake?"
"Yes-" D'Argo's voice trailed off as he got her point. "You don't think-"
"That's the only other place I can think that he would go."
"Fine. I'll call Zhaan to look after you and I'll go after John." D'Argo still wore that suspicious look on his face, but he seemed concerned anyway.
Aeryn took a deep breath and finally said, "No, D'Argo, I can't let you go without me. If you do get John, he's just going to try to hurt himself with something in the transport pod. You need somebody else to watch him, and it would take Zhaan too long to get here."
D'Argo nodded roughly and scooped her up in his arms. When she started to protest he said, "We're going to have to get to the pod as soon as possible and we can't do that with you struggling to stand, let alone walk."
Aeryn ceased and just held onto D'Argo as he ran through the corridors. We're coming, John, just hold on.
***
John took a deep breath as he stood on the icy hillside overlooking the lake. He tried to imagine what his friends would say when they found out, but he found he couldn't understand the words he pretended they were saying. He growled in frustration and started the descent, each step getting more determined.
After quite a few microts, he stood at the edge of the lake. He put one foot on the ice, then the other. The ice held his weight. He looked around for the hole that Aeryn's chair had carved into the ice, then started for it. The ice would be thinner there. Before he had gone more than a few meters, he heard D'Argo yelling his name. Slowly he turned around.
***
Aeryn gasped as she saw John for the first time since he had been in the freezer with her. The hole in his head had only a thin white film covering it, and the white film was now almost all red. He saw her and his expression turned from disbelief to guilt and back again, as if he couldn't decide how to feel. He turned around and she let out a tired moan as one of his feet fell through the ice. "D'Argo, we've got to save him."
D'Argo scooped her up again and ran as fast as he could to the edge. He set her down and began to carefully make his way toward John.
"John!" Aeryn cried, forcing the last of her energy into the call, "Please come back!"
John picked himself out of the ice and sat down on the edge, as if contemplating whether or not to jump in. She noted that he hadn't yet spoken, and she thought it strange since he was usually the most talkative person she knew.
Meanwhile, D'Argo kept edging closer to their wounded friend.
***
John looked up at the sound of D'Argo's approach. He knew that D'Argo wouldn't be able to come closer without risking his own safety, but he worried that D'Argo would try anyway. And no matter how much he wanted to die, he didn't want to bring yet another of his friends down with him.
He had heard Aeryn's ghost call to him. He had thought about jumping then, freeing himself of the hallucination and allowing him to finally be with her, but something about the apparition was out of place. He started to yell a warning in gibberish to D'Argo, when he realized what it was: Her dress. Aeryn would never wear a dress, unless... unless she was in too much of a hurry to change into something more practical. He stared at the ghost for a minute, debating his next decision.
***
A tear escaped Aeryn's eye as she saw that John was staring at her. She stared back, forcing every emotion she held in her being to show in her eyes. John closed his eyes for a moment and Aeryn choked back a sob. This is it, he's going to leave me.
***
John pushed himself off of the edge where he had been sitting. He felt the icy water grab him in its fatal grip. He forced the remaining air out of his lungs and tried to suck in the water. He greeted the agony with a grim determination. He felt that only in this way could he die getting what he deserved: the same method by which he had killed the one woman who had ever meant the universe to him.
He saw his life flashing before his eyes; Alex, his dad, Aeryn, D.K., D'Argo, Aeryn, Moya, Pilot, Zhaan, Aeryn... He grimaced as he uncovered his memories of the neural cluster. He saw the love and trust in her eyes as she leaned forward to kiss him, then himself crushing her head into the wall. He concentrated on her eyes as he felt the blackness starting to claim him. Then he saw a bright light ahead of him...
"Jeez!" He heard his mother exclaim as she seemed to see John for the first time. "First her, now you?"
"Mom? What are you doing here?" John asked, surprised to find his ability to speak full restored.
"Well, you're in heaven now, but you're not supposed to be. Your Aeryn came in earlier, but Velorek thought that it would be better if she thought that she wasn't quite "good enough" to get into heaven just yet, so he told her that they were somewhere between here and hell, so she'd keep trying to be more. He really does seem to be obsessed with the 'You/he/she/it can be more' thing." Mrs. Crichton rolled her eyes in mock exasperation.
"Aeryn was here?"
"Yes, but she left. Now you have to leave." She gave him a smile as she pushed him toward a dimly lit tunnel. "I love you, and I want you to know that I like her, just in case."
John turned and hugged his mom fiercely. "Thanks."
She pushed him away, toward the tunnel. "Go, before the window closes."
He gave her one last glance as he ran back into the darkness.
***
Aeryn's eyes widened as she saw John dive in. She moaned as she saw D'Argo race toward the hole in the ice and fish around for the human. Finally, after what seemed an eternity, he dragged John out by his hair. He pulled him to a thicker patch of ice and he turned him over on his back. He hit John hard, trying to get some of the water out of his lungs. Aeryn limped to where her love lay dying.
"D'Argo turn him over," she said as she kneeled beside them. D'Argo did as she requested. Aeryn bent over, put her mouth on John's and exhaled, forcing him to take in air. She felt his chest rise underneath her hand, then deflate again as she backed off. Taking a deep breath, she leaned over and breathed into his mouth again. This time his chest didn't go back down when she came away. She looked to D'Argo, afraid that she had done something that would harm him instead of help him.
Finally, his chest went back down... and came back up of its own accord! She watched John's face eagerly, waiting for a sign. His eyelids fluttered, as if conscious of her eyes on him. One eyelid opened, revealing a bloodshot gray eye. She smiled down at him and D'Argo joined her. "Don't you ever do that to me again," she whispered as John sat up and hugged her.
"Ish xag dully wosh," he murmured in her ear.
She pulled back from him and stared into his eyes. "What?"
He sighed and pointed to the bloody film on his head.
She coughed again as she reached out to examine his wound. This time, her world started to go black around her and the last thing she felt were two pairs of arms supporting her and keeping her warm. Then she was overcome.
***
"Don't worry, John, she'll be alright." Zhaan's voice was the first thing Aeryn heard as she regained consciousness. The second thing she heard was John saying something to himself in gibberish. Aeryn coughed slightly, alerting the others to the fact that she was conscious. Various exclamations of concern echoed from the crew members in the infirmary.
John was the first to reach her side. "Aeryn?" Apparently he can only manage to say names, she thought. She opened her eyes and smiled at him. He smiled back, obviously relieved to see her alive again.
Zhaan held out a food cube. "Do you think you can eat?"
Aeryn nodded slightly and took the food cube. "Thanks." Zhaan bowed her head and left, so that the others might get a chance to see her before she went back to sleep. Jothee and D'Argo were next. D'Argo looked down at her fondly, while Jothee simply said, "Thank you." Aeryn smiled weakly and nodded, little more than a small jerk of the head.
They stepped back to allow Chiana to come closer. "Hey," Chiana whispered as she picked up Aeryn's hand. "You- you had us worried, you know. We didn't think you were coming back..." Chiana took a moment to send a sympathizing look to John. "But I'm glad that you are." She squeezed Aeryn's hand before putting it down and leaving with D'Argo and his son.
By now, only Rygel and Staark were left. Staark simply gave both patients some comforting thoughts before he left, headed for Command. Rygel floated on his throne for a second, ominously silent, before finally saying, "Welcome back." He bowed his head slightly and followed Staark.
John looked up as Zhaan came back with a sedative for them. He held up one finger to her, indicating that he wanted a moment alone with Aeryn. She seemed to understand and backed off, pretending to run some tests on the other side of the room.
John looked down at her with a tear running down his cheek. He brushed a hair back off her forehead and he seemed to think about something for a second. Finally, obviously struggling with the effort, he said, "I..." Unable to continue, he simply kissed her lightly on the lips.
"I love you too," she said, knowing that he would understand the tone of her voice rather than her words. Then Zhaan came in with the sedative. John's face was the last thing she saw before drifting off to sleep.
*****
"Aeryn." Aeryn spun around to see standing in front of her. She looked around at her surroundings with a feeling of dread. "No, you haven't died again." He said quickly. "Just sleeping at the microt."
"Then why…" Aeryn began to ask but cut her off.
"You didn't think I'd abandon you now when you have so much to do! Now that you've been here you can visit whenever you wish. I daresay I shall enjoy you're company." He smiled playfully. He surprised when he her serious look.
", I'm sorry for what I did to you… before," she said quietly. Velorek hoped his amazement wasn't palpable. The Aeryn Sun he had known would never apologize for anything. He smiled. He had definitely been right in his assumption that she could become more.
"Don't be. It's in the past you can't change it. Things are much better here than any peacekeeper prison camp." He took her hands. "Listen, Aeryn, what I brought you here for was to tell that… well… everything will turn out right in the. I know about what's going on on your Leviathan… the burns, the side effects of John's operation, Jothee, everything. Just wait, these problems will work themselves out in time." Aeryn nodded, remembering similar problems among the crew. The had seemed horrible at the time, but now as she looked at them she realized that they were more like adventures. Some of them had brought out the best in herself and her crewmates and many had done the opposite. These adventures were what had formed what John described as their "Jerry Springer type family." She had no clue who or what a 'Jerry Springer' was or why John found it important to mention but she did know that in the end this one would only strengthen the ties she had to this family.
"Are you sure?" Aeryn asked, her face showing her skepticism.
"Hey, I know things like this." Aeryn lifted one eyebrow. "You know, that reminds me of something that I learned from a few humans who are here. It's called the 'vulcan impression.'" Velorek shrugged. "Humans have to be the only species in the universe that has an entire genre of science fiction. What's worse is..." Velorek trailed off as he caught Aeryn's look. "I'm sure you'll learn from John anyway."
"As John would say... You don't know the half of it."
by AerynQ and Erin Cale
(Finally, our first completed collaboration that we didn't feel like trashing)
Disclaimer: Not mine. Rockne O'Bannon's/Sci-fi's (can y'all tell I'm getting I bit tired of writing disclaimers… they just keep getting shorter, and shorter, and shorter…).
Notes: Post ep for DMD… Just HAD to resurrect Aeryn. If the creators keep her dead, I'm gonna be so frelling angry… (My co-author says that the ending sucks only because she wrote only the last paragraph. You should've read it before.)
Spoilers: DMD, TWWW
Feedback: PLEASE!!!! Send it to carlottaq@hotmail.com Thanks y'all (about the excessive use of the word y'all, I just finished doing a skit for my Drama class in which I played a young southern girl and it just kinda stuck).
Thanks: Thank you to my BETA readers, Rebecca and Megan for their constant support.
Rating: PG, just because I don't trust myself to write a "G" story.
"Go away Aeryn we don't need you yet…" The words echoed in Aeryn's mind for several before she looked up at the speaker. It was… Velorek! But that couldn't be Velorek was dead. "Are you listening… you have to leave. If you don't you won't be able to…" Velorek gestured to a tunnel that she dimly remembered having traveled before. Just after… oh god. Suddenly memories that felt a million cycles old came rushing back to her. She remembered falling through the air and crashing through something hard and cold. She remembered taking in a deep breath, not of air but of thick, icy water. Then she had sunk for the longest time… deeper and deeper, until suddenly she wasn't sinking any more. She was floating; floating all the way to… wherever she was now. She remembered John once telling her that after you died you would meet with loved ones who had also passed away. Velorek was certainly dead. Could that mean she was… "Aeryn!" Velorek's ever persistent voice broke her from her reverie. When she turned to face Velorek he seemed relieved that he was finally getting through to her. "Do you want to get out of here or not?" Aeryn nodded numbly still somewhat in a daze because of recent events. Velorek took her arm and began to lead her swiftly down the tunnel. He seemed remarkably fit for a dead man…
As she ran next to Velorek she could not help but notice that the walls of the tunnel were changing. They had been white and vaguely luminescent //John's 'white light'// but now they were beginning to form pictures… no not like pictures, they were moving, more like the images on the clamshell. Fascinated she observed the pictures, without stopping her run. It showed a young Sebacean with raven black hair that matched her own holding a squealing baby. With a shock Aeryn realized that the baby was her and that the woman was her mother. Velorek must have noticed her surprise.
"You were a cute kid… you can ignore that though, it's mostly for effect." He explained with a trace of humor.
"Effect?" Aeryn echoed.
"Oh so you haven't lost your speech!" Velorek exclaimed with mock surprise. "People tend to enter the afterlife with certain… expectations. It seems that having ones life flash before their eyes is a popular one."
"The afterlife?" Aeryn asked apprehensively. Velorek stopped running and turned to face her very seriously. Dimly she noticed that she was experiencing none of the normal effects of physical exertion. Her heart rate hadn't even risen. It was as if she hadn't been running at all.
"Aeryn, you just died, don't you remember?" Aeryn nodded.
"I drowned…" She was silent for a moment searching her memory for the things John told her about the afterlife. So far everything he had said had been correct; the white light, loved ones, life passing before her eyes. "Is this heaven?" John's word for the utopia people entered after death seemed foreign on her tough. Velorek shook his head.
"They don't make heaven for people like us."
"Hell then?"
"No… though that is were most peacekeepers tend to go. You and I landed somewhere in between. Still peacekeepers but…" he smiled suddenly, "I told you you were more." Velorek faltered looking at the wall them. "But you can't stay here now… I'm supposed to be guiding you back to your body… there are still many things you must do in your mortal life."
"What?" Aeryn asked stubbornly. She found this whole scenario unsettling, and wanted desperately to return to her mortal life, but she also wanted to know what was so important about her that she deserved divine intervention. Velorek merely grabbed onto her arm again and resumed their run.
"We have to get out of here quickly, before our window closes and you get stuck." He explained haltingly. It was a while before she looked back up at the walls of the tunnel. She was dismayed to see that it had already reached the part of her life involving Velorek… as luck would have it very close to his death, the point when she would betray him. When she glanced over at her companion she realized he to was watching the tunnel walls. He gave her hand a quick squeeze, apparently he understood.
*******
Suddenly the tunnel closed behind them and Aeryn found herself standing face to face with herself. Only she is in one was of the freezer chambers in "the doc's" lab. As she moved closer to the tinted glass she noticed that Rygel's belt and D'Argo's qualta blade were in the freezer unit with her. Her face seemed so old and pale, not like hers at all, and a lock of her hair was missing.
"You can go back into your body whenever you're ready. It won't offer you any resistance." Aeryn was surprised to see Velorek still behind her. "If our timing is correct, one of your friends… a Luxan should be coming this way pretty soon. I'm sure he'll let you out if you bang on the glass hard enough. Of course if you wish to wait until he gets here…" Aeryn nodded.
"You said you'd tell me why I'm being resurrected," she said pointedly.
"Of course, though I don't know much about it myself. There is a man who loves you. This man holds the fate of almost half the universe in his hands. But he doesn't know this yet, and without you he's worthless." The door creaked open and D'Argo began to walk in, "Go, return to your body now or all is lost!"
"Velorek… I…."
"I know, just go!" Aeryn stepped somewhat regretfully back into her body, and abruptly her awareness changed. Suddenly she found herself in a pool of thick slush, almost ice. Her lungs were burning for air and it was so incredibly cold. For a moment she was certain she was going to drown again, but then she remembered her task. Every muscle in her body screamed with pain as she rammed her arm up against the glass with all the strength that she could muster.
"D'Ar-" her voice gave out as her body tried to expel the water in her lungs. She saw his face as he turned to her. The surprise that she found there was almost palpable. He jammed the control mechanism and she found herself falling as the door's support was suddenly yanked from underneath her aching body.
"Aeryn?" D'Argo muttered as he caught her and lowered her to the ground gently. "But you're dead." He seemed more than a little suspicious of her.
"As John would say, 'It wasn't my time'. Where is he?"
"I don't know. He was going through the operation, but Scorpius showed up and we had to hide from him. He came down to the planet for a few minutes, then he left. I came down after, to find John. He wasn't in the operating room, he's not in here... I don't know where he could be."
"Do you think that Scorpius took him?" Aeryn's face was worried as she tensed her body, getting ready to stand up and go after John.
"No, after he left, Moya detected John on the planet, but his lifesigns disappeared soon after."
Aeryn coughed violently, then asked, "Is the transport pod still here?"
"Of course, why?"
"Do you remember where I crashed- the frozen lake?"
"Yes-" D'Argo's voice trailed off as he got her point. "You don't think-"
"That's the only other place I can think that he would go."
"Fine. I'll call Zhaan to look after you and I'll go after John." D'Argo still wore that suspicious look on his face, but he seemed concerned anyway.
Aeryn took a deep breath and finally said, "No, D'Argo, I can't let you go without me. If you do get John, he's just going to try to hurt himself with something in the transport pod. You need somebody else to watch him, and it would take Zhaan too long to get here."
D'Argo nodded roughly and scooped her up in his arms. When she started to protest he said, "We're going to have to get to the pod as soon as possible and we can't do that with you struggling to stand, let alone walk."
Aeryn ceased and just held onto D'Argo as he ran through the corridors. We're coming, John, just hold on.
***
John took a deep breath as he stood on the icy hillside overlooking the lake. He tried to imagine what his friends would say when they found out, but he found he couldn't understand the words he pretended they were saying. He growled in frustration and started the descent, each step getting more determined.
After quite a few microts, he stood at the edge of the lake. He put one foot on the ice, then the other. The ice held his weight. He looked around for the hole that Aeryn's chair had carved into the ice, then started for it. The ice would be thinner there. Before he had gone more than a few meters, he heard D'Argo yelling his name. Slowly he turned around.
***
Aeryn gasped as she saw John for the first time since he had been in the freezer with her. The hole in his head had only a thin white film covering it, and the white film was now almost all red. He saw her and his expression turned from disbelief to guilt and back again, as if he couldn't decide how to feel. He turned around and she let out a tired moan as one of his feet fell through the ice. "D'Argo, we've got to save him."
D'Argo scooped her up again and ran as fast as he could to the edge. He set her down and began to carefully make his way toward John.
"John!" Aeryn cried, forcing the last of her energy into the call, "Please come back!"
John picked himself out of the ice and sat down on the edge, as if contemplating whether or not to jump in. She noted that he hadn't yet spoken, and she thought it strange since he was usually the most talkative person she knew.
Meanwhile, D'Argo kept edging closer to their wounded friend.
***
John looked up at the sound of D'Argo's approach. He knew that D'Argo wouldn't be able to come closer without risking his own safety, but he worried that D'Argo would try anyway. And no matter how much he wanted to die, he didn't want to bring yet another of his friends down with him.
He had heard Aeryn's ghost call to him. He had thought about jumping then, freeing himself of the hallucination and allowing him to finally be with her, but something about the apparition was out of place. He started to yell a warning in gibberish to D'Argo, when he realized what it was: Her dress. Aeryn would never wear a dress, unless... unless she was in too much of a hurry to change into something more practical. He stared at the ghost for a minute, debating his next decision.
***
A tear escaped Aeryn's eye as she saw that John was staring at her. She stared back, forcing every emotion she held in her being to show in her eyes. John closed his eyes for a moment and Aeryn choked back a sob. This is it, he's going to leave me.
***
John pushed himself off of the edge where he had been sitting. He felt the icy water grab him in its fatal grip. He forced the remaining air out of his lungs and tried to suck in the water. He greeted the agony with a grim determination. He felt that only in this way could he die getting what he deserved: the same method by which he had killed the one woman who had ever meant the universe to him.
He saw his life flashing before his eyes; Alex, his dad, Aeryn, D.K., D'Argo, Aeryn, Moya, Pilot, Zhaan, Aeryn... He grimaced as he uncovered his memories of the neural cluster. He saw the love and trust in her eyes as she leaned forward to kiss him, then himself crushing her head into the wall. He concentrated on her eyes as he felt the blackness starting to claim him. Then he saw a bright light ahead of him...
"Jeez!" He heard his mother exclaim as she seemed to see John for the first time. "First her, now you?"
"Mom? What are you doing here?" John asked, surprised to find his ability to speak full restored.
"Well, you're in heaven now, but you're not supposed to be. Your Aeryn came in earlier, but Velorek thought that it would be better if she thought that she wasn't quite "good enough" to get into heaven just yet, so he told her that they were somewhere between here and hell, so she'd keep trying to be more. He really does seem to be obsessed with the 'You/he/she/it can be more' thing." Mrs. Crichton rolled her eyes in mock exasperation.
"Aeryn was here?"
"Yes, but she left. Now you have to leave." She gave him a smile as she pushed him toward a dimly lit tunnel. "I love you, and I want you to know that I like her, just in case."
John turned and hugged his mom fiercely. "Thanks."
She pushed him away, toward the tunnel. "Go, before the window closes."
He gave her one last glance as he ran back into the darkness.
***
Aeryn's eyes widened as she saw John dive in. She moaned as she saw D'Argo race toward the hole in the ice and fish around for the human. Finally, after what seemed an eternity, he dragged John out by his hair. He pulled him to a thicker patch of ice and he turned him over on his back. He hit John hard, trying to get some of the water out of his lungs. Aeryn limped to where her love lay dying.
"D'Argo turn him over," she said as she kneeled beside them. D'Argo did as she requested. Aeryn bent over, put her mouth on John's and exhaled, forcing him to take in air. She felt his chest rise underneath her hand, then deflate again as she backed off. Taking a deep breath, she leaned over and breathed into his mouth again. This time his chest didn't go back down when she came away. She looked to D'Argo, afraid that she had done something that would harm him instead of help him.
Finally, his chest went back down... and came back up of its own accord! She watched John's face eagerly, waiting for a sign. His eyelids fluttered, as if conscious of her eyes on him. One eyelid opened, revealing a bloodshot gray eye. She smiled down at him and D'Argo joined her. "Don't you ever do that to me again," she whispered as John sat up and hugged her.
"Ish xag dully wosh," he murmured in her ear.
She pulled back from him and stared into his eyes. "What?"
He sighed and pointed to the bloody film on his head.
She coughed again as she reached out to examine his wound. This time, her world started to go black around her and the last thing she felt were two pairs of arms supporting her and keeping her warm. Then she was overcome.
***
"Don't worry, John, she'll be alright." Zhaan's voice was the first thing Aeryn heard as she regained consciousness. The second thing she heard was John saying something to himself in gibberish. Aeryn coughed slightly, alerting the others to the fact that she was conscious. Various exclamations of concern echoed from the crew members in the infirmary.
John was the first to reach her side. "Aeryn?" Apparently he can only manage to say names, she thought. She opened her eyes and smiled at him. He smiled back, obviously relieved to see her alive again.
Zhaan held out a food cube. "Do you think you can eat?"
Aeryn nodded slightly and took the food cube. "Thanks." Zhaan bowed her head and left, so that the others might get a chance to see her before she went back to sleep. Jothee and D'Argo were next. D'Argo looked down at her fondly, while Jothee simply said, "Thank you." Aeryn smiled weakly and nodded, little more than a small jerk of the head.
They stepped back to allow Chiana to come closer. "Hey," Chiana whispered as she picked up Aeryn's hand. "You- you had us worried, you know. We didn't think you were coming back..." Chiana took a moment to send a sympathizing look to John. "But I'm glad that you are." She squeezed Aeryn's hand before putting it down and leaving with D'Argo and his son.
By now, only Rygel and Staark were left. Staark simply gave both patients some comforting thoughts before he left, headed for Command. Rygel floated on his throne for a second, ominously silent, before finally saying, "Welcome back." He bowed his head slightly and followed Staark.
John looked up as Zhaan came back with a sedative for them. He held up one finger to her, indicating that he wanted a moment alone with Aeryn. She seemed to understand and backed off, pretending to run some tests on the other side of the room.
John looked down at her with a tear running down his cheek. He brushed a hair back off her forehead and he seemed to think about something for a second. Finally, obviously struggling with the effort, he said, "I..." Unable to continue, he simply kissed her lightly on the lips.
"I love you too," she said, knowing that he would understand the tone of her voice rather than her words. Then Zhaan came in with the sedative. John's face was the last thing she saw before drifting off to sleep.
*****
"Aeryn." Aeryn spun around to see standing in front of her. She looked around at her surroundings with a feeling of dread. "No, you haven't died again." He said quickly. "Just sleeping at the microt."
"Then why…" Aeryn began to ask but cut her off.
"You didn't think I'd abandon you now when you have so much to do! Now that you've been here you can visit whenever you wish. I daresay I shall enjoy you're company." He smiled playfully. He surprised when he her serious look.
", I'm sorry for what I did to you… before," she said quietly. Velorek hoped his amazement wasn't palpable. The Aeryn Sun he had known would never apologize for anything. He smiled. He had definitely been right in his assumption that she could become more.
"Don't be. It's in the past you can't change it. Things are much better here than any peacekeeper prison camp." He took her hands. "Listen, Aeryn, what I brought you here for was to tell that… well… everything will turn out right in the. I know about what's going on on your Leviathan… the burns, the side effects of John's operation, Jothee, everything. Just wait, these problems will work themselves out in time." Aeryn nodded, remembering similar problems among the crew. The had seemed horrible at the time, but now as she looked at them she realized that they were more like adventures. Some of them had brought out the best in herself and her crewmates and many had done the opposite. These adventures were what had formed what John described as their "Jerry Springer type family." She had no clue who or what a 'Jerry Springer' was or why John found it important to mention but she did know that in the end this one would only strengthen the ties she had to this family.
"Are you sure?" Aeryn asked, her face showing her skepticism.
"Hey, I know things like this." Aeryn lifted one eyebrow. "You know, that reminds me of something that I learned from a few humans who are here. It's called the 'vulcan impression.'" Velorek shrugged. "Humans have to be the only species in the universe that has an entire genre of science fiction. What's worse is..." Velorek trailed off as he caught Aeryn's look. "I'm sure you'll learn from John anyway."
"As John would say... You don't know the half of it."