A/N Based off of a past experience of mine, I felt the need to write this.
It's angsty, I know. It's short, I also know.
Deal with it. xP Please review. Comments, critisism, and praise (winkwink) are always welcome. :)

I tried to keep from crying out, using my dry, shaking hand to set the razor blade down. My breathing was ragged, and I felt nauseous from the smell of blood spilling out of my arm. Despite my trembling hands, sickness, and pain, it felt good. It felt good to finally be in control, to finally be able to have some power.

I had planned it. Edward was off, hunting, and Charlie was at work. I was alone. Able to do whatever I wanted, without someone there to tell me to stop, to tell me I was wrong - even when I was.

I was surprised, actually. I thought Alice would've seen this coming, and Edward would be here right now, at my side. But he wasn't. Maybe Alice didn't see it, for once.

Once the crimson liquid had dripped onto my floor, I weakly crawled towards the chair next to my desk, pulling a piece of clothing draping there off, and dabbing it onto my bleeding wound. I felt as if I was in a drugged state, in another world. My head swam, but not because of blood loss. It was because the feeling I got, raking the razor blade over my delicate skin and watching it break open, the blood pouring out, and feeling the stinging like a hundred needles pinpointed my cut, was amazing.

I stood up, still quivering, and stumbled to the door, holding onto the handle for support. My legs felt like they would buckle any second. Finally, opened the door and walked slowly into the hall, making my way to the bathroom. I ignored the remnants of blood sliding off my pale arm and splattering to the floor.

I dropped to my knees and turned the hot and cold knobs for the shower, watching the water beat down on the bathtub. Using all my strength to undress, I climbed in the confined space and let the clean water pound my damaged skin.

Feeling dizzy, I got to the floor of the tub, laying on my side and breathing heavily. I put my wounded arm down, letting it soak in the pool of water forming next to my distressed figure. I wanted to sleep. I had no intention of getting up anytime soon.

Sighing, I let my eyelids slowly droop closed, and began to slip into unconsciousness at the sound of the artificial rain around me. I felt a pang of guilt, right before I blacked out, knowing that if Edward found out I had done this, he would blame himself. But I promised myself that he would never know, anyways.