Author's Note: It is a ones-hot, but took me about a month to write due to school, though I actually started to write this in school. It is dark and I hope it makes sense. My first attempt at a lemon and I hope I did ok as it is also in first person. Enjoy!

Warnings: Blood, lots of blood talk, cutting, and a lemon.

Tears of Blood

How could I of let it happened?

Somehow I let it happen even after Aya-kun had said to sit out the mission if I was unsure. I said yes, when I now know I should of said no.

Now I'm sitting on my bed staring at these bloodied hands of mine. Of course there isn't any real blood on them. There rarely is any blood on them with my choice of weapon, keeping the target at a distance, much unlike Ken and Aya.

Ken always has blood on his hands after a mission due to the weapon he chose to use. I've always wondered how he uses things such as his bunkgnucks. To feel someone shudder before death in pain, as sharp metal forces itself into the chest and rips itself back out again, taking whatever insides with it. Still I have blood on these hands, like when Ouka and Uncle died: both in my arms. Maybe it is just these two people that cover most of my hands, yet they are clean without a speck of blood to see. I have cleaned them 10 times alone tonight.

A crash from in Ken's rooms snaps me from my thoughts. It probably wasn't loud enough to wake Aya or Youji. Aya sleeps more deeply than he cares to admit. I hear Ken swear lightly and stand up from my bed to see if he is okay. His door was unlocked, so I let myself in, not bothering to knock at this time at night.

Ken looked at me like a deer caught in a set of headlights. He had fallen over the coffee table knocking it over to cause the crash I heard in my room across the hall. His hair was still wet from his traditional shower after any mission, washing the blood down the drain. However, there was blood flowing down the inside of his thighs. It was fairly dark in the room, lit by moonlight and outside streetlights, but my eyes had long adjusted to the darkness. The room was also filled with the light scent of a metallic copper - blood.

I closed the door silently behind me and started walking towards Ken. Ken was shaking as he stood up, dropping a razor blade on the floor. I did the opposite of his actions, kneeling in front of Ken, picking up the fallen blade off the floor, and slashing my wrists. I could feel Ken's eyes on me as I cut the little lines into the flesh, matching the cuts on his thighs. I dropped the razor blade and ran my hands under his boxers where the cuts began, bringing them back down so my hands were now covered in his blood.

My teammate slowly came back down to the floor, and took a hold of my upturned hands, looking down on them. He looked at them what seemed like hours, but was probably a few minutes. He lifted them up, raising his head and our eyes meet.

"Where does it all come from, Ken-kun?" I asked him. "The blood just keeps coming and coming, Ken-kun. Where does it all it come from? Does it even stop?" My vision began to blur as I felt tears starting to fall.

"Omi," he whispered my name, wet drops hitting our hands, his tears adding how to our mix of blood. "Why are you like this?" he asked me.

"Blood. So much blood. It won't wash away Ken-kun. Make it wash away."

He looked at me, releasing my hands to cup the side of my face, using his thumb to wipe away my tears, wiping still wet blood on my face.

"I can't Omi," he told me. I could see the truth filling his eyes. "If I could I would in a moment's heart beat. I would Omi, but I can't. No one can, and the blood will always be there."

I looked back down at my hands covered with Ken's drying blood, the scent still lingering in the air between us. Raising my hands to his lips, Ken began to kiss the blood away. On impulse I started to do the same to his hands, taking in the strength hidden in the skin. He stopped me, taking my face back into his hand.

"How far are we going to take this?"

"Take what?" I asked innocently.

"This," he replied placing his lips against mine. Mine opened allowing his tongue to enter - but Ken didn't take the offer, ending the kiss there.

I inhaled and exhaled a few times realizing that I was now flat on the floor with Ken kneeling over my body. "As far as you want to take it, Ken-kun. I'm too stained to stop you if you go all the way.

This must of angered Ken as he clenched his fist above my head and closed his eyes. Tears fell down onto my face as he spoke. "Damn it Omi! Why are you so focused on the blood? We are all stained, so move on. Why are you closing yourself off?"

"I didn't think I was," I answered honestly. "But I killed my own brothers, I helped in the death of my father, and my sister. How can I get past all of that Ken-kun? How can a killer like me love?"

Ken opened his eyes to look into my eyes. "I killed Kase who was as close to a brother that I never had. I killed my parents emotionally when they were told I was dead, but I'm not!" he told me as I looked up at him, blinking when several tears fell into my eyes. "That doesn't matter anymore though. The past is the past and there is no way to change it. We have to move on and not dwell on it."

"Then why do you cut yourself Ken-kun?" the question came out of my mouth without much thought. "If we are to get over the past you seem to do a lot of reflecting." I stated running my hands back under his boxers to feel all of the scabs, cuts and scars on his thighs. My nails reopened a few cuts as I brought my hands back to my side feeling the wetness of blood on them.

"That is because the past is much harder to move on from. Yet is makes us who we are." There was silence.

Ken lay down next to me on the floor drawing me close to his chest. I could hear his heart beating I was so close against him. We stayed like that on the hard floor for a while, not moving, but merely thinking everything over. Finally I turned my head around to look at Ken, who seemed to be almost asleep.

"Ken?" he opened his eyes sleepily. "Show me love. Make love to me."

"Now!" He said surprised as if he forgot the kisses he started earlier.

"Yes, Ken-kun. Now. Please?" I begged him. "I'm sure I want this. Please, let me forget the blood, even if it is just for a short while."

Ken closed his eyes and sighed opening them again. "If this is what you really want. Tell me and I'll stop at any point." I nod as he moved his body over mine.

First he removed his shirt slowly undoing the front buttons and sliding it off his arms, tossing it across the room. He bent down and starting kissing me again, and when I opened my mouth he didn't pull back but accepted it and the kiss became deeper and deeper. At some point we needed to breathe, and when we parted it took me a second to notice my shirt had been moved all the way to expose my chest to the night air.

"You still want more?" he asked after my top was removed.

"You keep asking when you already know the answer Ken." I reached up running my fingers though his hair hoping to chase any doubts away. And it worked.

"Ok. In that case, we don't need these anymore." Ken said tugging on my pajama bottoms. I nodded in agreement and lifted my hips so that they could be taken off. Doing so our erections rubbed together causing a moan from each of us. "And get off the floor." Ken continued looking downwards at me. I made a move to get up on my own, but Ken lifted me up in his arms instead, setting me back down on his unmade bed. I don't think he ever really makes it.

Before joining me on the bed, Ken removed his boxers. When they came off and Ken remained standing next to the bed for a moment and I could see why he had been staring at me so intently when I had been on the floor. He was so beautiful, as cliché as it sounds. He was.

I reached out to touch is hard member as he crawled over me, stroking him, drawing a gasp in response. I continued to stoke him with both hands as his breath became heavier, and almost pant like. Ken stopped my hands suddenly placing them over my head and holding them there. I looked up confused. He seemed to be enjoying it. Why stop?

"I thought I was suppose to be showing you?" He said lightly becoming more like himself as we went on. I opened my mouth to say something, but was cut off by his mouth over mine, enveloped in another deep kiss. It felt like fire was starting to run though my veins.

"Don't think Omi, just do what you heart tells you."

I laughed slightly, "That sounds like something Youji-kun might say."

"No thinking." Ken repeated with a light kiss on my lips, while moving down my body and spreading my legs apart so he could kneel between them.

He lifted my legs at the knees and slid my legs around his waist. Ken next placed two fingers on my lips and told me to suck them. I did so till he pulled them out and placed the wet fingers at my entrance slowly inserting a single finger. I gasp when he inserted a second and third finger in me and spread them apart. I could feel them moving in and out of me and eventually touch something in me that would of made me call out Ken's name if it wasn't for his hand covering my mouth.

"Shh," he hushed me as he withdrew his fingers. "Don't wake Aya and Youji up."

I blushed and nodded.

Taking my hands down from above my head, Ken opened the cuts that had scabbed over drawing blood once more. I caught what he was about to do in his eyes and began to coax his cock with my blood myself. Ken positioned himself over me and slid into me. There was a look of please on his while there must have been one of pain on mine.

"Does it hurt?"

"I little," I replied telling a half truth It hurt as his member was much bigger and went in further than his fingers had in stretching me. He pulled out and I worried that he was going to stop. I wanted him so bad by this point.

"Roll over and prop yourself up on this." My partner suggested placing a pillow under my stomach. He began again spreading my legs apart, followed by the feeling of the tip of his member against my entrance sliding back into my body.

"Better?"

I nodded into the mattress as he began to move in and out of my body slowly, taking his time to get me used to the feeling. He began to loose control however and moved faster and pounded harder. He hit the spot in me that made stars in my eyes again and I screamed into the mattress no longer really caring if Aya or Youji woke up. One of my hands was brought to my own aching member, and with Ken's hand over mine began to stroke it in time to his thrusts.

My senses overloaded and I screamed out my partner's name. Seed spread out over our hands as I could feel Ken spasm deep in me, spilling his seed in my body. He collapsed to his side, withdrawing and taking me with his; his long arms stretching around me and holding me as close as he could. I relaxed sleepily into the embrace and warmth.

The smell of blood and semen lingered still in the air as Ken threw the duvet over us. Sleepily I took his hand resting on my shoulder and kissed it softly.

"Thank you." I told him in a whisper gradually drifting off. "I love you Ken."

"I love you too Omi."

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