CHAPTER ONE
The Dot Grill…that sounds…cool? NOT. Oh, who cares? They're hiring…that's all that really matters to me right now. I can't just keep roaming around all over the place forever...I've got to start over somewhere…might as well be here…now…
With that last bit of mental reassurance, Renee slammed the door on her 1985 Nissan 300zx. With one last glance of her image in the drivers' side mirror, she headed towards the entrance of the restaurant.
As she entered, she glanced around the place quickly as she strutted confidently up to the counter where a taller, blonde gentleman was manning a register.
"Could I please speak with your manager? I'd like to apply for the position you have posted in the window." Renee said.
"You're looking at him!" The man said. "I have time to talk right now…do you have a resume?"
"Why, yes, I do..." She trailed off as she dug in her giant purse to retrieve it.
"Why don't we go sit down and make ourselves comfortable." The man said as he gestured to an empty booth in the dining room.
They sat down and he asked if she would like anything to drink. She politely declined.
"My name is Gavin Mason, and you are?" He queried.
"Renee Hansen." She stated.
"So, Renee, let's have a look at that there resume." He said as she handed it over to him.
There's no way he's going to hire me! I've never been a waitress before! I don't even like people that much…I'm almost sure he can tell that already!
"I have much fast-food experience, especially in management. I was also a deli assistant manager in a grocery store for a while. That was most recently." She stated, sounding nervous while she watched him scan the piece of paper.
"Green Bay? Wisconsin? U.S.?" He sounded quite surprised.
"Uh, yes…just looking for a fresh start, I guess." She said, not sounding very convincing.
"Ah…I see…well, you're more than qualified for waitress…and it just so happens I could really use an assistant manager here. It pays $430.00 per week, 45 hours a week and you could start whenever you would like. Interested?" He asked.
"Awesome!" She said sounding a little bit too excited. "Sorry, I've just been looking for something for awhile now…"
"It's cool…" He began. "So, when can you start?"
"Um…tomorrow I think?" She said unsure.
"You think?" He asked.
"Well, you see, I just kind of drove into town today…and I'm going to have to find an apartment yet…" She trailed off.
"I'm looking for a roomie!" He said enthusiastically. "My friend, Sean, you see, just joined the army not too long ago, and I haven't been able to find anybody since he left…do you want to see the place?"
"Sure, why not? But how much does it cost?" She asked.
"$300.00 per person, per month, it would just be the two of us." He said.
"That sounds more than reasonable, when could I look at it?" She asked.
"Oh, my shift ends in about five minutes…you could follow me there." He said
"Okay, I'll just wait outside for you." She said.
This could be cool…seems like a nice guy…
CHAPTER TWO
"So…this is it!" Gavin exclaimed. "What do you think?"
I looked around the place…it was decent…small…but decent nonetheless. Definitely worth the small price he was asking, plus I could move in immediately
"I like it…I think I'll take it!" Renee said excitedly.
"Good." He said. "Let me help you with your boxes."
Later that night, after I had gotten my things together, we ordered a pizza. Talked for a little while…
"So…do you mind me asking what brought you to Toronto? To Canada?" He queried.
"No…" She said letting out a long sigh. "It's kind of a long story though…"
"Try me…" He dared.
The next morning felt weird waking up in a strange place, a strange country even. I felt exhausted thinking of all that had transpired the day and the night before when I had told him my life story, and met his girlfriend, Jane. Then I remembered right away that I was going to have to start getting ready for work for the first time in a long time.
That first day went by kind of fast. Matter of fact, all the days went by fast…clouded in monotony and sleepless nights. Don't get me wrong, it's not like things weren't going good for me at work, it was just the same old same, old thing I had done for years already. But at home, things weren't so boring…I felt like I was 19 again, coming to a party every night thanks to Jane's rowdy high school friends. It was fun…at first, just like it had been back then with different people, but I guess I was just feeling out of place and lonely. Spinner, (that's what Gavin wanted everybody to call him), tried to include me as much as he could, but there's only so much time a woman of 24 can spend with a bunch of 17 year olds kids.
"Hey, Renee?" Spinner asked with a pout on his face.
"Yeah?" Renee replied, looking up from what she was doing.
"Would you mind locking up for me tonight if I took off a little early? Jane will kill me if I'm late for the dance…" He looked at her like a lost puppy.
"No…go ahead…have fun…" She said kind of bitterly…knowing she would be awoken by the after-party that will no doubt follow.
"Thanks, man." He said looking relieved now. "Oh, by the way, don't forget, Jay will probably be coming by tonight again per usual…I don't care if he's in here after-hours…just don't let him make a mess, okay?"
"Okeydokey…" She said in a melancholy tone.
That was just great…Jay. Every night that sarcastic bum came in here looking for a free meal, and being the good friend that his is, Spinner always obliged. Could never quite get why…he must see something I obviously don't. I had been hoping that without Spin here, he would go someplace else.
"Ding Dong…" She heard Jay's sing-song voice as he opened the door, interrupting her thoughts.
"Hi…what can I get you tonight?" Renee asked trying to sound polite, noticing it was ten minutes until close. She really needed to try and get home early before that damned dance got out if she wanted to sleep a wink tonight.
"I'll take the usual, please." He grunted out as he plopped himself down by the bar. He looked more grumpy than normal tonight. It must have been a tough day down at the shop. She didn't know much about this man except that he worked at Tony's, a local auto repair shop.
"Here you go." She said as she set down his orange soda and plate with a bacon double cheeseburger and fries. Now all there was to do was sit back and wait for him to finish so she could get out of there. She pulled herself up onto the counter across from him and watched. She noticed his oil stained hands and dirty white tank shirt that revealed a barbed-wire tattoo around his left bicep, his coveralls pulled down, the arms tied tightly around his waist.
"Is there something wrong?" He asked catching her eyeing him up.
"No, no…just…waiting…" She said.
"Are you that anxious to get rid of me tonight?" He asked kind of sounding offended.
"That's not it at all…" She said, lying through her teeth. "I just have kind of an early morning tomorrow…got to open up and all."
"Oh…" He said with a mouthful of food. "So, Renee…I come in here all the time, yet know nothing about you. Why is that?"
"You never asked." She said matter-of-factly.
"Well, YOU never talk." He said in a smart-ass tone.
"What do you want to know?" She said annoyed.
"I don't know, why don't we start out with where you're from, sure never seen you around Degrassi, or Toronto for that matter…" He said looking her up and down. Girls like her weren't from around here, with her curled up, and sprayed down flame red hair and heavy eye makeup.
Girls from Degrassi were more laid back, casual looking. They didn't try too hard to look good. They either were or they weren't in his eyes. And she was.
"Wisconsin." She started, "Green Bay to be exact."
"Good job." He said proud that he got her to talk to him. "Now why are you here?"
"Wanted to get away, that's all." She shrugged her shoulders.
"Yeah, sure…what are you running from?" He asked suspiciously.
"NOTHING!" She said defensively. "Why would you automatically assume that I'm running away from something?! Do I look like a criminal to you?!'
"Do I?" He asked calmly.
"Yes!' She said with a satisfied smirk.
"Exactly, I know what I'm talking about." He said.
"What do you mean?" She asked him confusedly.
"I, a former reformed criminal, know what I see when I see it." He explained. "You look scared and nervous all the time, just like a criminal trying to get away with something."
"I assure you I am not." She said. "I just needed a new beginning."
"What was wrong with your old beginning?" He demanded.
"Ask your good buddy and pal Spin." She said as she hopped off the counter and leaned on his table.
"Oh, so he knows…" He said as though he had it all figured out.
"Well, I did move in with him, I figured he had a right to know." She said leaning back with her hands on her hips.
"Ah, well then it all makes sense…" He said knowingly. "…but does Jane know?"
"Know what?" I asked in wonderment.
"About your little tryst with Spin?" He said laughing.
"WE'RE NOT!!!" She argued.
"Then you're just friends, I suppose." He said grinning like the Cheshire cat.
"We're probably not even that, we're barely acquaintances I'd say." She said.
"Okay, fine, I give up on the guessing. Would you please just let me in on the big secret? I promise I won't tell." He said crossing his fingers in a very childlike manner.
"Alright, you asked for it." She snapped at him. She hoped maybe if she dumped everything on him all at once that he'd never ask her another question and avoid her for the rest of his life.
"Two years ago, my fiancé and I got married. We had a daughter together. We both had good jobs and a nice home. Are you following me?" She was almost yelling at him. He just nodded as he stared at her fiery green eyes with his deep blue ones.
"One day, my husband dropped me off for work early in the morning. He then went to go drop off our little girl at my parents' home for the day. On his way there, they were t-boned by a big pickup truck in their little station wagon. Adam was killed instantly…and Anna…well, she died two days later in the hospital. I was lost, a mess. I didn't know what I had to live for anymore. So, distraught, I sold our house and nearly everything inside to try and get rid of the memories. Then I moved back in with my parents, and when I couldn't stand listening to my mom cry about the loss of her grandchild anymore when I couldn't shed another tear, I lost it and took off and haven't looked back since. And here I am standing before you. ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?!"
She looked deep into his eyes for a moment, tears swelling in hers. All of a sudden, she turned and ran off into the kitchen. Jay tossed back the stool he was sitting on and jogged after her. She had locked herself in the office and was sitting at the desk slumped over wailing. For a moment he thought of leaving her in peace and just getting the hell out of there before he caused any more trouble. But, that would have been the 'old Jay's' reaction. Instead, he went back out in the dining room, picked up his dirty plate and glass and headed back into the kitchen to wash them. When he was done with that, he went back out to pick up the stool he knocked over and wipe off the counter. Then…he just waited and watched, like she had before for him.
I could hear water running in the kitchen behind me, but I never bothered to look up. The place could have flooded and I would have been none the wiser till the water hit my feet. But then…it was quiet. I could hear switches being flipped in the next room and see the lights going dim. I held back a sob and opened the door and walked back into the restaurant where Jay was sitting alone in the dark at a table. He looked up at me with a sullen look on his face...
"I…picked up my stuff…" He said slowly, looking
"Thank you…" She said quietly.
"Look, I'm sorry… I had no idea and no right. When I get tired and cranky, sometimes the 'old me' comes out. I try and keep myself in check, but I slip up anyway…a lot…" He said sincerely.
"I don't know the 'old you', so I guess I can't judge the 'new you' too much." She said.
"Then why don't we remedy that? Let me give you a lift home?" He asked with his bottom lip stuck out. She looked up into his pleading eyes and just nodded slowly while she grabbed her coat.
CHAPTER THREE
It seemed like a long car ride, but we finally got there. He pulled his little orange Honda Civic to the curb just a little ways from the driveway. He and I had been quiet the whole way there. As he put it in park, he turned to look at me.
He let out a heavy breath, "Are you going to be okay?"
She just shook her head no.
"You know, in a way, I know what you're going through." He admitted.
She wiped a tear from her eye, and had a puzzled look on her face, thinking 'you can't possibly know', but still said nothing.
"Last year my girlfriend, actually, ex-girlfriend, was murdered." He looked to her as he finished his sentence and watched as her eyes widened.
"I'll tell you the story if you care to listen…" He looked to her for her approval. He received none, but heard no objections either, so he continued…
"I haven't always been a good guy to women…especially Alex. I used them like toys and threw them away as soon as they objected to the abuse. I never wanted anything more than a hookup…except with Alex. She even lived with me when things got too bad at home, all thanks to her mother's spectacular choice in men. But, I still cheated on her anyway, like the fool that I am. One day she decided that she just didn't want to deal with my immaturity anymore…and became a lesbian." He heard Renee let out a small snort of amusement at his last statement, but went on anyway.
"Eventually I met this chick named Manny, and it started out as a big fraud to fool her dad into giving her more freedom away at college, but I fell for her hard, and when she found out that I wanted more than something casual, she bailed on me and the whole sham we were trying to pull off. That's when I fully understood what I had put Alex through all those years. I decided from then on in that I wasn't going to be just some one-night-stand kind of guy that girls chase after to make their boyfriends jealous or to tick of their fathers."
"That's when I ran into Alex at The Dot one night after her girlfriend Paige broke up with her. I pledged my undying love for her, told her that I was a one-woman man now and that I would never do her wrong again. She believed me and agreed to give me a second chance. She moved into my place and things were great…for awhile."
"One night I came home late from work to find Paige's car in the driveway…I was steaming. I pretty much kicked in the door to find them two making out on my couch. I don't really remember too much after that except that I felt like I'd been punched in the stomach. She told me that it just wasn't going to work for us anymore, she just didn't feel the same way that she used to, that she wasn't the same person I remembered. The classic "it's not you, it's me'. She said she was sorry, that she wanted to be friends, and that she wanted me to understand. Maybe I was just too dense, or maybe I just didn't care, but I kicked her out right then and there, knowing she had nowhere else to go but back to her moms'"
"Why didn't she move in with her, you know…girlfriend?" Renee asked, finally breaking her silence.
"She couldn't…Paige's mom didn't know she was 'playing for the other team' so to speak." He answered, air quoting.
"So, she went back home to an angry drunk who was waving a gun at her mommy, and in his word's, 'she just got in the way.'" He bowed his head as he finished and punched his steering wheel.
"I don't know what to say..." Renee said. "I misjudged you…and I'm sorry."
"It's fine." He said.
"Thanks again for bringing me home." She said as she started to exit the vehicle. She couldn't help but feel happy when he said:
"I'll see you tomorrow, Hansen"
CHAPTER FOUR
The next day seemed to drag on forever. I was in my own little world thinking about last night. Usually, every snide little comment made by every snooty customer would bug the hell out of me all day and then some, but today they just seemed to roll off my back. I hardly noticed Spinner talking to me until he mentioned Jay's name.
"So, why and how did you leave your car here last night?" Spinner asked slyly, already knowing the answer.
"Jay gave me a ride." Renee replied coyly.
"Wow, you two must have really hit it off after I left, huh?" He asked laughing
"Nah, it wasn't like that…we just got to talking and it was late and I was tired…" She said making excuses for herself.
"You don't have to explain yourself. Jay's got a way with the ladies." Spinner said shrugging.
"So I've heard…but from the way he makes it sound, he's a lot different than he used to be." She said, almost looking for reassurance.
"Yeah, if you would have asked me two, three years ago, I would have told you he was lowlife scum, but nowadays he's a good guy." Spinner admitted.
"Jeez, it's almost closing time already!" She said. '"Today sure flew by!"
"Time flies when you're having fun!" H3 said, cockily quoting the old cliché. "Speaking of which, it's Sean's birthday tonight, and Jane and I are throwing him a little party since he's going to be in town for awhile again, would you mind-"
"-Closing up for you…" Renee finished, rolling her eyes. "The answer's no, now just get out of here before I kick you out!" She said as she playfully kicked him in the ass.
"Okay, okay! Pushy, pushy!" Spinner cried as she shoved him out the door.
9:45…fifteen minutes till close and still no Jay…this was unlike him. Where was he? Did I scare him away last night? I know it was only one night, but it was the closest I've felt to having a friend in years. He understands me I think, because he's just like me in a way, and even though we differ in many ways, I want to try to understand him some more. I would never be interested in a guy like him romantically, but I think as a friend, we could have fun. 10:00, I better go lock the door.
She turned the latch on the door and turned around, returning to her thoughts, when all of a sudden she was startled bay the jingle of the bells hanging on the front door being jarred. She whipped her head around to see Jay out in the rain pounding on the glass.
She jumped up and quickly opened the door to let the soggy man in. He stomped off his boots and shook the water out of his shaggy hair.
"Sorry I'm late." Jay said, smiling.
"I didn't know we had a date." Renee teased him.
"Ha, ha, ha…you're so funny." He said sarcastically.
"I'm sorry to be a party pooper, but you're going to have to eat quickly tonight, I've got to get home before it gets too crazy if I want a bed to sleep in. Last night, I found these two kids going at it like rabbits in my room."
He burst into laughter. "Party pooper? Really? Alright then, sounds like fun. I know, why don't I just skip dinner tonight, I'll just catch the drive-thru on the way home." He said as he turned to leave.
"Wait! You don't have to leave…right now. Would you mind sticking around till I leave? Just to keep me company?" She asked shyly.
"Sure, why not?" Jay said, looking happy. "So, Spin's still a party animal, huh?"
"Apparently…it gets annoying after awhile not really having a space of your own." She said.
"I can imagine." He responded sympathetically. "You know, if it gets too wild, you could always come crash at my place-no funny business-I have two empty bedrooms and a pullout couch."
"Very reassuring." Renee said while she secretly mulled it over in her head.
The ride home was full of jibes back and forth and lots of laughter that was until we got to my house to see two hotheaded teenage boys duking it out on the front lawn. I just flashed Jay a pissed off look over the rims of my glasses, and he knew what I was thinking.
"You got everything you need in that tote bag you're carrying or do you have to run in and get something?" Jay asked, poking fun at my rather large purse.
"Thank you, and yes I have everything…are you sure you don't mind?" Renee asked skeptically.
"Of course not, nothing I hate more than a big empty house." He said as he put the car into gear and pulled away, squealing the tires.
When we got to his house, I couldn't help but be a little surprised, okay, a lot surprised. It was really nice…and huge! I guess my mouth must have been gaping a little when I entered the Hogart residence…
"When my mom died…and my dad took off, we made a little arrangement, he would stay out of my life, and I would stay out of his…for a price." Jay said, as though he owed her an explanation of sorts for his way of living.
"I see." Renee said, not really wanted to delve much further at that time. It seemed like a touchy subject by the way he gritted his teeth when he mentioned his father.
He gave her the grand tour and showed her to where she would be sleeping.
"This is my old room…I took the master once it became available." He said, looking kind of bitter as he studied the walls with the posters of bands popular almost 10 years ago. It made it very real to her just how long he had been on his own.
"Goodnight, Hogart." She said.
"Goodnight." He said, readjusting his hat and cocking it to the side.
CHAPTER FIVE
When I awoke the next morning, I was at first taken aback by my strange surroundings. But I had to admit that I hadn't had this good of a nights' sleep in ages, despite the musty, dusty and faded hockey sheets that hadn't been touched in years that I shared the night with. I looked at the clock and when I realized that I was running late, I quickly got up and showered and got ready. As I was getting dressed, I noticed a faded black T-shirt with the familiar red lettering that read 'The Dot Grill' on it, with a little note that read 'I won't be needing this anymore…and you're welcome. Jay'. I smiled, he must have snuck in here after I passed out. I put the fresh shirt on, though it was big on me, and immediately noticed that, though it was obviously clean, his smell musky aftershave and motor oil clung to it.
When I got downstairs, I peeked into the big bedroom that was Jay's. He wasn't there. So I continued my search on into the living room where it ended when I found him curled up on the couch, shirtless and in his black boxers, with a tiny throw pulled over him in an attempt to take the chill off, the television turned on to some lame early morning infomercial. As I was about to head out the door, I took a passing glance at the clock to check the time, when I noticed it said it was an hour earlier than it had said upstairs just minutes ago. Damn you, daylight savings time. At least I had some time for breakfast, if he had any food. I dropped my bag and headed for the refrigerator. Milk, eggs, cheese, bread, hot dogs, frozen pizza, chips and dip, and, of course, lots of beer. Eggs with cheese it was! As I scrambled around looking for a frying pan, I thought I'd be nice, and leave him some breakfast to as a friendly gesture. I started mixing up the eggs, even getting creative by putting little bits of hot dog leftovers in with them. I heard him stir on the couch. I hoped I hadn't woken him with all the noise I was making, but no, he had just rolled over on the couch and now had one leg completely hanging off. I giggled to myself noticing the little beer belly he had, until I felt a little pang of jealousy when I noticed 'Alex' with little hearts tattooed on his left peck. I don't quite know why it bothered me, it just did. I finished, cleaned up and ate and left his plate on the little island in the kitchen with a paper plate on top to attempt to keep it warm. When I left, I made sure to slam the door loudly to make sure he'd wake up in time for my little surprise.
"Huh…What…?" He heard himself say as he awoke with a jerk. He heard a car starting outside and realized it must just be Renee leaving for work. He sat up and rubbed his face and eyes. It had been a rough night. Sometimes he had bad dreams…nightmares that were only cured by late night TV and a good stiff drink. His slight hangover headache was only overwhelmed by the hunger pangs in his stomach. He rose and headed to the bathroom to relieve himself. He found himself distracted by the lingering smell of the apple shampoo she had accidentally left behind in the shower and the faint smell of hairspray and some light perfume that she always wore. He shook his head as he noticed her make-up strewn all over the counter as well. High-maintenance girls were something he had very little experience with. He chuckled to himself thinking that he rarely let them stick around his place long enough to primp though. He flipped the light switch back off and made his way to the kitchen, where he noticed a plate steaming on the counter. He lifted the paper plate on top to investigate closer and found it was a plate of scrambled eggs with hot dog chunks in them. Yum, he thought as he devoured them. He couldn't believe she had been so nice. It made him feel all warm and fuzzy inside…like he had last night after he had crept into her room to leave her that old raggedy work shirt. He had stood for a moment and just watched her sleep. Then, as he had just been about to leave, he felt compelled to give her a little kiss on the forehead. Even he had been shocked he did that, but it just felt right.
"Hey, where'd you get the retro wear?" Spinner asked her as she walked up right when he was unlocking the door the The Dot.
"Jay…I crashed at his place last night…" Renee said, noticing mischief on his face, she continued, "…in separate rooms, Spin." He looked almost disappointed, she thought. For a guy, he sure was always looking for some drama to dish about a lot.
"Did he used to work here?" She asked.
"Yeah, a long time ago, when we were still in school, before he got expelled." He explained. Spinner then related the story of how Jay had managed to get himself expelled in the first place. It did indeed sound like something the old 'slimeball Jay' would have done, or so she had been told by so many.
Eventually, I became full time closer when Jane started working with us. In my opinion, lately the more I avoided her the better. She wasn't ever happy to be there, just to be with Spin, and since he had failed to live up to her high expectations and dreams of college, she had decided to remain in town and move in with us for the time being, setting her lofty aspirations on the following year. Living quarters were tight and cramped and tensions ran high between the two of us. The only good part was my rent dropped by $100.00 with her in the house now, but I would have gladly paid double what I was saving for a little privacy.
Days came and days went, but our little routine Jay and I had started never ceased. I tried to come up with excuses as often as possible to stay over at his place. He came to visit me religiously, (or at least I liked to believe it was for me and not the food, but I never could be entirely sure), except for on Sundays, his only recurring day off in the week, due to the shop being closed on that day. He never did tell me where he went on those days, but, then again, I never really asked…until one unusual day…
"Jay?" Renee asked melodically one quiet Saturday night. "What are you doing tomorrow?"
"Nothing important…" Jay replied. "Why? You got something going on?"
"Not really, just wondering if you'd like to do something, because I'm already bored of thinking about how bored I'll be tomorrow."
He snickered, how he loved her wit. "We can do something… I'll pick you up…say, noon?"
"Cool." I said.
"On one condition…we're taking your car." He bargained.
"Why?" I asked surprised.
"Only because it's a sweet ride!" He said as we said our goodbyes.
CHAPTER SIX
For a guy that gives off that 'I don't give a shit' vibe so well, he sure is punctual.
Renee hustled as she heard his car horn beeping outside, scrambling to find her lost shoe. She checked her appearance in the mirror as she left one last time, and for the billionth time. She could never figure out why she cared so much. Her hair and makeup were flawless as usual. Her outfit was light blue denim skirt with strategically placed holes she had bought years ago, but she thought they made her butt look good, so it never found its' way out of her closet, even when she had been too heavy to fit into them. She had picked out a black polo shirt with little pink and grey skulls lined up on the front, with a denim bag with similar skulls emblazoned on its side. And, since he had reminded her to 'prepare to get wet', she had put her orange and pink Hawaiian floral print tankini on underneath it all. She hurried a little faster when she heard the beeping from outside start up again, as, in unison, she heard Jane scream groggily, 'make him shut-up!' from Spinners' bedroom.
"It's about time, man!" Jay said, already leaning out the drivers' side window of her car.
Renee just rolled her eyes and tossed him the keys.
"How's it going?" He asked her, flashing her one of his irresistible smiles.
"Tired…the football morons were over again last night." She said, referring to Jane's idiotic teammates
"Fun, fun…I'm just so darn disappointed I wasn't invited." He said with mock hurt in his voice.
"Don't cry, crybaby." She said teasingly. "So, where we headed?"
"It's a surprise." He said, almost singing his sentence.
As we drove past the city limits, I rolled down my window and deeply breathed in the crisp, fresh air. I could hear him revving the engine on my little car, pushing it to its limits going faster and faster. I snuck a look in Jay's direction to see his tanned arm casually hanging out the window, his hair blowing in the wind and a smile on his face.
I had to admit he looked handsome in his sunglasses. I turned my attention back to what was whizzing by us outside. I did that for awhile, but then I felt like I was being watched. I looked over my shoulder quickly, just in time to catch Jay snap his attention back to road in front of us. For some reason, I felt the need to test this. I readjusted myself in my seat, muttering something about my feet feeling cramped, and crossed my legs subtly…
Jay watched as Renee wriggled in her seat, she crossed her legs, which hiked up her skirt just ever so slightly, revealing her thighs just a little more, along with a flowery looking swimsuit skirt beneath that he secretly hoped he might get to see more of later. He unconsciously winced and mouthed the word 'ooh' as she ran her fingers over her knee and up further, when suddenly she whipped her head around, as if she was trying to trap him. He turned ever so slightly red with embarrassment, but he didn't fail to notice the satisfied grin plastered all over her face. But what was he supposed to do? He was attracted to her, from her full hips to her big boobs. She wasn't the norm flat as a board waif he was usually attracted to, but different felt good
"We're here!" Jay announced, two hours after their journey had begun.
Renee looked up ahead of them and saw a quaint little cabin backed by a serene looking lake.
"It's my grandmothers' place." He said, already knowing what the next words out of my mouth were going to be.
They trudged up the long driveway to the doorway, which was promptly swung open to reveal a short, older woman, maybe in her 60's standing open-armed.
"Jason!" Renee heard her cry.
"Grandma!" Jay yelled, sounding like a reverted 5 year old. It was adorable.
"And this must be the famous Renee, eh?" She heard the old woman ask, arms outstretched, waiting for a hug.
"This is my grandmother, Emily." Jay said.
"It's nice to meet you, Emily." Michelle said in response.
"I've heard so much about you." Emily told her, lowering her voice as if it were a secret they were sharing.
"Grandma!" Jay said, scratching at his neck timidly.
"Oh, Jason, hush!" Lily said, poking fun at him. "We've got a few hours before dinner, why don't you two go for a ride on the boat?"
"Sounds like fun." She said
"Sure you don't mind Grandma?" Jay asked concerned.
"Na, now get out of here you kids! It's just so nice to see you happy, Jason!" Emily called after them.
Jay turned and flashed her 'the look' and she just waved it away nonchalantly.
Jay helped Renee climb onto the pontoon and started to work on freeing it from the dock. He snuck a quick look up at her while she was stripping down to her bathing suit. She sat down in a lawn chair and laid back to bask in the sun. He grinned cynically as the things the 'old Jay' would have done crept to the forefront of his mind.
"What's taking so long, Jay?" Renee asked concerned, as if picking up on his wicked thoughts.
'Nothing!" Jay said as her words snapped him back to reality, hopping onboard.
Jay went to work right away getting two fishing poles wormed and ready. They both went and sat up on the two captains chairs at the bow. Both of them fished and fished to no avail. Jay took one last look at the fish finder, and shook his head, deciding to give up.
"Do you mind if we stay out just a little bit longer?" Renee begged. "It's just so beautiful…peaceful…" She said dropping down into the bench, giving him big old puppy dog eyes.
'Yes, yes…" Jay said setting himself down next to her.
They both stared off into the sunset.
'It's just so calming…" Renee said, leaning her head lightly on his shoulder.
Jay just pulled her in tighter and kissed her lightly on the head.
Later on, they ate dinner, chatted with Jay's grandmother a bit more, said their goodbyes and headed out.
They had driven a little ways out from the long, old driveway that led up to the cabin, when Renee leaned back and spread out a little looking to get comfortable. She rested her limp hand near the floor shifter, when she was taken off-guard by Jay's hand gently, yet firmly gripped hers in his.
I should feel guilty…but I don't. Why though? It's not like I did anything wrong. Or did I? It's confusing…but Adam would want me to be happy…right? I really like Jay, but it feels weird, because I haven't felt like that about anyone since Adam. I think he likes me, too. But he's so not my type…I hate those 'player' guys…but supposedly he's changed his ways and that's not him anymore. But I know I have trouble overlooking the past, even Adam had found that out pretty darn quickly, and it sounds as though he was very tame compared to Jay. But then again, I'm older now…more mature…and now I have a pretty big past of my own with lots of baggage that he would have to take into consideration, too.
When they got back to casa Spinner, it actually looked quiet for once, so Jay decided that he would be gentlemanly and walk her to the door.
"Wow…today was a great day, wasn't it?" He asked, awkwardly running his fingers through his hair.
"Honestly? The best I've had in awhile." Renee stated with a big grin on her face.
"Do you maybe want to come in and watch a movie with me or something? Looks like everybody else is out right now…" She trailed off hopefully, looking up at the big dark house.
"Good idea, I'm too wound up to go home yet anyway." He replied, making a hand gesture towards the door.
"Ladies first." He joked nervously.
She fussed with her keys, wondering what she might have just initiated, but those thoughts were brought to an abrupt end when she swung the door open to find that she wasn't the only person who had the idea for a movie night.
Sitting on their couch was Sean, recently returned from his short stint in the army, some tall blonde, a tall, scruffy-looking, dark-haired guy, a short dark-haired girl, a black guy in a wheel chair with some tall brunette, and Spinner and Jane making out on the love seat per usual. All giving Jay and her the evil eye.
"Hi…" Renee squeaked out as she looked up at Jay, who had turned white as a ghost.
"Actually, I'd better get going. Sorry, I forgot I have to be up early, I'll see you tomorrow." Jay rambled on as he scrambled out the door.
"Okay, bye…" She said to a man that was already gone.
"I thought you were still at work Spin, sorry to interrupt." She stated. "I'm Renee." She said giving a small wave of her hand.
"Holly J's closing tonight." Spinner said, referring to his newest hire. "So, hey, this is Emma, Craig, Manny, Jimmy, and Ashley." He listed, pointing to each consecutively.
"And guys, this is my roommate Renee." Spinner introduced.
"Okay, Renee, please explain why you were just walking in here with he Devil's spawn?" The girl called Manny asked, referring to Jay, not so politely, with a smug smirk on her face.
"MANNY! That's none of your business!" Emma chided.
"Aw, guys, cut him a break, he's not so bad anymore." Sean said.
"No, you're right, Sean, he's only just awful now." Craig said, sarcastically rolling his eyes.
"Sorry, I'm a little confused right now, I'm going to head up to bed. 'Night Spin, Jane." Renee concluded turning away, offended.
"Renee, wait!" Spinner called after her.
"Know what Spin?" Ashley said, standing up out of the recliner. "I'm afraid that I can't hang out with someone who hangs out with his best friends almost killer." She finished before Jimmy and her stormed out together, but not before he rolled over Renee's foot.
"OW! God, watch where you're going!" Renee yelled after the two.
She looked back around the people that remained in their living room as they all still stared at her as if she had antlers, but she zeroed in on Manny, recalling the night Jay told her his story. 'This must be the one he was referring to' she thought to herself.
"Why don't you join us?" Jane asked, sensing her tension. Wow, she was actually being useful for once.
"Yeah…" Sean added. "You're going to be living here, we might as well all get to know each other a little better."
"Sure…" Renee said, slightly unsure, as she plopped herself down in the recliner where Ashley had been moments ago.
"Spinner, how could you?" Craig asks looking pissed beyond belief. "You promised us you had nothing to do with that scumbag anymore!"
"Craig…please…it was so many years ago…can't we just let it go already?" Sean said trying to keep the peace.
"Oh sure, Mr. I Only Work With Him! You knew! And you hang with him to yet, don't you?!" Craig fumed.
"Craig, man, take it easy. He needs friends too, dude." Spinner said calmly trying to reason with Craig.
"He's nothing but a lowlife stalker." Manny said throwing her arms in the air. "He gave up the privilege of friends long ago."
"STOP! PLEASE!" Renee begged. "Listen, I don't know your past with Jay, I just know he's a nice guy who's been nothing but a wonderful friend to me when I need it most. Spinner and Sean have nothing to do with him beyond their work, I'm the one who brought him here to begin with, and since I live here too, I have every right to bring friends home if I so choose. So if you're going to be mad at anyone, be mad at me, and since we had nothing to do with each other fifteen minutes ago, we won't be losing out on much if you're going to hold this against me and not get to know me any better. It's your choice and your loss."
With that, she got up and stormed up the stairs, with Emma quickly on her heels.
"We're sorry…" Emma started.
"No, you'resorry, I don't seen anyone else up here." Renee bittered.
"I know, I know…it's just that…well, I'm sure Jay hasn't shared much of his past with you yet, and while I believe he's different and see a change in him, some people will never be able to accept that, considering all that he's done to hurt people."
Emma went on to explain how Jay caused her and Sean to break up, not once, but twice. How he convinced Sean to steal. How he got Jimmy crippled and Spinner expelled. How he had womanized so many. How he had lied to and obsessed over Manny."
"You do know I've heard all of this from Spinner and Jay already?" Renee queried putting emphasis on Jay's name.
Emma looked shocked.
"Really?!" Emma looked confused and surprised that Jay had actually admitted all those things to her. "And you still like him?!"
"Yeah." Renee said with a 'duh' tone to her voice.
"Wow…" Emma said, plopping herself down on the end of the bed next to Renee.
"I know he's done some horrible things, alright? And five or six years ago, I wouldn't have dreamed of being associated with a guy like him. But now I have my own problems that he's actually helping me through. He's a good friend, and I'm trying to decide if I can handle him being more to me or not yet." She admitted. "Listen, I don't expect you guys to hang around him or even me, but I would appreciate if you didn't scare him away before I have a chance to decide for myself if I want to keep him around or not."
"That's more than fair." Emma said. "He needs someone like you I think. He's been through a lot himself lately, and I think it's been a real test for him to not turn back into the big prick he used to be. I think you can help remind him why he changed to begin with, because I think he was starting to lose sight of that."
"So let me get this straight: you don't think I'm insane, stupid and crazy?" She asked.
"Of course I do, silly." Emma joked. "But you have to take chances in life, otherwise it would be awfully boring. I mean, look, what Jay and I did was more or less my fault, he didn't put a gun to my head. I was working through some things and made a mistake. And Sean wasn't always a great boyfriend, even before Jay was even in our lives, but I believed in him and he turned it all around. Point is, everybody makes mistakes, and what Manny and them just said and did to you…that was a big mistake, 'cause you're a really cool chick."
"Gee, thanks, it's wonderful to get the approval of someone four years younger than me!" Michelle joked, poking Emma playfully in the ribs.
CHAPTER SEVEN
The next day, work went on as usual as I anticipated closing time. Before I knew it, those familiar arms grabbed me from behind and tickled my waist and lit up my dismal world like they always did.
"Look, I'm so sorry I bailed on you last night…" Jay began. "It's just that all those judgmental eyes glaring at me, well, kind of scared me."
"Why?" Renee asked softly, cocking her head to one side. "You know I don't really care what other people think of me!" She giggled sarcastically, gesturing to her clothes, hair and makeup and giving him a playful shove in the chest. "Seriously, you have nothing to worry about. If anybody does…it's me." She added, sounding a little more serious, turning her back to him, trying to hide the worried look in her eyes.
"Why on earth would you say that?" He asked, putting both his hands on her upper arms, gently turning her to face him. He raised her chin with his index finger so that her gaze met his. "You know I really like you, right? Nothing else matters to me"
Renee peered deep into Jay's icy blue eyes which seemed to melt a little whenever he looked into hers. Her stomach knotted up with butterflies as he looked repeatedly from her eyes to her lips and slowly bent his head down to her level.
She quickly drew in a sharp breath as his soft lips barely touched hers for the first time. As if by instinct she wrapped her hands around his neck, pulling him closer to her, encouraging him to lightly nibble on her bottom lip. Then they both parted their lips, allowing their tongues to barely touch.
After a few seconds, they pulled away from each other, just staring at each other, before once again succumbing to their mutual desire to feel closer to the other.
When all of a sudden, Jay pulled away, startling Renee greatly.
"Do you want to come over tonight?" Jay asked suddenly, yet caustiously.
"Yes." Was all she could stutter out.
CHAPTER EIGHT
"Do you want to watch a movie or some TV?" Jay asked when they walked in the door.
"Sounds great." Renee replied.
His house was so familiar, he was so familiar. But because of what had transpired a little over a half an hour ago.
"Any suggestions?" Jay asked as he shuffled thought a pile of DVD's.
"Whatever…doesn't matter much to me." She said shrugging her shoulders casually throwing her purse in the corner of the room.
Jay decided on his favorite movie, "The Boondock Saints". That small fact brought back major déjà vu to her, considering that had been Adam's favorite movie as well. It made her very uneasy for a moment, questioning her judgment, until Jay settled himself on the big, oversized couch and patted the seat next to him, inviting her to join him. She settled herself down as he draped his arm around her shoulders and she laid her head on his.
The movie started, but neither was paying much attention. After about an hour into it, Jay started shifting uncomfortably, mumbling something about needing to stretch out a bit. Michelle moved over a bit and folded her legs up by her side as he put both of his legs up on the couch, nestling her in between. After awhile her eyes began to feel heavy, and rested her head on his stomach. His breathing calmed her, but hers was another story for him. His shirt had pulled up a bit, exposing part of his bare stomach, and quite frankly her breath on his skin was quite exciting.
She was surprised to feel him harden under her weight, but just smiled to herself and pulled herself closer, hoping to excite him more. She heard him groan under his breath as she brushed against his erection. He softly started to massage her neck and caress her hair in hopes of getting more of a response, but instead, soon, her exhaustion prevailed and she was fast asleep.
CHAPTER NINE
A couple hours later, Jay was watching Renee peacefully asleep in his lap. He couldn't remember the last time he felt so happy, so peaceful, but so scared at the same time. You see, every time pressure was put on him, almost always he reverted to his old ways and screwed everything up. He swore to himself right then and there that that wouldn't-no-couldn't happen this time around.
He started to feel his leg falling asleep from all her weight leaning on him, and was afraid he was going to have to wake his sleeping beauty.
"Babe...babe...RENEE" He said consistently louder each time, gently yet firmly shaking her side.
"Wha-What?!" She yelled, rudely jarred out of her deep sleep.
"Babe, I'm sorry, but my leg's asleep." He told her.
"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to go to sleep…" She mumbled, still out of it. "Geez, it's getting late…I better get to bed…I told Spinner I'd open for him tomorrow." She remembered, glancing at the clock on the mantle.
"You're not going to Jane's graduation?" He asked surprised.
"Hell no…why are you?" She asked also surprised.
"No, no, no…I just thought you two might be close, living together and all." He said.
"Yeah, we're close…close to killing each other." She stated. "Don't tell Spinner this, but she always thinks that Holly J. and I hit on him when she's not around…it's the whole reason she took the job there, so she can keep me from "stealing" him.
"But Holly J. does hit on him all the time." He said matter-of-factly.
"Hahaha…I know…it's kind of cute…I sort of wish that he would dump Jane for her…she's kind of a bitch, you know." She said.
"How do you mean?" He asked.
"You have to swear not to tell Spinner…" She said quite seriously. "He would never believe me and he'd kick my ass out."
"Sure, yeah, okay, whatever…no problem." He said, very intrigued.
"You know those rich kid's that come in all the time? Fiona and Declan?" She asked.
"Yeah…" He asked on the edge of his seat.
"I came home one night when Spinner was working the late shift, and I saw Jane and Declan in bed together…" She let the words slip out very cautiously, afraid he wouldn't believe her either.
"NO WAY!!! That would kill him, she's his everything, all he ever talks about is her…and you." He admitted.
"ME?! WHY?!" She asked totally surprised.
"He's been trying to get me to ask you out since the first day we met." He admitted.
"Really? But I would have never said yes to you back then, I just thought you were some cocky asshole!" She admitted.
"Back then?" He asked, quite interested. "What about now?" He asked, cocking his eyebrow. God she just always melted when he looked at her like that.
Renee felt quite embarrassed right then and there, realizing that she had just hinted to him that she would like to go out with him. But they had just made out, he had never asked her anything like that about being serious, and she didn't want to seem needy or pushy.
"Well, I don't know…I guess it's a different story now that I've gotten to know you." She said. No point in lying, the cat was out of the bag now.
"Okay…so do you want to?" Jay asked, not beating around the bush.
"Are you being serious?" She asked cautiously.
"Of course." He said, sounding a little offended.
"I do…would…yes." She answered, stumbling over her words.
"Then it's official!" He announced, sounding quite triumphant. "But do you want it public? In case you haven't noticed, I'm not the most popular guy in town."
"Well, to quote you: 'I really like you and nothing else matters." She said as she leaned in to kiss him passionately. "Goodnight Jay…"
"Goodnight babe…" He replied, not wanting to let go of her, secretly wishing she would sleep in bed with him tonight. But all in good time though, he thought to himself.
"Babe…?" He called after her.
"Hmm?" She turned to face him.
"Tomorrow we'll have to have a serious talk about the Spinner situation though, alright? The guy's my best-my only-real friend. I need to help him out somehow." He told her.
She nodded solemnly, "I understand."
"Besides, without him I would have never met you." He told her, giving her one last peck goodnight, before heading off to their separate rooms.
CHAPTER TEN
The next morning when I woke up in Jay's old bed once again, like I had so many times before, I looked around at my familiar surroundings, but felt different for all that had happened the night before. Maybe we were going too fast? We were both hurt so badly so recently, but I had to admit that while you never seem to forget the pain, being with each other certainly numbs it greatly. Or perhaps we're finally starting to heal from our emotional wounds? I have always been a 'follow your heart' kind of girl. Most of the time it had gotten me hurt badly, only one other time had it paid off. But each mistake that led me to another had eventually led me to that one time. I don't know yet if this is the mistake or the payoff yet, but it was certainly worth exploring further.
Before I knew it, I was ready. Sometimes my thoughts had a way of carrying me away and passing the time rather quickly. I headed down the stairs to find a note hanging on the front door from Jay. It read that he had to be in an hour earlier this morning due to a last minute appointment with a very important client with a BMW.
So, off I headed to work. When I got there, I was shocked to see Spinner's lime green car there on his day off-on Jane's big day. I started to get a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach.
I inserted my key in the lock, and tried to open the door quietly, but to no avail, as I seen Spinner shoot his head up from one of the booths he was lying in…
"Good morning sleepy head." Renee greeted her friend.
"Good for you maybe…" Spinner grunted out.
"Dude, what's the matter? Why are you even here? Shouldn't you be getting ready for the ceremony?" She asked, feeling as though she already knew the answer.
She started to see his eyes glaze over and well up with tears.
"No, not anymore. Hey, you missed all the fun last night." Spinner told her bitterly with a chuckle. "After the Senior Ball got out last night, I got a call saying the silent alarm had gone off here, so I told Jane that I would be right back after I went to check it out. She got annoyed, muttering something that I all I cared about was work, and that she always felt that I put her on the backburner." He swallowed hard and continued. "I assured her I wouldn't be long and would meet her back at the house for the party. The alarm turned out to be just the back door not shut entirely and the wind had caught it. So I hurried back, but I couldn't find her anywhere downstairs with everybody else, so I figured she was up in our room, pouting…you know how she gets…"
"Yes, I do…" Michelle assured him, dreading what he was going to say next.
"Well, when I got up there, I heard someone in the room with her laughing. I was seeing red. I kicked in the door and found her naked on top of that snooty little prick that's always in here. I don't remember the rest very much. All I know is that I kicked that little fucker's ass, and she kicked me out the door. It's all my fault…I drove her away…If I hadn't had to come back here…this would have never happened."
"That's not true, Spin. I always thought they flirted. I should have said something. Before it was too late." She said, mentally kicking herself in the ass for not getting this out in the open earlier. She had just figured that it was none of her business if they seemed happy, but she would have wanted him to return the favor. But it was too late, now she was feeling racked with guilt that she wasn't revealing the entire truth. The damage was done now though, no sense in making it worse.
"How were you supposed to know?" Spinner asked, as if telepathically. "Anyway, just let it go. What's done is done."
"Sure, no problem." Renee said.
"Hey, do you think Jay would care if I stayed with him for awhile…just until she gets her shit packed up out of mine?" He queried.
"Probably, more than likely…but there's something you should know…" She started.
"…Yeah, I know, you don't think you can stay alone in the house with Jane. I understand, I'm pretty sure Jay wouldn't care if you came, too. You're practically over there everynight as it is anyways" He concluded.
"Well that's not it…well, it is…but there's more…" She explained.
"Then…what?" He asked confused.
"Jay and I…we're kind of…together." She winced, preparing for his reaction.
Spinner grinned from ear to ear. "Finally you're an item…it's about time."
She was genuinely surprised. "Wow, really? I thought you were going to start calling me stupid, a moron…"
"Oh, you are..." He kidded. "