Somewhere I Belong

Chapter One

A/N: Hello all! This story started because of a plot bunny that came to me in a dream. It's not my first fanfic, but it is my first WaT story. So please let me know what you think! Thanks!

It happened seven days ago. Seven days ago, her heart stopped and she felt like she was suffocating. She had felt fear before, like when she was caught in the hostage situation a while back, but this fear was different. For the first time in her life, she felt true fear for someone besides herself. Seven days ago her world changed. Seven days ago, Danny and Martin were ambushed while transferring Adisa. While Danny was considered lucky, only taking a bullet in his left shoulder, Martin was in worse shape.

She sat by his hospital bed with his right hand clasped tightly in hers and staring at his face. The only noises in the room were the various machines that he was connected to. Heart monitors, life support machines and IV's were connected to all different parts of his body, sustaining his life until he was healed enough to do it on his own. That sickening hospital smell, disinfectants mixed with death and suffering, drove her to the brink of insanity. She had always hated hospitals and tried to avoid them as much as possible. But now, the hospital called to her like a siren beckoning her to this room. So she stayed and she waited.

For seven days now he has been in a coma, and for seven days she has stayed by his side almost constantly. Only leaving to let Martin's family have some time with him, change clothes, occasionally eat, visit Danny and Viv, and stop in at work, she maintained her vigil at his bedside. A good night's sleep was something that she had learned to live without over the past week, instead opting to spend the entire night watching him and waiting for him to wake up. Sometimes she would talk to him about anything and everything that entered her mind. Other times, like now, she simply held on to his hand and memorized his face for the millionth time. She knew it was silly, but sometimes she thought that if she stared at him long and hard enough he would open his eyes and stare back.

Even though she heard the clicking of shoes as someone entered the room, she didn't take her eyes off of Martin.

"How is he?" Danny asked quietly, coming over to stand behind Samantha. He felt bad that this was the first time he had come to visit his best friend. He had been released from the hospital less than twenty-four hours after the shooting so he had no real excuse—except that he was afraid and feeling guilty. No matter how many times he tried to tell himself otherwise he still thought that there was something more he could have done to prevent Martin from getting shot. Maybe he could have called out a warning faster, or insisted that they have an escort while transferring Adisa. There had to have been some way to prevent this from happening.

"He's the same." Samantha replied, glad that Danny had finally come by. Danny had been avoiding Martin's room and kept putting off any trips to see him. She understood why though. The feelings of guilt were evident on Danny's face. Besides, she knew him too well.

He wasn't sure what else to say so he settled on some small talk. "How long have you been here?"

She let out a huge sigh. "Feels like forever."

"He'll wake up." Danny told her, trying to sound enthusiastic and positive. "He has to."

Samantha gently laid Martin's hand back down on the bed and stood up to face Danny. Then she did something that she didn't do very often. She reached out and carefully gave Danny a hug, making sure that she didn't hurt his shoulder.

He was surprised by the hug. In all the years that he had known her, she had never once hugged him. Maybe being in love with Martin had opened up her softer side after all. "What was that for?"

"Can't a girl just hug her friends every once and a while?" Samantha smiled weakly.

"Yeah, of course they can. But we're talking about you here. You never hug." He eyed her suspiciously.

"Well I've come to a few conclusions while sitting here."

He chuckled for the first time since the attack. Samantha has come up with conclusions? This should be good. "Such as what?"

"For starters, the line between life and death is a thin one. You never know when something bad is going to happen to someone you care about so you should never hold back anything." She glanced back at Martin. "He left that night not knowing how much I lo…" She shut her eyes tightly to drive away the tears that threatened to fall. "I'm not letting that happen again to anyone I care about. You're one of my closest friends and I'm sorry that I don't show that as often as I should."

"It's ok." He didn't expect her to have come up with such a serious conclusion, but was glad. Maybe this meant that she was going to open up more. If so, perhaps her relationship with Martin could still be salvaged—once he woke up.

She sat back down and laid her hand down on Martin's. "So how are you doing?"

"Fine." Danny replied, not wanting to talk about himself.

"Ok." She didn't believe him, but didn't push because she saw that he didn't want to talk about it. She would let it go for now, but made a mental note to ask him about it later. "When are you going to be able to return to work?"

"Probably a couple of weeks. Van Doren wants to make sure that my shoulder is completely healed first." He replied, looking at his watch. "I better get going."

"What? So soon? You just got here." She couldn't believe that he was already leaving after spending only minutes here.

"I've gotta go visit Viv. I promised I'd stop by after dinner." He hated using Viv as a cover for his lie, but he wasn't sure how much longer he could stay in Martin's room without the guilt overtaking him.

"Ok." Samantha resigned. "Tell her I said hello."

"I will." Danny gave a small smile.

"Take care of yourself." She called out as he left.

"You too."

Soon it was just Samantha, Martin, and the countless machines left in the room. "Looks like it's just us again." Stifling a yawn, she grabbed a hold of his hand again. As she looped her fingers through his, she kissed each one of his knuckles. After yawning a second time decided to lay her head down for just a moment to take a quick power nap.

Slowly opening her eyes, she moved away from Martin's bed and stretched out. Because her back hurt and there were kinks in her neck she knew that she had slept in that chair for at least two hours. She was frustrated when she looked at the clock and saw that it was already ten in the morning. Jack was going to be so furious with her for not showing up to work. Grabbing her purse, she laid a soft kiss on Martin's forehead before rushing off to work.

Twenty minutes later, she rushed off the elevator and headed straight for Jack's office. "Jack, I'm so sorry…"

"Well look who decided to come to work." He joked gruffly. Then he turned serious. "Let me guess. You were at the hospital again?"

"Yes." She nodded, hoping that he wasn't going to be mad. "I fell asleep."

"I figured as much." The truth though, was that about an hour ago he called the hospital and found out that she was sleeping in Martin's room again. Rather than having the nurse wake her up, he let her get some rest. He took in her appearance. She was still wearing the same thing she wore yesterday. There were dark circles forming under her eyes as well. "You look exhausted. Maybe tonight you shouldn't spend so much time at the hospital with Martin. Maybe instead you should have a nice meal and get some sleep in a comfortable bed."

"I can't do that Jack." She objected. "I have to be there for him once he wakes up."

"So the first thing you want him to see is someone who looks worn out? No offense Samantha, but you look terrible."

She finally just snapped. All of the emotions that she had been feeling for the past week started flowing out. "I know what I'm doing Jack! Just leave me alone about this!"

"I'm only trying to look out for you." He quietly explained, "That's what friends do."

"I know. I shouldn't have yelled at you like that." She walked over and sat on his couch, burying her head in her hands. "Everything's just such a mess right now."

"Martin is going to be ok. He's strong." Jack was glad to see that Samantha was finally starting to let out her feelings about Martin's condition. She had been bottling it up for too long. For the past few days she had been acting almost like a robot.

She looked over at Jack, contemplating whether or not to let him in on her latest secret. Finally deducing that she couldn't keep it a secret forever, she decided to let him know. He'd need to know sooner or later anyway. "It's not just about Martin."

He was confused and moved to sit on the other side of the couch. "Then what else is bothering you?"

"The night of the shooting, before I transferred Paige, I got a call from my doctor. I wasn't feeling very well and, Jack, I'm pregnant." She waited to see Jacks' reaction.

That was the last thing he ever expected Samantha to tell him. While it did hurt him when he first found out about her relationship with Martin, he could tell that she was happier with him. Once he released his feelings of jealousy, he realized that she deserved to be happy. So Samantha was now pregnant with Martin's child? Well she was right when she said that things were a mess. "How far along are you?"

"Almost three months." She whispered.

The surprised him. "You're that far along already?"

She didn't want to have to justify herself, but did anyway. "I've been distracted with other things lately."

"Like your break-up with Martin?" He asked softly.

"Yeah." She nodded.

They sat there together for a few moments, each lost in their own thoughts. He couldn't believe that she was going to be a mother. She had always acted like she never wanted kids of her own. "So, you're gonna be a mother?"

"Looks like it." She chuckled. "You're the first person I've told."

"You've been keeping this a secret for a week now?" He was impressed, but he shouldn't have been. Samantha was very experienced at keeping secrets.

"It just never seemed like the right time to tell anyone. But now, I guess I just had to tell someone." She ran her fingers through a strand of her hair, just like Martin used to do. He would always wake up first in the morning and would run his fingers through her hair when he thought she was still asleep. He didn't know that she usually pretended to be asleep just to let him play with her hair. "What if he doesn't wake up? Or he does wake up but doesn't want me? What if he doesn't want this child? What am I going to do if he wants this child but not me?"

Jack put his arm around her shoulder. "It's going to be ok. No matter what, you have people who care about you and will do anything to help you. Danny and Viv are going to be here for you. I'm sure of it. And I'll help you any way I can."

She gave a small smile. "Thanks Jack. That means a lot."

"Now, I want you to take the day off and go home. Get some rest and eat a good meal for once."

"Jack…we have paperwork and with Danny and Viv gone…"

He interrupted her. "I'll handle the paperwork. Don't worry about it. You need to be taking better care of yourself now. Your life isn't just about you anymore. So go, ok?"

She wanted to argue with him, but sighed and decided that it wasn't worth it. He was right. She did have to take better care of herself these days. "Fine."

"I expect you to come back tomorrow better rested." Jack ordered.

Standing up, she mock saluted him and said, "Yes sir!" On her way of the office, she turned back to face him. "Thanks for listening to me."

"Anytime." He smiled, watching her leave his office.

Danny strolled down a street that he had walked along hundreds of times before, not paying attention to where he was going. He had nowhere to go and nothing to do since he couldn't go back to work yet. Of course he could go visit Vivian or Martin, but he didn't want to pretend he was fine in front of Vivian and he was terrified of entering Martin's hospital room again. While he was visiting yesterday, he wanted to crawl out of his skin, sink into a corner and hide from the world.

Memories of the shoot out played almost constantly in his mind and the guilt he was feeling threatened to swallow him whole. He was falling; he knew he was falling, but he didn't know how to stop. He didn't know how to get rid of the guilt he was feeling. He was fine, except for the sling he has to wear and the couple of weeks that he has to miss from work. Martin however, wasn't so lucky. He had so many thoughts and feelings running through his head that he just wanted to scream. Instead he kept walking. About five minutes later he stopped on a street corner, and while waiting at the crosswalk, saw he was standing right in front of a bar. He toyed with the idea of going inside and getting something to drink even though it wasn't even noon yet. He needed an escape from this guilt, and he needed it quickly. Maybe alcohol could help.

Against his better judgment he entered the bar and climbed onto a bar stool.

"A little early for a drink, isn't it?" The bartender asked, walking over to his customer. When Danny didn't respond, the man realized that the man in front of him was not going to be very talkative. "What can I get you?"

Danny hesitated, knowing that this wasn't the best thing to do. There were other ways of dealing with guilt that didn't involve getting drunk. He just couldn't think of them right now. "I'll have a beer."

"Ok." The bartender worked quickly and placed a beer in front of Danny just a few seconds later.

He sat there watching the beer that had been placed in front of him and contemplated what he was about to do. Taking a deep breath, he picked up the beer and started moving it closer and closer to his mouth. He was just a few seconds away from taking his first drink in a very long time when his cell phone rang. "Damn." He cursed softly, even though deep down inside he was glad for the interruption.

He thought about ignoring whoever was calling him, but after the fifth ring he couldn't take it anymore. "Taylor."

"Danny, hey. It's Samantha." She could tell that he sounded tense and wondered why. "Did I interrupt something?"

He sighed and took a glance at the beer on the bar. "Nothing important. What's up?" He tried to sound happier.

"Jack gave me the day off. I was about to order a pizza for lunch and wanted to know if you were free to join me."

"You don't want to eat alone?" He guessed.

"No I don't, but I also want to talk to you about something." Since telling Jack about the pregnancy, she felt better and had decided to tell Danny and Vivian too.

"Sounds serious." He wasn't sure what she wanted to talk to him about.

"It is, but I don't want to say it over the phone." Samantha replied.

"Is it Martin?" He asked softly. "Did something happen?"

"No. He still hasn't woken up." She shook off the sadness she felt about that and tried to be more optimistic. "So are you coming for pizza or what?"

Danny looked back at the beer. He could either sit here and drink himself into oblivion or go have pizza with Samantha. While normally that would be a no-brainer question, it took him a few seconds to come up with the answer. "I'll be right there."